Born straight and became gay
Thoughout my life I've been curious about this. Just wanted to know if this is only my experience or if it is common. When I was around 6th or 7th standard, suddenly one day I hit puberty. I know because I got vivid dreams of boobs and was getting quite *** in the night itself. Then I used to watch navels of heroines and started masturbating. This went on for some time. I still remember this particular incident. In the newspaper one day, there was a picture of this busty heroine with cleavage and navel exposed. I took the paper, ran to an auto behind our house (the driver used to come only in the afternoon) and masturbated licking at those navels and cleavage. Also once in a browsing center someone who was in the cabin before me, left pic of a naked girl and went. I saw that, couldn't control myself and *** there itself. It was the first time I saw nipples. I was super *** all the time and only remember watching women.
This went on for about 1-1.5 years. Later on, I slowly started getting attracted to men instead of women and at one point, I totally lost interest in women. Even my rib cage that was broadening stopped and my height also stopped (could be just a co-incidence). I'm just wondering if any of the below could be the reason for this.
1. My mom was super protective of me and I was very very close to her. But I never had a working relation with my father. We hardly ever spoke with each other. Not that he is bad or anything, but he is quiet type and I never had any physical or mental connection to him.
2. I never used to play with guys of my age. I went to play cricket once or twice but I was bad in fielding and got scoldings too, so never went after that. They used to call me but I never went. Mostly I was into studies.
3. I was scared and never used to ride cycle/scooter that time but most of the boys (and even girls) started coming to school by cycle or bike at that time. My mom who was very protective of me did not even encourage me to ride cycle and all. She was concerned about my safety. I learnt cycle only when I was in 11th standard and bike/scooter much later.
4. I was mostly a loner and had real friends only after 10th standard. I used to long looking at the friendship of my classmates, the way they play with each other and have bike ride trips at those times.
5. Overall I never felt as an equal to the other boys of my age at that time. I thought they were much better than me because they ride cycle/bike and play well while I was shortcoming. May be that complex turned out to be some kind of physical attraction.
6. This may not be the reason but once I overheard my mom accusing my dad of cheating on her with the neighbor lady. My dad was refuting that and nothing happened after that. But then I was a bit traumatized just to think of it because I was too much affectionate to my mom.
Does anyone else have this kind of experience of being straight during puberty and then turned out to be gay?
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|Previous comments: 1 2 |
|Posted On May 19, 2020 - 05:13 PM|
But self inquiry is done when we know that we could get to a certain conclusion. Just self inquiring yourself again and again without getting to a certain specific point is just a waste of our valuable time in my opinion. It's a process we opt when we think that there is something wrong with us, which we all know isn't true. Being gay is as normal and natural as anything else in this world. And it has been same for thousands of years. But when society makes us believe that being who you are is wrong then, we start to self inquire about our identity. But why do we do that? Why we start our inquiry with a belief that something is wrong with us and we needs to be fixed? Why not a straight guy questions his sexual identity? Why doesn't he think about being straight and how he became straight? Why nobody questions his sexuality? It's just because we think that being straight is an obvious thing and needs no questioning. Things like your purpose of living, your decisions and your social responsibilities need self inquiry. Not your sexuality in my opinion. Because it won't change you or your feelings. So, in my opinion we should stop questioning our sexuality and start living our life by accepting our self the way we are.
|Posted On May 19, 2020 - 06:46 PM|
@shapeoflove, let's agree to disagree. It's not a matter of 'something being wrong': I review my sexuality because I know that in the past it has developed. Yours may not have. We're different.
Being straight isn't an obvious thing; that's the point - all the diversity here on this site alone screams at the need for personal review. And learning sonething new about yourself does change your feelings.
I don't review my purpose for living; I don't see the point. (Isn't your purpose for living fixed?) My decisions are based on imnediate needs; I live in the perpetual present. I fully accept the way I am, but recognise that my behaviour is mutable because of what I know about myself, and that knowledge is the product of self inquiry.
|Posted On May 19, 2020 - 09:27 PM|
@C4LEB I partly agree with you but I believe @shapeoflove is making a very good important point especially when you can see majority of people on this particular topic here are retorting to self enquiry in a very confused and delusional manner and vividly turning to blame game as if our sexuality has been vehemently conditioned by environment and people around us. Introspection is a wonderful thing but once self realization is achieved and once we identify we like certain things the best is to accept it rather than continously engaging in self enquiry. This can also translate to state of denial and self rejection maybe not for you but I believe the point of discussion around here mostly pertains to this as put up by the person whoever herewith citing his early socialization issues with other boys and parents' indifference.
|Posted On May 20, 2020 - 08:45 AM|
My experience with gay life started at my age 6. I used to play with my friends....one of the friend used to open my *** and *** it.....that time I used to take it like play.....afterwards I used to like the same fun want it everyday. For that fun, I used to search for friends etc etc....finally by the time my age is 11, I started attracting senior men while playing and had good fun with them.....
All those days, I accept my orientation and try only men for fun....this happend to me till my marriage. I used to appreciate the beauty of girl and visualise the fun of being with them. But never tried to have some romance with them...since I was deeply comfortable and enjoying with men.
Even before marriage I thought whether I can lead marriage life.....believe me ....it turned out to be good to have men to women *** and enjoying it.
Now , I never bothered to define self ...whether gay, bisexual or straight. Definitely not straight since I enjoy being with men too. So, it must be Bisexual type.
For me reverse ...it is being gay to bisexual (ofcourse not to straight yet....since I still look for fun with men)
|Posted On May 21, 2020 - 10:58 AM|
I'm in total agreement with Hottmale, experiences are slightly different. I was used by my male cousin when I was around 7. he was 15+ and he used me for several years. I got habituated with guys and removing shorts, feeling ***, pulling the foreskin etc. Later when I was in grade 8, few guys from hostel started making out, fondling ***, and we graduated to using a *** on outer lips, etc. Gradually started the blow job, ever since I understood the ecstacy of blow jobs, there's no way of going back. it's been an awesome one-way journey. I get *** and I also enjoy *** some nice cut mushroom heads. thicker girths amuse me more, than lengthy ones.
I also am turned on to girls,21-28. I'm not the one for auntys or sloppy ones. I'm more of a butt lover, than a boob lover. I like watching some straight *** too.
My fantasy for *** is watching Tamil audio ***, gay/straight. the audio and conversation turns me on a lot. I am hoping to be married to a woman, I'm still virgin when it comes to *** with women and I am looking forward to it. I am also thinking my hook up with men eon diminish during my wedding with a woman, as I am very loyal to a single person to whom I am committed. I have hooked up several times with a lot of men, but been in a relationship with 4 different guys, and I never saw another guy when I used to be with one guy during that relationship
|Posted On May 23, 2020 - 12:44 PM|
I think cricket was not my cup of tea either.. Like most of the guys here.. But i never had attraction towards girls right from beginning.
No body would believe... But when i was 4 or 5 a girl in neighbor who was about 2 year elder to me use to make me and herself completely nude and we use to play in a closed room like that for hours.. Several unusual games with physical touching of each other bodies.. I dont know may be i was introduced too early for all this that it was no excitement for me.
Now much before puberty.. I started feeling something different about guys.. Conductor of school bus was my first crush.. He was a young lad of age 16-17 may be and use to be only in baniyan as soon as bus leaves school campus...i may be 10 that time..
By 12 my maternal uncle did hanky oanky stuff with me at night while co-sleeping. Pata nahi gay logo ke saath hi aisa hota hai ya jinke saath aisa hota hai wo gay ho jate hein..
|Posted On May 24, 2020 - 09:49 AM|
Hi I am straight guy but I don't know why I am eager to *** ***. Really I want to *** a *** badly but till now I didn't get anyone. I don't know why I am very much interested in *** ***. In my dreams also it came that some is *** my *** woww awesome dream but I didnt get anyone to go live. If anyone is aware about this kind of sense pls respond. In *** also I love to watch shemale porns only...
|Posted On May 27, 2020 - 10:28 AM|
@venuslux36 if imagination of *** *** gives u boner (and u like girls too) then u r bisexual. If u just want to try *** *** without this imagination giving u boner then u are just bi-curious.
|Posted On May 27, 2020 - 10:52 AM|
@hotbotpop I'm very much surprised to read this!! (I even rechecked whether I myself haven't written this). Exactly same things have happened with me but their are some slight differences. First ur last point didn't happen with me in exact manner. My mom never accused my dad of being cheating her with another women, but my dad maintained very close relation with our neighbors, and he considered neighbor aunty as his sister until they cheated with us financially and quarrel broke out between my father and mother on this issue. Rest of things are same. My mom is still very protective to me, I didn't have friends till nearly 5th standard (got friends earlier than u, still it's too much) , didn't have good friends in college for majority of time, was too shy to play outside as I was and still am very bad at sports, only recently I learnt to ride bicycle and so on. I was never attracted to boys, never found any boy in school to be handsome (now I find many of them to be lol) and never had any connection with boys. In my good school days after 5th standard I would spend lot of time to impress girls, even had crush on total 3 girls and used to *** alot while watching straight *** (sometimes with my girl cousins when I would go to their home in holidays). However suddenly in 2nd year of my college, at which time I was completely alone due to lack of friends, started feeling attraction to boys with even more passion than I had felt for girls during so many years! For around 4 months I was complete gay, and I wouldn't get turned on by women at all... I don't know how but somehow I again started to like girls in my final year in college and again had crush on another girl (I was too shy in all 4 times to propose them, when I perfectly knew that 2 of them had given positive responses to me and only formal proposal was remaining) . I don't know whether it's coincidence or what, that time when I started to again like girls was also time when I got really good friends in college. As of now, I identify myself as bisexual, I had equal feelings towards both boys and girls (though emotionally I'm more attracted to girls while physically more to boys). I can get equally hard while seeing both straight and gay *** . Seeing ur example I think surrounding conditions also must be playing important role in deciding sexuality. Nevertheless studies have already suggested that human sexuality is fluid and may change with time. I don't know whether I will again become completely straight from bisexual or go in other direction again, but personally I would like to be bisexual as I can explore my life fully in this scene!!!
|Posted On Jun 19, 2020 - 05:15 PM|
Even I feel the same guys . Born straight and now bisexual or gay not sure . But I would love if someone would make me feel like a girl , I would really love it . I'm nor sure if I want *** or not but I want the warmth , cuddle and oral *** . Would love to *** *** . Scared to say all this , as this is my first time of confession here at ohmojo . But yeah someday I will come out of closet .
|Posted On Jun 19, 2020 - 09:28 PM|
This is going to be a long post. I hope it helps many people here who are as confused as me and are fighting everyday with self and others over it. The pain of self exploration is unfathomable.
I can relate to many points in the discussion.
Here it goes, when I was kid probably 4-5 years old, bit feminish, as I was surrounded by lot of female friends, my voice was also soft. Slowly I started growing up and noticed that people are pointing out faults in me, they were laughing at me, I didn't like it and started working upon my hand gestures and voice, it took me 3-4 years to finally become manly.
When I was 8-9 years old, I remember peeking into my friend's private parts while he used to pee, similarly he used to do the same and we used to just laugh it over without any thing. I also used to watch a lot of WWE then and used to feel a different feeling of tightness in my lower abdomen, it was different from *** as I was kid then. I used to like the muscles and the fights. Slowly I started growing up and then had a major crush on my classmate, she was way over my mind, like I used to go all blank just after seeing her. I also used to play hide and seek with girls and in between used to get close with them, I used to just love that, I remember I was always keen on playing this game and used to wait for it. I was pretty straight then, I used to watch alot of adult content, read about it etc. Used to get dreams about girls etc. I used to admire smart boys of my class who were arrogant and handsome, I used to stalk them and also used to feel guilty of not being one of them. I used to feel jealous and sad about it.
This went on until I became 19, then I stopped watching *** etc for certain time and started avoiding girls as I wanted to focus on studies. It did work and I became 20, I still used to think about them but then I was able to control it. Then, when I became 21, I came in the contact of a spiritual organisation, which I liked alot. I liked it so much so that I wanted to join it as a celibate (no ***, no marriage life long). Here I practiced deep rules of celibacy where I didn't used to look at girls only, leave aside fantasizing about them. This was a very difficult period and to feel alot of frustration. One lesson I learnt was, never suppress your sexual feelings, it can backfire like anything.
So it happened with me, I started generating attraction towards some of my male friends who were kind of cute, fair and femnish. I started developing attraction towards them and I wanted to talk more with them. As I was practicing celibacy, I was happy in a sense that atleast am not getting attracted to girls, thus I can still become a celibate. But time brings its own problems.
I didn't know where I was sweeping into. Slowly I started watching male adult content only as I can't watch female content, initially I used to feel that these men in the clip are just doing acting of getting feelings but slowly as I kept on watching, I also started getting some feelings, and for a year I did so, by the end I was totally into guys. I was so crazy for fun that I made fake fb account to meet a guy, we did some fun but I was so much into guilt that I couldn't sleep. But this process didn't end, I kept meeting guys and discovering what I like in them and what I don't like in them. I also had relationship with girl and guys in between but meeting with guys didn't stop.
I was very frustrated because I was so much into guilt, my entire time used to go apps and just thinking about it, it was hampering my life. I decided to take professional help, it helped me but to a certain extent. I used to think, I have become gay, but the counselling sessions helped me to understand to that it is way beyond all these things. I realised am bi finally. Being Gay or bi is just tags, finally we all are humans who breathe the same air.
Sexual Orientation is very complex, there is no straight answer to it, the best solution what I have today is to accept that I am a bisexual. I have attraction towards both, it only gets increased or decreased according to situation and the contacts, neither of attraction can be totally removed. We can just accept what we are and feel pride about it. It increases respect towards ourselves. I wanted to share many other things but I guess, it will become boring. So am ending here. If you have any comments please drop in here or personally message me. I hope it is helpful to few here.
Love yourself guys, it helps.
|Posted On Jun 20, 2020 - 12:27 PM|
@sonu321 and @ CoSoul : Same here guys...i used to have a girlfriend too meanwhile was having some fun with my friends so i was a bisexual..after break up I stopped the fun part and concentrated on work..now after a long time when its time for sexual desires the interest between male and female changes time to time according to situation but more interested in shemales/trans..Lack of fun makes me frustrated too..the thing is im hesitant in making a move towards anyone whether online or in cruising spots ..but will be searching for good friends..when that works out theres gonna be a quality time..this applies not only for me but many others too i think.
|Posted On Jun 20, 2020 - 07:24 PM|
I can't believe it. It is the same story. Word to word. Exact same. Thanks for sharing this. It always feels good to see people have experienced it in same way!
I feel my curiosity towards gay community has bigger share for me being here.
|Posted On Jun 21, 2020 - 12:21 AM|
Dear cosoul more than 90 % story is matching with my life.
Whenever I asked someone that how u become gay noone told me about them . I am always curious about them that what situation or under what circumstances he become gay ?
|Posted On Jun 21, 2020 - 03:24 AM|
Thanks hbkarthick & ammy196, for reading my story.
It is really great that am personally receiving a lot of support, trust me this support is making me happy feel proud about what I am. This is the very support, which all of us need and this thread is really helping us to get that strength. Also, I am receiving requests to share the remaining story. I will share that soon too.
Thanks Ohmojo, for this platform :)
|Posted On Jun 24, 2020 - 01:26 AM|
Looks like most people here once liked girls and boys. We encounter *** earlier than we need to. As *** is all about excitement we start finding many ways to fulfill that. Those who cross gender lines can think of gay fun too. That gives excitement because it's is secrete fun with lots of excitement.
I feel $ex is all about excitement ..
|Posted On Jun 26, 2020 - 03:40 AM|
This topic might be real. Almost all of the people who have commented here have more or less the same story. And so is mine.
My cousin brother used to live us since childhood. He is 5 years elder than me. Right from a very young age (6-7 years old), we used to play with our *** together. He was elder so he knew stuff. Initially he used to hold mine and I used to hold his under sheets in bed. Later on he used to *** mine and me his. But at that age neither did I understand it nor did I enjoy. I don't remember if I enjoyed or not. Later on.....his *** grew and with years going by he also started rubbing his *** in my *** and used to try inserting it. I used to like only the feeling of rubbing it, but overall I did not enjoy it but used to do because he would also allow me to do the same. This went on till standard 11-12. Till that time we had *** each other too some of the times.
Having all this going on, but I was never attracted to any guy in my right mind. Emotionally and romantic-ally my heart always searched for a girl. I fell in love in standard 9. Faced the heart break in 11th standard. It took me 4 years to get over her till my second year in college. Towards the end of third year in college, I started falling in love with another girl from my class. The heart break came in after the last year of college. I still haven't been able to get over her. Just last night again I was dreaming about her. Just like old days we were together and it is such a great feeling. Wish if I would forever be in that dream.
Sorry I diverted to different topic. So about me finding boys/men is that whenever I am ***, that is the time I think about ***. I feel lime wanting to *** a good and clean ***, sitting naked together watching ***, me holding someone else's *** and they holding mine, or rubbing our *** together. Trying the 69 position, *** and getting ***. I enjoy gay *** too much but not the penetration part, I dislike that. But all this is there only till I am ***, once I am done ***, I feel all this stuff useless and unenjoyable. Then I think only about girls, not boys, till the next time I am ***.
|Posted On Jun 30, 2020 - 07:48 PM|
not sure if the title is correct.. "Born straight and became gay".. what if we were born gay and turned straight
|Posted On Jul 1, 2020 - 09:01 AM|
For those who claim to have hit a heart at 9th grade and ended in 11th, it wasn't love ot was just your hormones pumping.you to do so. It's not called love! That's just infatuation.. Its called puppy love. Even I had once and everyone goes thro that. so stop the BS and be honest with yourself. So you like to think of guys only when you re *** and then back to girls huh?!? What do you think of guys as whores to just satisfy your lust and then you crawl back to your ***?
Be honest and true to yourself, and dont pass the BS that you are normal. Get yourself treated and get out of this community if you think that you just want boytoys. Do you ever get tired of your own lies and your acts to think that you re straight and someone turned you gay????
|Posted On Jul 5, 2020 - 05:17 PM|
Unimate seems like you totally disagree with most of the comments in this thread?
|Posted On Jul 5, 2020 - 06:17 PM|
Some of us seem to not comprehend the fact that sexuality is a spectrum. It's not one of two things. Most people don't have a definite sexuality and that's fine. Nobody has the right to shame you for being gay, straight or anything in between. Humans are complex creatures, labels and group identities fail to recognise how unique every single person is. You can be someone who likes having *** with anybody regardless of gender but only prefer to have a real emotional and physical relationship with just men or only women. As long as you're choosing to do things because that's really who you are and not choosing it because of outside pressure/fear like society or family it's completely normal. Don't let anybody tell you any different. You don't have to fit their opinion on what sexuality should be. You're your own person, just make sure you're honest to yourself so that you can be happy with your choices.
|Posted On Jul 27, 2020 - 07:10 AM|
@hotlund, yes I agree to disagree what the comments and thoughts here.
|Posted On Jul 29, 2020 - 06:51 PM|
Sexual feelings is lot complex and it needs constant discovery. No one is 100% gay, bi or straight. Labels just destroy the actual feelings.
I believe, one is free to feel the inner as one's wish and they should not be judged rather they should be accepted as they are so that they can feel #pride of themselves.
|Posted On Aug 1, 2020 - 06:26 AM|
All that is good but how to live a practical life with such complex and non binary sexuality? Suppose someone gets emotionally attracted to girls only and so is sexually too. But he also feels attracted to bulges of guys or *** for that matter. How would he lead a satisfying life then? He wants to marry a girl, but also enjoys sometimes when *** with guys. If he is in a urban area, we can say that he can once in a while have fun with guys found through places like ohMojo or Grindr or whatever. But should he keep it a secret from his wife/family? Or what is logical or moral thing to do? Imagine if the guy is based out of rural area, there neither anyone would understand nor would he get any guy for fun. And to what extent all this is right? Since we also have family/friends/society and not always everyone can leave them and live life on their own terms neglecting what the society/people/family says. Sometimes it is not even possible to imagine that they can understand such a thing even exits. LOL.........I wrote too much.
|Posted On Aug 1, 2020 - 06:31 AM|
@hotlund...situation varies based on individuals...
some are happily married.. and leading their secret life in parallel.... some are struggling to manage.. some are into issues...
doesnt matter rural or urban... am sure this feel is there across everywhere.... so many times i have heard real stores from villages and smaller towns... its all those days when no technology available.. but now, many possibilities... and even in villages, this is happening... so its up to how guys are managing this..
|Posted On Aug 4, 2020 - 07:08 AM|
I am not sure if I was born gay or became gay because of encounters in early childhood. I remember when I was 3, there was a neighbour boy may be in his teens, 13-14 years, his both parents were working. He would call me to his home to play...my parents knew him well. He would offer my some sweet and would ask me to *** his. I started liking it, I remember salty taste of *** too. Then we shifted to another place. In summers I used to go to my cousins place during school holidays. Manytimes, cousin used to keep my hand on his *** while in sleep. I started liking that too.. Then it happened with different cousins. I *** too.. many times. I used to loom forward to summer vacation to enjoy. While in school after 9th or so, I started liking handsome strong guys of my class/school. I used to dream about them and wanted to *** . Nothing happened in school or college though I had crush on many. After internet came I met few guys and had ***. I m married now but always look for sexy handsome guys. Had crush on many office friends too ... told one office friend that I like u. he did not react .. we are still friends.. No *** though with him...I am not sure if childhood incidents made me gay
|Posted On Aug 4, 2020 - 02:33 PM|
I became interesting in bisex coz of my friends brother , he talked like girly style he had a stunning jaw clean shaved when i suddenly started talking more with him and he asked if i like him or what he understood the sign n i shared my first kiss, first bj with him but unfortunately we could not have *** coz he was not ready for any discreet relationship. I kissed lot of guys but he will always be my first love
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