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Life of a Bi


Submitted by Doorellin007 Location: All India (All India, India)

Growing up to like the concept of love making also leads to several confusion in few and I was one of them. I couldn't really understand which part was I supposed to play. On one side I liked the smooth silky curvy scent of a woman and on the other side I loved the odour of a man. I never could find a perfect partner or love because you can't keep that up for long. Eventually got married because that seemed "the best" option. But even that didn't last long because I couldn't stay straight for more than 5yrs. And the worst part of this all.. lost all the good friends in this whole process.. because the agonizing truth is.. that it's not easy to trust any friend when you're married.

And there...for many, it's so easy to judge someone or "hate" someone because they are "confused" in life as a Bi. As a Bi, I strongly feel, most Bi's are lonely and they need compassion just as much as anybody else does.

Share your views and love for all those lonely souls out there. Thanks! 🙂

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Displaying 51 to 100 of 113 comments.
Previous comments: 1  2  3  

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Glenlivet23
Posted On May 17, 2021 - 11:57 AM

But also just remember that being bisexual does not give you a free pass to cheat on your married partner.
The victim card played by bisexual married men is the most ridiculous. And if you're truly "Bisexual" and married it means you are equally attracted to both the genders, that is male and female. So you should have no qualms about enjoying your *** life with your woman and not looking for *** with other men outside of the marriage! Anything outside of that is just infidelity. And if you're able to accept your infidelity then carry on with it cause thats your prerogative but don't try to mask your shame of cheating on your partners by blaming it on the society and how sad or lonely you are.

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fucccc.capri
Posted On May 18, 2021 - 05:42 AM

@Glenlivet23...totally board on you with whatever you said, yes we are bi drawn towards both the sexes but marriage is altogether different institution. It is trust and commitment between two individual, when I cheat on my partner by sleeping with either of the sexes it is still called as cheating irrespective of what I or we call it ... and yes however loved you are sometimes you scumb to your bodily urges ... now there is no way to justify it but if you feel you can handle it by giving in to or by not giving into it and yet be comfortable then it's your call ...but whatsoever you do ...think about your partner.

And yes I would be judged by what I am about to say ...but if you are really sleeping outside marriage atleast make sure that you dont connect with person emotionally and dont live any traces to lead it back upto you and know what you are doing ...I know a horrible thing to say.

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NSA_BDSM
Posted On May 18, 2021 - 12:06 PM

How many of the gay bottoms and gay tops are loyal towards on single partner? Just mere marriage doesn't mean that you are now under the morale boundaries. If you are in a relationship, you still cheat on your partner. I have met not one but many such gay bottoms who are in a committed relationship but pleasing and serving other men.
Now coming to the part of Bisexuals, majority of the hatred they receive is because, Gay bottoms have inferiority complex with women. Many have lost their regular tops after bi got married or start their relationship with another gender.
Last, but not least, it is LGBTQ community and not LGTQ, we as a community are already being fighting for acceptability in the society, kindly keep your harsh comments limited to yourself.

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cancan
Posted On May 18, 2021 - 02:23 PM

What we read here is a "Bi Man's" perspective. Who is likely to be sleeping with more men than women or "a woman", his wife.
How about turning tables and understanding their wife's perspective. What if a "Bi" man's wife is also "Bi"? Would her sleeping with other women and/or men be acceptable by the "Bi man"?

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shapeoflove
Posted On May 18, 2021 - 03:52 PM

How does one wrong can justify another? It doesn't matter if it's a gay man or a bisexual person, it's simply wrong to cheat, no matter how harsh it sounds.

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SundarDeshmukh
Posted On May 18, 2021 - 04:50 PM

There are lot of differences in each community, those who are giving a lot “gyan” on bisexual, married, cheating blah blah....
wait for the real age when you will be asked / forced / mentally tortured to get married to girl.
Its hard to deny with the fact that everyone here have some responsibilities towards their parents too. And you can’t deny when there will full on drama rona dhona ....
Only options available are either you get married OR leave your parents/ family and move out leaving all responsibilities.

Yes you can call it as cheating your wife...,
But there is something required to fullfill the urge to have some mental peace too. Most of the married men here are 30+ which means we are from 90’s and by those time no one in india had thought of getting married to same ***.

If you have guts OR support from your parents go get married to a guy.
You will find all your relatives already at a bit of distance.




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SundarDeshmukh
Posted On May 18, 2021 - 04:56 PM

95% of Indian gay (top /bottom) ends with a tag of bi-sexual before or after getting married to a girl.
Life of bisexual men are the real Hell, always at high risk and
Mental pressure.


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Piyush_bot
Posted On May 18, 2021 - 05:26 PM

I would like to add few things...
Man it's really difficult being a bi. You tell it to someone who are not that mature or even knowledgeable persons, the 1st impression is "isko gaand marana pasand hai, gandu hai, gay hai" ye kya baat hui (He likes getting ***, he is a faggot, he is a gay). What man?
I'm telling you the truth jokingly I said pointing to random person who doesn't even exist(and was talking about myself in disguise) that i knew one person who is bisexual and the instant reply was dekho bete bi wi kuch nai hota (look bi wi doesn't exist) and they simply like getting ***(unhe bas gand marwani aati hai). I couldn't speak anything afterwards.

I don't know what am I going to do? I'm utterly confused, I'll probably get married by next year and don't have guts to come out to parents. Coming out is not even an option because they'll simply think I'm gay, even gay is not that known word in our side. It's either chakka or gandu. *** man...

Sometimes I think I'll let know the girl that I'm bi before getting married but I know what's going to happen afterwards. Indian system is not that progressive as for 99% people there are only 3 things chakka, gandu or hizda...and accordingly I'm one of them.

I'm thinking about getting a medical counselling but what'll that do? I was born this way. I like both men and women.

I just wish I find a bi woman!

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SundarDeshmukh
Posted On May 18, 2021 - 06:01 PM

@piyush_bot - if you getting married then just remember one thing what you do whole day wont matter if your wife is happy at night.

Wife need a bit of shopping, attention, praise and love( this love includes good *** too).

You don’t need to tell her in advance, she will know herself when you will have *** 😂. She jst need to be open minded and understanding. Even girls knows that boys love being tickled 😜 and she knows how a man like to caress some of his ignored body parts.

Thats my personal experience. Just keep in mind she won’t accept if you directly say it without having some mutual rapo.

If you know you can keep her happy by all means they GO FOR IT🥰



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Piyush_bot
Posted On May 18, 2021 - 06:33 PM

Yeah I've got the same feeling, but will this be acceptable to her? After marriage she come to know that her hubby likes men too and didn't mention about this earlier. The thought of this makes me very sad yaar. However open minded she is, this is definely going to be a shock for her and I know I can not forgive myself if she felt bad afterwards.

Man it's not about things. I've started exploring myself with men only after I got settled. Before that I was with 3 girls and slept with one of them. And speaking about myself I'm settled well according to Indian standards and if I were to say that I want to get married today, I'll have proposals line up like crazy. Only drawback I think I don't have that kind of body but it's not a problem. All I got to do is work a little bit and I'm all done but I hate that part and simply told my parents I'm not ready yet.

Regarding *** I don't know, I've got *** like 4.5 inches but I'm hell good wi

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Piyush_bot
Posted On May 18, 2021 - 06:40 PM

Sorry I couldn't finish up...
With oral and remember when I was with girl, man I was eating her out when suddenly she became so aroused that she said, she need *** right now... like right now and was kissing me vigourously.. bad thing I was half erect and wanted to just nuke her but I don't know why I stopped? When she asked me later while we were doing that again I just mentioned let's not cross few boundary and that made her *** crazy... she still talk with me though married with diff person but now the talk is confined to random things, like wishes, jobs etc.

With men too while I was *** the guy nipple, that guy couldn't control himself and began moaning wildly. Man I had to ask him stop so that neighbor couldn't hear us...

*** that's the whole story... and it is very hard to pick guys or girls, when it comes to these things. There must be understanding and then it's heaven man.

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SundarDeshmukh
Posted On May 18, 2021 - 07:01 PM

First thing, no wife would accept his husband sleeping with another guy / girl. You don’t need to disclose that unless its very much needed.

Question is, can you keep her happy with all her needs ? If she is happy in bed yours(boths) life will be happier.

Try *** with some girl before planning marriage.
Body & taste get changes over the period. Doesn’t matter if u were with girls before important is can you do it now after these many years snd can you manage dual life after marriage (this will make you real bisexual).

It’s difficult but yes possible.



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coupleswap
Posted On May 18, 2021 - 08:51 PM

@sundarDeahmukh.. please keep that point of to yourself.. i slept with another girl and it was threesome.. v are doing these things to spice up our *** life.. nothing wrong in it.. v had MMF n MFF n swapping also.. untill and unless ther is a understanding between partners then these things won't bother any girls

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SundarDeshmukh
Posted On May 19, 2021 - 05:53 AM

@coupleswap - can you quote which point u want me to keep it with me. If you and your wife agree to have 3rd person in the bed then thats good not everyone is so open.

How many couples do you know who are in swapping or MMF or FFM.
You can’t generalise it.
You are ur wife might not be able to satisfy each other thats why you need some spice in life.
If she is in MMF or FFM that means she is also bisexual (and not everyone is as lucky as you to have a bisexual wife).


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coupleswap
Posted On May 19, 2021 - 06:13 AM

@sundarDeshmukh.. yav we both r bisexuals and v don't find a problem with it. But it doesn't mean that v r not able to satisfy.. we both r well satisfied and the couples we are swapping are also well satisfied.. it's just that we are doing it our fun.. even without these Kinky things we are able to satisfy eachother.. don't generalize that all couples who are into these things r not satisfied

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SundarDeshmukh
Posted On May 19, 2021 - 06:37 AM

If you both are bisexual that means you will need other couples for satisfaction because once in a while your bisexual keeda🐞 will riseup and thats totally normal.

When i said “Not able to satisfy” I didn’t question about ur manhood, so please don’t get offended.😈 You may be able yo *** for hours but as a bisexual we know importance & need of *** & *** both for satisfaction.Its the satisfaction which pushes someone for need of spice in life.

I am still waiting for you to quote my words for which you say “ please keep that point of to yourself.. ”.

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cancan
Posted On May 19, 2021 - 07:27 AM

@SundarDeshmukh. I'm a 70s child....NEVER MARRIED....and never had any emotional drama or blackmail from my immediate family. Getting married and showing your responsibility towards your parents is basically....."vansh badhana hai". Financially, single people are also responsible towards their parents.
I guess it about standing up for one self.....standing tall and with pride.
Parents do come around and will respect your choice (of not getting married). Its the relatives and neighbors who are the ones doing "ungli", which parent succumb to. "Log Kya Kahengaye".
And rest ofcourse is upon one, how much they do "ji hazoori"
And @SundarDeshmukh...you are trying to objectify women....very MCP attitude. Woman are educated today, shopping and *** is not what they need. "Gand per bhi laath mar sakti hai" apne pati ki or any man for that matter.

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Patil_vers
Posted On May 19, 2021 - 11:14 AM

@sundarDeahmukh your "First thing, no wife would accept his husband sleeping with another guy / girl" thing is not accepted.. ther are people who do it for the fantacy.. u r just talking from your point of the view only and please don't generalize th statement for everyone. And bisexual doesn't only mean that we need another person for satisfaction. It's the couples personal choice to go or not go for it.

@coupleswap- right on target! Well said

@cancan-. Well said sir.

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VikasCnb
Posted On May 19, 2021 - 11:47 AM

Guys, I have been reading loads of comments on this topic. Well, I studied in a boys hostel for 12 years.. So things happen between boys, sometimes with teachers and others too... So I was quite comfortable with guys right from the early age.. Then met a girl when I was 20..we *** like rabbits on numerous occasions.. But kept on having flings with guys and women even after my marriage ( Not proud of it, but don't feel guilty too) By the way, I have a splendid *** life with my wife too.. So no point in judging me or anyone else.. It is individual choice.. As far as bisexual couples are concerned, it is no longer a huge tabboo.. Have met a few over past 10 years and they seem to enjoy the lifestyle pretty well... And believe me when I say that I have enjoyed life to the hilt with both sexes.. And I am not lonely.. I am absolutely a jovial person who enjoys the way I like.. Take care guys

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Skyfall21
Posted On May 19, 2021 - 04:15 PM

@piyush_btm you need to first figure out if you are really bi or gay, looks like you are confused. By your message it feels like you give more weightage to bi vs gay and convincing yourself as if you are bi. Yes and in today’s world marriage is not everything, stand for your self to avoid all issues and mental pressure later on. It’s common now days to not get married and enjoy life, if that suits you.

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Guideme
Posted On May 19, 2021 - 04:29 PM

Not sure why guys have taken individuals comment to their personal comments. It's just their views and perspective. Lets not fight. Please don't be, and lets be supportive to each other to provide opinion for the person who created this page with a question mark. Remember, this is just an opinion, but the person should use his own brain / thoughts to take a best judgement.

A message to the creator of this page with a question mark:

I personally feel you made your own life more complicated than anybody else. Whether you are bi or gay - how does that matter. It is what it is. Being a doctor and psychologist, there are some men who can standby being "bi". Meaning, they are satisfied with men as well as with their wife. While some men complicate with scenic dialogue - i want to be true with my wife hence i will not date any guys after marriage. I mean seriously? Is that even possible? Such guys often fail and end up with divorce and making society know of sexual orientation. So the question is, why would some one say to partner they are Bi? why cant a men be genuine with his wife and do not cheat by having extra marital affair with another girl. I repeat, it is what it is, you cant stop. Wife on one side through out your life, on the other side, if you are blessed with an individual guy through out your life OR many guys on other side. I am sure, no men or no women can be 100% transparent to each other. It is for sure, many hide their past, present and future. So why to complicate life which is already so complicated. I have few friends in circle who take undue advantage of my profession and I am happy. They ruined their life by divorcing and some are super happy by just hiding this... Its all about how your upbringing is that results how your thought process is and how better you can handle. Hence, you cant compare yourself with others. God sake, dont compare else you cant be a decision maker of your own judgement but running the steps with someone else brain and thoughts which may be perfect for their life but not meant for you at all.

And if the guy is gay - the subject is out of scope for this page. Gay who are inclined more towards men OR just inclined on men, preferably should not marry. If they do, they need to take that decision with conscious thoughts. I have seen many gays being managing well post their marriage as well which is a surprising to me as per my profession and to the science as well.

Happy to discuss further...

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letsfuck
Posted On May 19, 2021 - 05:19 PM

I will just say this : If you are married to a woman and are sleeping around with other men or women, you should be okay with your wife having *** outside your marriage. With whoever she wants and how many ever times she wants. If this thought makes you uncomfortable and your answer is a "NO" then you are a horrible person. A characterless human being. a misogynist and a chauvinist. And please stop your gyan then.

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Rahul_Mumbai93
Posted On May 20, 2021 - 05:51 AM

Many of us living a bi life
I've lived both lives and I've realised one thing that there's no respect for a gay person or bisexual in society. There's always something worst will happen, even your friends won't support it, they can upto few years but later they'll start judging you, trust issues if you are roaming with your straight friends and gossips that "why he is with gay person"
It's difficult to make others understand our feelings (physical/mental) to be with same gender.
If you are going to marry a woman, just remember one thing, it's not about just a woman but about her family, friends as well. If anyone knows that you are gay or have feelings towards male, they'll start gossiping about her husband/father is gay
That may impact on your future childrens aswell
Take decision wisely

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Piyush_bot
Posted On May 20, 2021 - 06:25 AM

@Rahul_Mumbai93
Fact! and every word is true. *** society or it's your life whoever says this, please understand India hai ye, idhar nai chalega ye sab... unless you move abroad or leave your family/friends or you're blessed to have very acceptable realtives/parents but everyone has some idea what's it like here. Soch ke hi dar lagta hai ki if I tell, papa! Ladka ladki dono sahi lagte hai mujhe. Jah phalna ka ladka toh.....

@skyfall
Yeah, it's true I'm confused but it is also true I like woman's company as much as like I mens' , well with men it's little complicated, like I start getting attracted to them only if I know them better and it gradually builds overtime until there comes a moment that mere thought of them tickles my senses (this maybe because of my bottom nature when I'm with them, idk). I've also this problem of judging them like how they speak, how they treat others, how well they maintain themselves... etc among other things but this happens with people whom I know or interact with.

Now when I'm outside like travelling, going somewhere or watching youtube and by chance I encounter someone hot looking, I get the feeling man it would be so hot to make out with him or kiss him and I can't stop myself to look at him over and over again but only if they are attractive as per my set standards. Anything feminine in men like nose, eyes, eyebrows or hairstyles draws my attention instantly. If you have seen Ruby Rose you'll understand what I'm talking about or someone like Kanha Kamboj, he give me goosebumps and sad thing I avoid watching him as much as possible but I'm telling you the truth, if he were right infront of me I would just kiss him and get slapped, hahaha.

Same goes for women too but here I try not to judge them because they are complicated creatures, never understood one and can't imagine my whole life without being with one of them. When it comes to handling emotions or sadness, I've seen no one can console better than them and few minutes of mere converstation, be it on phone or irl is enough to make my day. This thing doen't happen with a man.

This bisexuality is a vague thing, who is bi? One who is attracted to both men and women. ***! I know this this thing and if it were so everyone is bi then.

Bc abs ka workout karte karte *** ka workout hone lagta hai aur udhar wo lipstick laga ke milegi aur bolti hai dashing lag rahe aaj toh bahut.. man toh karta hai muh pakad ke apne samne la ke bol dun, gand marawayi hai kuch din pehle, acha laga... par tu bhi achi lagti hai, kya karu?

*** you OP, dukhti rag pe hath dalne ke liye...


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Rahul_Mumbai93
Posted On May 20, 2021 - 06:45 AM

I'll just put my point here
If you want to live a gay life , have gay life and enjoy
Same thing for straight as well

But if you are gay or bi and you are getting married that's okay. Marriage a like a commitment from two people and families. I had a personal counseling with an experienced councillor, I still remember her words.
It was" No woman will accept you to sleep with another woman, Sleeping with a man is not at acceptable for her at any cost"
There are many woman in the world, who will allow you to have *** outside a marriage but it can be the same from her end as well. As previously someone said in discussion that you need to accept that as well as your wife is sleeping with random guy/girl.
It's very hard to find a woman(even from a community) who will get married to a gay guy who's having no respect.
Suppose a lesbian woman wants to get married, she's having a choice to marry a straight guy and a gay guy
She'll obviously go for straight, maybe they can have MFF sessions as well.
I'm not saying gay man cannot have a good ***, we can make any woman, man happy but society won't give a chance only.
If you are gay/bi and getting married one day, just remember you have compromise something, if somehow anyone comes to know that you are gay, woman, her family's hard earned respect will go away with your one wrong decision and everything will spoil

Be on one stone
Don't put your feet on multiple stones.


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hotbotpop
Posted On May 20, 2021 - 07:36 PM

Being a married gay guy with kids, I would suggest not to get married unless you can completely and wholeheartedly live, satisfy and get satisfied both physically and mentally with your wife.

All that parent responsibility, relatives looking at me this way, that way are all plain bullshit. You'll realize none of them, not even your parents matter when you are not happy.

You as an individual has to be happy and then everything else will fall in place. So plz do yourself and the girl you are going to marry (just for the heck of society) a favour and just come out. Or just say you are not interested in marriage and move away.

If you plan your career well, travel etc, then you'll realize that all these boundaries are useless and you can be happy and keep your parents also happy. I got married due to social pressure and thinking about parent responsibilities and bla bla. Though people think I'm having a great life, inside its a huge void full of guilt. You can neither keep yourself happy, nor your wife and for that matter, not even your parents. I'm not able to come out, not able to have satisfying ***, not able to have a satisfying life and overall its a complete mess. DO NOT do the same mistake that I did, plz.

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VersTop_Hyd
Posted On May 21, 2021 - 12:55 AM

@hotbotpop, looks like you are too frustrated about your life and would getting a consultation. One can be selfish to keep himself happy but not at troubling our own parents. They sacrifice a lot and you wanna throw all of that away just for you to be happy. Sorry man, but I would like to oppose that.

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shapeoflove
Posted On May 21, 2021 - 03:50 PM

@VersTop_Hyd It's true that coming out isn't an easy task in the Indian society. You may face a bit of trouble initially but things get settled over the course of the time. And once you are earning on your own then, things usually get a lot easier. And you will be able to live a more satisfactory and guilt free life rather than if you succumb to the societal and family pressure and marry a girl, knowing that you aren't attracted to one, and you would always be leading a dual life full of guilt and there would always be risks involved of you getting exposed and your life getting ruined. Not to mention the constant cheating you would be involved in all your life.
So, it's up to you now. Either you take a wrong decision and live a life of a coward by hiding your true self and regret all your life, when you still have a chance to avoid that or you manage some guts and come out before your family and live a comparitvely much satisfactory and a true life.

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VersTop_Hyd
Posted On May 21, 2021 - 04:54 PM

Am a bi and so, I would be interested in women alone with men. As far as I know that's the meaning of bisexual. Correct me if am wrong. Since a bi, I don't have to come out and do not marry a gal. Plus, having seen so many (including myself), I lost confidence that I can live my entire life with a guy (no offense meant, but that's the truth). So, I prefer to marry a gal who can stay with me until the end of my life rather than keep searching for a guy all my life. Guys may be attracted towards until am of certain age, and after that, I have to live alone which would kill me. I do not want to live such a depressed life.

About Bi being lonely, as mentioned in the thread, I may not agree to it completely. I didn't marry because I was lonely. I married because I do not want to be lonely in later part of my life.

Being a bi, I am attracted to both guys and gals and so, I do meet both whenever possible. Many feel it's incorrect because of our moral values and ethics which differentiates humans from animals. But, I can't control my desires and I do cheat on my wife by meeting guys.

Now, to answer few other's views of 'wouldn't you be hurt if your wife meets others?' I would be hurt, but I follow the policy of 'what you give is what returns to you'. So, if am cheating my wife, I wouldn't leave my wife if she cheats on me. But, if I have been monogamous by controlling my feelings on others and still my wife cheats on me, I might not forgive her ever.

P.S: I have posted few generalizing the entire community, be it gays, guys, etc. Pardon me for that, I didn't mean to. Coz everything has an exception and if those words doesn't fit to you, consider yourself an exception to it.

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VersTop_Hyd
Posted On May 21, 2021 - 04:57 PM

Correction:
I would be interested in women along* with men.
Since am* a bi
Guys may be attracted towards me*
I have posted few views* generalizing

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Exploring
Posted On May 22, 2021 - 04:07 AM

@VersTop_Hyd : Well said.I agree that you can't lead the entire life alone..

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biman4u_2020
Posted On May 22, 2021 - 05:01 AM

@letsfuck I will just say this : If you are married to a woman and are sleeping around with other men or women, you should be okay with your wife having *** outside your marriage. With whoever she wants and how many ever times she wants. If this thought makes you uncomfortable and your answer is a "NO" then you are a horrible person. A characterless human being. a misogynist and a chauvinist. And please stop your gyan then.""

Very well said. totally agree

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fifty *
Posted On May 22, 2021 - 07:11 AM

vers_top_hyd, your first comment on 21st May in response to hotbotpop is judgemental and unnecessarily aggressive , harsh. I will suggest you read his comment once more. He is talking about men who get married due to societal , parental pressure.
To marry to satisfy your parents or to earn a social status of being a family person are huge costs to pay for a life of deceit with self and as he said a the huge void inside.
I have chosen to remain single. I am not out to my parents. But they stopped asking me to marry, long back. Of course I take their full responsibility. Had I had a sibling, I could have moved away to live a life of my desire. But this is certainly better than cheating myself and a woman.

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VersTop_Hyd
Posted On May 22, 2021 - 10:04 AM

@fifty am sorry if you feel my earlier comment was harsh but I don't. Felt that he is in too much pain and so suggested him a good consultation. Plus, per his view, it's fine to hurt our parents when we are not happy and am totally against that view.

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shapeoflove
Posted On May 22, 2021 - 12:27 PM

@VersTop_Hyd I don't think being bisexual is a valid justification of you cheating on your partner. Just because you are unable to control your desires doesn't give you a right to have an extra marital affairs. And isn't the fact that you got married mainly because you don't wanna live alone in the later stage of your life but then, constantly cheating on you is extremely unfair to her? It's more like you are using her companionship for your own emotional support. But what about her emotions? Also, bisexual simply means you are attracted to both men and women and not that you need multiple partners at the same time. And because you are also attracted to woman then there shouldn't be a point of you looking for *** outside your marriage. Now, going by your unable to control your desire logic then, this is the reason why anyone cheats on their partner, irrespective of their sexuality. A heterosexual or a homosexual person can give the same reason of desire for cheating on their partner. But is that a valid reason for cheating? No, because you need to keep your desires in check when you are in a committed relationship with your partner and can't simply break the trust of your partner. A husband cheating on his wife can't justify his acts by saying that my desires takes over my mind when i see another beautiful woman and that's why i cheat on her. Because that can never be a valid point for cheating. The same way your desires to have *** with men outside your marriage can't be a justification for you cheating on your wife.

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shapeoflove
Posted On May 22, 2021 - 12:41 PM

Also, i think what @hotbotpop is trying to convey through his comment is that you can keep others(parents, partner or anyone related to you) happy only when you are truly happy from inside. I don't think he is talking about hurting his parents but rather asking people to remain true to themselves and not take any wrong decision by succumbing to family and societal pressure. And i think that's a very true fact and a real positive message.

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VersTop_Hyd
Posted On May 22, 2021 - 02:06 PM

@shapeoflove, who said am justifying myself for sleeping around with whoever I want. I clearly mentioned that am cheating my wife because I can't control my desires. If I could control them, I wouldnt he here debating with a random person about my orientation and life. Am a bisexual, and so I like both men and women. Now that I have my wife for ***, it doesn't mean I am gonna lose interest in men. If that was possible, I would have married a gal the moment I recognised that I have feeling for guys too.

And am reiterating it, am not justifying anything and I don't have to a random stranger.

About hotbotpop's comment, it says you should be happy first even if your parents are unhappy with that. Later (God know for what amount of time) they will be happy. Until then they need to face the wrath of the stupid society and relatives while you live happily. Nice job.

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shapeoflove
Posted On May 22, 2021 - 03:42 PM

@VersTop_Hyd But how is it fair to keep your parents happy at the expense of ruining your and a woman's( your partner) life? What about her and her family? What about their emotions and the fact that her whole married life was nothing but a lie? And all of this because you want to save yourself from the taunts of some narrow minded people living in the stupid society. How's that fair in anyway at all? You can't be always greedy and think only from your prospective. It's always better to make yourself and your family strong enough to ignore such narrow minded people than spoiling someone's life. Like Tyrion Lannister once said, "Wear your true self like an armour and it can never be used to hurt you."

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VersTop_Hyd
Posted On May 23, 2021 - 12:47 AM

@shapeoflove, for the Nth time, am a bisexual, which means I like women too and like to have *** with them. I married a gal coz I like to have *** with a women too and also to have a partner for my life and not because of society. It's unfair for a gal and her family if she is unhappy with me, but my wife is so far happy with me.

So, can I take it that you came out of the closet and informed the world that you are into men?

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shapeoflove
Posted On May 23, 2021 - 06:26 AM

@VersTop_Hyd Are yaar, my previous comment wasn't regarding your sexuality but it was in the response to what hotbotpop wrote in his earlier comment and then, you objecting it with the logic that we should instead live a life of a lie just to keep our parents happy and away from society's wrath.
And as far as i'm concerned then, you can see that i have already mentioned in my profile that i'm out to some people( those who matter to me). And to be honest i have no intentions of informing the whole world about my sexuality because there isn't any need of that. But then, i have no intentions of hiding it too.

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fifty *
Posted On May 23, 2021 - 06:37 AM

verstop_hyd, you have fixated in your mind that being homosexual is wrong and it should be hidden at any cost. You assume that one's parents will get hurt on hearing that their son is homosexual. You justify hiding one's sexuality by bringing in society. You want homosexuals to marry women against their wish, natural liking and live a life of deceit and unhappiness.
All these notions are wrong. Every person has a right to live according to his own desire. If others cant understand that, one should make them understand it. Thats why coming out, educating parents and changing society's view are important. Nobody is asking YOU to do this. But dont criticize others who wish to do this.

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Skyfall21
Posted On May 23, 2021 - 06:56 AM

Looks like we are over analysing this, keep life simple and you will enjoy more. Fully agree that your happiness comes first rest all like parents, family all are important but if you are happy, people around you are happy also.
I have seen many straight friends under parents pressure they married wrong girl and whole life is hell.
Good thing india is progressing, society is getting more open and being single is not a taboo anymore. So do whatever you like with respect.
Yes and also no need to announce the whole world, you are bi or gay, this is your life and take a call whom you need to inform, your choice.
I am bi and like *** with women and oral with men that’s all. Lets make life more enjoyable, remembers it’s only one life !! Love ❤️

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Gayashish3
Posted On May 23, 2021 - 07:04 AM

Do straight men have a valid passport that after marriage they can have *** with other women ?? Then y r bi men trying to justify their point !

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Amogh
Posted On May 23, 2021 - 10:46 AM

I'm very appalled and disappointed by the narrow-minded, judgmental views of the members of this LGBTQ+ community towards the married bisexual men. Before we proceed any further, I want to declare that I'm a "BISEXUAL" who is "MARRIED" to a woman. I'm sexually attracted to women more than men.

Through this message, I wish to share my viewpoint and my opinion regarding the ongoing nasty mudslinging that is happening on this thread.

Let me clear a few misconceptions first. Some people in this community seem to think that gay/straight are the default sexual orientations and bisexuals are actually gays who have married due to family/societal pressures. While that may be true in case of many Indian bisexuals, the logic and attitude is totally wrong. Our ability to have *** is independent of gender of participant human being. In fact, our ability to have *** is not confined to humans only. Humans can have *** with other animals like dogs, horses etc. Extending the argument further, our ability to have *** is not even confined with living beings. If our ability to have *** was confined with living beings, so many people would not have orgasmed with masturbator *** toys or with their right hands. We possess an ability to have *** with anything that excites us with the touch. Humans by default are "POLYSEXUAL" (yes, that is a valid term) and "BISEXUAL" is just a sub-category in it.

So, what defines our sexual orientation? Research has suggested that it is a mix of genetic, environmental, societal and social factors. Many of these factors cannot be controlled. Every gay in this community would have faced a similar kind of question at least once in their life, "Why do you like boys?". I'm sure most of us would answer something like, "I was an emotional child and wanted a man to hug, comfort and support me!" But most of us would never say something like, "It is a genetic factor!" So our sexual orientation is heavily influenced by the environment we grew up. But lets assume hypothetically that your environment was different while growing up and hence you were not emotional. Would you still have required a man's hug? Would you have like it? Yes and No. There are chances that you might have turned straight if it weren't for the environment you grew up. But can you go back in time and change this? No. We cannot change any of it.

So, don't fool yourself that you have been gay "OUT OF CHOICE". No. Your genetic, environmental, societal and social factors have made you to "CHOOSE" homosexual lifestyle.

Just like other sexual lifestyles, being "POLYGAMOUS" is also a lifestyle. Being "POLYGAMOUS IS NOT A CHOICE", just like being gay. While gays can subdue their infatuation towards men, we can also subdue our polygamous urges. But that does not make "MONOGAMOUS". One of the newest quickly emerging lifestyle is "POLYAMOROUS". I urge everyone to read about it. For many of the "married bisexuals" here, our current lifestyle allows us to "enjoy" polygamous relationships. This is what is being called as "CHEATING" in this discussion. I have observed that many of the people who have been shouting about bisexuals "CHEATING" their wives and calling us "CHEATS" are the ones who "DO NOT HAVE A PICTURE AT ALL" or either "HAVE FACELESS PICTURE". Why are you guys hiding? Are you "CHEATING" someone? If you guys had nothing to be hide, what are you afraid of? Are you afraid that someone will copy your picture and blackmail you later. Are you afraid that your truth will be revealed? Are you afraid that the society will ill-treat you? You are a "PROUD GAY"! Be one! Why do you have to be afraid of the society? We, bisexuals, are cheats and cowards. I agree wholeheartedly. I challenge you to reveal your faces.
"DONT PREACH OTHERS WHEN YOU ARE NOT BRAVE ENOUGH TO SHOW YOUR FACE."

Just like "NO MEDICINE CAN CURE HOMOSEXUALITY", "NO MEDICINE CAN CURE POLYGAMOUS URGES".

I'm done spewing my anger. Lets speak like matured people. Everyone of us is afraid of our families, our close-ones, our friends, our colleagues and our society. We are afraid that they may reject our sexual orientation and we are afraid of the repercussions it may have on our life. It is my sense that many of the people bashing "married bisexuals" are privileged. They are privileged that their parents are open-minded. Even after the parents have accepted you, I'm sure many of you have not fully come out of the closet! I'm sure some of you have avoided revealing your lifestyle to our obnoxious manager, to our narrow-minded colleagues in the fear of screwing up your professional life. Some other people might not have revealed it to avoid the uncomfortable discussions and arguments. How many of you have avoided nose-poking questions like "Are you gay?" and have not answered such a question even once. Isn't that "CHEATING"? I agree that our wives have a lot to lose due to our cheating compared to some colleague to whom you haven't revealed your sexual identity. But still, both are "CHEATING" and hence all of us are "CHEATS".

Many of the privileged people do not have other problems to deal with. I come from a lower middle class family. My parents live in a small town. It is very difficult for poor people to move up the social, economical and societal ladder even in normal circumstances. Imagine the plight of my parents if I come out of the closet. Their social network is very small and very conservative. They cannot modernize their thinking in a jiffy. A lot of well-educated people on this forum are not ready to accept "MARRIED POLYGAMOUS" people as sexually deviant people as one among them. How do you expect our less-educated, not-travelled-much, very conservative parents to accept us? Let us say in the best case, our parents accept our sexuality! What about their social circle? They will be shunned out of it. Not just socially, it is least of my concerns. I'm worried about the economical aspect. How many people would be willing to do business with my father? Once they get to know that his son is a polygamous bisexual?! They have to suffer a lot just because I want to *** boys! How is that fair and reasonable?

Also, our sexuality is not our only problem. Improving our financial status is also important. Imagine the plight of a married bisexual man, who owns a shop or works in a small industry in a small town. Do you think he can survive if people get to know about his sexuality? We have many problems to deal with and hence we have to balance them. We want to give a decent life of respect to our parents. Marrying a girl is the easiest we could do. Yes. It is unfair to the girl. I'm not denying it. But please don't see the bisexuals as "CHEATS".

Also, many people in this forum seem to think that whatever they do before marriage is totally acceptable and whatever is done after marriage is unacceptable and blasphemous. It is okay to *** around with boys before marrying a girl but it is not okay to *** around with boys after marriage? If "POLYGAMOUS" was your concern, then both of them must be unacceptable! If someone has a lot of pre-marital *** and not reveal it to his future partner, is it not cheating? You may disregard it as "before marriage is none of his/her business". Your future partner has every right to know about your past life so that he/she can make a very informed decision about her future. Guys, if polygamous lifestyle is wrong, it is wrong. It does not matter whether it happens before or after marriage.

Another thing that really disturbed me is the "MORAL PURITY" mentality of some people. Our LGBTQ+ community has suffered enough because "normal people" think they are "MORALLY PURE" and we are "MORALLY IMPURE". You guys have first-hand experience of how it feels to be called so. You are committing the same mistake again. Didn't the church think that "GAYS ARE EVIL AND HOMOSEXUALITY IS A DISEASE"? Just because they did not understand it! Didn't the British think that "INDIANS ARE MORALLY IMPURE BECAUSE WOMEN ARE BARE-CHESTED"? Didn't Baba Ramdev call "GAYS ARE EVIL AND HOMOSEXUALITY CAN BE CURED WITH A MEDICINE". This regressive Victorian mentality has to be eliminated. Please don't fall for it. Just because you are uncomfortable with the people who have polygamous relationships after marriage, you don't have to accept it. At least "DO NOT BE INTOLERANT". Our LGBTQ+ community, our country and our world has suffered enough because some people think they are morally pure and others are morally corrupt. Please don't fall into that trap.

I'm not supporting my lifestyle. Neither is @VersTop_Hyd. I know him personally and I'm aware of the struggles he has gone through. We are not proud about our lifestyles. Like many people pointed out, we want to be fully free. We want to fully come out of the closet. We want to reveal our identity with our wives. We want the whole world to accept us without discrimination in our social, professional and personal lives. But that struggle is long. And our family situation does not give us that flexibility to fight for it. If it were possible, we would have moved out of India and led a lifestyle of our choice. But that would be totally unfair to our parents!

We are trying to not be unfair to our partners to the maximum extent possible. They are bad apples everywhere. But that does not mean the whole community can be bashed.

Also, I'm sympathetic to the people who have suffered because of the fact that your sexual partner did not treat you with respect. I have noticed that some people want a life partner and have their *** or *** on display picture. It is very difficult to get a life partner that way. It must be assumed that people who connect with you are just looking for ***. You must be ready for all possibilities. Some people might just need a hole to ***, while others need emotional bonding too. Do not have high expectations about your partner caring for your emotional needs. If that is so, please change your display picture.

There are people in this community who have various sexual deviant behaviours. I don't like some of them personally. But I have no authority to say that is wrong! As an LGBTQ+ community, we have to learn to be more tolerant of various sexual deviances. Whether we like them, agree with them or not, it does not give us any right to be "INTOLERANT" and call names. There is nothing that more "MORALLY PURE" and others "MORALLY CORRUPT". Please shun that mentality. Be acceptable of everyone without discrimination.

I, in no way, am supporting what I'm doing as a "married bisexual polygamous" guy. We have our own struggles. I just want the community to just be "MORE TOLERANT" to various "SEXUAL DEVIANCES" even if you do not agree with it.

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VersTop_Hyd
Posted On May 23, 2021 - 11:58 AM

@Gayashish3, neither me nor Amogh are trying to justify our polygamous act and do not have to. Amogh is trying to say that we all belong to the same community and so, we all should be able to understand what others are going through. You are so scared of the own community that you couldn't even put up a pic and yet here you are arguing about your fellow member whom you should understand.

We feel ourselves to be privileged by hiding and yet preach others about cheating. That's even more sad.

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fifty *
Posted On May 23, 2021 - 01:13 PM

Verstop_hyd, did you try to understand what hotbotpop is going through? Have you not been judging him? Had you not made that comment, none of the subsequent comments would have appeared.
The points raised by you and Amogh about cheating and putting pictures are not even worth replying.
Still,
You are equating deceiving one's wife with whom ine has taken vows with some sundry person who has no business knowing one's sexuality.

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Amogh
Posted On May 23, 2021 - 01:50 PM

@fifty: I totally agree with your point. Deceiving our wives is more damaging than some stranger. I have taken calculated risk and have ventured into infidelity. I want to tell her and it is not as easy it sounds. You are lucky and privileged to have remained single till now. I truly appreciate you for leading your life according to your choices. Please note that your family situation has allowed you to stay single. I'm not lucky in that case. In fact, I'm a coward and fear for the repercussions regarding the financial future of my family.

My point about putting pictures was regarding one particular comment from someone talking about cheating! I might have definitely overreacted but that does not mean that my grievances were wrong! Excuse me, if that was hurtful.

It seems @VersTop_Hyd and @hotbotpop have different experiences and hence different opinions. There's nothing RIGHT or WRONG. All decisions taken by us in our lives have a risk factor. The risk factor leads to favorable and non-favorable conditions. @hotbotpop seems to have encountered non-favorable conditions with his decision of getting married. He is right with his opinion. At the same time, @VersTop_Hyd seems to have not encountered such experiences!

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shapeoflove
Posted On May 24, 2021 - 08:24 AM

Amogh From when does not having a picture in your profile come under the bracket of cheating lol? I hugely doubt if you really understand the meaning of this term. It's not called cheating untill and unless you are not under a certain liability and breaking it. Having a profile pic on this website isn't a liability at all, let alone having a clear face pic( btw i checked your profile and couldn't find a single face pic except few body pics. So, don't you think that you are being a bit hypocrite by accusing others of "cheating", which in fact isn't, but then, not following the same rule?). So, it's totally illogical to call people cheaters for not having their face pic on their profile. And the same goes with the sexuality part. As sexuality is a very personal part of an individual's identity, you are not liable to share it with someone you are not comfortable in sharing with or not forming forming any physical relationship with that person. And it's totally rude and illogical to ask someone's sexuality, if you are not intended to form any sexual relationship with that person.
Now, coming to your polygamous point then, polygamous simply means being married to multiple partners. So, you claiming that you are a 'married bisexual polygamous guy' is just wrong. Because polygamy is illegal in India for every religion except for the Islam religion where limited polygyny up to 4 wives is permitted. And i doubt you are married to more than one woman. So, i think you are basically confused between polygamy and polyamory. Now, polyamory is the act of having intimate relationships with more than one person at the same time. But then, polyamory is just one form of consensual non-monogamy. It involves relationships with more than one person, with the consent of everyone involved. And just like monogamous relationship trust, communication, consent and mutual respect are also the key values of polyamorous relationship. So, if your partner has no knowledge of you forming a physical and emotional relationship with someone outside your marriage then, it's neither polyamory nor polygamy.
Also, no one is asking you or VersTop_Hyd to come out of the closet. Again coming out of closet is a personal decision and no one can compel anyone to do that. But then, discouraging someone from coming out to their family and friends isn't nice either. And that's why i asked VersTop_Hyd that how's it fair to keep your parents happy at the expense of ruining someone's life. Again i'm not questioning your life decisions but just asked a general question.
There are some other statements too that i found, while reading your comment, to be devoid of logic. But i don't wanna drag this discussion too far. And honestly, there is no disrespect or hatred in my mind regarding bisexuality. Neither i'm intolerant towards bisexuals nor do i believe in any kind of discrimination towards them. But then, i also don't support cheating irrespective of someone's sexuality

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hotbotpop
Posted On May 24, 2021 - 06:32 PM

@VersTop_Hyd Dude its not always about you. As you say, you are attracted to BOTH men and women, and if your wife is happy and you are happy, good for you! I was not talking about you or people like you.

I'm talking about people like me who are NOT attracted to women but still married because of pressure from parents and society. Do you understand the difference?

Now for people like us, life is hard and full of guilt. So based on my experience, I was recommending people like me, who are not attracted to women's body and can never have passionate *** with them (you are not in this category) to not get married. Your argument that we should get married to satisfy our parents is insane. Parents are not just happy to get you off married but to see that you are living a happy married life. Which is not possible for us. Do you get that?

And for your consultation stuff, it's not like I'm sitting and crying in a corner day and night. I earn well, am generally happy, travel around and enjoy my life. I will of course go for a consultation/massage or whatever to destress myself if I feel too stressed but that is unrelated to the point I'm trying to convey overall. Ok?


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romancecafe1@gm
Posted On May 24, 2021 - 11:43 PM

Bi sexual ia not bad. You enjoy *** with men and women. But when you decided to marry or go for relationship you surely have the liability to inform your partner unless otherwise you gonna practice monogamy with the partner. I really doubt people can suddenly follow monogamy after marriage

Before marriage you really need to go through complete STI tests. HIV, STDs, Hepatitis B, Herpes etc

After marriage even if you just allowing someone to *** your *** then you not just risking yourself. You risking your partner as well. Some STDs can spread just by orals or touch itself. Thats the reason whatever you do after marriage you completely risking your partner. Keeping her in dark is really a bad thing

I know some married *** holes who got Hepatitis B or HIV. Why your wife need to suffer because of you? Your freedom is yours if you are not married. If you married even giving a BJ or getting a BJ from someone outside marrige have its own risk to your partner

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