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Married men of Ohmojo: Are you happy?

Submitted by Harshid Location: All India (All India, India)

Guys, many got married due to family commitments or force or own interest etc.

Just did we ask ourselves "am I happy and satisfied?"

Also did ever get a response as " yes" completely?

Let's share our views here.

Reply/Post a comment

Displaying 151 to 200 of 300 comments.
Previous comments: 1  2  3  4  5  6  

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Posted On Sep 20, 2022 - 09:22 AM

I was unhappy with the marriage so i got divorced and now leading a happy life. I’m not encouraging for divorce as it’s not an easy process. First, you have your reasons ready to proceed for a divorce. If her family gets to know that you are gay then your life will be messed up. Also, as we initiate the divorce name, her family may get angry and put unnecessary clauses against you in divorce process. They may drag your family also. So, think wisely and take action. If you feel that it’s worth fighting for then go ahead but think in all possible scenarios. If you are going to tell any other reason, again after divorce your family will start asking you to get married to other girl. You’ve to make it clear. If any help needed. Ping me in DM. Ready to help you always!

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Posted On Sep 20, 2022 - 09:54 AM

@Dearzindagi dont simply think of divorce, once u r married you need to think about ur partner, probability of remarriage is very less so its better you balance your life by indulging in new fantasies till you are bored, then think of new fantasy thats how you can keep urself busy as well as indulging in your life along with your partner. What @Carl77 said is logical, so better not to think of divorce. just go with the flow, if u r frustrated talk to ur wife in a way like u r roleplay and convey your point to her. just like how you see in *** ppl dress up as police or doc and nurse simillarly have a funny conversation or act and then see the reaction of ur partner, if everything goes well, and if she wants a divorce then go for it, as mutual concent is really required. And also it goes in the rituals that you are not suppose to share the sexual sceret that happend in the 4 walls of the room to the public or to the relatives. secret stays between the partners. yeah that a different point when he / she is angry and dont want to hold the secret. Just start with a role play fantasy may be after you both are comfortable revel her ur secret in that way. if reaction is good tell the truth, if the reaction is opposite laught it out and skip to the next act.

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Posted On Sep 20, 2022 - 10:11 AM

No I am not planning or willing to divorce actually.

My Life is a bit boring after marriage

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Coming Ahmedaba
Posted On Sep 20, 2022 - 11:13 AM

I am bisexual and unmarried yet. I feel like i only go to top and bottoms to satisfy my hunger. I dont really get attached to them and think of loving them the way i like to love a girl. Is it possible that my attachment towards male for sexual pleasure gradually decrease after marriage? I am actually wanting that. I want to take care of my wife snd spend time with family. After marriage no more want to be interested in gay world. Is it possible to completely go away from gay stuff?
Sharing this because some of us might have same mentality.

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Posted On Sep 20, 2022 - 11:59 AM


It's just that you're confused about orientation. If you've been well in the last one year and if your wife is also happy, all that it requires is a counselling to clear your doubts. When she's happy, it means, you're satisfying her in all her needs.

So divorce isn't an option and take it from me, you've not made a mistake at all. It's just that you weren't prepared for this... Take your time and contemplate well. You can continue to be in family life and keep her happy.

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Posted On Sep 20, 2022 - 01:31 PM

@Etc , yes I agree that I was not prepared at all for marriage. Due to huge family pressure I took that decision. Meanwhile we are expecting.

It’s so fast that I can’t cope up with all these new changes.

Sometimes I feel like having *** with guys, but I can’t find anyone who is hitting on me, as I have closed all gay stuffs/contacts /networks 2 years before. I feel very low, depressed. I am realising that if I want to make everyone happy, I have to keep myself happy. And I can’t leave gay part of my life completely. I am in dilemma that I will cheat her someday.

I didn’t want to cheat anyone

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Posted On Sep 20, 2022 - 02:52 PM

I am married for 6 yrs.
I was and am suffering from gender dysphoria but for divorce is not the option, I just don't want.
She loves me cares me and I know I need her for almost everything.

I talked for a while and disclosed my orientation, she has no issue with my past, but she doesn't want now and she doubts me. one day she said one day in a week is okay but no girl, next day she said no.

Now I wear panty and bra and are parts of my daily wear, she has no issues.

I have dildo at home, sometimes she use on me, she knows I like.

We have *** life as well, she enjoys too but because of my orientation it occurs less often, she is okay with it.

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Posted On Sep 21, 2022 - 07:26 AM

Dear @lovermybotty you are very very very lucky person, you have such a great wife who loves you after knowing all about you and still you are happy and able do what you want means wearing bra and panty and having *** with dildo.
Touch wood dear, take care of her and your self also.

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Posted On Sep 21, 2022 - 08:26 AM

As a married man I am not happy. Like me there are many. We discuss about our married life & most of us are not happy or few pretends to be happy. We form a group of gays among ourselves and meet personally each other to fulfill our needs & sexual desires . We don't talk or spoil the name of our group members. We are very happy now since we all are fed up with our wifes. Gay *** is such lovely & beautiful we realized very late. But better late than never.

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Posted On Sep 21, 2022 - 09:10 AM

Gays get married because of society pressure. Whoever don't want to get married please be upfront or manage compromise life balance. Don't ruin someone elses life because of the damage already done.

Firstly, talk to your partenr about your orientation. If your partner is able to understand and ready to live with you then respect her. However, if the partner doesn't agree then put the ball in her court.

You can still live discreet life if you aren't guilt conscious

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Posted On Sep 21, 2022 - 10:20 AM

I am married guy, before marriage i used spend lots of time in cursing spots and with frnds after marriage n having a kid there is a responsibilty and fear following me now I don't have dare to roam in cusrsingspots and I am sure i will not the the life before marriage again.

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Posted On Sep 21, 2022 - 10:34 AM

Guys, every phase of life is different... are we not facing challenge when moving from child hood to school... school to college.. college to work... ?
similar way, married life is also comes with different challenge.. everyone should learn to live and make own life happy... There will be no improvement if starts worrying... Me too married.. leading both the side without any issues...

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Posted On Sep 21, 2022 - 10:47 AM

I am bottom for year now I know a bottom can never be happy I not know about top

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Posted On Sep 21, 2022 - 12:33 PM

I KnOw BoTTomS cAn nEvEr bE hApPY. 🤡🤡. Kid has confused happiness with Sexual Satisfaction it seems.

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Posted On Sep 21, 2022 - 02:52 PM

I've never felt a strong attraction and perpetual love for anyone.
It has always been a phase for me. Be it a girl or a boy. After a while I lose interest even if they're really really hot. I'm more attracted to guys than girls. And I've accepted it; it's not going to change. I'm not married yet but thinking about getting married coz of family situation and social benefits.
I feel more than love or sexual attraction; marriage is about understanding and adjustments. I'll only marry if I find a compatible and understanding girl who's ready to give each other space they need.

Honestly, all my straight cousins also had problems in their marriages. It's not that they were straight hence marriage worked for them. One cousin even came up to getting divorce but they stayed together for kids.
So it's not always sexual orientation that creates problems. It could be one of the many reasons you're feeling insufficiency in marriage.

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Posted On Sep 21, 2022 - 03:08 PM

I am a happy married bi white foreigner bottom. I love *** with my wife, I love my wife and children and I absolutely love being used by young smooth slim NE Indian tops every time I come to India. I feel like I'm living the dream.

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Posted On Sep 21, 2022 - 05:51 PM

I’m happily married for last 8+ years and enjoy our married life fully. Our conjugal relationship is also satisfying for both of us. But sometimes I feel to watch gay *** or surf gay sites, I do that. I am satisfied with my meager gay needs too.

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Posted On Sep 21, 2022 - 07:11 PM

It is very easy to live a married life if you are gay but condition is that -- never had a real gaysex or never had any gay relationship... Because if you are already in love with any gay boyfriend then it's difficult to forget him. So it's an advice that never get into real gay *** or never fall in love with any gay boyfriend.. By this you can have a happy married life with your wife.
Because if you see then most of people find difficulty are the one who had experienced gay *** ever in life or had ever loved any gay boyfriend.

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Posted On Sep 22, 2022 - 04:33 AM

To have a successful married life, the first condition is you should love your spouse.
Gay men's brains are wired to love men and get sexually attracted to men.
Such men can never be happy in marriage with a woman.
Bisexuals can .

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Posted On Sep 22, 2022 - 10:33 AM

I agree with you @fifty. As a bisexual, I only had romantic bonding with my wife. Sexual pleasure with same gender is a fun and satisfying factor. But no strings are attached to the same *** fun from my end.

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Posted On Sep 22, 2022 - 11:21 AM

I am a married guy... won't say am gay - neither bi... somewhere in between (probably 85% gay on Kinsey's scale).

Mine was a arranged married and I came out to my wife around 6 years back. It was a nightmare initially. Lot of crying, silence , anxiety & awkwardness initially. Then we kept discussing and decided to meet a therapist. We got stuck with a money milking therapist - who wanted to do color therapy & some neuro linguistic therapy to make me forgot my bad thoughts!

I refused to visit her again & met a very renowned psychiatrist. He confirmed that we should see LGBTQ affirmative marriage counsellor, which we did. After many sessions, we both gradually started getting friendly again and now after many years - she has accepted me, the way I am. I visit my gay friends & go to gay parties, under her knowledge (I am still out only to her and ofcourse not to famillies). It was her decision to continue to stay with me (I gave her all choices, with full financial comfort). We both have accepted that our marriage is more of friendship & flat mate situation. We really like each other (won't say love really) and like staying with each other.

I personally don't recommend younger gay people to get married while lying to themselves and the future partner. Living a dual life is extremely painful and not everyone is lucky to have an understanding wife (if they ever want to come out).

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Posted On Sep 22, 2022 - 03:00 PM

@paaonnet. Why u told your wife that you are gay?
U wanted to have *** with men?
Say what if you didn't want to have *** with men.. you could have control your *** desire... I am 26.. I never had *** with any men yet neither I want to...I just fantasize and *** ... That's it.... I never feel to meet any men and go for real ***

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Posted On Sep 22, 2022 - 03:30 PM

Perhaps, only if we all could express ourselves without idealising, we can be our honest best. Also, please show some restraints while interacting with other members. We all are placed in different situations.

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Posted On Sep 22, 2022 - 03:42 PM

I don't know where I am in life... I am 26 bottom but never had any kind of *** with any men and I am sure that I will never go for *** with any men... I want to marry a women have kids and good life... But main problem is will I be able to have *** with wife... Is there any way by which I can get *** with women....

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Posted On Sep 22, 2022 - 04:06 PM

@rohan123rohanbo, bro first of all stop thinking that whether u ll be able to get *** with wife, if u want to start a family, go ahead with a positive mind set, at this age if there is no medical histroy, then getting proper *** is very easy just need ur proper involvment with her and enjoy ur life, if still there ia aome problem i r facing, consult a doctor, every problem in this world has a solution.

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Posted On Sep 22, 2022 - 05:47 PM

Rohan123, do you feel aroused while watching women or thinking about them? If you watch ***, where do you focus - on the man or woman?
If possible try to have a sexual encounter with a woman or maybe one or more encounter since you will be hesitant for the first time.
This might answer your question.

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Posted On Sep 23, 2022 - 03:35 AM

@fifty . No I don't feel aroused while watching women or thinking about women..
That's why I don't get *** with women.... That's why I am Asking is there anyway I can have ***??
I get *** when I think of men..

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Posted On Sep 23, 2022 - 05:49 AM

Rohan123, I don't think sexuality cannot be changed.
There is nothing wrong with being attracted only to men.

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Posted On Sep 23, 2022 - 06:26 AM

@paaonnet, absolutely true .. living a dual life peacefully is not everyone's cup of tea.

I became comfortable with my sexuality when I was 28 and identify myself as a bisexual with more attraction towards feminine boys. I was part of Good as you in blr and a LGBTQ activist as well. When I failed in my relationship with boys I gave in to my family pressure and agreed to get married. However I was determined I should be open to the future partner about myself and not have any guilt of cheating.

Got engaged when I was 31 and had a six month gap before the marriage. she was in Chennai n me in blr. on my 2nd visit after the engagement I told her, at first she was not sure of homosexuality which then I had to explain and even took her to an internet centre and showed her gay, lesbian n bisexual ***. she then understood n laid a condition of no more women.

I was feeling lucky to have found her, but after 3 years we had to part ways due to family compatibility issues. we have now bn seperated since 16 yrs not divorced and have a 18 yr old son.

it's wise to be open and not feel guilty

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Posted On Sep 23, 2022 - 06:38 AM

Rohan123,As far as I know, it is not possible but I am not an expert. I suggest you consult a sexologist or a psychologist, but do tell them that you feel aroused by men and not by women.
Must warn you that not all doctors have knowledge and acceptance of homosexuality and some even suggest treatment to alter your sexuality. Some countries have banned such treatment.

I am also like you. I have no interest in women. In fact i wish I had a woman's body.

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Posted On Oct 7, 2022 - 02:07 PM

I'm gay married to woman 15 years, LIFE IS HELL.
Initially I thought that I can manage somehow making false erections imaginings men and just *** in the ***. It worked earlier but after years NATUTE WON. My cunning mind failed. I made mistake of marrying a woman and wasted her life. She's very precious and innocent, now I'm creating all dramas to blame her and trying to leave her.
Guys, please understand onething. Marriage is not natural. If it's required for humanity, nature would have arranged it, like Air, water etc., it's just a human created one. That's the reason it's failing always. Marriage is not needed for everyone. Just LIVING TOGETHER is enough. You can see the western countries are following this. They are not cheating anyone. If they decided to live with one partner, they are loyal. When the time comes they are unable to be loyal, they move to another person. Nothing wrong in it instead of faking throughout life like eastern countries.
Please live naturally, follow your heart. Don't commit anything for lifetime. Because things are changing. Change is the only constant in life.
SIMPLE RULE: A simple rule to decide whether you want to marry or not is:
Just even ONLY ONCE you are in a dilemma about marrying... then please don't marry.
People who want to marry will not even think twice.
Good bye.

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Posted On Oct 7, 2022 - 02:21 PM

What I understood throughout my 45 years life:

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Posted On Oct 7, 2022 - 06:32 PM

Allroadsarelead, you spoke very well on your post but for the following line.//She's very precious and innocent, now I'm creating all dramas to blame her and trying to leave her.//

Don't do that man. It is a sin. Gradually open up and leave. With already 15yrs wasted, she shouldn't be too late in case she plans for another marriage. Be very careful in this ... You speak much about heart, nature etc , must be aware nature will respond to you in the harshest way possible.

Don't mistake me... Not trying moral policing or moral teaching... Hope you get this in the right way.

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Posted On Oct 7, 2022 - 10:59 PM

#Etc, thank you. Sure, I got your point. I said that in a depressed mind. But, actually that's IMPOSSIBLE to leave. I have to continue my life as it is. However, thank you for your kind words.

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Posted On Oct 8, 2022 - 03:55 AM

Just curious to know if *** is becoming less happening on busy schedule of both working and 2 kids and joint family kind of family life is very common or it shows lesser *** drive ? And after 38+ age..

Am falling into d same category and so started feeling that.. Even I stopped meeting Gay or bi people often due to time constraints..

But not sure if unavoidable situations like family commitments will become hurdles for normal *** life of married men after certain age is common?

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Posted On Oct 8, 2022 - 06:25 AM

Just for sake of giving a different perspective on this question which I think is not often seen is: Yes I am very happy (plot twist is I married the guy i fell in love with!)

I feel like marriage should never be a compromise, because eventually it takes a toll on your mental health because you are constantly trying to keep up with it!

Gay marriages are not easy either, but just like every relationship it takes work! I followed my heart and always took paths that others would frown upon.. but found happiness when i least expected it!

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Posted On Oct 8, 2022 - 06:36 AM

I am living double life...i am married with girl and i am more intrested in boys...

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Posted On Oct 8, 2022 - 08:38 AM

Fullyexploreme, totally taken by surprise...

What a well timed post yours is. Yesterday I almost created a new thread and gave it a title too on this topic, later somewhat distracted and couldn't complete it.

I am at 38 exactly and facing some fluctuations in sexual feelings.

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Posted On Oct 10, 2022 - 07:53 PM

i totally agree @vihit2345, marriage is between two people be it same *** of diff thats a separate thing, but all the challenges, compromises, adjustments, sentiments, jitters, nervousness, etc.. feelings are same for both kind of marriage, its between those two people who need to take it along together and make life happier for both of them. now for those who like men but married women because of one or the other abovementioned reason, they need to understand and take a next step accordingly, meaning if its early in married life and do not have kids etc.. also you are not happy sexually, its better that you come out to atleast your partner and make them understand and leave peacefully, but if you have kids and all, then be very careful as to what their life would become if you leave, so again talk to you partner and come out to them, but do not plan to leave, atleast this way you would be honest with your partner and be able to have *** with another men guilt free. like the latest primevideo movie maja maa, rightly mentioned, that when where to whom one need to come out its that persons decision and wish, others cannot force them to do so

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Posted On Oct 10, 2022 - 07:57 PM

@Etc and @fullyexploreme i dont thing time is a constraint for pleasure, its more about finding the right companion, if you have any regular gay/bi fren who plays with you then you will take time out and manage to have fun with them, if not and you are searching for random people everyday on dating platforms, and not getting any response, then you would blame it on time and family and other blah blah constraints, having *** with wife is definitely going to fade away coz you are not attracted to them, initially you did because you wanted to have kids (for societal pressure or whateva) and you did not want your wife to feel like you are impotent or something else etc..

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Posted On Oct 11, 2022 - 04:41 PM

May b I have a different view..

When u have more lust towards a guy and even u find a sqft place is enough to have *** with gay/bi, then you should not be thinking more when u have a 3bhk home with u and person with more rights is near to u but u finding reason for not having *** is actually a escapism.

The truth is
1. you are not attracted or
2. You are attracted but not comfortable with the person or
3. You are not comfortable to have *** when surrounded by kids sleeping near to u.

If Reason 1 then you should not have got marrieee.
If reason 2, then it's ur fate and you should make the other person to understand
If resson 3, then it's fair enough and you should book and go more vacation trips with ur partner 🙂

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Posted On Oct 11, 2022 - 05:09 PM

I came out to my family in 2020(lock down) ; it looked alright and accepted back then…..but nothing can change the mindset of a middle class Indian family…….. I still get offers like “we will search for a girl who doesn’t need ***” !!!
The girl might not need *** …. But I need love n ***… y don’t Indian parents understand this….. it’s so uncomfortable to talk all this with family!!

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Posted On Oct 11, 2022 - 06:21 PM

married men attracted to other men.....can be bisexual or gay.
if you are just married or getting married: go along with the family planning methods available for at least a year or two before making babies. this will give you an opportunity to think if you can handle your marriage responsibilities to your wife including *** (without thinking of having companionship and *** with men), avoid a messy divorce and pressure about kids.
if you are married for a number of years and have kids, you are in a soup:
1) the easier option is to stay in the marriage, fulfill your obligations as a husband(***) and father, besides have SAFE fun on the side i emphasise SAFE, as if you contract any diseases via oral/***/rimming...you will destroy not just your life but also that of your family!!! a simple way to be SAFE is to find another family guy (who values his health and that of his family) in a similar situation and have fun. this option has been going on amongst most gay men for centuries. guilt? you will have to forgive yourself. but if you decide to play around with every tom, *** and hari........you CANNOT BE FORGIVEN!!!
2) if you want your freedom, you have a price to pay.....divorce, family support, family disintegration and loss of family and family friends. ALSO BE PREPARED TO COOK AND LOOK AFTER YOURSELF.
3)IF YOU HAVE AN UNDERSTANDING WIFE....show her some heterosexual ***, then later introduce a threesome ***. if she is comfortable seeing a guy *** another....maybe it would then be time for you to confess. a 50-50 situation.
for guys thinking about getting married or are being pressurised: THINK SERIOUSLY! you do not want to cause another INNOCENT person pain because of your selfishness. it will come back to BITE you! so your options to escape:
1) find work in another city away from home
2) talk with a gay friendly doctor and explain you situation. ask him to tell your family that you have a sexual problem....ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION (hope and pray that works)! 😜

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Posted On Oct 12, 2022 - 05:30 AM

It All depends on how you manage. For me *** is passion. Love to *** long time. Same I do by going to seeshmahal or any outdoor fun. But now days I am not getting time as I am WFH and staying with wife. On the other hand I *** too fast when having *** with wife. She need more long plays which I am not able to give. I asked her, if you want lets try anyone outside. But she said that it's not required, I am fine for her. But we do roleplay as she booked a massager and having fun with him. This way we added spice to our life and it is going well. But when ever I come to this portal or when ever I am alone, I feel that I need a *** to *** and that urge me to go to online dating or seeshmaahal to have fun. Again I will be normal once I ate all the ***

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Posted On Oct 12, 2022 - 06:22 AM

I think a lot depends on what you are attracted to. If you are attracted to men, then your wife cannot fulfill that part of attraction. but if you are attracted to being *** or being treated like a woman, then may be she could.. i wanted to wear panties n dresses, be *** in my b*tt n be treated like a woman. for years fought the feeling n screwed up my sexlife with my wife. then one day gathered courage to tell her all. she freaked but overtime we both realized we love each other and this is just a sexual desire of mine.. now we have the best ***, she fucks me with a strap on, when abroad i wear dresses and we go to LGBTQ+ bars as a couple. its awesome fun

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Posted On Oct 12, 2022 - 09:04 AM

Married men are SO DESPERATE. Gosh, it's not funny. The way they are seeing *** with men is unreal. They are more frequent in group *** events, *** parties, orgies, and gay parties. Even if there is a minuscule opportunity for *** I have seen more married men present than gay men. And they are NEVER satisfied. LIke a bottomless pit, their lust is insatiable and never quenched.

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Posted On Oct 12, 2022 - 01:53 PM

I won't judge anyone. People do things for different reasons. I have a regular *** buddy who is a married (to a woman) and we are pretty close. He isn't particularly unhappy about his marriage, but on more than one occasion has felt it would have been wonderful had he not given in to family pressure.

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Posted On Oct 13, 2022 - 04:22 PM

The only important thing I need to ask is how to have/maintain e_rection while having s_ex with wife... Is there any way?
Like many gay are married to women.. how do they maintain ***

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Posted On Oct 14, 2022 - 05:28 AM

@Rohan123rohanbo It's like a fish asking to learn how to fly. It's very simple and straightforward. DO NOT.
DO NOT marry if you aren't aroused and attracted to women!
Why do you want to ruin your and someone's life for what society may think?
I personally know many married gay men who REGRET badly wishing that they had just enough courage to not give in to family pressure.

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Posted On Oct 14, 2022 - 08:01 AM

@cute_rowdy .... But I never feel like going out to have s_ex with another men... I don't even feel like loving any another men... When I feel *** I just imagine a man fu_cking a women so I think about men at that time only....
So I want to have a life with women

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