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"Side" - Being side and beyond convention

Submitted by shapeoflove Location: All India (All India, India)

It looks like position plays a vital role in the gay world. People generally define themselves as either top, bottom or versatile. Also, the versatile is further bifurcated into vers top and vers bottom. But in all these positions we can find one thing as common i.e. involvement of *** ***. But what about someone who isn't interested in *** *** at all? Do we have a name for that? Guess what? We have and it's called 'side'. So, people who don't know what side is then, here is a simple definition of this term:-

โ€ขA homosexual male who does not enjoy *** penetration (giving or receiving), but will engage in other forms of same *** activity (fellatio, frottage, mutual masturbation, etc).

Now, although i didn't know about this term untill very recently, i felt a sudden connection and familiarity the moment i learned about it. Also, i have a feeling that many other guys may also find this term equally familiar as i do. So, i really wanna know that how many of you guys knew about it and do you think that dating apps and sites should have an option of mentioning this term in our profile, just as we can mention top, bottom and versatile? Please share your views.

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Displaying 1 to 41 of 41 comments.

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Posted On Jul 25, 2021 - 03:21 PM

Yes there must be

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Posted On Jul 25, 2021 - 03:32 PM

I think it's a relatively new term compared to the traditional top/bottom/vers. I also learnt about it quite recently. But yes it always feels good to be able to name your preference. Makes it easier.
I mean I would definitely feel more comfortable if I felt a certain way and there was a quick term for me to express my preference instead of me saying no anals etc etc.
Dating apps should definitely include this term though. I don't think any of the popular ones have accounted for sides. But here the problem is that a lot of people don't know about this. So it'll be a slow learning curve but great eventually.

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Posted On Jul 25, 2021 - 06:00 PM

Yes, definitely. I used to be always confused about how to explain my sexual choices to a potential partner. Also used to feel like this is not normal and for being gay, I must involve myself in *** ***, even if I don't like it.
I heard the term for the first time in a video from Nakshatra Bagwe and then only I understood that I'm not alone.
But now also, when I say to someone that I'm side, most of the Times I also need to describe what a side is. So I think including that term to the list will definitely help spreading an awareness regarding this sexual preference.

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Posted On Jul 25, 2021 - 06:04 PM

Wow @shapeofLove thanks for sharing! I like most of the people here was not aware of it. This defines me perfectly! I love all the things that you mentioned but strictly not into ***. Hope there are more sides out there. My favorite sexual acts are frottage, *** docking, grinding and such stuff.

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Posted On Jul 25, 2021 - 06:23 PM

Thanks I was not knowing the term am definitely side one who is not in in *** at all

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Posted On Jul 25, 2021 - 06:28 PM

ibelong to that. thanks for new word..

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Posted On Jul 25, 2021 - 07:05 PM

@shapeoflove thanks for this. I didn't have the slightest idea this existed. It's going to take some time to catch on to gain popularity & usability, but sure is good to know! I guess the general question of "how are you a bottom if you don't get f*cked" will eventually disappear with this catching on!

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Posted On Jul 25, 2021 - 07:09 PM

Well thanks for telling me this one. Now I can proudly say that I am a SIDE. ๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜€

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Posted On Jul 25, 2021 - 07:11 PM

I'm relieved to see so many on here who are of the same thought process. For years I was made to feel like an inadequate bottom! Reassuring indeed!

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Posted On Jul 25, 2021 - 07:21 PM

Informative, thanx!

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Indian frot
Posted On Jul 25, 2021 - 07:57 PM

Very true, I prefer to have more soft core fun, kissing smooching romance cuddling with body play frottage and docking and docking, not interested in *** and getting ***, new to eat that name called "side"

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ChubbyGirlyBotm *
Posted On Jul 26, 2021 - 02:12 AM

I m side too , had lot of problems explaining it

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Posted On Jul 26, 2021 - 05:43 AM

Another side here:)

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Posted On Jul 26, 2021 - 05:55 AM

I'm also a side here.

Thank you for spreading this.

I'm already aware of the term "Side"

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Posted On Jul 26, 2021 - 11:45 AM

Finally someone said it !!! Proudly a Side !!!

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Posted On Jul 26, 2021 - 12:31 PM

Side here from Chennai. Once I told somebody in Chat I was 'Side'... He told I can F**k you from side also...haha ...I gave up :-).

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Posted On Jul 26, 2021 - 12:37 PM

Definitely social platform should have this term as this defines ones role. Thanks for enriching my knowledge heard it for the first time

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Posted On Jul 26, 2021 - 01:30 PM

So I am a 'side'. Cool :)

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Posted On Jul 26, 2021 - 05:36 PM

I wasn't aware of this terminology. If it's initiated & accepted universally then very nice.

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Posted On Jul 26, 2021 - 09:30 PM

I am also SIDE๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿ˜…

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Posted On Jul 27, 2021 - 03:25 AM

I was thinking it is called as soft core fun whereas hard core involves *** penetration but good to know that mew term 'Side'

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Posted On Jul 27, 2021 - 03:47 AM

These days it seems everyone wants to *** or get ***. Good to know this community exists.

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Posted On Jul 27, 2021 - 03:50 AM

Yes, this terminology is very simple, instead narrating big explanation that I don't do or like nal ***, I used to say vers/top. But this "side" very apt terminology, will soon catch up as universal term

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Posted On Jul 27, 2021 - 04:15 AM

An old article for more insight on this term.

Link: https://www.google.com/amp/s/m.huffpost.com/us/entry/3082484/amp

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Posted On Jul 27, 2021 - 04:17 AM

Definition: https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Side

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Posted On Jul 27, 2021 - 04:34 AM

Interesting. So what about someone who doesn't like penetration (giving or receiving) and also loves *** but doesn't like to be ***. But enjoys all other things like kissing and foreplay. Is their a term for that?

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Posted On Jul 27, 2021 - 04:35 AM

ooh.. its totally a new information for me.. never heard about it.. but yes, could see this meaning while googling.. good there is a work which denotes "no ***". Thanks for the info.

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Posted On Jul 27, 2021 - 05:06 AM

There are so many elements to our sexuality.. Its so beautiful.. I am a Side in as much as I don't like *** (giving or receiving) with ***.. but i love being fingered deep with partners fingers or a dildo or massager.. Now am i a confused Side :-)

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Posted On Jul 27, 2021 - 08:22 AM

i'm SIDE too

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fifty *
Posted On Jul 27, 2021 - 10:08 AM

I didn't know about this term. Good to know it. Till now I am a side . Few attempts at taking *** were too painful for me and I also feel that I should engage in *** intercourse only with someone who I feel is special for me.

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Posted On Jul 27, 2021 - 12:04 PM

Iโ€™m a side too

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Posted On Jul 28, 2021 - 05:23 AM

as per my view me also like side most of the times bcos for anals its depend on the partners way of thinking in anals *** .

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Posted On Jul 28, 2021 - 05:48 PM

Wow. Thanks for sharing name of this category to which i belong. I dont prefer ***, and love getting handjob and blowjob, frottage and docking. mutual masturbation and foreplay. I thought verstop was name till now, as some of the guys calling themselves versatile often dont like ***. Guess I am a side.

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Posted On Jul 28, 2021 - 07:33 PM

I am dont prefer *** penetration. But like to rim and get rimmed.. am I a side?

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Posted On Jul 29, 2021 - 10:58 AM

m also side ithink, i love getting *** n rimm

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Posted On Jul 31, 2021 - 09:05 PM


so am i a "side" too

have been *** by guys, *** guys....lots of nude play n kissing too....never *** till date....

thanks for this term....

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Posted On Aug 1, 2021 - 02:04 AM

Oh My God.......this is such a relief......thank you so much @shapeoflove for writing this post. I have always been thinking how come there's no term for what I like......but side is exactly what I enjoy.....great to know that I am not alone here with similar interest as I do not like *** at all.

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Posted On Aug 2, 2021 - 09:28 AM

Quite an interesting post .. have been rejected so many times as I donโ€™t get *** nor I do ***

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Posted On Aug 11, 2021 - 06:34 AM

hell yeah!!

I ve been sick n tired of telling people I am not into top bottom thing at all! I ve used the term side to either annoy or confuse people but its a huge relief to see so many people identifying with the term. Being a side is so much fun seriously!

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Daydream *
Posted On Sep 20, 2021 - 04:29 PM

Feeling so powerful!! Reading posts here has made me feel so much better!!

I was blaming myself for all those relationships that did not work out for me; only because I never could bring myself to have penetrative ***. I do enjoy oral *** a lot but men I date arenโ€™t always compliant without *** ***โ€ฆ

Iโ€™m so glad to hear I am not the only one!!

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Posted On Sep 23, 2021 - 06:56 PM

No idea where i stand. Till then..no anals for me.