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Relationship with a married man. Acceptable or not

Submitted by AlwaysLusty09 Location: All India (All India, India)

Have you ever been in a relationship with a married guy? A friend of mine from the community is in relationship with a bloke almost 10 years older than him. He says that married men always attract him for following reasons: they're experienced lovers, you can have a mature conversation with them about finances to politics to dirty talks, etc.

He says that both are aware of no future as his bf is married, but they still enjoy the most of it. Though he often feels like being an extra burden on someone else's life.

When he told me all of that, Ohmojo came to my mind for seeking multiple views. What you guys think about this form of relationship?

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Displaying 101 to 132 of 132 comments.
Previous comments: 1  2  3  

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Posted On May 30, 2020 - 07:18 AM

Relationship with a married is good as long as it doesn't become an obstacle to his married life and your personal life as well. Its all about understanding and maturity. Things start going south when either of the person start controlling others personal life..it all comes down to *** isn't it. A married men still searching for young bottoms or bottoms means simply that he is bi or gay and still searching to live his dual life to seek pleasure. Some find young chaps more entertaining, ***, accomodating than their wife. Like @jeanebad mentioned above he wants BDSM *** and his wife doesn't allow it so he started looking to fulfill his desire.

Relationship with a married person is not bad as long as both people are mature enough to respect the difference between two partners, maintain secrecy and trust in the act don't use or take advantage of anyone. That all I have to say

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Posted On May 31, 2020 - 09:40 AM


Though what you say is true, it's unfortunate that people aren't that mature enough. I mean they want all the benefits of the secret relationship but somehow manage to break the trust and secrecy. It's sad that not much people can do it.

Based on personal experience I think that the relationship with a married men is much more fun. Cuz you get to do things that's so pleasurable. But it like very rare.

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Posted On May 31, 2020 - 04:14 PM

Casual *** without much expectations is okay.
But relationship? Think about it.

1. Would he be there for u when u need him ?
2. What if you are not married and this guy never leaves his family? All u get is stolen time, which won't last more than 2-3 hours or max 8 hours a week?
3. What if you see a future or want a future later?
4. Say ur 25, he s 30 n married. All good now. U are exclusive and u dont date anyone else. This guy will never leave his wife, so say they get to know n he leaves u. Now ur lets say ur 35 in 10 years. How many options will u have?
U want to start over now?
5. A person who can cheat his wife or gf or bf, why won't he cheat u ?

You can shake up the morals the way you want. But relationship with anyone who cannot commit fully to you is going to end up badly.
You can blame the society, but people have changed, things for changed. Now u can live with who u want to if you really want to. So don't blame society and ruin a girls life by marrying her and yet *** others.

*** You will never accept your wife if she goes around sleeping with other men ???

Note: When I say relationship, i think of it as couple exclusive to each other and hence the comments. There is no such thing as open relationship :P atleast in my dictionary. Keep it ons, casual or be serious.

I have had *** with all types - married, guys who are partnered with other boys or girls, etc. I think 27-30 yr old guys are best. Most of the 38+ guys are slow and little sloppy on bed.
I am bottom, and like it little rough. So younger boys are the best, they are open to trying things which married men aren't.
Example: Rimming, many men won't do it. Guys these days are okay with flip ***. N more flexible in bed.

I was dating a 24 yr old, he could *** 4-5 times in a go, was an amazing ***. No prob with erections as well.
(dont contact me for others contact, I won't share. And don't contact me if you are looking for quick ***)

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Posted On Jun 10, 2020 - 08:40 AM

@Looking for top :
Very very valid point & correct questions.

A married man dragged & forced me to a relationship,
Though i dont fall into it completely.

Fight started as u said Time, i always shd wait for his comfortable leisure time.
Also he will have numbers of casual fun. But will never love me & completely stopped having fun with me. Beauty is will *** new new guys through dating app ,infront of me.

I still remember the words he said to me, wen fighting at peak.

I have wife & kids. I have lot family committments. Now im scaring u will ruin my family life by creating troubles.
All are Passing clouds. Try to understand value of friendship and just be a casual friend to me.

Will never forget these conversations in my life.

Guys never say the word "Relationship" with married men.
How smooth it goes, it never ends well.
If ur solo loner guy like me, then life will be at hell

Love all. Serve all. Lol

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Posted On Aug 4, 2020 - 02:43 PM

Do not expect ny thing just enjoy the moment while it lasts like i enjoyed with my classes accounts teacher, for 4 years the only thing that excites me is we hooked up more than 100 times that even more *** than he had with his wife, also jerked eated each others *** more than that, if u think abt future n responsibility u would lose the moment of being together.

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Posted On Aug 28, 2020 - 04:54 AM

My landlord enjoyed me last week he is old and couldn't penetrate but goodness his tounge has displayed his; magic all over my body

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Posted On Oct 5, 2020 - 01:42 AM

Im 38.
Fat hairy chubby guy...i dont mind having a relationship with a married man as far as we enjoy each others company and theres no involvement of money and other expectations ...i met a man who was 35 but he said he earns less so i have to take care of all his financial needs buy him all the stuff he wants ,buy him a house too as he lived in rented house with his wife ...we never had *** and all his expectations pushed me away from him .

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Posted On Oct 5, 2020 - 02:44 AM

It is sad state of the society... People have started taking "Enjoying others' money" so lightly... that it really annoys.

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Posted On Oct 5, 2020 - 03:56 AM

I was pretty taken aback by his proposals when we met casually for a lunch date ...he enlisted all his needs as if he made a list out of what all he needs from his partner ...i didnt know how to react and respond ...we had lunch and spent time talking in a coffee shop and then parted ...i never met him after that ...i was in shock like such golden diggers do exist in reality and its not a myth .i still see him on social media on prowl looking for a guy who can take up all his responsibilities and ful fill his wants needs and desires in the name of love and relationship

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Posted On Oct 5, 2020 - 05:00 AM

This has become the "new normal", on every dating app or site. There's an open ask for monetary gain. Apparently, all 35+ guys are rich & desperate, or at least that's the general thought process. Which is far from accurate. I only ever get paid services or "senzwall massaj" options.
It's actually switching me off everything coz there's only that much shamelessness one can tolerate.
Whatever happened to self worth, free loading is far from it.
@fatchunbyboobs: you were nice enough to continue with the conversation after his grocery list of asks, he would've had another thing coming if it was me..

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Posted On Oct 5, 2020 - 08:01 AM

@stopgap...thank you for your support ... I me him on facebook on a gay page ..he lives far away from the city in a town / village ..we chatted for pretty 3 4 months and finally met ...for a lunch date ...i thought he being from a small town must be an innocent village guy and would be so wary of the city and city life and city guys...but he had all his plans and research in place ... I was shocked with his list and high aspirations And ambitions to live a comfortable life of luxuries at other guys expenses ...i distanced my self after that but he kept msging me on fb sending me mails ...i last got a msg on fb few months back and i reverted saying im a friend of the guy you msged ...the person ur trying to reach is no more.he succumbed to covid... I had to kill my self to get rid of him and his constant torture...it was irritating ...why cant he understand that when i dont msg him or respond properly it means im not in ... Im not interested

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Posted On Oct 5, 2020 - 08:03 AM

Yeah thats another misconception that 30 plus guys are money bags and have loads of cash to dispose off to such gold diggers

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wingedcupid *
Posted On Oct 5, 2020 - 08:27 AM

Well i met a ola driver who is very young. He is straight and appeared naive. I have flirted with him and shared numbers.
After few days i made him come to my hotel room. We had good drinks and smoke. It progressed to fun eventually with me in dress

He was amazed at how i enjoyed my holidays with no care. ( i have a very stressful life at work and occasionally take off to keep my headspace recharged) he assumed i m some sort of millionaire and started asking money later. In his two days of stay he always tried talking about money, which i diverted saying enjoyment doesnt always need money

I had to block him as I dont want to be a sugar daddy or mama whatever!

I have had my chances of being a gold digger but i always respected others money and shared expenses whenever i went out with them.

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Posted On Oct 5, 2020 - 09:36 AM

Yeah it happened to me most of the time.. If i meet some one and talk nicely for one or two meetings in the third meeting they ask for money or a gift or ask me to buy an iphone ... I myself use a vivo ..where will i buy him an i phone from ...met a 24 year old guy he wants to hang around with me ...restuarants , movies in multiplexes , drinks ,gifts, shopping for clothes ,all the stuff what ever he wants to ..in the name of love and relationship.. He proposes to every guy he meets ..he is pretty popular on gay dating apps ...when they see his pic they say ..oh this guy ..he proposed me ... I was like wt f ... Had i trusted him and got into a relationship with him i would have been in soup by now...yeah drivers are like that ...low income but aspirations are high .. I dont know how to deal with their monetary requests .

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Posted On Oct 5, 2020 - 04:42 PM

Well I dated a 39 year old married banker for almost a year and thankfully we never faced any problems. We both were very clear about the expenses and decided that we'll split every expenses equally. Like if we went out for dinners then one time he'd pay then the next time I'll take care of the bill, we went to resort for weekends in that he used to do all the expenses which I noted and at the end I simply gave him half the money....we divided all the expenses except for humble gifts we bought for each other during birthday. It was am overall a nice experience.

I am single now as he got transferred. Looking to mingle.

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Posted On Oct 5, 2020 - 05:32 PM

I think this thread is created for getting opinions/views on married men having relationship with other men.

Well, as long as money or honey trap is not involved then that relationship definitely I call as a genuine one. Irrespective of it is one night stand or a long one.

Be cautious and self aware always to stay away with boys/men talks or thoughts purely depends on your money. This is just a fraud and scam!!

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Posted On Oct 5, 2020 - 05:36 PM

I would never date someone who is married and hookups only if the man is in an open relationship and his wife knows about it otherwise not even that cause if I was in the wife's place I'd be pretty angry if I was being faithful and my husband *** around with others.

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Posted On Oct 6, 2020 - 08:51 AM

I once met a married man we spoke te eachother for quite a long time and were ready to meet. Then came the first disadvantage of meeting a married man, They never have place and expect you to have a place and since I had a place I didn't worry about it and asked him to come over. He came for got *** in a hurry and left, I thought he had some work and let it go. After that he would never agree to the time or date I was ready and would always force me to agree to the time and date he wishes for. After a few days he used to leave even if I didn't finish off and used to ask me to mastrubate. So I didn't like it and started ignoring his texts and calls. He came to my place without informing and asked me to *** him but I denied he didn't take it well and blackmailed me that he'll snitch to my neighbours and society. I blocked him but because he knew where I lived, I changed my place. After that he used to call me from different numbers and try to ask my place but I never answered and one fine day he came to my college and was standing outside the gate, I was with my friends but he came to talk to me infront of them but I anyhow escaped the situation and once I got a offer letter from my first job I literally begged them to not asign a job in Banglolre and left banglore. Married men just want to fulfill their desires and they don't care about others desires. They aren't actually gay, they want to *** or get *** and leave without having a relatonship. Iknow a lot of bottoms who like mature men but almost all of them are married. Me and my friends strictly stick to the policy of not meeting married men

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Posted On Oct 6, 2020 - 12:38 PM

@telugutop married men have a wife and family so I'd expect a large proportion of those who are meeting men are doing so just for the ***. I'd expect that just based on their situation I wouldn't have to exhaust myself by getting all bitter and twisted about it because it appears logical.

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Posted On Oct 6, 2020 - 01:54 PM

Awe? One shouldnt get bitter about someone stalking him? That too blackmailing a college going guy?

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Posted On Oct 7, 2020 - 01:08 PM


Looks like that guy was psychopath. I m so sorry you have to deal with such a terrible thing.

Fortunately or touchwood, I always got good guys whether they are gay, bisexual or straight. They always loved me and care me. I am the one who never got into any serious relationship just because I did not want to get into that emotional trauma and scare of getting hurt. But honestly, those men always respected me and we always had very good talks and fun.

Another point is your instinct or gut feeling or self conscious feeling will always let you know whom to trust an

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Posted On Oct 7, 2020 - 02:04 PM

Even I have faced such issue in the past...

I started dating a guy almost twice as old as me. He was married with 2 kids almost of my age. He was all good initially.
We even started going out, and we even stayed in some homestays outside Bangalore.

He was very possessive and he started collecting every piece of informtion about me. My FB detail, my LinkedIn details, everything. I was equally open with him, as I tend to trust people soon. So, during our stay outside he got to know my address as well. He had checked on my wallet and had noted my address from my DL.

He pretended as if he loved me too much. I just got carried away. That is when the nightmare started. Although it was me who spent for all the dates and stays, he started telling me that he has spent his precious time with me, and now its my time to pay him for his time.

He had gifted me few stuff, for which he satrted asking money.
I was not expecting anything from him. But it was he who did give me gifts, and I always used to deny it. What a ***!!!

Then when he figured out that I was sensing the trouble in the relationship, and tried to get out of it, he started playing with me. He looted somewhere around 10k from me.

When I lost control, and felt its high time to say good bye, his behavior changed totally, and only I know the trouble it took me to get out of it. Those days were so frightening and I spent many sleepless nights. I was almost in depression for few months.

Then I discussed this issue with one of my best frnd. And he supported me to get ready to fight against that man. But to my surprise, he mellowed down. I thought this is right time for me to get out of it. And finally touch wood, he seems to have found some other victim...

This taught me a series of lessons... 😉
1. Never trust anybody
2. Keep all your derails very secret. That is when I even locked my fb profile. Linkedin, yet to figure out a way...
3. Dont get scared. Talk to people who can help you out.
4. Never entertain married men... they just need ***, nothing else... Few men even want to eat on your hard earned money..

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Posted On Oct 7, 2020 - 02:43 PM

There are some exceptions which are a bad experience for people.But I am married but I had very good relationships with 2 younger guys,even when the physical relationship ended we still are very good friends as *** leads to some sentimental feelings of love and care.
It is better to assess the personality of the person before deciding to extend the contacts.

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Posted On Oct 7, 2020 - 05:04 PM

@fifty I ignored the part about blackmail because that was too ridiculous. Why would a married man blackmail a single guy. Once blackmail is on the table the married guy has so much to lose. Either the story is utter nonsense or the writer doesn't have enough wit to be out in the world by himself.

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Posted On Oct 7, 2020 - 06:31 PM

@billpotts, Sometimes people do *** up things. People don't exactly make logical decisions when it comes to this stuff, they just go off ofemotion. You'd be surprised at the level of ridiculousness supposedly "normal people" would go to when it comes to obsessing over someone they're dating. Applies to everyone regardless of gender and sexuality. I wouldn't be so quick to call bullshit on his story. I do agree partially with you though, I'd take it with a grain of salt but far fetched to call it utter nonsense.

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Posted On Oct 7, 2020 - 08:41 PM

I can see how @telugutop's situation could bother a closeted college guy, especially in Indian society and more so in the South.

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Posted On Oct 8, 2020 - 07:04 AM

I think it all depends on whether it is acceptable to u or not. I have just moved out of eight year relationship with a married man. I might get judged for this but I do call it a relationship, coz we got together much before he got married and continued to stay together. You when when u re young and hopelessly in love, u kind of take mad decisions, like I did. It was simple, we met, hooked up, liked each other and he proposed to me. I was attached to him so I simply said yes, without thinking anything. We lived close by so we d always meet, which resulted in extreme closeness, so I was lost in a fantasy land, where we would be this way forever.

One fine day, he dropped the bomb. His family wanted him to marry, they would not take no for an answer and he did not want to fight them. He is bisexual, so he said he always had marriage on mind. What about me? I asked, and he said I will continue to love you. We didnt speak for a while, but one evening he came back to my doorstep, asking me to give him a chance. He said he will manage it all well. He said he will not love me any lesser, that he s marrying just for the sake of it. He promised he ll also keep his wife happy. I was an idiot, I said yes. And so began four years of the 'affair'. He tried his best to manage both, I kept my expectations much much lower, just wanted him to see me at times and cuddle. He would drop by every day initially, back home from work. It was great initially, his guilt of having gotten married made him do a lot of sweet things to me. He wanted to go overboard, like funding my masters, getting me bike etc., something told me to say no. I refused. We always split bills, no matter what.

We had an arrangement in place, we will meet often, be in love and build a love life in private, bt we will remain old classmates to the world. Initially it was great. We had great *** life, love was everywhere. But it did take a toll on my mental peace. I ve never been a secretive person, but now i was forced to live like I am in hiding, he would always be scared to come out with me, I was not out, but he somehow would feel very conscious on being seen outside with me, he would constantly delete messages, which was understandable. He never took me to his home, not even when he bought a new house and had a gruhapravesha. His mother personally visited me with the invitation card, she called me up even on the day of the event. I was getting ready, I thot I ll just go so I dont hurt his mom and simplu slip out after a few minutes. I was about to lock the house and got a curt message from him "pls do not come home!". It broke me in a lot of ways, for the first time ever I felt dirty, but I let that pass.

Lot of such little things happened, cant list them all. Once there was a fight over some old FB memory I shared on my FB wall, it had him and me in a swimming pool, there was nothing gay or sexual about it, but he felt it wasnt appropriate. I argued it was normal, we looked like straight men having a good swim, but there was a fight. He gave me that classic line "I have everything to loose if things get out, you loose nothing" ! Yeah sure, nothing, just some seven odd years of having been in love (It was a monogamous relationship, at least for me and I had remained monogamous, even after he married). I let that pass too. But once while arguing, out of anger, i had called him a cheat (I had honestly not meant it, it was in anger), which for some reason made him think I might blackmail him or something. He became super super conscious after that, he would check my phone again n again, delete our pics, etc etc. One fine day, I was not able to see his FB profile at all. He had unfriended me, he defended it, saying its for safety and our love didn't need social media validation. I let that pass too.

Once, he came over to stay over the weekend when his wife was out of the city. It was great, the food, the dance, the music etc., but I noticed he was very jittery, he woudl look around often when kissing me or while on bed with me, it was certainly weird. We usually got drunk whenever he stayed back, but this time he didnt drink, he simply had sprite, which was weird coz he would drink a lot usually. I fell asleep, and on waking up about ten mins later, I found him checking the corners of the room, the shelf etc. I asked him what is it he s looking for. He said nothing, but I insisted, forced him a lot and then he said "I heard a story of someone keeping a spy cam to catch two men having ***" was just being sure. Well that was the last straw I guess. I felt horribly hurt! He was making it all up. He simply doubted that I might videograph our *** and blackmail him. I let him rant out, god knows what he might be going thru to be that scared. I assured him he doesnt have anything to fear from me. We had ***, and he left in the morning.

I sent him a text, saying its better we do not see each other anymore, and that he has nothing to fear from me anymore. He replied "take care, lets talk bout this". I did expect he might come to meet and ask for a chance (so naïve lol) but he never came. Luckily thats when the lockdown got announced and I never heard from him again. Those 21 days were terrible. I was broken, hurt, extremely sad. I stayed in bed for days (just woke up to eat and use the bathroom). He, who stayed just a street apart from me, didnt even ask if I am OK. I Felt suicidal, there was no chance of getting *** too. I watched ***, ***, did video ***, phone ***, nothing worked. I had thot I might not live thru the lockdown. I had googled ways of killing oneself too. But I managed to stay in control. The moment interdistrict movement was allowed, I moved out of Bangalore. For a while I lived with my parents in hometown, returned to bangalore, and will be moving out of this house in a week, to a new house, new life.

This is my experience of being in a 'relationship' with a married man, it horribly *** me up. It must ve been hard for him too. I dont blame him and I still love him a lot. But it would not have worked in any case.

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Posted On Oct 8, 2020 - 07:30 AM

@scaatbeginner So sorry to hear about your experience. But if I point out the bright side, you're 32, which is still a very young age, you've learned something that you know never to get into...so it's time live life and have next relationship/companionship on own terms.

Yes, I got very hurt when my married partner moved to different city and I too decided that it's better to avoid married men, or just have ***. No dinner, dates, etc. nothing. Just simple friends with benefits to sate physical need.

But honestly even single gay men or divorced gay men are not that great as well. I've been in touch with a divorced gay guy for almost 2 years now. Our conversations were awesome, we always chatted a lot and discussed so many things. Whenever he used to come to my city, his hometown, I used to suggest meeting for coffee but he always had some sort of bahana and most of the time it was "yaar time nhn hai". I used to feel bad for being so desperate. But I avoided and still continued chatting with him.

Couple of months ago, I told him that I feel mentally attracted to you, so what you say we take our friendship to next level, trying exploring our physical desires. He never said NO and was like yes we can try. I suggested let's meet for coffee and discuss, talk. He said not now, let's postpone a couple of weeks due to corona and then meet. He didn't want to put his parents to risk, and I said no problem.

After two weeks I messaged and said hey lets meet. He was like yes, let's meet this weekend if I'm not going to Gurgaon (his workplace for some work). I said ki batadena and he was like ok. He never even bothered messaging, not even saying whether he is in Jaipur or gone to Gurgaon, nothing. I didn't message him for 15-20 days, thinking kk he'll atleast message once, but he didn't. I messaged him again saying hi ki aajkal baat kaise band krdi...again the reason yaar busy tha and all that. I said okay. I again said ki coffee pe mile toh ab reply yaar main parents ko doc ke leke jata hu toh I don't want to put anyone at risk.

I thought in my mind ki dude you always have bahane, phle ki corona hai kisise nhn miluga and now ki kisiko mjhse corona ho jyga. The funny part was he called a massage guy in Gurgaon to have fun with.

Now I know I have no right to feel bad but it's like man if you don't want to meet or have anything atleast say it. Not once you said a clear NO. Always like yes, haan milte hai and all that since long.

That's why even single gay men are hopeless. They're fine with the risk of going out with other friends, calling a random massage guy for fun but a guy who has been approaching you with true honesty usko tum aise treat kr rhe ho. Seriously man disgusting.

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Posted On Oct 8, 2020 - 07:37 AM

@AlwaysLusty09 thanks for your kind words. Yes I am seeing at brighter side :) I agree people can be very mean and nasty, but cant help, need to manage with what we get lol :D

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Posted On Oct 8, 2020 - 08:24 AM

I dont know why Most of the guys dont like coffee meet ups or casual lunches ..they are more interested to get a quickie ..get their job done on bed and leave ...the lust they show in the disguise of love on us before getting on to the bed vanishes ones they are done by cumming ...we misinterpet their lust as love .. I have seen few are bothered directly abt *** ..even in chat they are desperate asking about likes and if we have a place to *** ..i feel the worst part in gay culture is we get guys to sleep wiyh but we dont get friends ..and with straight friendds the moment we tell them that we are into men ..or comeout of the closet ..to them ..they shun us.. We are treated badly ridiculed ..
ousted out of the group..we are no more invited to birthday parties or meettups or functions ...thats quite depressing ..they look down upon us ...i have no friends ...its a sad lonely life ...the gay guys i met are more bothered aout *** ..the straight friends have distanced themselves from me as i came out to them ..there are few gay guys who just want to be hang out buddies wherr i spend all the money for them on drinks and food ..they would. just wanna come eat drink make merry and leave at my expenses ...we cant call them as even friends ...they are just looking for a sponser i guess to spend

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Posted On Oct 8, 2020 - 08:44 AM

@ Scaat beginner
Life comes in chapters ...one chapter ends the new chapter begins ..may be its time for you to move on ... Its easy to say to move on but i have been there done that ...so i can understand the pain , feelings we go through ...i can just say more power to you ... That you got up and dusted yourself and are ready to take new challenges in life and make yourself more stronger ...good you are moving out of a place ...get a new life ..new circle of friends ..dont rush things ...take your time ..give your time ...you need to be happy first ...you need to love yourself ...have a change in life ...change is inevitable ...change some times is good ...change adds variety which adds spice to our lifes ... Change in life is needed or we get bored ...hope my words didnt bore you ..sorry for my long essay ...sorry if i bored you ..take care... Move on for good

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Posted On Jan 12, 2022 - 06:47 PM

If they don't have any problems then why should we if it's only fun we are expecting from them .
If it's a relationship then there is obviously a boundary

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