"Side" - Being side and beyond convention

It looks like position plays a vital role in the gay world. People generally define themselves as either top, bottom or versatile. Also, the versatile is further bifurcated into vers top and vers bottom. But in all these positions we can find one thing as common i.e. involvement of *** ***. But what about someone who isn't interested in *** *** at all? Do we have a name for that? Guess what? We have and it's called 'side'. So, people who don't know what side is then, here is a simple definition of this term:-

•A homosexual male who does not enjoy *** penetration (giving or receiving), but will engage in other forms of same *** activity (fellatio, frottage, mutual masturbation, etc).

Now, although i didn't know about this term untill very recently, i felt a sudden connection and familiarity the moment i learned about it. Also, i have a feeling that many other guys may also find this term equally familiar as i do. So, i really wanna know that how many of you guys knew about it and do you think that dating apps and sites should have an option of mentioning this term in our profile, just as we can mention top, bottom and versatile? Please share your views.

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Displaying 1 to 50 of 105 comments.
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No Picture Kunaldeshmuk	Posted On Jul 25, 2021 Yes there must be
No Picture caediumn *	Posted On Jul 25, 2021 I think it's a relatively new term compared to the traditional top/bottom/vers. I also learnt about it quite recently. But yes it always feels good to be able to name your preference. Makes it easier. I mean I would definitely feel more comfortable if I felt a certain way and there was a quick term for me to express my preference instead of me saying no anals etc etc. Dating apps should definitely include this term though. I don't think any of the popular ones have accounted for sides. But here the problem is that a lot of people don't know about this. So it'll be a slow learning curve but great eventually.
No Picture Coolbisu91	Posted On Jul 25, 2021 Yes, definitely. I used to be always confused about how to explain my sexual choices to a potential partner. Also used to feel like this is not normal and for being gay, I must involve myself in *** ***, even if I don't like it. I heard the term for the first time in a video from Nakshatra Bagwe and then only I understood that I'm not alone. But now also, when I say to someone that I'm side, most of the Times I also need to describe what a side is. So I think including that term to the list will definitely help spreading an awareness regarding this sexual preference.
No Picture foradventure	Posted On Jul 25, 2021 Wow @shapeofLove thanks for sharing! I like most of the people here was not aware of it. This defines me perfectly! I love all the things that you mentioned but strictly not into ***. Hope there are more sides out there. My favorite sexual acts are frottage, *** docking, grinding and such stuff.
No Picture Pundaregan7	Posted On Jul 25, 2021 Thanks I was not knowing the term am definitely side one who is not in in *** at all
No Picture Level1	Posted On Jul 25, 2021 ibelong to that. thanks for new word..
No Picture Stopgap	Posted On Jul 25, 2021 @shapeoflove thanks for this. I didn't have the slightest idea this existed. It's going to take some time to catch on to gain popularity & usability, but sure is good to know! I guess the general question of "how are you a bottom if you don't get f*cked" will eventually disappear with this catching on!
No Picture Shivamsharma	Posted On Jul 25, 2021 Well thanks for telling me this one. Now I can proudly say that I am a SIDE. 😀😀
No Picture Stopgap	Posted On Jul 25, 2021 I'm relieved to see so many on here who are of the same thought process. For years I was made to feel like an inadequate bottom! Reassuring indeed!
Araj	Posted On Jul 25, 2021 Informative, thanx!
No Picture Indian frot	Posted On Jul 25, 2021 Very true, I prefer to have more soft core fun, kissing smooching romance cuddling with body play frottage and docking and docking, not interested in *** and getting ***, new to eat that name called "side"
No Picture ChubbyGirlyBotm	Posted On Jul 26, 2021 I m side too , had lot of problems explaining it
No Picture ToBeFreeinLyf	Posted On Jul 26, 2021 Another side here:)
No Picture Neelan122	Posted On Jul 26, 2021 I'm also a side here. Thank you for spreading this. I'm already aware of the term "Side"
No Picture Sinner	Posted On Jul 26, 2021 Finally someone said it !!! Proudly a Side !!!
No Picture johnnyscorpioid	Posted On Jul 26, 2021 Side here from Chennai. Once I told somebody in Chat I was 'Side'... He told I can F**k you from side also...haha ...I gave up :-).
No Picture Prataptomar	Posted On Jul 26, 2021 Definitely social platform should have this term as this defines ones role. Thanks for enriching my knowledge heard it for the first time
No Picture sunil1990	Posted On Jul 26, 2021 So I am a 'side'. Cool :)
No Picture Jolly4love	Posted On Jul 26, 2021 I wasn't aware of this terminology. If it's initiated & accepted universally then very nice.
No Picture Loro	Posted On Jul 26, 2021 I am also SIDE😘👌😅😅
No Picture neem98	Posted On Jul 27, 2021 I was thinking it is called as soft core fun whereas hard core involves *** penetration but good to know that mew term 'Side'
No Picture nayaladka	Posted On Jul 27, 2021 These days it seems everyone wants to *** or get ***. Good to know this community exists.
No Picture tonguetwist	Posted On Jul 27, 2021 Yes, this terminology is very simple, instead narrating big explanation that I don't do or like nal ***, I used to say vers/top. But this "side" very apt terminology, will soon catch up as universal term
No Picture BoobyBear	Posted On Jul 27, 2021 An old article for more insight on this term. Link: https://www.google.com/amp/s/m.huffpost.com/us/entry/3082484/amp
No Picture BoobyBear	Posted On Jul 27, 2021 Definition: https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Side
No Picture TamaRai	Posted On Jul 27, 2021 Interesting. So what about someone who doesn't like penetration (giving or receiving) and also loves *** but doesn't like to be ***. But enjoys all other things like kissing and foreplay. Is their a term for that?
No Picture dingdong	Posted On Jul 27, 2021 ooh.. its totally a new information for me.. never heard about it.. but yes, could see this meaning while googling.. good there is a work which denotes "no ***". Thanks for the info.
No Picture skilledmate	Posted On Jul 27, 2021 There are so many elements to our sexuality.. Its so beautiful.. I am a Side in as much as I don't like *** (giving or receiving) with ***.. but i love being fingered deep with partners fingers or a dildo or massager.. Now am i a confused Side :-)
No Picture dileep_guru	Posted On Jul 27, 2021 i'm SIDE too
fifty	Posted On Jul 27, 2021 I didn't know about this term. Good to know it. Till now I am a side . Few attempts at taking *** were too painful for me and I also feel that I should engage in *** intercourse only with someone who I feel is special for me.
No Picture Dsrimojo	Posted On Jul 27, 2021 I’m a side too
No Picture rohit_coolfrd	Posted On Jul 28, 2021 as per my view me also like side most of the times bcos for anals its depend on the partners way of thinking in anals *** .
No Picture Jeanebad *	Posted On Jul 28, 2021 Wow. Thanks for sharing name of this category to which i belong. I dont prefer ***, and love getting handjob and blowjob, frottage and docking. mutual masturbation and foreplay. I thought verstop was name till now, as some of the guys calling themselves versatile often dont like ***. Guess I am a side.
No Picture Rahulsam	Posted On Jul 28, 2021 I am dont prefer *** penetration. But like to rim and get rimmed.. am I a side?
No Picture Jeri69	Posted On Jul 29, 2021 m also side ithink, i love getting *** n rimm
No Picture CasualFunOnly	Posted On Jul 31, 2021 wow...interesting so am i a "side" too have been *** by guys, *** guys....lots of nude play n kissing too....never *** till date.... thanks for this term....
No Picture hotlund	Posted On Aug 1, 2021 Oh My God.......this is such a relief......thank you so much @shapeoflove for writing this post. I have always been thinking how come there's no term for what I like......but side is exactly what I enjoy.....great to know that I am not alone here with similar interest as I do not like *** at all.
No Picture Ayush911	Posted On Aug 2, 2021 Quite an interesting post .. have been rejected so many times as I don’t get *** nor I do ***
No Picture kissses	Posted On Aug 11, 2021 hell yeah!! I ve been sick n tired of telling people I am not into top bottom thing at all! I ve used the term side to either annoy or confuse people but its a huge relief to see so many people identifying with the term. Being a side is so much fun seriously!
No Picture Daydream	Posted On Sep 20, 2021 Feeling so powerful!! Reading posts here has made me feel so much better!! I was blaming myself for all those relationships that did not work out for me; only because I never could bring myself to have penetrative ***. I do enjoy oral *** a lot but men I date aren’t always compliant without *** ***… I’m so glad to hear I am not the only one!!
No Picture Cool1256	Posted On Sep 26, 2021 Actually, *** means penetration...where it does not matter... But *** has limitations and not give s full occupied satisfaction... Only two ways remains... Where this happens... So my view is to hv penetration.. For Sexual act... Side does not hv any meaning.. May be for new comer To attract him... To prepare him for further... However.. Let enjoy And prepare him...
No Picture jaidesai	Posted On Sep 26, 2021 there is a term called 'VANILLA ***'' for people who do not like to engage in ***. lets not add more terms and make the gay scene more complex.
No Picture honey_bunny	Posted On Sep 26, 2021 So far, I was confused as I don't prefer *** at all. I don't like to penetrate nor get penetrated. I enjoy all forelays though. Fond of deep kissing and ***. Now I can definitely identity myself as a person who belongs to Vanilla ***. All these while I was not sure whether I was a top or a versatile or a bottom.
No Picture Stopgap	Posted On Sep 26, 2021 For the record "Vanilla ***" has nothing to do with sexual preferences. Infact, Vanilla *** usually doesn't explore the edges of people's comfort zones the way kinky *** might. That's the difference, so before throwing random terms out there, it's better to understand the logic& rationale behind it. Now, whoever claims that sexual pleasure can only be derived via penetration, that's proof enough that they haven't even scratched the surface of self pleasure. That said, being SIDE is a choice & one only the person who is a SIDE can make. I'm glad there are less narrow minded people out there who are open to accepting people with their sexual choices! For the rest, who can't... It's time you all learnt to live& let live!!
No Picture caediumn *	Posted On Sep 26, 2021 Thanks @Stopgap much needed. Too many people are misguided here about that. But yeah for someone *** is however they feel comfortable to express themselves sexually and feel aroused. Anything can be sexual if it arouses you ;) Explore and find what feels right for you. There are countless sexual activities that you can perform and that could give you an orgasm that dont involve any form of penetration. Its all a matter of how turned on you are! And honestly *** isnt even about just the orgasm. You could not orgasm and still have a lot of fun!
No Picture Sunny5b9ku	Posted On Sep 27, 2021 I can very much relate to this thread, all that confusion and misinterpretation
CluelessHubby	Posted On Sep 27, 2021 Vanilla is only an expression to describe the mundane and banal. (Vanilla was the most cheaply produced and available flavour hence the monicker). I have no qualms in admitting I'm a vanilla guy- as a risk averse person, my sense of adventure doesn't cross into my bed much. Vanilla.*** can pretty much range from only sh#gging to missionary to plain orals with no scope for the 64 positions or BDSM. Vanilla doesn't automatically cross out ***. You can do anals yet be in the vanilla zone. Being a side, which I am, is about using your anus solely in factory setting mode. 😊
No Picture Anonymous 2017	Posted On Sep 27, 2021 👍🏻Thanks @shapeoflove : for making guys aware of a very useful word that describes the sexual orientation of androphilia more clearly🥰😘 @johnnyscorpioid : LOL 🤣🤣🤣 Hope this word becomes popular soon amongst the gay community.... So that if someone whispers in a crowd 👉🏻 "Side please".... Gays would understand his preference 😜.... And he would move away amidst the crowd without sounding stange 😅😂
No Picture Raghubam	Posted On Nov 9, 2021 Very well discussed, informative and relatable comments/Post/Topic. I think I am into these acts. And I would love to meet a "Side" bottom. If some bottom thinks our likes, preferences and thoughts are matching (by going through my profile) please DM me.
No Picture homo_versa	Posted On Nov 9, 2021 thanks for the term 'side'. i was Side bcoz my frst bottom exp was very painful indeed. being top can be hard if bottom is not experienced or just tense. so i was more like 'bottom-Side' lol
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