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Unfortunate people in straight marriage


Submitted by anubhav4 Location: All India (All India, India)

Are you gay or bi man who got stuck in straight marriage due any societal pressure? Or are you the one who discovered sexuality much later? Or are you one who was just had to settle in unlucky times when being G/bi was not widely accepted?

Have you come out to your spouse or chose to stay hidden or chosen dual life? If you came out how was their reaction? Did you got support or earned hate.

I am asking this because im the one who feels in such situation when discovered my sexuality much later. i can't deny love for men but i care spouse and have children too. living a dual life sucks.

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Displaying 101 to 125 of 125 comments.
Previous comments: 1  2  3  

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mahesh11 *
Posted On Nov 20, 2021

Rightly said Ravi Vijay and Vicky. Live and let others live. Be happy in whatever we need. Either *** with a girl (wife) or Amy other person, it's absolutely our choice. And moreover if all around us are happy then nothing to worry

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Kumar_Aman
Posted On Nov 21, 2021

I am married, from before marriage I was kind of introduced to this gay life (by accident), actually i was taken advantage of,,,but I alwayd found bottoms, never Tops, thats why I am so inclined to get my *** ***.
much during earlier days I used to be frequent to places like toilets, parks and so many times in busses and rickshaws also.
After marriage it continued on and off,,,but wil lot of guilt afterwards, but never stopped.
but now i satisfy my urge by paying at massage parlours etc.
I have never been attracted to a guy ever, my only weakness is i like getting my *** ***.
that's my story

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ram2001
Posted On Nov 21, 2021

All people who attracted to males never accept it due to social issues.they always call them top or bi.

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Ruhanruhan
Posted On Dec 6, 2021

Unfortunately I am living in india where even a old bottom friend is available for me....
How I miss a man soulmate only I can know....But after all I ake me understood that I am to stay with whatever available with.....
No man is for me in spite of love for him...I don't know who is for me....
Now I think I will have to die without a man friend....Cause I am a family person with 2 kids....
I always attract to man whoever walking on road...
But no one for me here in rajasthan...
After all I am bad luck....

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Loky
Posted On Dec 28, 2021

Every person has to make a choice between security and freedom. For a lot of gay people in straight marriages, it's like a golden cage. It protects them. Keeps you feeling safe. But it confines them. For some it feel like something is killing them slowly. If one is sexually attracted to the same gender, then that is their true nature. Imagine how straight people would feel if they were stuck in a gay marriage? Then, why do gay people feel that they would be happy in a straight marriage? Forcing oneself to be something different from what they truly are is violence against oneself and will cause immense suffering. On the other hand, the path to freedom is also not always a path paved with roses. People who want security will never choose freedom because it puts them in direct contact with the unknown. So make your choice. One must remember that they are free to choose, but they are not free from the consequences of their choice.

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vihit2345
Posted On Jan 5, 2022

@Loky, that is so well put!!!

I have gotten so many weird messages for my posts on this thread , most of them are from “straight” folks on this forum. I am not against guys “trapped” but more importantly I am in favor of those women who did not get to choose (which in your posts reference are the consequences).

Everyone thinks it came easy to me but I had to put all my relations at risk when i came out or married my husband (which was not even virtually attended by my parents). It is not an easy path but that should not deter someone from choosing it.


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biman4u_2020
Posted On Feb 23, 2024

i am also married male in 30s.. have good fit wife .. she found i am bi , kind of caught me by my chats in fb etc ( but i never admitted her openly abt my sexuality).. but sadly she is into such sexual explorations .. most woman r not lke men. for most men,, *** is priority but for most woman ( ther r some excptions) need is love/relation and then ***........... but being somewhat bi,, unable to control my s***Al feelings/ desires.. the desires of being with oher hot woman and men in mfm 3sum etc..... there r some lucky hubbies who get kinky wives..... but sadly most dont get such

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manishgl
Posted On Feb 23, 2024

how i wish there was a movie in this topic. i read about an article on this topic. although its devastating for both the wife accepted the way his hubby was and had to break up but it was European article.

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jaidesai69
Posted On Feb 25, 2024

WHO ARE WE TO JUDGE ANOTHER PERSON?

many of those who are gay and did not have the courage to say 'NO to their parents have taken upon themselves to live a life of lies and that is HARD! we MUST NOT admonish them for that, because we dont know what other factors made them stay quiet. many of the older generation who were gay lived similar guilty lives and had side encounteers to keep their SANITY, yet have brought up respectable families.

what about the wives? if a man can satisfy his wife and take SAFETY precautions with a FEW other men, that should not be a problem. NOBODY IS A SAINT! EVEN STRAIGHT MARRIED MEN CHEAT! would we be comfortable letting our wives get *** by other men...NO. why are we being selfish? there is is differnce between men and women. men mainly want to get STRESS RELIEF. so men having alternate *** is mainly physical with few emotions. women want a person who LOVES/CARES FOR HER. so women get emotionally involved and THAT COULD CREATE PROBLEMS.

counselling: is for people who have lost their love for one another or find the other partner boring. people with different sexual orientations CANNOT BE HELPED AS IT IS INGRAINED IN THEIR BRAINS AND NOTHING CAN CHANGE THAT!

if men cannot satisfy a woman, NO MARRIAGE! YOU MUST NOT RUIN ANOTHERS LIFE!

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Nangubot
Posted On Feb 25, 2024

I wud think all do want to meet upfront some safe fun in secrecy, and keep to known similarly married men , no harm, why not ,will there be guilt , yes some, my take is go for it Stay away from std.

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SweetJ
Posted On Feb 27, 2024

@manishgl there is a hindi web tv series called "his storyy" about a married gay man

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SweetJ
Posted On Feb 27, 2024

There was a japanese mystery thriller (adapted in the film with Kareena kapoor) where the widow sometimes satisfies her needs by sleeping with married men which I found very interesting.

She prefers married men because it is clear he will be with his wife and not expect more from the affair except physical needs. The other is it is unlikely to be a continuous liason and there wont be unnecessary impractical demands and she will not have any unnecessary burden. The relationship is only and only physical, no unnecessary complications. I found that quite smart.

She is of course does not feel guilty as she is not a home breaker and the affair is not initiated by her but by the man.

I usually dont look for any particular man or married/ divorced/ separated man. Also in short affairs like when I travel I really dont ask if the person is married committed or whatever, and not even their names which are usually fake anyways.
the only issue to watch out for is to not fall in love or have an affair with a married man.

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Longwick
Posted On Feb 28, 2024

I know many bi guys in their late 30s mostly bottom. Most become cucks. Thankfully their wives agreed and now they mostly enjoy together. The thing which matter for marriage is, if ur heart is outside home never make home. And if you got home any reason then totally u have to die for home. Home is as Marriage and Family

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Coolguyindi
Posted On Feb 28, 2024

I don’t think one can generalise this. There are various shades. Those with differently oriented are exposed to this due to circumstances which were beyond their control. They are in to a str8 relationship due to the society compulsions. Some forcibly not venture out and many decide to take solace by going to massage parlours or indeed meet folks online for a one night stand… if someone becomes a cuck, I think this is an extreme case and bordering being a maniac..

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Needfriend45
Posted On Mar 3, 2024

Very good topic . By the way getting married gives a protection in the society . At the same time I think ladies can smell the gay man especially the bottom man . I think even after satisfying the wife life may be miserable. If you married only wife treat u bad or if u don't marry any one can humiliates us even at work place this personal attack based on marital status .
Marriage helps to be part of society helps to not to die alone less loneliness .
What I have written based on my experiences and I don't
generalise . Don't try to fight with me in inbox .
This cuck some how I am not for as I feel family bonds are important.
Btw I can't take insults from women so I m not married . In social life I keep all in arms distance as I don't want any one to comment my life. Of course I feel loneliness . Scared about to die alone . Scared about any one cheating even financially .

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rishim32
Posted On Mar 4, 2024

No need to fear. All of us die alone. If you are attracted to women and get married, you are doomed.

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febege5765
Posted On Mar 5, 2024

There is a lot of bias in the title itself. Not all of them are unfortunate. Some chose to enjoy both the sides, still lead a normal life and enjoy family too.


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Cuddle bear
Posted On Mar 6, 2024

It is scary to imagine living and dying alone. However it is even more scary to imagine getting stuck in a marriage and being the cause of an innocent girl's suffering.
I wish society is more vocal of their support for the LGBT community. A lot of people are actually fine with it but they don't want to speak or to be seen speaking of this taboo subject. If they were more vocal, I think more people would come out to their parents and avoid getting into marriage with a girl.

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Raajiv
Posted On Mar 7, 2024

Imagine being alone in your 60s and above than decide who is unfortunate.

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TheSecretDoctor
Posted On Mar 9, 2024

There are many people who are bisexual (specifically gays) who got married and have children and living life peacefully, but they keep continuing fun outside. I know handful of them personally!

It all depends how you take it.

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TheSecretDoctor
Posted On Mar 9, 2024

Above post I am talking about 'gays' only.

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TheSecretDoctor
Posted On Mar 9, 2024

Kindly strike the word 'bisexual' from the above post.

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jaidesai69
Posted On Mar 11, 2024

@raajiv: married or unmarried.....both can be unfortunate after 60yrs. it is life and we cannot control it, it is called FATE!

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jaidesai69
Posted On Mar 11, 2024

@biman4u 2020: as a younger man still full of hormones, my advice is:
'grass is always greener on the other side'
'a bird in the hand is worth 2 in the bush'
'you cannot have your cake and eat it too'
so, treasure what you have. be thankful you have a GOOD fit wife and who has not objected so far. she may be scared of what gifts you can give her from your lovers. TAKE CARE!

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MilkyGay
Posted On Mar 16, 2024

For all those who are married in a straight relationship but identify themselves as a Gay-

1. You do NOT need to ask for any advice from someone who is NOT in your situation. Especially not from ones who do moral policing while getting laid by 100 random guys themselves. Also, morals that hold good in general circumstances do not necessarily hold good in case of exceptional circumstances.

2. Psycologisys or consellors can not help in this situation.

2. Do not get disheartened thinking that you are the ones who are stuck in this situation. Every gay guy who is not out of the closet yet and not yet happily married as a gay couple are all stuck somewhere. If your wife is not complaining because of lack of ***, you are all good.

3. *** is only a part of married life. Much heavier elements are affection and love for wife and kids. They will be there for you when you enter your ripe age. Then you will be able to get all the emotional support from them and vice versa, and this is what all matters in the end.

4. Imagine being all alone in your ripe age with patents no longer existing and wife and chikdren which do not exist if you chose to remain single. There are pros and cons everywhere. Will the feeling of "out and proud gay single" be able to replace the feeling of "lonely with no one to stand by your side"?

5. If you get ***, watch *** and ***, or get a massage without exchange of fluids.

6. Spirituality, Yoga, meditation, music classes also helps a lot taking the focus to otger things in life.

BELEIVE ME - YOU ARE GOOD AND FORTUNATE AS COMPARED TO MILLIONS OF PEOPLE WHO DO NOT HAVE ANY ONE TO RELY ON, WHO ARE LIVING IN AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP WHO DO NOT HAVE A STABLE CAREER, OR ARE LIVING WITH DISABILITIES.

7. It is YOUR life circumstances, your own specific situation and family background, their thinking, and destiny and fate that has put you in this soecofic situation. Just make the most of it, try to be happy as much as possible. Just remember -- YOU ARE IN A BETTER SITUATION THAN MANY MILLIONS HERE ON EARTH. BE HAPPY.

--

I do not live in india, but I am here in Delhi for 3 more weeks. Up until mow I never had any profile created on any gay website but i have created profile only to answer this wuestion here.

If you (guys in delhi) want to meet, and vent out feelings, have a discussion and want a warm hug, then I am here for you and we csn meet (weekends). Just give me a shout. 😊😊😊❤️🌷

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