"Side" - Being side and beyond convention

It looks like position plays a vital role in the gay world. People generally define themselves as either top, bottom or versatile. Also, the versatile is further bifurcated into vers top and vers bottom. But in all these positions we can find one thing as common i.e. involvement of *** ***. But what about someone who isn't interested in *** *** at all? Do we have a name for that? Guess what? We have and it's called 'side'. So, people who don't know what side is then, here is a simple definition of this term:-

•A homosexual male who does not enjoy *** penetration (giving or receiving), but will engage in other forms of same *** activity (fellatio, frottage, mutual masturbation, etc).

Now, although i didn't know about this term untill very recently, i felt a sudden connection and familiarity the moment i learned about it. Also, i have a feeling that many other guys may also find this term equally familiar as i do. So, i really wanna know that how many of you guys knew about it and do you think that dating apps and sites should have an option of mentioning this term in our profile, just as we can mention top, bottom and versatile? Please share your views.

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No Picture Rajchauhan07	Posted On Jan 5, 2022 I always thought there's something wrong with me or my choices are unclear..but now that ik this common..its kindaa relief... Its clear that i am side
No Picture kingofdesire56	Posted On Mar 19, 2022 I have actually never met someone who was of this dispensation. It's genuinely feels like this is some sort of Facade ? I mean don't take me wrong. I would say I would fall into this category, but I didn't know there was a term for this, much less there are others who existed. Can India have such people who fall into this category. No offense, I'm just kidding.
No Picture coolsooraj	Posted On May 16, 2022 Oh yeah. Gay community is so rigid that there are only 3 things you could be T, B and V. Sides are the real people and I am lucky to be one of them. We are pure and our *** is based on equality. There is no distinction between 2 men engaging in *** as sides.
No Picture ToBeFreeinLyf	Posted On May 16, 2022 True that:))
No Picture Stopgap *	Posted On May 17, 2022 I think the term "SIDE" is still largely vague & unknown. It's still fixated on the top, bottom, vers& questions like what do you do is still very existent. I'm glad there's a gradual transition to coz with dating apps now including a position as "side" on there.
No Picture Lips4hugepoles	Posted On May 17, 2022 So do sides have further classification? Like side giver, side receiver? I mean let's say I only like to give bj but not receive them
No Picture Stopgap *	Posted On May 17, 2022 I don't think Side has further classifications. It's just clear communication on what works& doesn't that would probably be the only way out there.
No Picture dals	Posted On Jul 23, 2022 Thanks a lot for this -a new addition to my knowledge bout my own desire .God bless you
No Picture ***	Posted On Aug 21, 2022 Long time back I read a very good observation- "There is difference between ejaculation and orgasm". In men, it overlaps so many cannot differentiate. I agree. Keep reading, you will get the context too. Penetrative is messy, accidents happen. Bottoms have to prepare well for ***. Tops, if they are good, know they have spend time to prepare a bottom to ***. It is said that your first experience , whether good or bad, influences your notion of sexual experience. Your first few sexual partners will teach and give you experiences that affect the way to handle ***. This applies to both tops, bottoms and in-between. Many time either because lack of interest, unpreparedness, previous experiences, performance anxiety, fear, anticipation of pain, inability to relax, fear of STDs people try to avoid penetrative ***. But they still yearn for intimacy, orgasm, physical touch, the pleasure of being someone... and this leads to SIDE. Sometimes I may pick someone who is good enough for blowing me off but I don't want to *** him... does that make me occasional/situational side? What happens to someone who is kinky and gets their rocks off with their fetishes... do they classify as SIDE too?
No Picture amoldesai2011	Posted On Aug 21, 2022 to my mind Side is essentially a combination of all types or something totally asexual.People like me yearn for an Intellectual Orgasm and im quite sure that depending on my mood I'd engage in everything except getting my *** ***. Does that make me a 'Side"...not sure?! but yes, more than the label its what gives one pleasure and happiness. Ive also known guys who may not engage in any penetrative/ oral *** but just be contended with kissing and cuddling their partner...are they "Side y" not sure:)
No Picture warm_sins7	Posted On Aug 22, 2022 Omffg. thanks for bringing this up, I was literally waiting for this, very important to people like me who is Gay, a Side when comes to ***. I'm Single and ready to mingle, dates and relationship and Love ❣️🏳️‍🌈 Cute, Kind and Funny Sides hit me up, I'm from Bangalore..🤠 I'm also ok with long-distance initially.
No Picture Abcdguy	Posted On Aug 22, 2022 Good to learn this term. But many guys doesn't know. I also don't like *** penetrations. So I am a.side.
No Picture kingofdesire56	Posted On Oct 12, 2022 Is it genuinely possible to meet someone of this orientation. Because it feels like in the day we live in, people are so desperate to just get laid they'll do anything and say anything and mostly agree to anything to just get off. And they'll get into bed with anyone. Idk if in these times we'll be able to find someone who actually makes time and tries to like connect with people and like give enough attempts into forming a bond beyond the sexual needs and cravings. Being a "Side", I would genuinely like to meet someone and like get to know more people.
No Picture Stopgap *	Posted On Oct 12, 2022 The very fact that most are driven by the unrealistic reality of ***, they're restricted to only a variation of ***, rough ***, tough ***, hard ***, long ***, never really knew *** had that many variations. So it is farfetched to find other "sides", there are many who agree to many things when they're *** but later change their minds, so it's best that you exercise your better judgement & *** through this diligently to avoid wasting your time & energy! I wouldn't lose hope, coz there are quite a few sides out there who can relate& make great company. Good luck with the hunt !!
No Picture kisssies	Posted On Oct 12, 2022 @kingofdesire56 you will be surprised, there are a good number of them. Many just don't openly tell, just to avoid judgement (yes, things like, 'oh *** without f*ck is no *** at all' or 'oh that's just foreplay' etc.) I have been a side (barring a few horrific experience experiments that confirmed the sideness) all my life and won't trade that for anything
No Picture fifty	Posted On Oct 13, 2022 I enjoy kissing, licking, caressing more. Get bored with ***. Had tried to take *** only to please the top and because I used to thing that is the ultimate act of gay ***. Does that make me a side? I will love to just lie down next to my guy, or let him rest keeping his head in my lap while I run my fingers through his silky hair. For me liking someone as a person is more important than his sexual organs
No Picture Raajiv	Posted On Oct 13, 2022 Okay so there are some of them who just want a BJ nothing else.. no kissing, no body play,, only they want their *** to be ***.. are they side?
No Picture bromance16	Posted On Oct 13, 2022 @fifty Same with me. I love getting cozy with my guy, snuggling in his neck, tousling his hair, kissing and biting the ears, cuddling/hugging under a blanket n feeling his warmth of the body, discussing our fav topics when in each other's arms. These things give me more pleasure than *** or ***.
No Picture kangana_cd	Posted On Oct 13, 2022 woahh i was always confused about my orientation now i know what i am and a huge relief to know that there are people like me thank ou so much @shapeoflove for this post. i am from ahmedabad and would like to meet a side who just enjoys forplay i am a cd and always like to present my body to a top for passionate romance.
No Picture Bicurious_28 *	Posted On Oct 13, 2022 @bromance16: There's something really captivating about bromance. Wish to find someone for pure male to male love (to begin with).
No Picture Kkunal001	Posted On Oct 13, 2022 I am enjoying being a side more and more. No pressure, no rush… just a lot of intimacy, lot more involvement … Unlike in case of the rigid role based ***. Having experienced the pleasure .. theres no going back !
No Picture Bemonami2	Posted On Oct 13, 2022 After going through this thread, I think I’m also into this category.
No Picture kingofdesire56	Posted On Oct 15, 2022 @kisssies I'm not saying that people don't exist. I know they do. But like you said, because of the judgement they hide. But here's the problem. Not everyone is judgmental. I mean we are here. We don't judging nobody. So for people like us how are we supposed to find these people who are hiding. Either way the people who call themselves "Bisexual", (and this is just based on my personal experience after years being on various online platforms and even meeting a lot of people through the online platform) are just purely *** people. They'll say and accept to anything to get laid and just get off. The true gays are already in hiding and in the closet due to fear. And from those very few number of gays how are you supposed to find the "Side" people.
No Picture fifty	Posted On Oct 15, 2022 Not just fear of being judged. Me and some others who wrote here, didn't know that being side, not doing oral, annal is absolutely okay and enough. I was under the impression that the climax has to be ejaculation while doing oral or annal . I can and have cummed while just kissing and that was a big let down for the other guy.
No Picture kissravi2022	Posted On Apr 19, 2023 Being a side how to give signals in public place ?
No Picture TurinTop	Posted On Apr 19, 2023 How do you give signals if you are top, versatile, bottom? Being side myself means to me enjoying *** mutually. You don’t need a billboard to advertise yourself.
No Picture scorpiodevenice	Posted On Apr 19, 2023 Position is dynamic also over time. It may change over many years. I have been a top throughout. Nowadays over the last few years I don’t enjoy much of penetrative *** ***. And this term “side” I came across just a few months ago. And makes more sense for me now. Presently I am more interested in frottage and expressing sexual love externally by hugging or *** or nipple play etc.
No Picture TurinTop	Posted On Apr 19, 2023 Absolutely agree, Scorpio. You are right. Personally, I couldn’t care less of ***, but I like strong action though.
No Picture Voyeur_exhib	Posted On Apr 19, 2023 My profile will clearly mention I am a side. I get a lot of messages from guys from all Indian cities who are side as well :) Hope to travel across India and meet many of them one day soon.
No Picture ScorpionKing	Posted On Apr 20, 2023 I came to know about this term last year. And it was such a relatable and relief to understand that you could easiky get recognized by this term. Though many are unaware about this and had yo explain them in traditional way like verstile but no ***.
No Picture Shahidnaina	Posted On Apr 20, 2023 I am a side bot..i guess my orientation can be defined by this hopefully..
No Picture mat40	Posted On Jun 1, 2023 I'm in this category as well. It's shocking though how people feel stigmatized. Being subjected to ridicule and rejection. "Grindr" on the other hand .... has recognized it. Which is seriously a good thing!
No Picture tsamaranai	Posted On Jun 1, 2023 Identity expression is important and this word gives that to a lot of people. I would suggest for side(s) to be able to identify better we further classify it as dominant and submissive sides. We can call them side upper and side lower.
No Picture Stopgap *	Posted On Jun 1, 2023 @tsamaranai I think the demarcation already exists as top-side & bottom-side. I read this somewhere a while ago, but can't recall where or any links to reference.
No Picture hotlund	Posted On Jun 2, 2023 What do you mean by dominant side or submissive side or top-side and bottom-side? Wasn't it the whole point of not having those and just categorizing people who love ***, enjoy playing with them but no ***.
Jaytop	Posted On Jun 5, 2023 I am dominant top. I like bdsm fun too and I have mentioned I am not into *** but people will still text me for ***. And some don't believe because they think if you are dom then you must ***. You can write whatever you want but people behave as per there di..ck mood.
No Picture Roykhannaa	Posted On Jun 5, 2023 I in my childhood and teenage got played with my ***. My friends use to finger it, put toothbrush rare ended and etc. I initially didnt knew what was happening later i started enjoying it. Also sometimes on nightouts my friends use to play with my body, my *** balls, my belly button, use to lick my nipple kiss my back. I use to get used always. But i never refused anyof it. Most importantly i never got *** nor i *** anyone. Never felt erge to get *** or *** anyones ***. I guess i am side. Ioved all the rest stuff. But its been a decade now, i touched or any guy touched me and my ***!!
No Picture Guy27bi	Posted On Aug 29, 2023 People are still not acceptable to the whole "no ***" thing, many think that the term side is a new thing bit it has existed for a long time. It came to the mainstream and people started to recognise it after grindr added "Side" as pref in their app. As @Stopgap mentioned above there are a few who are creating categories like top-side or bottom -Side, but it all comes down to "no intercourse" mainly. There's a popular opinion that penetration is an expression of masculine dominance,but not everyone feels the same way. It's easier for two sides to meet up as they both are on equal footing, unless the dom-side or sub-side are meeting up. If you are curious about being gay or bi, "Side" can be good starting place to explore. It's really fun. Few *** straight guys who masquerade as bi or gay,who are just trying to get off are never gonna be able to perceive the idea of you being a "Side", so don't worry about them,there are a lot of side men out there, just have fun.
No Picture honey_bunny	Posted On Aug 29, 2023 I agree, there are so many *** straight guys in the guise of Tops who wants only to f*ck. No kissing no foreplays...
No Picture Roykhannaa	Posted On Aug 29, 2023 Hey guys, one question: If one like to get his *** hole rimmed, licked, fingered, and stuff.. not getting penetrated by ***.. also *** playing.. is this liking by a person is also considered in Being Side? If yes then i am this kind of side then i guess!!
No Picture TurinTop	Posted On Aug 29, 2023 Yes. A Side might do everything, but penetration.
No Picture Roykhannaa	Posted On Aug 30, 2023 @TurinTop oh.. nice.. thanks.. I have been calling myself curious bottom from a while. I guess I am an actual Side..!!
No Picture shanezen	Posted On Oct 23, 2023 one of my friend suggested me to try pseudo penetration or crotch penetration, its like inserting, but just between the legs, not ***, it can be done front or back. He and his boyfriend both are sides, they read about this online. He says they have tried it several times and they both like it. Because, its pleasure without the pain, and the most fun part is it can be done from front as well. I am not sure about this, because whenever I suggest this to any masseur, they say its stupid and no fun at all. Their suggestion is to go for ***, licking, bodyplay, foreplay and then blowjob. Has anyone tried this type of penetration activity? was it fun? Do share your experiences or thoughts on this.
No Picture kisssmeee *	Posted On Oct 23, 2023 i tell my tops to do the pseudo penetration or crotch penetration technique, its like inserting, but just between the legs some of the tops or massuers agree to it but most want to insert in *** i find the technique fun and some tops do but i dont think most tops want it tht way but thts just my opinion
No Picture Testosterone	Posted On Oct 23, 2023 @kisssmeee sometimes it becomes difficult for a top to resist the urge especially when the bottom has a smooth sexy ***. Its just that the instict to penetrate takes over.
No Picture Stopgap *	Posted On Oct 23, 2023 So the term pseudo penetration is commonly known as "dry humping". It's only enjoyed if both are into it & feels best with lots of lube. If not, it can result is in skin burn from the repeated movement. This is from experience of it.
No Picture shanezen	Posted On Oct 24, 2023 Hi @stopgap, I did ask them about skin rashes and burn due to continuous movement. They suggested, lube is best, but if it feels expensive, in this case, since its a pseudo penetration, use almond oil. Almond oil is easily available, smells good and does the work.
No Picture Softmature	Posted On Oct 24, 2023 I always have this type of fun only and massager also does. We generally apply lot of cream or almond oil and then indulge in penetration. It is a heavenly feeling .
No Picture Stopgap *	Posted On Oct 24, 2023 @shanezen, true it's an expensive affair, oil though it serves the purpose, it does need a proper clean up after. Water soluble lube is quite hassle free that way& with a quick rinse you're all sorted coz not everyone have a wash up option..
No Picture Armaan_098	Posted On Oct 24, 2023 Dry humping sounds a good thing to start with for someone not into anals yet. Its good to read about all the experiences shared in this platform. Just want to share my concern here regarding premature ijaculation. can anybody help me in this regard. ping me if anybody can. Thank you.
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