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Are gay guys loner? #ComingOfAge


Submitted by AlwaysLusty09 Location: All India (All India, India)

I identify myself as a straight acting gay, just like Karan from Made in Heaven. I mean no direspect to fellow community members who are into cd or drag stuff; it's their life, their choice.

I am sort of a lone wolf; I sometimes go to watch movies alone, I like eating alone, I love to travel solo, even in my free times I prefer sitting alone and reading my books.

Is it just with me or LGBTQ community members, when they cross a certain age limit (say 25) become more mature, aware about their trueselves? Like living alone is better, having a limited circle of good friends instead of thousands is easy to maintain, alone time is always fun, etc.

What are you views on this? Maybe we can call it our Coming Of Age.

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Displaying 1 to 50 of 116 comments.
Previous comments: 1  2  3  

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kingofdesire56
Posted On Feb 12, 2020 - 08:16 AM

I mean I don't think everyone will be the same. Everyone has different views, perspective,thought process, way of living. It doesn't have anything to do with your sexuality. It's just in India LGBTQ community is almost frowned upon as a taboo and people who are from this community tend to hide. So indirectly they become a loner you can say. Plus even though you said you were a loner, you still need good friends, even if it is a few or else you will go mad. Solitude is sought by many, but not many people can withstand it.

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Daniel_M1900
Posted On Feb 12, 2020 - 08:42 AM

Well.... It's always good to be independent & lone time is fun till certain age but when we grow old we always require someone in life to be with.... say after 40s or 50s

Think of future after 60s when you have no one.... Family (like brother, sister and cousins) will be busy in their life and straight friends will be busy with their family.... Most of the gay friends will be married and remaining depends on how they get along

Currently, Gay marriage are not recognized in India but I'd prefer to be a single father

Not thought about straight marriage yet.

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kingofdesire56
Posted On Feb 12, 2020 - 09:28 AM

It's rare to find good people who are understanding and are okay with your sexuality. And whom you can trust. Whom you can truly depend on and can be truly a good friend.

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Roniel
Posted On Feb 12, 2020 - 10:54 AM

Being solitude lover is fine,but you need at least one friend from your school/inter/Engg or lucky if you have a friendly colleague whom you share everything thing and what you don't want to share with your wife/dam/Mom and bro..

You can satisfy your sexual instinct by hook up or one night stand or sensual massage with happy ending..
If your best friend is gay like u then a blessing for ever and thank God for that.

It is not always safe to be sexually and emotionally to attached to unknown person...
At the end emotion will be there for ever and physicality will expire

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Daniel_M1900
Posted On Feb 12, 2020 - 11:20 AM

@kindofdesire56
I completely agree with you.... Good people are very hard to find and and they should also be comfortable with your sexuality.


@Roniel
One of my best friend is also Gay we have been friends since our school nursery days we had *** few times in teenage but after that we are not in touch for more than 12 years....

Recently, I visited his place to meet him and his family but he has shifted abroad and visit once a year.... Messaged him on whatsapp good that he replied :)

But I don't know where it will lead to.....


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MatureGuy
Posted On Feb 12, 2020 - 11:31 AM

Good people r indeed hard 2 find. It's just slam bam thank u Sam. Living alone after a certain age is tough. Anyone who feels otherwise is kidding himself

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kunal16
Posted On Feb 12, 2020 - 11:48 AM

ITS BEEN 50:50 SOME DUE TO GAY PREF AND SOME IN PERSONAL NATURE. BUT START MEETING AND MAKING FRIENDS AFTER XERTAIN AGE U DO FEEL ALONE. I AM 40 NOW. BI AND MARRIED STILL FEEL ALONE SOMETIMES IN GAY WORLD

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kingofdesire56
Posted On Feb 12, 2020 - 12:40 PM

@Daniel_M1900

I am still searching for a good friend with whom I can chat and be open with and can share stuff and can expect the same in return. Even here on Ohmojo :)

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Daniel_M1900
Posted On Feb 12, 2020 - 12:58 PM

@kindofdesire56

There are plenty on OHMOJO whom you can make friends just point out your finger :)

But can't guarantee you for "GOOD FRIENDS".

In my 6 years on dating site, I just found 3-4 good souls out of which I'm in contact with only 1 of them

It's very important to connect with each other mentally..... But most of the them just look forward to get physical ;/

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kingofdesire56
Posted On Feb 12, 2020 - 01:04 PM

@Daniel_M1900

Yeah thats why I dont want to point out my finger and get "So-called friends" who want to just get physical. I mean I understand that's also a point of it, but only that becomes frustrating. I want the "Good friend" or the "Good soul" you talk about. With whom I can talk to daily and more frequently on any topic and open up to stuff that I might not share with others. That in my view is priceless.

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MatureGuy
Posted On Feb 12, 2020 - 01:27 PM

Hi kingofdesire. Yr profile say u r not into older guys. Younger guys on this site only want a physical relationship. No one wants 2 b a part of one's life or his problems. U might want 2 befriend a mature guy who will lend u a ear and doesn't want only a physical relationship. Having said this, want 2 add that I have met a couple of really nice younger guys on mojo. We respect each other, enjoy drinking and chat sessions and indulge in the act if the mood allows it. Wish your priceless good soul finds u soonπŸ‘πŸ˜Š

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kingofdesire56
Posted On Feb 12, 2020 - 01:32 PM

@MatureGuy
Technically Idk why I still havent updated that profile. At that time when I last did it, I was into that phase. Now I am over it. As you get older you learn things, and you grow. So now I am pretty much open to things. (P.s thanks for pointing it out. I always get messages as to why its on my profile. I was meaning to update it. Now I will do it) :)

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Vikrant
Posted On Feb 12, 2020 - 05:30 PM

I am all alone n leading a lonely life span.

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kingofdesire56
Posted On Feb 12, 2020 - 11:47 PM

@Vikrant

No offense, but do tell us how your life is going. Has the solitude almost come to the point where it's unbearable. See living alone is okay. As long as you have some form of communication with some people. Even if they are a handful of good people. See the old ages are gone where you used to have penfriends, where you write letters and communicate with each other over months. Now we are in a digital age. I'm sure you are talking to people somehow someway.

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blr123
Posted On Feb 13, 2020 - 02:53 AM

AlwaysLusty09--a great topic to start a thread...
The drive to meet guys among gays/bi/CD/Transgender is very high,so the concept of a stable companion is very less in middle class/upper middle class educated India.
Even Karan in Made In Heaven was a loner in his 30s--having random hook ups & very straight acting--which is a great depiction of SINGLE gay men in our country.
Forget the NEED BASED ASSOCIATION of the Indian Fashion Designers with their Desi/Videshi partners--with WOW pics in Insta & some glossy fashion magazines--they don't lead our Lives !and may be there also they end up hooking up with other young male models/aspirants !
Infidelity, hollow promises, false commitments will be the norm--am sure in other countries too its the same...
Once you are say in 40s--loneliness will surely set in and Travel alone to exotic locations India/Abroad will be the norm with no major liabilities & a good disposable income--that's when young promising (false promises!) boys in 20s wanna play Daddy Daddy with you, so that they can live off your luxuries (hard earned) & they can be just obliging *** cats for you !
Am not be pessimistic or negative just reflecting the current times we live in..
Have a Great Valentines Day---all of should love yourself 1st :)

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dingdong
Posted On Feb 13, 2020 - 02:54 AM

Being alone is nothing to do with sexual orientation. Agree there is a respect for certain sexual orientation. Doest mean it will lead anyone to be alone. It is totally depending on the individual. Apart from ***, anyone can always have their friends circle depends on their capacity and capability in maintaining small or big. That's no way related to orientation. Why to go to movie alone.. why to travel alone... why to be alone? This is all fine till certain age.. but without a partner/supporting friends, what anyone will achieve in their life? Privacy and loneliness are required for anyone to relax and realize about themselves. but not always...

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versatileec
Posted On Feb 13, 2020 - 05:09 AM

Nice and relevant thread. At 28yrs of age now, and being single(and will be single), I learnt to live alone, walk alone, travel alone, eat alone. I don't know if this is normal for many gay men in our community, it just happened to me and I wished to be living a life like this way, which brought me lot of inner peace and gave me self confidence. Being an ambivert for social needs, I always inclined to a life lead alone. It doesn't necessarily mean I avoided straight friends, it's just that I just didn't get any comfort being amidst them.

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rajron
Posted On Feb 13, 2020 - 06:43 AM

Nice and interesting thread which leaves me with many emotions quite diverse at same time.. love empathy anger and hatred. I'm bi and married .. but still there is part in me which is looking for ltr.. it starts with hook ups and generally ends there. It is quite interesting, we say love is heart to heart but it starts with pic and ends in bed , mostly one night. Difficult to find a good soul, with whom I can commit, who understands what it takes to be bi and likable in all respects .. is it too much expectations. or too little.. but difficult to find even one in country of 1.3 BN..

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nudist_host4u
Posted On Feb 13, 2020 - 07:11 AM

"The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence"...!

I used to have a lots of friends who would constantly ask me to come out for meeting, playing etc., At that time I thought being alone was better so that I can focus on what I like rather than doing what my friends like...

Now I'm a lonely guy coz I lost all friends after shifting to other town. I kinda liked this in the beginning coz I could do whatever I want without having anyone to judge me. But, the truth is I feel like it was better to have friends now.

I know that if I have friends now, again I will feel that it would be better if I am alone. That's why I said the grass is always greener on the other side. It has nothing to do with our sexuality I feel.

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Unimate
Posted On Feb 13, 2020 - 07:34 AM

Unfortunately, it's true that gays remain a loner ( except barring a few). I have met guys who just dont like to commit. It's difficult for them. Also there aren't many who wish to as well. Like any other relationship, gays too have preferences and it's not easy to pick n choose. Very few instances are heard of getting a match.
I have moved to different places hoping i will find one but never did. So guess being lone is both a boon and a bane. It haunts you at your most depressing times and happy when you live your life the way you want to. Life is concoction of both isn't it ironically, you choose one but you also have to live with the other.

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Sabave
Posted On Feb 13, 2020 - 09:22 AM

I am at 40. Married guy. Have 2 kids. I used to meet lot of guys secretly. Even I try to meet today. But at this age, definitely my priority has changed. Personal health has become more important than anything else now. Health, work, family and kids future, financial planning, visiting to take care of aged parents, contributing to some of the social causes has become priority. When I am alone, the devil in me wakes up and i login to grindr to look for guys to hookup. But I have never felt the need to be alone.

I know my case is different and there is no one size fits all. Point is as you age, its important to get the priorities right, then I dont think being alone matters irrespective of your sexuality.

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Daniel_M1900
Posted On Feb 13, 2020 - 09:29 AM

@blr23

I would like to correct you here.... Not all men in 20s make false promises nor everyone wants to play daddy daddy to live off their luxuries

I'm 28 and I prefer to meet mature gay/bi men above 40..... I have met many mature guys but never ever taken any monetary help....

I personally feel taking any monetary help is like losing DIGNITY.


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MayankWhitefiel
Posted On Feb 13, 2020 - 09:39 AM

@Sabave - thats how 90 percent of the married bisexual guys life look like

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Daniel_M1900
Posted On Feb 13, 2020 - 09:41 AM

@Everyone

Let's face the fact.... It's not only about feeling lonely

Imagine you're in 50s/60s Single and living alone and all of a sudden you met in an accident and get fracture OR if person falls sick let it be any age 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s and so on.... they need someone's help to take you to doctor... give medicines and help for other daily chores....

Can't rely on maid much


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AlwaysLusty09
Posted On Feb 13, 2020 - 10:01 AM

Wow guys I wasn't expecting such a response to this thread. Thanks for your comments.

Karan from Made in Heaven was only in reference to the way he carries himself, not typical gay behaviour often associated, that's it.

By being alone I never said that I don't want any friends, I mention keeping the circle low.

For me being alone, spending time with myself whenever it is possible. And yes thankfully I've made some good community connections in the past 1 year. I am thankful for them being in my life coz I am my trueself with them.

Keep the comments flowing people. :D

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CluelessHubby
Posted On Feb 13, 2020 - 12:28 PM

Once you realise that the yardsticks of the hetero world don't apply to you, you automatically begin to distance a bit.

The realisation that unconditional acceptance didn't even come from biological family, automatically kills the need of external validation.

Honestly, most homosexuals are honest enough in identifying their NSA intentions, so the need for emotional support doesn't stand in way either.

However, in absence of a spiritual outlook, the constant insecurity arising from loneliness can be crippling.

Solitude is a happy feeling. Loneliness isn't.

I do feel affection flowing out for people around me- those I'm out to, those I'm not out to, those who're mine but didn't accept me, not mine but accepted me, but life doesn't feel incomplete without a human presence beyond transactional exchanges.

Musical instruments, baking material and appliances, a couple of nephews, nieces (and my biological child for as long as possible), a half dozen dogs and god himself are good enough to spend the rest of my time with...

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Samoo7 *
Posted On Feb 13, 2020 - 03:57 PM

I have friends that I enjoy time. But at time I be so alone in life. Been with people still am all alone. After work I miss to talk to some one share my talks. On weekends to spend time talk openly to some one. I will I am all alone. I need a friend like @kingofdesire56 hope to be a friend that we both need. Reply. Thanks Alwayslusty95

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WinterComing
Posted On Feb 13, 2020 - 04:37 PM

Nice topic. I m alone
I m 32 and unable to take decision to b alone or to get marry.
Even my colleagues(as they dnt knw I like men's) use to tell me that to get marry as after 40 it's very hard to be alone now I can make my time to pass but can't be the same after 40.
As in our society we not having place to express this gay feeling openly
And I met some guys ,all I met are just want to b physical no one wants to even say hi after get physical once. This type of experience definitely make us not to meet anyone n telling about "we be good friends" it's just a lie.
Now I decided NVR to make frds in working place or in society, all will communicate till they need something from you.
SO BEING ALONE FEEL GOOD TO ME. but same time it hurts also😒😞

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vishwa_one
Posted On Feb 13, 2020 - 04:46 PM

All alone.. sometimes happy sometimes it hurts when people around me speak about their child and wife romance..

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kingofdesire56
Posted On Feb 13, 2020 - 04:55 PM

@WinterComing,

You need to find better friends then. Someone whom you can talk to freely. And no like the people whom you have described and met. I am sure if you look around you will be able to find at least one person whom you can confide in, talk to freely. Just be patient and take your time.

@Vishwa_one

You really don't need to suppress your feelings. And don't get hurt when others talk to you about those things. Don't worry something good will happen with you. It might take time. As I said before as well, you're just feeling more sad because you're alone. Loneliness and solitude will do that to you. So find someone to talk to. If youre able to talk to someone about your feelings and the things that are on your mind you will feel a lot better. Trust me. It helps.

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sunil1990
Posted On Feb 13, 2020 - 05:35 PM

It's not easy to be alone once we reach thirty. Not just because of the loneliness but also because of the sheer number of questions we are bombarded with about marriage. Particularly so when we are well settled and yet single. It will be extremely difficult to be single after certain point of time. It's not healthy both for mind and body. And our society is not yet matured to accept gay marriages. So we are pretty much in a limbo. But seeing so many homosexuals in public space it can be safely assumed that a huge section of population is leading an unsatisfied dual life.

Am 30. Well settled professionally. Dealing with marriage proposals is the most difficult thing for me . Have to come up with new reason for rejection every time. And yeah it's too difficult to find people who think on the same lines. Though it takes lots of courage and conviction to sustain a gay marriage against the social stigma, atleast having long term friendship shout not be difficult. I am yet to find a good friend. Though I don't feel lonely, I don't think I can stay single forever for emotional and social reasons.

Hope things change in future.

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Exotic1234
Posted On Feb 13, 2020 - 06:51 PM

@cluelesshubby - I love the way you write but I sense a lot of loneliness in whatever you have expressed. While you say people around you are enough it appears that you are secretly hoping some Mr Right will turn up in your life sometime and I do hope and pray it happens soon.

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Exotic1234
Posted On Feb 13, 2020 - 06:59 PM

@nudisthost4u- you are absolutely right its always appears that the grass is green on the other side. However the truth is the grass is green only where you water it.
You escaped your friends coz you wanted privacy, now that you have privacy you feel lonely and empty without your friends. However I think your sense of satisfaction will come only when you step back and think clearly about what makes you happy, what is it that you are looking for? Trust me its always easier said than done. Most of us are chasing the elusive rainbow we dont know what really makes.us happy we only go by the norms that the society has defined for happiness viz good grades good college, good job, settling abroad, good wife etc etc. Very few have the guts to pursue what makes them happy so.we stop thinking about it altogether and allow the society to feed our thoughts

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Exotic1234
Posted On Feb 13, 2020 - 07:13 PM

People who are referring to Karan from Made in Heaven, if you have watched all the episodes its clear in the Episode9 and the hottest episode in the series that Karan was not happy with the one night stands and the random hook ups. This was his coping mechanism to escape the loneliness and depression. It also appears he has a deep sense of guilt about how he treated his childhood friend and shamed him. Once he meets his childhood friend (superhot actor) and makes love he realizes how much he wants to be with him. During my travels out of country I have met so many single gay men especially in the wrong side if forties, while they have all the freedom i always find them terribly lonely and looking for companionship. We should count ourselves lucky for being born in India. The fabric of culture, family, friends and relatives is still a lot better here. Even when you walk the streets and you genuinely want to socialise our society has people who will be willing to talk to you and exchange pleasantries. But in the Western world no one talks to anyone they are too much about themselves and loneliness there can be a curse.

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Doorellin007
Posted On Feb 13, 2020 - 07:55 PM

With all the thoughts pouring in.. I feel compelled to put across mine.
What I wanna say is totally based upon my experience with fellow mates so far and I only intent to help and try solve this mystery.

Being male and gay is kinda deadly concoction.. for most of us, it's not too difficult to find a *** partner unless you have certain reservations. But then, what's after and in between *** hours??

Your priorities define who you're and not your sexuality. Is your priority being famous and rich... Is your priority being successful in your Career or what you like to do... Is your priority your Family or Friends... The point is, being alone or feeling lonely is a state of mind. One can be alone in a crowded room or feel complete being alone. It's up to you how you decide and who you decide to be happy with.

Unfortunately, Prince charmings or that Hotty are a very few compared to the Ratio we stand in. So the choice is yours, you can either wait for as long as you stand a chance or you can commit and try your best to eatablish a bond with the next humble and caring human you meet, either for a relationship or for a friendship. Which I can assure you will never let you feel alone unless you don't believe in yourself πŸ€—

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WinterComing
Posted On Feb 13, 2020 - 08:46 PM

@kingofdesire56

Thanks, I wish I will get that one friend with whom I can talk have good relationship and gd time.
it's been 3years on the dating site yet not got all whom I met they just banged me and showed there backs.
Let's keep searching πŸ‘€πŸ‘¬πŸ’‘

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Choxy
Posted On Feb 13, 2020 - 09:46 PM

I never had any gay friend to express my feelings or share my thoughts what I feel or what goes in my mind, I'm always scared about my future about the responsibilities and lack of interest in straight marriages right now I might be young and take everything easy but after I cross 30 I definitely don't want to lead a life which is really complicated and pressurized and being gay always makes me feel alone like hell 😭😭 I've had countless nights with my pillow drenched in tears because of this life

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Monte carlo
Posted On Feb 14, 2020 - 12:34 AM

I would not agree as in this gay world u can make a lot of friends n stay in touch not everyone is looking for only fun & lust there are guys in this field who are there to be ur friend in ur life for lifetime. I know it's not that easy to do all this but it's upon us to decide how to control and maintain ur friendship. I personally follow this kind & I m quite happy n glad about it.

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Samiraboiling
Posted On Feb 14, 2020 - 12:55 AM

Ya i would say they are..in my perspective..I found I have interest in men that too in bottom side when my classmate and my chacha had with me..and my classmate in class 8 made me to wear his Didi clothes and I walked ramp walk for him and stripped...and that thing which I couldn't tell anyone...then going to mature men visitor to Delhi to hotels or homes hooked up via Yahoo chatrooms or manjam or pr Romeo saying parents that u staying in friends home....to go out on trips alone so that you could b urself ..u could dress yourself....I used to tell parents I m going out ...and coz I couldn't share to anyone I used to stay in hotel only ND hook up with guys in same city or go out on trip with men to cities as their bitch... associated with tgs community lived with them and you burn yourself that why you can't b with them anytime *** anytime female coz you hv family responsibility....we guys are loners....

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Samiraboiling
Posted On Feb 14, 2020 - 01:16 AM

I was into relationship with a man lived with him as his wife completely for almost 18 months..travelled to places had all kinds of sexapades with each other ..but as my feelings I couldn't share with him as he only wanted my body my *** my moobs.. and flash them to his brothers or friends ND offer me to them....I adjusted myself..I got myself or say I me myself when I lived with tgs where I don't HV to act..thy understood me..thy had ears for me..apart from my responsibilities of family thy accepted me who I am ..it's difficult to find nice frnds who knows both side of you and treat u same way no matter we are legal or not.

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Tista V.
Posted On Feb 14, 2020 - 04:20 AM

I have couple of boyfriends who come and stay with me, whenever they are visiting Goa. They all are mature men, who have families back home and well to do in their professional lives. They have accepted my polyamory nature and we are open to each-other's desires/fantasies as well as kink. I being a bottom loves being dominated and pampered, but at the same time I do not accept monetary help from the men.

Most of the time I like to stay alone as it gives me great freedom to do what I want to do. But then at times I do feel that it would have been better to be in a relationship with one man, who would "own" me and wear me out.

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Rajcute
Posted On Feb 14, 2020 - 07:25 AM

Yes this prob is more compounded in countries like India. Western countries we can see so many guys as lovers and that too good looking. Here it’s so diff to find both a good looking guy n a lover. I mean I m trying since ages inspite of me goodlooks but not found a single bf lover.

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CluelessHubby
Posted On Feb 14, 2020 - 12:17 PM

Say what, with 377 gone, we must mobilise volunteers and resources to openly support LGBT veterans/seniors in twilight years. Not entirely nonprofit, but we must consider having a system for visits to the elderly and ailing- I'm seriously considering saving up for my own retirement once my financial obligations to my biological family are over.

However unwelcome loneliness is, we must learn to accept it. Only then we'll be able to build a workable life around loneliness.

Our families not accepting us in entirety.
is the same as
We Ourselves not accepting loneliness in its entirety.

Loneliness is full of opportunities for loving and pampering yourself like you never could.
Build your hobbies.
Volunteer for an animal hospital or any cause you love.
Find like-minded people.
Work out for as long as your bodies allow.
Not only you'll feel great, look great, but A hot old man will find more keen helpers than just a dadaji. Heheh.)
With noone checking your in and out times, there's a lot, LOT more one can do than a soul tied to a nine-to-five, weekend-cleaning, Sunday-ko-sharmaji-ke-bete-ki-shaadi schedule.

β™₯

Have faith in the unknown. Even in what seems a zenith or a downhill spiral, he has plans for you.

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Daniel_M1900
Posted On Feb 14, 2020 - 12:51 PM

@CluelessHubby

I completely agree with you.... It's very necessary to keep our self busy in some or the other activity

There are many senior citizens who are looking for employment or already employed at nominal cost.... Not to earn money but to keep themselves busy.

There's a saying "AN IDEAL MIND IS DEVIL'S WORKSHOP"


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daddyseeker
Posted On Feb 15, 2020 - 02:07 AM

Humans are social animals. Irrespective of sexuality.
1.if it helps, i m bi married (more inclined towards men).
There are reports that married men( excluding marriages with always argument- fighting) live longer, better than single : https://www.health.harvard.edu/mens-health/marriage-and-mens-health
2.
Like you have homosexual, hetero, two more category: self interested, swanandi- and asexual(not look for ***)Swa anandi- they seek pleasure in self, love self.may be fondling, mastrubation.love engrossed in reading books, watch movies, everything else normal.
3.
Also, i always wonder how great people like abdul kalam could manage to stay alone. Must hv lot of will power.

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Bothere
Posted On Feb 15, 2020 - 07:43 AM

Has anyone here watched the assassination of Versace, American crime story. It's intriguing and puts forth a lot of our lives into light who are closeted or not so closeted

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letsfuck
Posted On Feb 15, 2020 - 08:18 AM

It is so heartening to see a thread like this on a gay cruising website. God bless abolishing sec 377. I can literally see things changing drastically in the community. I see many young people clearly looking to date and head for a committed relationship. So it is definitely going to only improve.

I am almost 40 and have tried to find a partner but we all know how that works out. I don't want to dwell into that because I know for.me and fellow gay men things are changing only for the good. There is more acceptance even within the community which is far more crucial than getting it outside.

I had started a thread in one of the Facebook gay groups about a similar topic. I was worried how I would take care of myself when I am.old. That's when we need support . And givemt he dating scenario and thinking of the worst situation how do we deal with that situation. One of the most important thing is to be financially secure. That will give us a lot of relief. However what will happen when we need to be taken care of ?

One of the solutions is to have a closed knit social circle or group of gay friends whom you can trust during these times. And to take care of each other. This is a work in progress and we need to start thinking about this right now so we can be prepared for the golden years. One of the solutions is to have a neighborhood for the LGBT community to forma sort of support system. I believe this is happening in the west.

I would like to end by saying that I am open to gay friends here. We can meet for coffee and hang out or do activities together. We can be friends and who knows form a binding that will.last a lifetime where we can support each other when we need it.

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Peachypie
Posted On Feb 15, 2020 - 02:22 PM

It's upto you how you define if a gay is loner or not. The thing is you can't define it in a single sentence or way. Say for example you are a a closet gay/ bi and you have a good friend circle , you hangout with them often ( but they don't know you are gay). Does that makes you a loner somewhat yes but not entirely because you want someone in your life with infront of whom you can be truly who you are, with whom you can share those moments, emotionally as well as physically.

I'm bisexual inclined towards mature/ older man than me but not strictly I go by this. I haven't found any person who is realible infront whom you can your desire or tell who your are truly. Even on daring sites like ohmojo, planet Romeo I have came across many people , have chatted with them , spoken over the phone but everyone seems to be interested in one night stand. People don't understand your emotions and support you for the longer time they don't even want friendship.

Also Indian society in esp in small towns being a gay or bi is seen as a tabboo a sin, so people are afraid to tell anyone. Also these things are even used against the people for blackmaiil and other stuffs.
All these things make them partial loner, loner from emotional side.

Even I wish I have a person with whom I can share some carefree moments where I can be myself and he can be himself , some moments some time to spend together away from the Hassel of this world where could meet from time to time but I guess it's not possible as people are not looking for ling term but only one night stand and are *** oriented.

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Akash1433
Posted On Feb 16, 2020 - 12:31 PM

Hi alwaylusy09, I too a lonewolf and as u mentioned and I go for booze alone. It's our own wish to be like that.But in India, we should have some support once we cross 50-60 years of age. Let's have healthy friendship( other than of *** relations) and family bonding, if possible. Being without marrying a woman ( in case of bi) will give u freedom and time to spend for yourself. Please love yourself, enjoy yourself, travel a lot. Love the things what u do. Best of luck dear

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nayaladka
Posted On Feb 16, 2020 - 07:21 PM

I think there is a difference between loner and lonely. Loner wants to be alone, lonely doesn't. I have been lonely for some time, some how nothing works out.
i am in mumbai, 32 and chubby. if anyone want to meet for non sexual chats, drinks, food, walks or anything. age/looks no bar. please message me

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