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Are gay guys loner? #ComingOfAge


Submitted by AlwaysLusty09 Location: All India (All India, India)

I identify myself as a straight acting gay, just like Karan from Made in Heaven. I mean no direspect to fellow community members who are into cd or drag stuff; it's their life, their choice.

I am sort of a lone wolf; I sometimes go to watch movies alone, I like eating alone, I love to travel solo, even in my free times I prefer sitting alone and reading my books.

Is it just with me or LGBTQ community members, when they cross a certain age limit (say 25) become more mature, aware about their trueselves? Like living alone is better, having a limited circle of good friends instead of thousands is easy to maintain, alone time is always fun, etc.

What are you views on this? Maybe we can call it our Coming Of Age.

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Displaying 101 to 113 of 113 comments.
Previous comments: 1  2  3  

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AlwaysLusty09
Posted On Jun 4, 2020 - 03:01 AM

@Valentine I think biggest issue is coming out. A lot of people genuinely desire a relationship. But rarely it happens that two guy live together throughout the life as friends to the world. At some point, one or the other feels like coming out the lie and live normally.

That is where the relationship faces death because the other person may not be interested in coming out. Not because he is ashamed of his partner but he is worried what people will think about him and his family.

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C4LEB
Posted On Jun 4, 2020 - 08:21 AM

I was with my last partner for 23 years. But I'm not Indian and it was in Australia - no full on family pressure. It can work, but not in secrecy.

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Raghu_friendly
Posted On Jun 4, 2020 - 08:51 AM

@valentines. As a 31 year guy who has been shy all these years and hiding my feelings within myself is suffocating. Additionally I am unable to coming out as well. Will be really happy to get a like minded guy else as u mentioned being single sounds good. Am a loner and confused as well - well, my post itself may be a proof to it

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Oni17
Posted On Jun 4, 2020 - 10:32 AM

all this is only because we all look for *** first, their are no talks apart from that. all of us , want guy only if we are *** , and rest of time we prefer to behave like st8 ones.

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Nkv2020
Posted On Jun 4, 2020 - 10:46 AM

@Oni17 truly said..because most of us are concerned with our privacy and we don't let our internal feeling come out..Though its legal in india but its still sin as per society. and it will take almost decades and decades to get used to with homosexuality.

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tsamaranai
Posted On Jun 5, 2020 - 01:35 AM

@Oni17 โ€œwe allโ€ ? You sure about that? Speak for yourself please. Unless you have talked to all the gay people.

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Valentine_1984
Posted On Jun 5, 2020 - 05:34 PM

@AlwaysLusty - Well it was not about coming out. It's about the relationship as such. We both are already living independently ( away from our families). We both decided to be in the closet since we didn't want our family members to be burdened. We are living and working in different part of the city in our respective homes. He said this relationship doesn't let him be to be the person he is.

He says he wants to daily talk to me at least for few mins but if I expect the same, he says this relationship is demanding and it's suffocating. When I suggested to call off he says he wants to be a friends and if possible friends with benefits.

I don't understand, if it's hook up why give a pretext of friendship to it. I would rather be alone and have NSA hookups instead of this..

Anyways after a ugly spat, I said I am breaking off this relationship and don't wish any pretext of friendship or any tags to it..

It's called off.. And I choose my LONELINESS rather than living a lie or convincing me into one.

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Valentine_1984
Posted On Jun 5, 2020 - 05:43 PM

@Raghu_friendly - Likeminded partners are a rarerity. In any relationship be it's straight or homo, it is always about embracing our differences and respecting your partners's choices and striking a balance will only make any relationship work.

Be it within closet or open or whatever. End of the day, the relationship should be true and mutual. Not *** in the name of relationship or vice.

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Valentine_1984
Posted On Jun 5, 2020 - 05:47 PM

@Oni17 - Yes I had to agree to you. In what was supposed to be our patch up talk, my ex said he can be as a good friend of me that would no way bother his routine life and *** can also happen.

I felt rather being an emotional puppet and *** toy for someone's sexual desire, I wanted to walk with atleast some left over dignity of mine and called it off.

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Pandi1980
Posted On Jun 5, 2020 - 11:43 PM

@valentine - Really proud of you my dear friend (personally). The whole credits lies for this sentence "I called off with my dignity". I have came across few good couples in Europe. When *** or bed predominates our love, at that point the relationship dies. I agree that *** would boost our relationship and bonding but it shouldn't be the point to start our relationship. In regards of taking the choice of go with loneliness lies with us. Not all relationship will work out for sure that too in gay life it takes time. We are bound to many criterias in India such as Family, society, privacy, secrecy. It takes time to get rid of your permanent loneliness unless u find a right man. At this moment, I suggest you to feel that you have so many friends around you who likes you without any expectations. It can be your straight or gay friends. Spend your time with them. Don't feel lonely. Your man is on the way. When the right time comes, he will knock at your door to be a solution to get rid of your loneliness temporarily. Be hopeful. You deserve better da โค๏ธ. I know you personally so I can strongly say that all your ex boy friends missed a valuable guy like you. They may or may not tell you personally in future but they will surely think that they made a bigger mistake when they realise the important facts of loving someone unconditionally.

Cheer up buddy ๐Ÿ˜Ž Get ready for your new experience which awaits you sponsered by life ๐Ÿ˜„

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Triumph *
Posted On Jun 6, 2020 - 03:42 AM

@pandi1980. The need of the hour is friends like you who can boost confidence.

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Triumph *
Posted On Jun 6, 2020 - 03:46 AM

Most guys in our community seek monetary help from elders. Instead they can't earn and be independent ha. There shouldnt be any expectations from anyone either. Except for emotional and mutual respect.

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Valentine_1984
Posted On Jun 6, 2020 - 10:15 AM

@Pandi1980 - Thanks for those comforting words. To be honest, I don't feel walking out of this and choosing my loneliness. Infact I am satisfied I made a wise choice.

As to the context, most gays are loners since that's the best option they could get since finding the right man is a rarity and so are other pressing external factors like family, friends & society.

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