Are gay guys loner? #ComingOfAge
I identify myself as a straight acting gay, just like Karan from Made in Heaven. I mean no direspect to fellow community members who are into cd or drag stuff; it's their life, their choice.
I am sort of a lone wolf; I sometimes go to watch movies alone, I like eating alone, I love to travel solo, even in my free times I prefer sitting alone and reading my books.
Is it just with me or LGBTQ community members, when they cross a certain age limit (say 25) become more mature, aware about their trueselves? Like living alone is better, having a limited circle of good friends instead of thousands is easy to maintain, alone time is always fun, etc.
What are you views on this? Maybe we can call it our Coming Of Age.
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|Displaying 51 to 100 of 116 comments.|
|Previous comments: 1 2 3 |
|Posted On Feb 16, 2020 - 09:50 PM|
Its truth of the community.
N into the community (discrete) from 7 - 8 years. However n m still single and lonly.
Guys u meet either r *** seekers , or psychos , or fruads/ gold diggers.
|Posted On Feb 19, 2020 - 08:14 AM|
Me also leading the same way of life, going movies alone and all. I'm living alone in Bangalore.
I stayed in a shared accommodation with a gay friend of mine , finally he took my laptop which he previously did with many others taking there guitar, money and valuables. It's better be on ur own, be a lone wolf. No tension and full freedom.
|Posted On Feb 19, 2020 - 08:21 AM|
I am surprised how you could allow to give away or let the other person take away your stuff. Wouldn't you even protest or ask back? Better off without these swindlers anyways!!
|Posted On Feb 19, 2020 - 10:29 AM|
Whilst I am gay, I am happily single and not a part of gay culture. My sexuality is not an active part of my life; I do like to relax with a mixed crowd.
I am a solo traveller. I prefer quiet spaces, intellectual conversation and a friendly chat, but I also enjoy my own company.
Don't conflate 'gay' and 'lonely'; or confuse 'alone' for 'lonely'.
|Posted On Feb 20, 2020 - 03:13 AM|
It's true. It's hard to keep up the facade with straight friends. And even harder to trust the gay ones. Hence, alone it is. Also, apart from Mumbai, there isn't much of a community of LGBTQ people anywhere.
|Posted On Feb 20, 2020 - 08:08 AM|
Well said @C4LEB. Unless I'm able to enjoy my own company, I'll never be able to enjoy with the other. Enjoying my company implies proper self esteem and accepting myself as who I am. It may sound all philosophical but that's the truth of knowing myself.
|Posted On Feb 21, 2020 - 03:19 PM|
I'm following this thread since beginning. Very relevant thread about the community. Wanted to write my view since long, but I was too busy to write it.
Let me start with my own experience with loneliness and solitude. I'm a loner since childhood. Being a guy who doesn't like to play games, I was not welcome in most of the boys group in my school as well as in my locality. I felt kinda neglected when I was very young, but gradually I started loving my solitude more than being with a bunch of bullies. This thing continued till class XII.
Things changed when I moved to college. I had an extraordinary group of extremely supportive friends with whom I could finally be myself. I entirely enjoyed the four years there to the fullest. And I understood the true joy about being around like minded people.
But after getting job, I had to move to an extremely isolated place and I was forced into loneliness again. Made peace with the situation again.
At present, I'm still living there. And I'm a so called "straight acting" yet NOT completely closeted gay man. After coming in terms with my sexuality, the first thing that I wanted for me, was to find a partner to spend my life with. I dated someone for a short while. But soon, the differences started hitting me hard and I started missing my solitude. So I broke up with him.
So as of now, I'm in kind of a confused state. Am acting like a loner. I'm doing everything alone - the way that I've been doing everything since my very childhood. But at the same time, I'm looking a soul mate. But this time, I've determined that I won't rush into things just because I'm lonely. Because I think solitude is way better than a stressed relationship.
I think this is a prevalent mentality in most of the guys irrespective of their sexuality. Most of the time, straight men get married just because that's how it's supposed to be and later, they can't break up because of the societal pressure, parental responsibilities etc. May be that's a good thing or may be that's bad - I won't go into that judgement.
But what I feel is that - gay guys are inherently loner - is not entirely a correct concept. Many times we pose (even to ourselves) loner because it's a better alternative. And many times straight guys are not because they can't. So I don't think there is any linkage between one being loner and their sexuality. These two are completely disjoint personality traits.
|Posted On Feb 21, 2020 - 06:05 PM|
@Coolbisu91, I fully agree with your comments, even I had gone thru same thing what you have mentioned, but once you learn to live your own company then you don't require anyone else.i don't know if that is the blessing or not.
|Posted On Feb 22, 2020 - 07:44 AM|
Even I am a loner. Most of us are. I tried meeting many people but 99.9% gays consist of idiots, gold diggers, *** maniacs, psychos or purely guys who want to use you for one thing or the other. I hardly found anyone who wants true friendship to begin with. Guys here just want *** or some favour if they meet. Not sure why but most gays dont see beyond *** or favour. That way I feel straight guys are better.
Though it is good to see many feel the way I do. How about a meetup of like minded guys?
|Posted On Feb 22, 2020 - 08:02 AM|
Why don't you go to some community events? Even parties for that matter. If you have normal social skills who knows you may end up making a few friends. BQFF is a great opportunity to do so.
|Posted On Feb 22, 2020 - 07:17 PM|
Yes very true. I also feel the same. May be because of age and maturity it is so.
|Posted On Feb 23, 2020 - 06:23 AM|
VERY LESS ON SOCIAL NETWORK IN THIS FIELD UNDERSTAND IMPORTANCE OF TRUE FEELINGS EMOTIONS. LUV CARING IS MOST WONDERFUL ASPECT OF LIFE.
BUT ON ALL SITES JUST BAD PEOPLE R THER WHCH CAN CREATE TROUBLE. SO ITS BETER TO AVOID THESE BAD AND B ALONE. DONT KNOW WHO CAN TAKE DISADVANTAGE OF YOU.
M ALSO ENJOYING ALONE B HAPY IN DAILY ROUTINE IN EVERY ASPECT. MEN CAN UNDERSTAND MEN MORE BUT SOMETIMES. MEN R LOKING FOR LUV CARE AND NOTHING ELSE.
WE ALL ALONE PEOPLE SHOULD COME TOGETHER WHO R LOOKING FR TRUE LUV CARE TO FORM GROUP ON WATS APP. MEET TALK DISCUSS SHARE CARE.
IT WIL BOOST OUR CONFIDENCE AND INCREASE OUR NETWORK.
LETS FORM GROUP WHO ALL R READY. LETS NAME IT HAPPILY ALONE.
|Posted On Feb 23, 2020 - 01:12 PM|
@masterbot Not sure what is BQFF. I have been in parties in bangalore but it is difficult to talk to strangers. May be I am not that open minded but I dont find much people mixing around in parties.
|Posted On Feb 23, 2020 - 03:36 PM|
I'm a bit young but this thread really intrigues me. I am not a very outgoing person and prefer to spend time alone too. I guess it's just a preference irrespective of sexuality but we are probably more into it because it offers us some peace and quiet after our messy everyday life? Messy isn't exactly the right word but I hope you get what I'm trying to say >.<
|Posted On Feb 23, 2020 - 06:59 PM|
There are a number of reasons expressed here, and each of them valid:
@rahulkumarmumba says it about "self esteem and accepting myself as who I am", which is very insightful.
@Coolbisu91 explained the pain of being different as a male growing up and making the choice to "gradually [start] loving my solitude more than being with a bunch of bullies". This to me is inner strength. Also, he hits the nail on the head, with "But this time, [I'm] determined that I won't rush into things just because I'm lonely. Because I think solitude is way better than a stressed relationship." This is the wisdom of experience.
@mayank_blr is perhaps a bit cynical with his declaration that "99.9% gays consist of idiots, gold diggers, *** maniacs, psychos or purely guys who want to use you for one thing or the other", but his dating experiences cannot be ignored: I think we've all come away from an experience with a frown and thinking "What just happened then?"
@Punedude warns us "TO AVOID THESE BAD AND B ALONE." Fair advice, but this describes caution, not an inherent loneliness.
@Triz observes the personal very succinctly: "I am not a very outgoing person and prefer to spend time alone too. I guess it's just a preference irrespective of sexuality".
@Coolbisu91 holds masculinity up to comparison and concludes against "there [being] is any linkage between one being loner and their sexuality."
Each of these thoughts, experiences and opinions are indeed "irrespective of sexuality", an alternative to being socially uncomfortable or being just plain self sufficient. Being gay may be the commonality, but how you deal with being alone is part of the human condition.
|Posted On Feb 25, 2020 - 12:20 PM|
@mayank it's the Bangalore Queer Film Festival .... Introduce yourself to atleast 1 person. Make 1 friend... It will get a lot easier....
|Posted On Feb 26, 2020 - 10:16 PM|
M in chennai... I believe who so ever become friends at young age will always by our side at any age. Later it become difficult to trust anyone.
|Posted On Feb 28, 2020 - 09:55 AM|
Well I myself has been alone and am 39 years of age. I go to movies, eat out , shop alone quite a few times. Though I live with my parents, have set of good close friends in office and few married cousins with Whom I go out with or spend time sometimes. Also I travel a lot solo for past few years and have some great experiences especially internationally ( thanks to the decent job :-)). Also I work out, go for long walks and read. I feel am content and dont really feel a need for a partner except for sexual needs sometimes. I dont have courage to come out of closet though.
|Posted On Feb 28, 2020 - 07:41 PM|
I could be dead wrong about this but being gay just narrows down the number of people we can date and that could be the problem. Like we are a small pool of people. This further gets divided into tops, bots, vers and what not so again the scope is narrowed according to preference. Then we also want to be picky based on looks, number of abs and many more things which further reduces options. We live in a society where most of the potential options live in closets and give in to family pressure and get married. With time it should change. I guess waiting is the option or instead of being a bitch trying with someone who doesn't exactly fit in all criteria but is worth giving a shot. Who knows you might find your forever. I found mine 7 years back ;-)
|Posted On Mar 3, 2020 - 02:48 PM|
It's not true, I found my husband 3 years back 😁
Sometimes over expectations and lack of understanding destroys the love 😣 But thankfully it is not present in my case. I wish you guys all the best in finding the right person ❤️
|Posted On Mar 5, 2020 - 06:53 PM|
well growing up, Bi or gay guys tend to be loners because you dont find it easy to express your feelings or you can gang up with friends and watch *** and feel uncomfortable with insensitive macho jerks etc. this might eat into adult hood which wont help. I had it becoming so suffocating not being out and stuck without expressing anything I felt what changed it was going out and meeting a group of like minded friends to do things together other than just ***. Ended up with amazing group of gay bi curious friends that have lasted more than a decade -- once you are with a group where you are able ot be yourself and do things you guys like.. believe me there are things mostly queer people like to do usually related to a higher IQ like theater, art, mindful nature ,adventure, and I also met quite a few younger guys who were suffering and after encouraging them to get out and meet people, lives have changed and I have seen people changing , it will change everything your performance at work, perception confidence everything so all gay bi, guys, please get out, find a network of your own it will form an important part of your support network, believe me. and dont be over petrified about being in closet your sexuality is your business and nobody elses you can be confident about it and not flaunt it just be street smart, remember "usually" queer are more gifted, but most of that gift is wasted solely in finding and having ***. so make use of it.
|Posted On Mar 5, 2020 - 06:55 PM|
and yes just because your friend is also gay, you cant expect he should or you should sleep with him. Live a normal life like how you would with straight friends. Its perfectly ok to be who you are.
|Posted On Mar 6, 2020 - 12:28 AM|
I can't be alone, can't do solo trips. I need privacy to an extreme level but at the same time I can't be alone. I have tried few solo and failed miserably
|Posted On Mar 13, 2020 - 12:48 PM|
well I cant say abt all guys but yes I hv been a loner all along , even before wen I haven't realized abt the orientation , so I guess its not tat gays r loners due to their orientation its more of a personality thing initially,
but yes as we grow up I guess we keep urself secluded or aloof frm others not finding it easy or being confused to express n accept oneself, adjust to societal norms tat expect certain things frm guys
and also maybe not finding like-minded friends wid whom we can share & who can be trustd with this issues and so the perennial search continues leaving us more lonely than loners
|Posted On Mar 14, 2020 - 03:48 AM|
I am writing specifically for those gays who are not at all interested in girls and women. During the adolescent stage when other boys are talking about girls , you fake interest but you are not into it. Later when others are settling in their careers and looing to get married, you find the talks of marriage uncomfortable. For this reason you tend to avoid family gatherings too, to avoid relatives asking - when are you going to give laddoos. Later when your friends and colleagues are busy with their family life and children, when their talks center around those topics, you dont have anything to share. You cant tag along with your married friends, cousins for movies and other family outings. Somehow the gay mind adapts itself to this loneliness and starts believing that you are rather a loner and enjoy your own company.
But we need someone to share out thoughts, feelings, issues, emotions. No point denying it. Ideally one should at least have a gay friend (I am not saying *** partner) but at least if one is out to some close friends, one can share these things with them.
I find that I am more comfortable with my close female friends and even they have shared their issues with me, rather than their female friends.
Of course each person is different and this may not apply to everyone. But do think and share what you guys feel about my thoughts.
|Posted On Mar 17, 2020 - 11:48 AM|
@Fifty - I do agree. At one point of time eventually we tend agree we are alone. We ought to have friends to share our feelings. Straights or rather pseudo straights could never understand our feelings.
But as rightly said by @offline_cruiser, the people I have met are also either *** seekers or gold diggers. I wouldn't say psycho s but some act too over possessive and spoil it.
I recently opened up about me to my straight friend and he ended up distancing himself from me. It's been so painful as he is my very good buddy and I never had any physical attraction to him. Now he avoids any proximity near me. I felt it would have been better I never opened up to him rather than undergoing this.
In my view point "ACCEPTANCE" is the key point we all are looking for and when I say acceptance, it's "ACCEPTANCE THE WAY WE ARE" without any prejudices. Unfortunately we aren't accepted that way and we end up being loners.
As long as we are accepted the way we are be it family or friends, we have to live with this loneliness..
|Posted On Mar 25, 2020 - 04:17 PM|
Every gay man has felt lonely at some point. I am 48 and I have through it plenty. But since the age of 30 and especially after coming out, I have gone out of my way to be part of lgbt social groups, made life long friends with guys, who started of as hookups! And have been in relationships. I have been very lucky that way, but also have to acknowledge that I did put in some effort.
The app culture of today is very tough and confusing and sadly revolves around ***
In Bangalore, there is a support group called Good As you and it's been around over 25 years. I cannot recommend this enough for folks, who want to be part of a closed ans safe support space. Every thrusday they have a meeting and there are some awesome discussions. I made so many great friends here. Google it up for the location of the meeting (near mission road)
Facebook has a private group called good as you, join the same and you can get a lot of updates and info.
Bangalore queer film fest, diversity melas, pride and the regular parties are other avenues to physically meet people. I know it is a scary path to negotiate sometimes, but sadly if you want to meet people, then the only way is you get out there.
Not everyone out there is a gold digger or out to exploit your vulnerability and everything doesn't have to revolve around *** too, I come across so many on Grindr who want to meet and talk and be friends too!
All the best!
|Posted On Apr 22, 2020 - 11:54 AM|
I'm very much like you. I spend more time reading, etc. My social interaction is based on situations and circumstances but personally I love to read, educate myself. I have hobbies and life is wonderful. Nothing wrong to be a loner and enjoying "me" time. As I grew older, I realized the value of quality time and quality people, they enrich my life.
|Posted On Apr 23, 2020 - 04:44 PM|
Very much depends on characteristic of a guy. Whether he is an introvert or extrovert, feels awkward when surrounded by people or lively. Or other reasons would be personal philosophies, shyness etc. I myself was introvert, I discovered that am into guys, and always had few awkwardness when in group of people. This all changed when I found myself a roommate who was also gay. We never hooked each other, but went outside together. In Mumbai, we used to attend several gay parties. This got me into socializing, and now I feel comfortable around people. Am always looking for company to hang out nowadays, meeting different guys, sharing Personal opinions or interests etc. You are a loner. Being loner isn't bad.
|Posted On Apr 23, 2020 - 06:52 PM|
I try to convince (every single time) myself that staying alone is the best practice one can adopt while the *** sharks are lurking outside..but being single n lonely terrifies me...Aftr my ex abandoned me (3 yrs ago) i get paralysed even in a company...giving up is the ultimate option that i have..am not sure if i ever be loved properly anymore in this lifetym...
Its not that I haven't tried to date guys...but what guys have to offer me is one night stand or just frndship..am sick n tierd of this..
Ill nvr do the mistake of marrying a girl..not an option at all..dont want to destroy mine or her life...
Wish i get a nice guy in this life itself..coz am lonely..very lonely and i have excepted the fact...but can not do anything abt it.
I wish if our community had some sort of matrimonial website..)
|Posted On Apr 24, 2020 - 02:55 AM|
@bloreboy, yes it's a sorry state of many (gay) men to stay alone coz there aren't many such many trustworthy guys out there. Men are designed to be like bee jumping from one flower to another and such an institution called marriage was brought to tie him to a pole. But even then , they tend to jump the fence at times. I guess we have that in our genes 😉😜.
Be strong and learn to cope with such situations, it's quite easy to advice but I know for the fact that it's quite tough. But do we have an alternative? . Try to divert your mind towards sports or trekking or anything that helps you to relieve your stress. Hope this helps and if you need help let me know I can talk to you.
|Posted On May 7, 2020 - 05:53 AM|
1.I never had friends in school or university.
2.It used to be just a Hi/ Good morning, to the collegues. Whenever i try talking or holding a coversation, collegues would try to *** me to it and at times it becomes pretty evident. As the days passed i did not really pay attention to them.
3. But in our minds this turbulence paces and eases at all times. I keep myself occupied with my leisure time activities.
4. (I may be wrong in this context): people usually ask for WhatsApp number and after a day or two they just stop texting. Even after a month the same thing. Why do i have to text or take an inotiation to text? They can also do it, right? So what is the point in disclosing the contact detail? Just because my profile picture would be evident out there on social media and few guys are curious to see my face. I have stopped sharing my details since been a year.
5. I do not need friends as people claim to be looking for friends. I would be really happy if anybody could just atleast drop an emoji. I do not look for all those gooddie painted sweet long messages. We are all busy in lives but atleast sparing a minute or two on call wont incur you losses.
6. The more we think the more we dwindle into negativity. I am a loner as well but happy.
|Posted On May 7, 2020 - 06:47 AM|
Agree with your points @horizon_87. Numerous instances where people ping only when they wish to talk. Max timeout for such messages in whatsapp lasts for a month or so and then you are history for them. So one might ask why do you message them or stay connected. I do but it's like one worded response and that shows their disinterest to continue. It's not alone here , the same pattern is followed in other platforms. Guess that's how it is and we'd be idiots to not understand the pattern. So better to keep for ourselves 😉.
|Posted On May 7, 2020 - 11:49 AM|
i m 20 yr old. i find it difficult to socialise. often feel alone and left out as i can"t share my feelings.
|Posted On May 10, 2020 - 06:51 AM|
No offense mate but god knows I agree with whatever you have said except for one point. I do feel how it is about being ignored by people even after they say that they want to be friends. They just don't text you anymore after a couple of days or weeks. But I wanted to say is that not everyone is like that. I have been here a lot, and at times I have met lots of nice people. I still do talk to them on a daily basis. Even met a couple of them. So what you say is true. The majority of people are like that but not everyone. It might take time for you to meet some of the good people but I am sure you might meet one or two of them. And it is nice to find people you know here. So that we can talk about things we go through here.
|Posted On May 10, 2020 - 07:20 AM|
I'm sure there are lots of guys who are facing the same problem here BEING LONELY I'm 24 years old and still have no one to speak about my sexual desires or any friends with same likes and desires, and all the guys i find here are only *** freaks or not all of them whomsoever I have come across, still couldn't find a guy who really wants to spend some good quality time with bottoms, hoping I would soon find one
|Posted On May 10, 2020 - 07:09 PM|
I am a gay and am 32 now. I told my family that am never gonna marry. Initially there were a lot of drama which went on, but now its all clear.
I started searching for a partner to settle down. I don't know if its my mistake to expect love from the world, or may be LGBT community what we see today is only for getting everyone's sexual desires fulfilled. I couldn't and even now unable to find love here. I feel being gay is just a curse. I had seen a couple of movies based on life of transgender and prostitutes community and their way of life, ofcourse it was very heart breaking. Now I think I have started experiencing it myself.
I have started feeling very lonely in life. I have no friends, family will definitely move on, and its a very well known fact that people don't have time to listen to my nonsense.
I know its inevitable now for me to be alone for life time... may be I will have my parents with me for few years, after which I will either be forgotten, or would be considered just a piece of waste.
I never even thought that I will realise the bitterness of life so soon. World is too harsh at me. No love, nobody to call my own, no hopes, no brightness in life. Living life like a dead log... I wish even my worst enemy shouldn't go through this phase of life.
|Posted On May 10, 2020 - 11:04 PM|
Being loner was frm school days, continued further..
Met st8 friends at work place..nice people.
Met couple of them dating sites..
Some were gud, but somehow dint continue..
I blame myself for being boring..coz in gud listener and talktive too..
Lost my love, as i religiously inclined and shy kind.
Disaster days after brk up..
Took long lonesome days to get over..
Being lonely killed ..
So indulged in social service activities, travel..but tht vaccum prevailed..
Sometimes v dont knw, what we want..
V get to knw, what others want, but to give them that is puts us in delima..
So took up Pranic Healing, Reiki ..
Got to knw, y tht pain in me, y tht loneliness in me, when entire universe surrounds us..
Its we, we ourselves r the main cause of us being lonely..
Our mind is the master of everything..
Yes, its challenging to find the person we want..
When we find one, we tend to think, am i the person, what the other one looking for..
In this delima, we drift and back to stage 1.
Now after being into Pranic healing and Reiki, learnt to heal my aching heart and mind, atleast temp.
And also i heal others and feel gud abt it.
But sometimes the demon called loneliness haunts..
And monsters like, desire..despair do haunt..
I am human, need to undergo such.
I am beautiful made, in my own way.
|Posted On May 11, 2020 - 04:49 AM|
@decentbottom, I empathise with you. Unfortunately thats how life is! It's a bitch! Please try and connect with groups that conduct meetings so that you can find some connection with the outside world.
|Posted On May 11, 2020 - 01:39 PM|
DEJA VU . This is the most common discussion in all the online gay socialising places like facebook or even in meetings of Gay Bombay or any other suh gatherings. Even on Facebook, groups like Yaariyan etc, its the same discussion with the same things being said. What I fail to understand is how can the entire community be desperately looking for partners and not find any ? It baffles me. In this thread there are more than 15 men looking for a partner. Then how is it that no one is finding one ? It is time to introspect. And I am also a gay man and have the same issues.
From what i Have observed is that none of us is being completely honest. Most men are looking for a superman. He needs to be good looking, sexy as hell, successful, smart, independant and many other things. I have asked a few friends and the list they gave me was so long that even Superman would fail it. And we are men. We are *** oriented. Lets face it. Nature has designed men in such a way that we have as much *** as possible. Like animals who propagate their sperm into as many women as possible. But that is no excuse to find a partner and love. So the question is what is your criteria in looking for a partner ? You want a muscular successful fair smart guy as a partner ? Or you want someone who will accept you the way you are and love you unconditionally. Hell , I have heard of guys wanting a particular set of skills and qualities in their partners. Its as if they are choosing an electronic machine or a piece of clothing and not a human being.
Most gay men are hypocrites. They do not practise what they preach. They have a whole set of rules for the rest of the world but when it comes to themselves none of the rules work and they want a partner who is a greek god. SO if you want that, be prepared to be single. You will NOT find the Mr Perfect. And stop complaining and be a critique of the gay world. If you really want a partner then be open to meeting someone who will like you for you and not look for a God. And by the way that will just be the beginning. After that you have to put in a lot of work to make it work. It will not happen on its own. We have a very unreal picture of celebrated gay couples who put their stories and posts on Instagram and mislead the community by making them believe that being gay is all about great looks, good body and travel and cuddling and making love all the time. It is soft *** in disguise. THAT IS NOT WHAT A RELATIONSHIP IS !! IT IS MUCH MORE THAN THAT.
And if you really want inspiration , look at your parents. And follow their paths on how to make a marriage work. Most of our parents had an arranged marriage and did not date or have *** before getting married, The only criteria they saw was if both came from good familiee and had good values. Thats it ! They didnt think about *** size and big breasts. DID they ? We need to follow that ideology and work at it. Else we will keep having these tragic posts on fora like these and die a lonely death.
|Posted On May 12, 2020 - 01:42 AM|
Why Gay men looking for more ***? Why most of them couldn't stay with one partner? Did you guys question this anytime? Its not about Gay or straight. The fact is human naturally loves Polygamy. But we feel that is not right since so called socity is preaching us that is ugly. Even almost all religions are against it. Its fine to be in Polygamy. Understand we just need companion for our life. Not soul mate. The concept of soul mate itself a big fake theory. Even if you find a perfect companion stil you will naturally get attracted to other men or women. Don't get stressed by crudely following whatever is said to us. Monogamy works only for few that too with lot of effort. If naturally you are polygamous its fine to sleep with many guys. Don't get stressed yourself
|Posted On May 12, 2020 - 02:01 AM|
@letsfuck, I totally agree with you. Everyone, be it gay or straight, needs a Greek God or an Angel. And even if they get one, they arent satisfied. They just look for reasons to meet others.
@naughtyboy69, sorry to disagree with you. May be not all but most of the rules made by our ancients are for the well being of humans itself. How do you thing one gets HIV? Through polygamy. And now dont say, stay safe, coz we had to come up with 'safety' measures to avoid it. It is difficult to be in a monogamous relation. Efforts have to be put in but both partners and minimize the expectations from each other and accept the fact that they love you and that is want you have been looking for.
|Posted On May 12, 2020 - 02:28 AM|
You just echoed my thoughts @letsfuck. People who don't like to be a #gayloner should try to be accommodative with what's in hand!!! Stop whining and take control,plain and simple.
|Posted On May 12, 2020 - 02:35 AM|
Most of the rules are made for our well being? Lol. They say Gay *** is sin and its agaist God. You agree to that? When we understand Gays naturally have feelings towards other men and its not decease understand that many human being naturally Polygamous. Don't try to put everyone in one category. Every individual is different and have different feelings. Do you compare Covid with this situation? That is a Pandemic situation. I agree Polygamy have more risks to hiv and other sexually transmitted deceases. Its like accidents keep happening on road. Sometimes mistake of ours and sometimes others. But do we stop going on to the road? No right? We practice safety measures to avoid accidents. Similarly its upto an individual how much risk he/she want to take in Polygamy or what safety measures he/she want to take. One monogamous rule can't be applied to entire human generation. If you so believe the rules of society or religion then you will not be in this site first of all
|Posted On May 12, 2020 - 12:58 PM|
I said 'most', which you probably overlooked. Like i said, most of them are for well being of the human race, until some sick minds come up with some lame things just to fulfil their desires. Just because you want to sleep with every possible person, you shouldnt be doing it. And if you are doing it, dont expect the person you fall for to be monogamous. And if you both are polygamous, then there isnt anything called love between you two.
|Posted On May 13, 2020 - 04:59 AM|
@letsfuck what u said is 101% true. As this is the problem with straight men and women also when they approach some one for marriage as well. I have seen lot of people who are looking only for looks they are not bothered to give time nor they look for nature or are ready to adjust.. you would never get a person where all ur desires and needs are satisfied.. every person would have some defects or something missing, today no one is ready to budge on anything that's the whole problem.. the day people understand that most of the problems will be stopped.. and u will start living happily..
Adjustment is a very big thing today.. if u can't do it u will not live it.
There is also no respect left.. it's very easy to humiliate someone but at the same time difficult to respect. If you follow all the above it would be easy to lead a life by your choice.
|Posted On May 13, 2020 - 07:20 AM|
@naughtyboy. WHat I said was one can choose to have one partner or many. That is your personal choice. But then he/she should not be a hypocrite and blame the community for not dancing to their tunes. You make a choice and live with it. One cannot have the cake, the icing, the cherry and get to complain about it. We are adults.
|Posted On May 13, 2020 - 03:38 PM|
@letsfuck nicely put. You are talking about being sensible introspect and learning from parents and all which all require us to use brains. But as the saying goes most gays think from their ***. Sad but true fact of life.
|Posted On May 13, 2020 - 03:50 PM|
So if the *** thought is making us so unhappy, isnt it time to use our brains ? We are the most intelligent creatures on earth.
|Posted On Jun 3, 2020 - 07:30 PM|
I had to search for this thread to post this..
ARE WE LONERS OR THIS LONELINESS IS FORCED ON US?
Relationships hardly last in gay life. A commitment phobic partner broke my heart and a beautiful relationship. Guess gay men should stop searching *** in the name of relationship and vice versa.
After my two previous broken relationships before years, I thought I should be single and happy. Eventually met him with no agenda but it grew to be a nice relationship and later *** happened. Now when I want this to be taken to the next level he says this relationship suffocates him. When I suggested to call off he says he needs friendship.
I believe instead of being an emotional puppet it's happy to be a loner. But trust me Gay men don't choose this loneliness but are forced to be alone
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