Married men of Ohmojo: Are you happy?
Guys, many got married due to family commitments or force or own interest etc.
Just did we ask ourselves "am I happy and satisfied?"
Also did ever get a response as " yes" completely?
Let's share our views here.
Reply/Post a comment
|Displaying 101 to 150 of 180 comments.|
|Previous comments: 1 2 3 4 |
|Posted On Oct 20, 2018 - 09:53 PM|
Not at all interested in ladies and family forcing me to get marry..what to do ?
I am not gay but not at all interested in marriage and girls.
|Posted On Oct 22, 2018 - 09:37 PM|
Some men just cannot accept the fact that they were swayed into marriage by "family, responsibility or society" but it is a personal choice, forced or not. And so they don't want to admit that they made a mistake. Indeed there is the upside that afterwards there was acceptance of the situation and happiness penetrates a married couple because of having children. But hypothetically speaking, if your parents and the society didn't force you to get married, would you still marry a woman?
But the interesting question here for me and maybe connected to the subject, is if you find out your son or daughter is gay or bi, will you still forced them to marry the opposite *** knowing that you've been through the same situation?
If yes, then you as a person is not helping in changing the society to be more accepting.
|Posted On Oct 22, 2018 - 10:40 PM|
@braceboy79.. who said we didn’t do mistake of marrying a woman.. the fact is we agree 100% and really regret for it..that’s the only thing we can do now..
Answering your second question not just my kids and any of my family members comes out closest with me.. I will give fullest support to fight for them with any one..that’s for loved ones are right..
If not socially . Definitely I will fight for gay right at my home., I am sure on it
|Posted On Apr 29, 2019 - 12:09 AM|
It all depends on how understanding ur wife is...
Iam a bottom from my young age but got married and was happy but still i love to *** *** and drink their *** thogh i havent had *** *** till now...
But few days later i was caught red handed *** a guy at my home when was out but she came back and saw that...as every women would react she too was shcoked to see it...we dint talked for few days then i approached her and told ber what i like...she too understood my situation being a very loving and caring wife she accepted it and now she fingers my *** rubs my *** with carrot and cucumber and it make my *** hard and then we both have nice ***..and also when i *** her she makes me *** the carrot or her fingers and some times she too joins me and we both *** it together while i *** her....it feels awesome....
So if u are a bottom and married beat way is to see how understanding ur wife is then u can approach her in a right way
|Posted On Apr 29, 2019 - 01:39 AM|
U can try a boyfriend instead of inviting random guys. So u can tell her about him. Its good that ur wife is understanding but im damn sure she won't like to see u with a different guy every time
|Posted On Apr 29, 2019 - 03:10 AM|
Yes true but i havent asked her or even talked to her abt me having a top guy...i cant even dare to ask it..as some how she has accepted that iam bisexual..which is more than enough for me..but i cant dare to ask her about it
|Posted On Apr 30, 2019 - 07:49 AM|
After reading this thread I feel proud of myself for standing up against the societal pressure of marriage.
|Posted On Apr 30, 2019 - 08:33 AM|
Those who r purely interested in men, don't marry to girl, because of parental pressure, u will ruin ur as well as her life,
|Posted On May 2, 2019 - 05:11 PM|
I am really happy by reading these comments here..
I'm married since last 5years. I didn't had much dates before marriage. I was confused at that time. First 2 years was ok but now since last 3years I'm not interested in her at all. I'm living a tak life. Fake love fake *** fake relationship. Now I'm realized that I did big mistake. I m ruining her life as well.
I don't have lot of g friends to whom I can share my feelings and problems. I see we have lots of good ppl at this forum.
I would happy to meet you ppl so that I can share and gets the good advice. Don't inbox me for a date. Take care
|Posted On May 7, 2019 - 06:48 AM|
Good that u found a good couple...if u have a good and understanding wife u can tell her that u are gay or bisexual..but yes again depends on how loving and caring she is
|Posted On May 7, 2019 - 06:45 PM|
How would you find out if your wife is understanding enough to accept you when you tell her that you are gay. Being nice, caring and understanding under normal circumstances is totally different from being able to accept that her husband is gay.
Anyways, about myself.. I'm gay. Always have been. But couple of years back I got emotionally weak due to some reasons. At that time I got confused. I was already under pressure from family side. In my weakness I started to think that getting married was better for me. I somehow thought that I can manage it. I somehow convinced myself that I would stop being gay. But things started to fall apart soon after marriage. I realised thst it's not easy to stop being gay. Not easy to act normal. Not easy to have intimacy with wife without feeling bad or awkward or hating the whole experience.
It's been almost 2 years and somehow I've been managing. Life is going on. But not a single day goes by when I don't feel bad about my situation. When I don't regret my decision. There have been so many times that I wished to tell her the truth. But I've not been able to. I'm scared for myself. But also I'm scared for her, for my parents. About how things might go wrong if I told her.
|Posted On May 8, 2019 - 04:50 PM|
@gaysnk - the way you have written it looks like you are very upset about your decision to get married. Having made the decision, you have involved another innocent person into this. She deserves happiness and if you can’t keep her physically satisfied try to be the best husband in terms of emotional and other support. Try to see her as a friend and do other things that make her happy like maybe shopping, touring or anything that women might like. Look around 90% of gay men in India get married to women, this is more a social and cultural thing. Don’t be surprised but it’s common across all Asian cultures included progressive countries like Japan and South Korea. Remember Life is never perfect and it’s almost always unfair, our strength is in making the best of what we have instead of crying over what could have been.
|Posted On May 8, 2019 - 06:22 PM|
Thanks for your message. I understand what you are saying. And I'm already doing my best to keep her happy in as many ways as possible. However, all that cannot be a substitute for physical and emotional intimacy. Irrespective of how much i take her out for shopping or tours or dinners, at the end she still expects the intimacy. And when she comes close to me and I'm not able to respond in a normal way, that's when I feel real bad. For myself, and for her. And that's when I start to wonder if it would be better for the both of us if she knows the truth about me. In that way there would be no more need for all the hiding and acting and lying. It would make clear what we can expect from each other. Maybe it would also bring is closer.. As friends... I wonder.... Always...
|Posted On May 8, 2019 - 06:50 PM|
After my previous post, I received many messages. Thanks to all you guys for that.
I understand that most guys who are gay and married are facing the same dilemma. Some people take the risk and discuss with their spouse. Maybe some are lucky and are accepted for what they are. There are others who have just learnt to live with it and life has somehow moved on. I guess it's all a personal choice, whether you wish to take the risk or just push forward i life with what you have. :)
|Posted On May 11, 2019 - 01:23 PM|
I don't have have solution but always u can try , to know if Ur wife Is understanding n is fine u to have *** or hangout with Ur gay partner is to get her involve with some another guy sexual, as u r not interested in *** with her so if u share Ur wife with a straight or bisex guy , maybe she won't make a mess as u both will enjoy being with another guy, this way she won't say u cheated by not saying the truth before marriage all u have to say is after seeing her with another guy u developed a fantasy and first make setting with the other bisex or gay guy , as when u see Ur wife enjoying with other guy, u come with both n start foreplay with wife , n both with her n while licking her neck u both come closer n kiss each other Ur wife will be surprised or shocked but do not live her beside pull her back n kiss her , n start ruling Ur life with Ur rules, neither Ur wife will throw taunts or say u destroyed her life if u involve her in sexual acts n remember at first always involve bisex guy n not straight, n. Next time u can go on date with ny guy call any guy to Ur home n Ur wife won't mind, but the first step is most important n most sensitive to get Ur wife involve with another guy she should not come to know that u planned this all way before , other'wise she will feel like made a fool , it is filmy idea but it does include enjoying freedom from thought of (how to let know ur wife u r interested in men), I know this idea will work as I applied on 40f 46m year old couple back in 2015, but I don't know how newly wedded wife will act or react , also this idea I got from a movie
|Posted On May 18, 2019 - 08:02 PM|
One word: I would say don’t marry.
When I decided to marry I did not think at all. Even my father left us to heavenly abode and it was just me and mom. I could have decided to stay single but not sure why I did not think so. Today after 5 years when I am spiritually and humanly matured, i think it’s worst decision of my life and it’s mot like you can reverse it suddenly. Coming out of it is also not option as I have kid now. I have to live with it. But I would have been more happy if I were single. It’s not just gay aspect , the Overall repercussion of marriage has made me think like this.
|Posted On May 19, 2019 - 01:20 PM|
I am a single, 28 year old gay guy living in Chennai. One may think that my words are good as a trash, since i am not married and I have no real-life experience of being in a marriage.
To be honest, if I say 'yes' now, I can get married in a few months from now, just like the most of you. But, I am a person who had to learn everything the hard way. I had to exchange my body for every affection, love and care I got from guys. I am not trying to get anyone's sympathy here and even if I do, that is not gonna do much for the emotional burns I have.
I've been living alone for many years now. Initially, I wanted to live alone because I could meet and have a lot of *** with many guys. Guess what? I did that for few years. And there was always a part of me that longed for a committed relationship with a guy ever since I knew that I was gay (even before i knew the term 'gay'). It's a known fact that when guys finish their college studies, they move to a big city with their friends, rent a room, stay together, find jobs, enjoy life, get married one after another and they all move on with life, wife and kids. I knew none of these were gonna happen for me
because I have 0 friends from school and college. I was always the weird , studious and shy kid in school. In college, apparently i was a very not-likable guy for some reasons i don't know yet. All i remember was being caring and helpful to others, but I don't know why nobody wanted to be in touch with me after college or maybe in their side of the story, they had some valid reasons to just discard me. But, it's okay. I have learned to accept that I am not the regular guy who gets to live the normal blissful life. The whole reason, i am blabbering about all these is for two reasons. One, when I start to write, my hands act like they have their own damn brain and they just type things directly from my heart. Second, a little background about me will be bit helpful to understand what i am about to say.
I've been on PR and other gay related forums, websites for over 10 years now. There's always this question 'I am a gay. Can I get married?' or ' I am a gay bottom. Can I get married to a girl and lead a happy life?'. I usually get irritated by seeing these questions in my early 20s. But since I am in late 20s, I can feel the pain and confusion that leads someone to post a most important question/decision of their life in a forum filled with strangers. My answer would be, yes, you can get married and even have babies. But will you be happy? *** no. During my '*** phase', I have met my own share of married guys and had 'fun'. Then something happened. There I was, lying naked with a handsome bloke at night around 10pm. His phone kept ringing for a while and he would see the screen and then mute the call. It kept happening for a while and I was a bit pissed off. If you are gonna shove your tongue down my throat, do it at peace. I asked him to answer the damn call and he did. It was a quick 3 seconds call, unlike the duration our our ***. In those 30 secs, his face reaction and his angry tone revealed that it was his wife who kept on calling him, because this guy had come out of his house saying that he will be back in some time and he had not returned to home. So his concerned wife, with newborn baby, was calling him to make sure he was okay and when he would return, while this guy was playing a chapter of 'Kamasutra' with me. I confronted him and he accepted that it was his wife and their marriage was a love marriage. For a second, my mind was filled with a lot of questions. I managed to ask him a few questions, to which he replied in an uninteresting tone. I asked him to leave, because I was feeling very bad and guilty that I was sleeping with someone's husband, whose wife was calling him at night 10pm with a lot of concern. This guy didn't leave and he asked me a very beautiful question that wanted me to say 'Yes, Prince. Take me on your horse and *** me hard, uh uh uhuhhhhhhh'. He asked me, 'since we already started having ***, could we at least complete one round and then I will leave?'. I had to force him to leave.
I know I am being judgmental here and I am very far from being a good person. But if there is something good about me, then it's my guiltiness. Whenever I do a mistake, I will feel extremely guilty. I can't move on without resolving the reason that made me feel guilty in the first place. While I understand that married men are people too, with flesh and desires, I can't agree the fact that they are secretly *** guys. The same guys might feel cheated on or betrayed, if their wives did the same. So a guy can be a straight, bi or gay and get married to a woman and 'so smart' to be unfaithful behind their wives ? All because you are a guy?
There are many days I have fallen sick and couldn't even lift my fingers. I didn't have anyone to take me to hospital, clean me up, clean up after me, or even give me some water. Each and every time I get sick, my mind plays a war with my heart about me getting married. I think ' there will be at least someone who can give a glass of water, even if she hates me'. But when I get better, I feel ashamed and disgusted of me being selfish. Girls re not innocent these days. I have some girl friends, who talk openly about *** and guys. Girls these days will easily find out if you are gay or not. Then there are a few things that might happen after that. She may torture you physically and mentally for the rest of your life or shame you in front of everyone and file for a divorce or *** other guys. In all these situations, nobody is happy. In a rare case, she may understand you and live with you accepting everything about you. But there will always be a catch or something to trade.
To all the people who ask such questions and to all the men who are saying that it's ok to get married because it worked out for you, I want to say this. JUST BECAUSE SOMETHING WORKED OUT FOR YOU, IT DOESN'T MEAN THAT IT MAY WORK OUT FOR EVERYONE. I do understand that you are just sharing your life incidents and suggestions, but you will not hold the responsibility if something bad goes in someone's life who took your advice or suggestion.
I know that I may end up dying alone but I feel it's a curse to be born this way. Everyday is a drama. I am not the same person to my family, people I work with, to my friends. I have to put on a *** mask every time and I am so tired of it. I have to dance like a puppet for the strings pulled by the society. But I know I am being true to myself. I am saying Thanks to God. I am saying thanks and sorry to people from the bottom of my heart. I am trying to be honest with people. I don't want the 'real me' to die a slow painful death. People already suspect that I am gay. My parents stopped going for any wedding or functions because all the 'concerned' relatives ask about my marriage. Last time I went to my cousin's wedding and in a couple of hours, every single person I met asked me to get married soon and i am being a pardon to my family and bringing a bad name and shame to my family. What the ***? I never realized that being single in your late 20s in TN, India could be so painful. Almost all my school and college friends are married and some even have kids. Guys younger than me are married and have kids. I sued to go to my hometown every month because I love my hometown and parents. But last year, I went only thrice for the entire year. This time, I even cried my heart out to my parents not to force me into marriage and I will never be happy in a marriage. I didn't want to be born this way but I am. This is me. Just to satisfy my parents and the society, I can't ruin another human being's life in the name of marriage. Girls dream big just like us gays. I feel very sad for the guys and girls who are in these type of marriage.
I am sorry if my words were harsh, but it's the truth. We all know it.
|Posted On May 19, 2019 - 02:05 PM|
Dear lonely soul. First of all it is not so bad. Your lofe could have been much worse. Think of the transgender people. If you had to face what they do everyday I think you would have persihed long back.
If you feel so suppressed come out to the world. You have a 1000 reasons to not come out. And the instant you read this you will attack me with them. But your happiness is above all those reasons. You will face difficulty but you will be relieved.
Reach out to gay groups, counsellors and ngos in Chennai. I know of these in Mumbai but dunno about Chennai. Make gay friends throigh these avemues. You will get a lot of support and once you are with the like minded you will enjoy your life.
Yoir concern for women is laudable and i hope yoi dont marry under pressure. You and your happiness are mist important. The rest dors not matter AT ALL.
|Posted On May 19, 2019 - 02:28 PM|
@mr_lonely_soul, well said and very well articulated. Most of your words are true and is exactly what is happening in the current day. There are exceptions to everything and so is that casein few scenarios you gave too. What i feel is, married ppl who are bi enjoy *** with their wife and since they are inclined towards guys love to meet guys too. Hence they cheat on their wife. That could be the reason why they arent happy completely after marriage. But with gays who marry coz of the family pressure, they May not be happy.
Coming to you not having frnds, i presume you dont have straight friends. But you can make some very good friends among our gay community itself. It might be difficult but isnt impossible. I am an introvert, very reserved and why guy. But I now have very good gay frnds with whom i didnt even have *** once, but we catch up every week or month at least. It might take a while to find friends of our wavelength but you GOT to try from your end too.
|Posted On May 19, 2019 - 03:23 PM|
what an interesting choice of profile name. So direct. Love it :-)
The word 'dear' used to be such a dear to me long back. But the word has lost it's meaning, at least to me, due to the immense use of it in gay websites. For example, gues messaging like 'dear, will you *** my *** dear? till i *** dear?'. 'dear, will you choke me with your ***?' 'dear, *** my *** hard and don't stop even if i scream my lungs out'.
OH DEAR!!! (just kidding, maybe not) :-)
And I am not gonna attack you. I truly appreciate your concern and the time you took to response to my 'essay'.
Yes, life is not so bad ONLY by God's grace. If I have to write a book or make a tv series of my journey, it will be banned and censored in India and you have to use VPN to watch my series.
I am not saying that I had only the worst experiences, there were some good ones too. But unfortunately, most people talk about the good ones here. People don't want to talk about the bad ones, which are very common in a gay man's life in India or anywhere in the world. If i am finding 1000 reasons not to come out, I wanna find 1000 more reasons not to come out. To be honest, the world is a cruel place and have always been to some of us. And there are people who says 'don't always think negative. be positive. life is a mixture of both good and bad. enjoy every moment'. While I agree with all that, some people like me are not wired that way.
By the way, I do have 2 gay best friends for many years. One of them got married to a woman and living the hell of a life every single day. He pushed his marriage till he was 31 but he got married due to family pressure and there has not been a day he didn't regret. He cried to me a lot of times and I always try my best to support him. My another gay BFF is just like me, so we fight a lot and we are always there for each other.
There is a thing with gay friends. They are friends as long as you don't sleep with them. If you sleep with them, the friendship will fade away, at least in experience.
Again, appreciate your time and good intentions lets'not'***
|Posted On May 19, 2019 - 03:31 PM|
thanks man. Kind of you to read and respond. I am really happy that someone shy and introvert found good gay friends. And my previous answer, especially the last paragraph answers why you still have them s your friends :-)
yes. I don't have much straight friends. I have a few who is in touch with me every now and then. It's very true that straight friends are much much better and loyal than gay friends.
Look at me. Typing stuff and making my hot wings from KFC feel lonely. Isn't the cruel? Here I come KFC, you are so hot. I know how it feels like to be lonely. Let me devour you and save you from misery.
|Posted On May 19, 2019 - 07:12 PM|
Its just a name ... Its amazing how we are obsessed with judging each and everything and when the world judges us we want to commit suicide.
If you have decided and made up your mind to swim in the ocean of misery then so be it. Maybe you enjoy it. And there is nothin wrong in it.
Many of us are 'wired' to be miserable. That's your definition of happiness.
All the best .. I just want to send the message out to readers that being gay IS NOT depressing. And things are changing very fast. You would be surprised
by the levels of acceptance and tolerance witnessed in India.
|Posted On May 20, 2019 - 01:20 PM|
I find it very disrespectful when someone says they are straight but want a hole to *** or a *** to ***. I know there are takers for such men as well. If all you need is a hole and not a person then one should get a *** toy. *** workers aren't that hard to find as well. Gay and bi men should stop putting straight men as fantasy objects on the pedestal.
|Posted On May 20, 2019 - 01:37 PM|
not all r here to find soulemate with men here ;) most r here for nice wild sexual fun only. so nothing wrong in beding with straight men purely for fun either... but i never do with stright, as i dint get the kick.. that is different thing
|Posted On May 20, 2019 - 02:14 PM|
Straight men never have *** with Male....u should call them Bisexual....straight means completely heterosexual
|Posted On May 20, 2019 - 04:07 PM|
cant say bisexual as well coz they dont *** males but just enjoys some male *** and taking the juice out of them. once done they just leave. so not bisexual
|Posted On May 20, 2019 - 04:51 PM|
Ok. But to fair, I don't think a straight guy approaches gay men for sexual pleasure. They don't have the gay radar that we have. It's always the gay or bi-sexual men who fantasize about straight men and jerk off to them. While there is nothing wrong with that kinda imagination, for some people it does not stop there. They take an extra step to get their straight friends drunk, so they can be naughty with them or some try to feel their *** while they are asleep.
I am gay and always have been. I had some infatuations towards my straight friend in college and I did approach him for *** in a scared/weird way, which bit me in the *** so hard than some wild guys. I stopped myself from having crush on straight guys after that.
There is a saying that 'gay men *** better than any women because a guy knows what another guy wants'. It's mostly true.
So if you touch a straight guy in any inappropriate/no-friendly way, he is sure gonna get an ***. Duh!!! It's how the human body works.But that doesn't mean that they are 'truely' into it. It's just a moment of weakness and we gays find it so erotic and take advantage of that. There re some homophobic straight guys who doesn't like gay guys at all because either they don't know the difference between gay and transgender. According to them, gay guys are just effeminate creatures who lurks in the public toilets and peep the next guy's *** or someone who rubs their thighs in public. We can't completely deny that. There are many gay guys still do it and we have a lot of posts about those things in this website itself.
Gay *** is so weirdly delicious that many straight guys come for it again WITH A LOT OF HESITATION. But it plays a very big psychological drama for them, because until they had this experience, they were on their own path nd minding their own things. For me, it feels completely wrong to manipulate someone's sexual orientation for our own pleasure.
And I want to be clear here, I NEVER meant that being Gay itself is depressing. Everyone judges everyone based on how they speak, dress, eat etc. There is no stopping there. All I am saying is, if someone is judging me and telling me that i have a bad attitude or I love to live in the world of depression, then I wish I had some magical power to play a video of my life in their brain, so they could get an idea why I am this way. I don't mean any disrespect to anyone. Of course I find many like-minded people here, that's why I am visiting this site every day for the past few days.
Finally, there are people who personally messaged me in PR, here and some other gay websites that this is not the place to look for friendship and relationship and that people are here only to find hot guys for ***. Then where the *** should I go? Is there a Indian Gay matrimony site where I can upload my profile with a pic filled with filters? ( I can't afford dowry and I don't want it either). For the people who keeps *** messaging me about this, perhaps have an alternate solution?
Damn girls get boyfriends just by walking, talking, looking or even just by breathing. What a 28-something gay guy gotta do to find someone to go on a decent date that does not end up with a question as such 'do you have place?' hmmmmmmmmmmmm......
|Posted On May 20, 2019 - 05:19 PM|
Sexuality is a spectrum my view is very small % of population will be purely straight, pure top or pure bottom, a large majority of the population will fall somewhere in the middle of spectrum. Now why does it appear a lot more people are straight is only because of social conditioning. The movies, the family structure, the social media and other influencers from the society make us believe it’s normal to be attracted to opposite gender and abnormal to be attracted to the same gender. Add to this, there are people who bring in religious connotation and make people believe being gay or indulging in gay *** is sinful and people go to hell. Most legal systems don’t recognise gay marriages and adoption or surrogacy is tough, no one wants to die alone so most people choose what the society considers “normal”. The movies ridicule gay people and social media makes distasteful memes on gay people. All this makes people believe being “gay” is wrong and abnormal. People are scared of being judged harshly and most of the population get scared to experiment or even associate themselves with gay people. There are enough documentaries from the Animal kingdom where same *** attraction is accepted and celebrated. Animals have 5 senses so they accept and don’t judge. Personally if we remove the stigma of being gay from the society a lot more people will be willing to experience and choose the lifestyle they want to lead. Is there a change, yes all over the world including India being gay is slowly being normalised. In the next 50 years I am sure people with all types of sexuality will be accepted as a lifestyle choice (again thanks to the media and awareness). Until then we have to wait it out and try to be happy in our own little world.
|Posted On Apr 2, 2020 - 07:38 PM|
I got married when I was 26. Before marriage, I've been a happy, go lucky, charming guy. Nobody knows I'm gay. Have had lot of straight friends, among them one really close friend whom I suspect could be a gay. He's not married yet. Our family was close knit and I was pressurized for getting married to this wonderful girl when I was 26. Yes I succumbed to the social pressure.
I was straight for a couple of years since I attained puberty. I remember that vividly. I used to kiss navels of heroines in news papers and lick their breasts. Somehow I transformed to a gay. And now I'm not at all interested in women. But I thought I could become straight again after marriage just like during puberty. Stupid thought I know!
It's been 6 years since I got married. I'm mentally more matured now. Now I realize, life is hard. Really really hard. This acting, living a lie everyday and the associated guilt of not able to emotionally attach to my wife. It's hard guys. Really hard. I'm unable to tell anyone about this ordeal. Even if I watch a passionate *** scene in a movie with my wife, it gets awkward. Because I've never had passionate *** with my wife. Something seems missing and I somehow feel she is very unhappy. I can't try the other suggestions in this thread because she is a conservative Tamil girl. Off late with the quarantine in place, it has become really tough to just face her everyday.
Only thing that is distracting from the misery is kids. We have 2 kids (both formed with just one *** in the entire month). May be both of us are super fertile. Kids are wonderful. I enjoy so much with my son. He never expects anything from me. Kids are both positive as well as negative. Many a times I feel may be I should open up to my wife. But after the kids and all, it seems so unfair. And not sure how she would react.
I used to be insanely happy for no reason. I used to be super positive and used to enjoy every second of my life. But now every night is a nightmare. Every night is full of guilt. Each and every day feels awkward. I'm scared to even sleep next to my wife. Mostly I put my son in between.
I wish I was never married. I wish I had made that one guy, that lovely friend, my life partner. I wish I put myself first before my parents and society.
Guys, one last advice. If you are not happy, you cannot keep anyone happy. Neither your parents nor your family. No one. So just do only what makes you happy. DO NOT marry at any cost. Kids can be adopted or surrogate or anything could be done. But if you get married, you spoil your wife's life. The guilt will take over. You'll get tired of all that acting. And ultimately you'll spoil your life so badly that you can never come out of it. Watch Agal Bagal 2 in Youtube. I wish I lived that way. It feels like I've hit some dead end in my life. So sorry for what I did! So sorry to my lovely wife. Really really sorry!!
Pls message me on how I can deal with this. Thanks in advance!
|Posted On Apr 3, 2020 - 02:37 AM|
I'm single and 26 from a decent family
Don't know why I'm exploring here in this chat section, but I have to.
Many of us have faced the same problem that parents gonna force you for a marriage, start looking for girls as their all friends n relatives have married and kids too. So why you are single yet
Sometimes I also feel like wish I could get married but main problem is I'm not gonna be happy physically as everyone have theory needs so do I. I don't feel ashamed of what I'm now.
I love woman and men too. And it's okay and normal as we have choice.
I see personal blogs of couples who have married.
Men as well as who are married they are having *** outside a relationship, marriages. They live normal life as well as enjoy outside but one day if you get caught it will screw your relationship as in indian cultural everyone knows here what's gonna happen. I see couples ( rich and high profile) are having a good understanding that they can't make their partners happy so with their mutual consent there are having fun with third person involved. This is very rare that your partner should feel the same way the way you feel. He/she should accept you/life the way it is.
I do feel like *** is also a man and woman's needs that has to be fulfilled by himself. He/she has a right to sleep with someone as per his/her wish.
At a point of this life, I'm still confused about taking decisions about my life and parents needs
It's difficult to choose one thing.sometimes I feel like right and wrong too.
Then I be relaxe and I see what I wanted in my life and trying to compromises things for both like living a fully straight life and outside chatting with gay people, having mentally/physical relationships with them.dont know where it's gonna end!!
I'm always been a loner person. Just work and home, rarely hanging out with friends.feel lonely sometimes. Can't be open to anyone as many of them will take advantage or trustworthy.
In my college days I was open to my close best friends that I'm bisexual. They had idea about me that he is not straight. They accepted me and everything was normal as I never did any hanky panky stuff with them. I never looked at them by getting physical. It feels really great when someone accept you the way you are. You are like a free bird to go anywhere, do whatever you want.
At this point of my life, I've seen things change in a moment. You plan for a thing all your life, but only one small bad phase changes your whole life and desires. Nothing works your way.this is life
My parents knows about my sexuality as I've told them I like boys and girls too. It is a difficult thing to explain.specially for them to understand as they're seeing this for first time in 50 yrs or more.
"I've done many mistakes, took many decisions in my life, some were good and some bad. I'm completely responsible for my life ❤️. Just want to tell you , if you feel the same way like confused about your sexually, go out talk to people, read blogs on internet , watch their videos in same field, take suggestions But You ALWAYS TAKE YOUR DECISION IF LAST, DONT TAKE YOUR DECISION AS SOMEONE IS TELLING YOU. Do What is good for your rest of life. You have your family behind it. One wrong DECISION may change your full life, and it will impact on your family too.
|Posted On Apr 3, 2020 - 02:50 AM|
As I'm bisexual I can make man and woman happy. if tomorrow I'm getting married..my life will be obviously good .but I'm gonna miss many things. I've to compromise in my life
Like watching gay ***, getting closer to other men/woman emotionally or physically. What I'll miss is a man in my life. For sexual pleasures I need a man too. I can't just happy with woman. Without a 'man' life will be too difficult to live.
*Life will work best if I get a partner who is open for anything. Like we will live in a relationship, together, get married and both can enjoy outside physically to fulfill our needs. In the last we gonna be together, families will be happy, everything will be perfect . But finding a partner like this seems a most difficult task in the world. Once you achieve it , you gonna live a full happy and satisfied living life*"
|Posted On Apr 3, 2020 - 11:50 AM|
Could someone explain to me what your loving family would do if you just said "No" to marriage?
|Posted On Apr 3, 2020 - 05:21 PM|
It depends on family to family... how liberal they are!
Well.... I’m 28 years old and my parents tell me to find a girl and get married but I always say No and I also say when its going to happen it will happen....
Then they don’t say much about it but once in a while they say later will be too late.
End of the story :)
|Posted On Apr 4, 2020 - 02:40 AM|
@Daniel_M1900, thank you for your response but it doesn't answer my question: what would a family do if you just said "No"?
|Posted On Apr 4, 2020 - 03:18 AM|
Its just a matter of choice. Gay relationships are not very successful and not for everyone it is easy to say No to their families. Understand everyone is different with different mentalities in the world and you never know what those men have gone through since their childhood. It is very easy to criticize married men but if you really love each other I dont think there should be a matter of discussion as the man who is grilled between two knows what he goes through. So love birds just keep loving and dont overthink if a man is married or not. May be u came in his life after he got married,maybe he never found you until he had to compromise with other situation.
Guys understand each other. Nothing is impossible. Love can handle everything.
So just chill.
|Posted On Apr 4, 2020 - 03:22 AM|
What a wonderful thought @Dare2date :)... I am a married man and I too believe love can handle everything.
|Posted On Apr 4, 2020 - 06:49 AM|
Like I said they don't pressurize me much.... they say later will be too late
You're absolutely correct.... Understanding is the key for healthy relationships.......
I wouldn't mind a relationship with married man but at the same time he will have many commitments towards his family which single guy will might feel that he is not able to give much time to their relation....
|Posted On Apr 4, 2020 - 07:34 AM|
@C4LEB, - this has been said many times, yet again I will try to answer. Indian society is very rigid with families are very much influenced by what others think/do. Once their kid attains a marriageable age , they immediately start seeking hand in marriage. I have known many families despite knowing their wards orientation have gone ahead wit straight marriage ,thinking that "everything will be fixed" soon after or when a child is born. There are instances of threat of suicide, domestic harassment and all sort of nonsense that takes place.
Kids in indian society unlike the western are more attached to parents as they are taught so. It's a good way to teach values and culture to your kids but whn it comes to certain life decisions, you need be ready to let go of certain things. You can either try to educate your parents or you will have to fight them. Saying No isn't easy for predominant guys, they just succumb. Also they are threatened by close relatives as well. Asked questions about what will happen after your parents pass away. Who will take of you.. etc etc for very long. Frustration leads to a accepting what you don't like.
As for Vinay, I am sorry dude for what you are going thro. You made that decision to get into this mess and you have to live with it. There will be consquences if want to get out of this.
1. Try talking to your wife about how you feel about your relationship and see if she can sense your thoughts. If she is educated enough to understand she may help you to ease the pain. But if she isn't, then that's an dead end.
2. Making 2 kids?? Dude seriously you should have thought about that. Something that was under your control. You have just pushed yourself into deeper ***!!! You could have walked out of the relationship much easily with a legal separation if you'd not had kids!! How could you even do this and now you feel sorry and guilty about it!!.
All said and done, your feelings for another man will haunt you.. that's for sure trust me!! I am very sorry to hear about your life but unfortunately there is nothing that you can do.
|Posted On Apr 4, 2020 - 07:56 AM|
Yes I am happy..
Intially (the days where I never had a sexual experience), I used to think that I want to get married and have kids.
But somehow deeper in my thoughts I wanted to have a male companion, which I did not know at that time.
But time passed by, before I had any sexual experience with any woman, I had an experience with a man. Though I enjoyed well, I was not feeling good about it after the enjoyment as my mind was not accepting the fact that I wanted a male companion. I spent many bothering thoughts with it and after that finally I accepted that I am a gay. I enjoyed with many men.
But at the same time I wanted to have a marriage and have kids. So I have got married and with the love that my wife show to me I have got completely became a family man and all the male companion thoughts were suppressed in me.
But now I came to a situation that I started enjoying both the lives.
I show my love to my wife and making out with her
And whenever I get a chance or place I will go make it out with any of my male friedns..
Some may say that I am cheating on my wife. But there is not even a single incident where I have neglected her and she is my most priority.
But to satisfy my sexual desires I am having with other male.
So I am very much satisfied in both the parts of my life.
|Posted On Apr 4, 2020 - 10:00 AM|
@kumar, I share your thoughts.
|Posted On Apr 5, 2020 - 02:19 AM|
I'm not criticizing you , but just wanted to know things and discuss, others can share thoughts about it too
When you get married you and your partner are getting committed to each other. Having fun outside a relationship is just one person's mutual things.one day if your wife or kids come to know that you are having fun with male too, as we live in society , mostly it doesn't affect us but it affects our families, like wife will say my husband is gay, he sleeps with man, kids will think my father is gay, the worst thing will be acceptance and society.
No woman will accept that her husband is sleeping with third woman and we are doing with man that will be worst case. Nobody gonna accept you. Relation with kids , wife may spoil and it will end up with worst phase of your life.
If society comes to know that you are gay, main problem is your kids and wife will suffer more as all of them will being tease , tortured in schools and mostly everywhere.
I've seen many young gay boys are tortured, abused in school as everyone blames them, molested, look at them as a *** material in schools. Changing people's mentally or dealing with it is most difficult part .
I don't want to hurt your feelings but Ive seen worst cases , wanted to know n still learn more, so everyone please share your beautiful thoughts on this
|Posted On Apr 5, 2020 - 12:24 PM|
I understand @shank but it us upto you how to go with your life. You should make it utmost discreet.
Believe me the persons who I met are 50+ aged guys (that is my choice) and none of them gets exposed to outer world even though they are with other males for last 25-30 years.
It depends on us. When we live in a family life, we should not cross that line. We should always below that line when come to other relations so life will become easy.
Don't ever give a chance or don't ever do a thing which expose you as a gay to outside env..
|Posted On Jan 1, 2022 - 01:45 PM|
From my experience...most of the bi guys I meet are not happy atall.
They are torn apart between their sexual orientation.
But I only make sure when they leave the room they leave with a smile of satisfaction
|Posted On Jan 2, 2022 - 04:43 AM|
umm I'm sorry but @top28sugarbabe i don't think bisexual people need to choose between men and women. bring attracted to both genders is natural and happens to people. accept it and move on please.
|Posted On Sep 20, 2022 - 05:59 AM|
I am married since last year and I am not happy. I am realising that I made a big mistake due to family pressure. But I want to take the whole responsibility on me now. Still now, I am loyal to my partner but sometimes I feel very unhappy inside.it seems I don’t know myself and my entire world got changed. What’s your advice to balance my life?
|Posted On Sep 20, 2022 - 06:21 AM|
I know dearzindagi it's hard to balance but it doesn't mean u hurt her who is with u
|Posted On Sep 20, 2022 - 06:30 AM|
@dearzindagi, if you are able to keep her happy and at the same time you too are happy, then just give yourself some time, take a break from these app and gay life, you will lead a good life.
But if you feel you are not happy, then since it's not too late (i may sound harsh) it's better you take a divorce for betterment of both of you, or else going further you will create mess of two lives
|Posted On Sep 20, 2022 - 07:07 AM|
@karanthakkar actually I just created this profile today . I am detached from gay networking sites for last 2 years.
How you guys motivate yourself when you are down with your own world! It’s not about family, I am asking about your own soul.
By the way I think she is happy 😊
|Posted On Sep 20, 2022 - 07:31 AM|
@Dearzindegi just make urself busy, in your free time i suggest you go out with your wife or spend quality time along with her, or may be do some new fantasy stuff like being nude for the day, cooking nude or watch some romantic movies that involves *** scenes, things like this will make you involved and stay loyal with your partner, this way i think you can cope up and balance your life
|Posted On Sep 20, 2022 - 09:00 AM|
I am married for many many years... I would suggest that you break your marriage.. You are unhappy & over the period of time you will make many people unhappy. Your marriage is still fresh, the number of people that will get hurt are less. Get out of the marriage.
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