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Mental Health - Depression - Procrastination

Submitted by Mambojambo Location: All India (All India, India)

Mental health is the most critical part and sadly most neglected part of our well being. It plays the foremost part in effecting our day to day life and eventually our physical well being, but worst part of it is the person is least aware he has this ailment.

Sadly Depression, one of most common mental ailment (especially to LGBTQ polupation) doesnt come alone. Procrastination, the chronic habit of not doing any tasks now and keep postponing stuff comes with it as depression takes away the joy of doing activities you usually used to love.

Procrastination starts affecting your family, your job your life and as you see everyone race ahead and you stuck in mirth, you simply give up and life goes on an autopilot non stop spiral down.

LGBT population needs mental support and there are few helpline available which were immensely useful. Will check if they are still available post lockdown.

Meanwhile do you have any self stories on how these mental issues affected your or your known ones... and any success stories? Would prefer avoiding bookish knowledge as they seldom help

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Displaying 1 to 22 of 22 comments.

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Posted On Feb 21, 2022 - 06:29 PM

Thank you for posting this one. ❤️ Needed this badly.

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Shaan Reddy
Posted On Feb 21, 2022 - 06:40 PM

Thanks a lot for initiating this topic.

At times, I feel I am in depression as I totally keep procrastinating all my planned tasks. This is happening more often than not and end up feeling low when I head to bed (around this time) as I couldn't do any of the tasks I planned at the beginning of the day. After reading this post, I can completely relate to my situation and I feel that I may need some counselling for me to get out of it. Any suggestions will be of great help. Looking forward to hearing from the fellow Ohmojians and the guidance for me to come out of it.

First of all, I am not sure if I need to be worried or no.

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Posted On Feb 21, 2022 - 07:26 PM

Thanks for bringing this up.

I constantly feel the need to more with my life but end up procrastinating or thinking about things that don’t matter.

I am not able to take things out of mind even if it’s as silly as one time encounter or anything like that. I start obsessing about lamest of people when I even slightly get a vibe that they are not into me. Such things keep bugging my mind, stopping me from doing productive work and hence I become more anxious about the pending tasks my future. But still not able to get few trivial things and people out of mind

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Posted On Feb 22, 2022 - 05:18 AM

To save yourselves from procrastination.....

List and write the things to be done on a paper, in priority sequence,...

And keep on updating the list as the job is done

One day you will find yourselves, to be out of the habit of procrastination.

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Posted On Feb 22, 2022 - 05:30 AM

A very nice and important topic.

We are need to understand that most of us are discreet and not out or my be out to few close friends. We humans are basically emotional. We always need a support group to share. If we have a strong group of like minded people where we can share our thoughts we will feel much better. This my sound insignificant. But we do require some friends whom we can trust and who will not judge us. This can be of great help.

The Oh Mojo platform is very good one to get in touch with like minded people from community. We can chat with people from our community, get to know more people and ultimately get some good friends. We are need some close person who know what we are and we should also be secured that our identity will not be revealed.

If this happens, to my mind, the chances of such depression and consequential effects will be minimal.

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Posted On Feb 22, 2022 - 05:51 AM

I feel to have a good mental health for us..there should be organised meets regularly with a close knit group that is comfortable with each other. The meets should be basically purposeless so that there is natural progression on discussions where everyone is comfortable. We talk qbout what everyone does in life..how do they feel about doing the thing they do..

Keeping the meet without any agenda woll help us to slowly shed our inhibitions and people can tkae their own time to adjust which might be the first step.

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Posted On Feb 22, 2022 - 06:28 AM

mm may b this is a good idea . just like foreign people hav chat discussion meets for rehab people ..2 days sober etc etc ..so ours not about leaving our gay life or whatever but a normal discussion to vent out ..where other thn *** we could b a little bit professional but transparent witout dual life ..just a thought ....as no body wan to hamper their other life ..so in respectful manner

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Shaan Reddy
Posted On Feb 22, 2022 - 06:28 AM

I agree with @sameer143347.. We should have such group and this site is doing good job in bringing like minded folks together..

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Posted On Feb 22, 2022 - 06:46 AM

Yeah. Same here
I have found my partner here to discuss my doubts feelings and outspoken of my inner voice. Everybody should have one like that atleast to share what we feel.

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Posted On Feb 22, 2022 - 12:16 PM

We are not so lucky @bulletboy

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Posted On Feb 25, 2022 - 08:00 AM

Its very important that we invest in relation. Whatever it can be, friends, family members, any one. I have traveled across and have also met few psychiatrists abroad. They can take care of you but not for long. Only good friend or a family member can play that part. Somebody whom you can talk to on whatever topic you wish.

I have a friend. He is straight but knows about my orientation. Its nothing sexual, but he listens to every crap of mine and help me out. Its definitely nonreciprocal.

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Posted On Feb 26, 2022 - 04:38 AM

As per my previous experience of this forum, posting your story or thoughts will be questionable from people of this forum only. So many judgements and unnecessary cross questioning. But I really really appreciate owner of this post. This is very important to talk while we have mental health issues. And definitely most of people either belong to LGBTQ or not have mental health issues. Few people identify for themselves few never even want to understand they have this issue. I was in phase of my life almost for 3 months where I was mentally depressed and so had susidial tendency. But I gave chance to myself, come in touch with one person who helped me to understand my issue ans to resolve somehow. I am happy and feeling mentally healthy now. Only want to pass on message to all here. All problem have solution sooner or later. Keep patient, Share talk and comeout from situation.

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Posted On Mar 3, 2022 - 01:44 PM

Well, in this selfish world, no 1 is true.. each guys wnt some thing free. The guys who call them top they think god has given them horn..they feel bootom shuld arrange plc .give money to them.. nd all

Its difficult to find a frnd. A good frnd is solution for depression. We are lonely.. we want some 1 to heart out .
But here we have top bot system..in abroad they have only gay term.. no top or bottom..
If a guy likes a guy he i gay..

Forum meetings all will not wrk. As no 1 is ready to meet nd talk nd go out..all are married thry are tied up fake relationship of marriage kids nd all

Come out meet make frbds spend time together

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Posted On Apr 15, 2022 - 06:26 AM

Really glad that this topic has been initiated. I read similar kind of topic in this platform.

I have been depression and anxiety for little over 10 years now. Taking unplanned leaves for weeks and those weeks I would be laying bed mostly, doesnt shower or brush etc. It was very very hard to get out of the bed. Like I was carrying a huge load of weight. Also I often overthink that I dont have any purpose in my life. Behaviour like this cost me a job nearly. Still struggling. Indulging in drinks and other other unwanted addictions. Creating more complexity in myself.

I know many are struggling and finding a way to get themself out of it. But I don't have any clue on this. Just think about how my life would be after my mom's itself create a enormourse chaose in me. So I just think about current day and survive. That's all.

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Posted On Apr 15, 2022 - 06:33 AM

@kani2707 this is a common problem, anxiety and depression nowadays, some recognise and some don’t, you have to be careful of not spending too much time alone keep yourself busy and identifies activities which gives you mental satisfaction. try find good listening ear and there are many therapist available try to go for counselling also and get a treatment because these things are very useful. Life is precious, live it to create good memories.

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Posted On Apr 15, 2022 - 07:41 AM

Take little sun light in the morning, little running, exercise and join meditation programs, I can help u with connecting with teachers who teach meditation programs. These all issues can be solved with life style change

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ToBeFreeinLyf *
Posted On Apr 17, 2022 - 08:37 AM

I would say running or just walking helps. I've personally struggled with it for years and going for a run boosts your mental health like anything. Then again, it can't help to cure it. It's just a temporary fix before things go haywire.

A permanent fix is something that you gotta work out for yourself, like a schedule to make sure that you keep yourself going. Ain't gonna be easy, gonna be the toughest battle you'd have ever fought but you come out on the other side, you'll be stronger that ever!

Keep going:) You can do it!

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Posted On Apr 20, 2022 - 09:01 AM

Great Topic! Queer community suffers from an inordinate amount of mental health issues due to a variety of challenges, right from family/community acceptance, workplace acceptance/pressures, difficultly in finding partners, body shaming and judgement, unrealistic expectations wrt *** and so many other issues. it's no wonder that most of us have several confidence and self worth issues.

While it's very easy to say, We should all be together and stand in solidarity, in reality it never happens. I've lived in Bangalore long enough to know that friendships are also transcient. Having said this, is life difficult? yes, but can
it be overcome. For sure.

It's great to read some of the comments in this thread. Which I will echo and sorry if it sounds a bit lecturing. But i wish i had such advice when i was younger...

-First and foremost is self acceptance - Stop the self pitying and accept you are gay, you are fabulous and special. believe in it! -I look at instagram and facebook and I have lost count of the no of gay couples I see, it is encouraging to see this.

-BASED ON YOUR CIRCUMSTANCES, please come out to your loved ones and colleagues, it takes a huge burden of your shoulder. being in the closet is such a waste of energy and a huge stress. Sure folks will be dissapointed, from parents to neighbours to roadside aunty will have an opinion your marriage. they will come around eventually, as long as you are strong.

-While not uniform accross, most organizations/mncs and even indian companies are getting more diverse and inclusive. take advantage of that

-Value yourself and time. Grindr/Apps are necessary evils, but let it not dictate your time and energy. Schedule your online/app hours and spend remaining time working, working out, do yoga/pranayama, creative hobbies, volunteering. Ensure your finances are in order. these will keep mind active

-if you are depressed - seek help. Do not shy from counselling, this area has grown big time and more and more therapists are aware of LGBT specific issues.

-***, let's face it. its more mental than physical. sometimes we act compulsively and this is out of loneliness. develop a good attitude, dont be coerced into doing something you dont like. while medication/prep is available..the threat of stds, hiv still prevalent, so do be careful. nothing is worth being ill

not wanting to judge, but i see some of the posts on the massage thread and I find it sad that masseurs are being forced to give hj/bj for money etc. Be respectful, else other in the community bear the brunt

some resources (please google or check on instagram/facebook)

Parivarthan - fantastic counselling center
Good as you - one of bengaluru oldest gay support space. find them on facebook and join. they have weekly thrus calls
Bengaluru frontrunners - bengalurufrontrunners (on instagram), a running/walking group who meet sunday morning at cubbon
pridecircle - https://www.thepridecircle.com/ india's biggest job fair/marketplace for lgbt hires (in all honesty this is more suited for freshers to mid level positions)
Amour - a facebook group, which is focused on connecting lgbt folks (its a little old fashioned, like u need to write a bio etc)

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Posted On Apr 20, 2022 - 09:33 AM

Are there any gay /bi counselling pyschologists who help in hyderabad ...im looking for one .

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Posted On Apr 25, 2022 - 02:29 PM

@Pandbeardur - Check this source. It list various healthcare providers for different cities (including Hyderabad). This is a bit dated but still relevant. Unless someone else can provide more accurate info.


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Posted On Apr 25, 2022 - 02:29 PM

PS - If anybody is looking in Pune, then I can tell you few good ones.

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Posted On May 11, 2022 - 04:39 PM

Very interesting and important topic !
Yes thats right! people in LGBT community do deal with depression
I had a friend who was my flatmate for several years
He was the most confused person i had met in my entire life
We both knew about each other so we chose to live together but he was probably so lonely (dont judge me but he was not good in department of looks and people in our community mostly if not all, go by the looks to decide if they want to sleep with someone or not)
He used to target my 🍌 when i was drunk lol
and ofcourse who gives a *** when u r drunk, no one would mind a nice bj but i had no idea what was going on in his mind.. his actions gradually made me feel that he was in one sided love with me and he never admitted it even when he was drunk.. even when i asked him upfront.
Gradually as time passed i had my own friend and relationships and he would feel passively jealous so what he did, he started poisoning my friends and partners against me.. one after another i was dealing with failed relationships all bcoz he was depressed and not happy to see me with someone so he took all possible steps to break me with my acquaintances.
Well i was lucky i got to know the reality later on and now we dont talk to each other at all except hello hi, let alone living together

I am not sure what to feel about him
i feel sad about my friend most of the time
bcoz we had such amazing times on holidays/ vacationing/ clubbing
But i realised my mental health was getting affected bcoz of fights with my partner and the reason was him
so i decided to leave that place and move on in life
and told him to move on himself too
He still wants to meet and connect but sorry i dont want to come under the shadows of someone else’s depression
i have my own life

Depression is deep and real in our community but unlike keeping to urself and
causing damage to others, its way better u talk it out !
A Rejection wont affect ur life that deeply as a suppressed emotion would!