Dealing with blackmail

This is a more serious topic as compared to the other light hearted ones. But i feel there is a need to address it as we live in a country where we are still considered criminals by law. Efforts are being made to change the situation but the risk of persecution and incarceration are real. Blackmail and extortion of gays has been common and one must be weary to avoid such occurances. The toll we have to pay as homosexuals is massive in these cases.

Were you ever in such situations before? If so, how did you deal with it?

What is your suggestion to avoid such events from happening?

Do share your inputs

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Displaying 1 to 43 of 43 comments.
No Picture newbieforum	Posted On Apr 13, 2018 my rule: stay away from strangers or money boys
No Picture Valentine84	Posted On Apr 13, 2018 Best way to deal with blackmails or to avoid such guys - Think with your mind not driven by your *** ***. Exercise caution. No blind dates. Meet in common place. Get the pulse of the person. Observe for abnormal behaviour. Look into the eyes. A lot can be seen from the eyes. Politely refuse to videos or pics during private intimate moments. Look before you leap. Stay safe.
No Picture intro_vert	Posted On Apr 13, 2018 Very good inputs from newbie and valentine.... Being careful is the key to being safe. Sometimes, even the most careful get into a hidden quagmire. I've known a friend who was in a 'serious' relationship for almost a year. Who took all the precautions mentioned above. The so-called partner took secret pictures of him when he was asleep. Then followed a series of blackmails, threats and it turned into a bitter fight quite soon. Inwas referring to cases like these where one takes all possible precautions bit is still prone to extortion. How would you deal a situation like this?
No Picture ruggedreb	Posted On Apr 13, 2018 I know avoidance is the best way but one needs to remember that usually the black mailer himself in most cases has kept his activities out of the knowledge of his close ones. I have been a victim of this. Such cases can be fought back by you being more cautious. However we only develop caution once we are bitten a couple of times. There are thugs that bully you on the spot for which you cant do much that is as good as getting mugged. in this case go to safe decent places many are available today.
No Picture tonedbloke	Posted On Apr 13, 2018 I know a friend in mumbai who lost a couple of lakhs to a "so called friend". He met the guy through a shared contact. That used emotional blackmail saying his brother is in hospital etc and needed financial help. He even had a woman call him pretending to be his mother and extorting money using emotional drama. Went on for a while before my friend realised that not only the money lent that was gone but there were gold ornaments also missing from his apartment. He could'nt do anything as the person just disappeared off the radar. Genuine gay people are generally more soft and emotionally more susceptible. My rule is 'never ever involve money" Neither lend nor borrow. Keep fun and money as separate. Some guys you meet just a couple of times and they come up with stories and ask for a loan assuring the return. Never fall for that trap. There are other sources they can go to get funds. Not your hard earned money.
No Picture Valentine84	Posted On Apr 13, 2018 @intro_vert - It's about the attitude with which you deal such people. Mostly it's the 'fear factor or emabarassment' these muggers use as a bait.. As long as show a 'CARE A DAMN' attitude to these guys they have nothing to bank on.. In my case I was initially worried to have my pics on such sites and many have questioned me too.. But I have had instances where my Facebook pics (though secured ) were taken by screenshots and cropped and posted on some gay pages. In this case what can be done ? It was taken from my normal FB page and that too without my knowledge just like ur friend whose pics were clicked while he was asleep.. I have had funny instances of guys who have my pics in their profile and text me in PR and Gr.. Just ignore these guys, with this internet and smart phone camera era, many click our private pics even without our knowledge, so instead of fearing for these guys just ignore them .. Of course if the confrontation is on spot it's a diffferent case, so always exercise caution. I would suggest do a cursory check at the least of the person. One easy way, check the number in truecaller. Now with the tagging feature u get a little clue of the person's background. But always prevention is better than cure.
No Picture needlove	Posted On Apr 13, 2018 For blackmail whether you are gay or otherwise, it is crime. If you report your homosexuality won't be in danger. On PR I have often come across with some ids who hv given information on how to deal with blackmail. They are volunteers and groups who help If I come across the information again I will post it here
No Picture 279743	Posted On Apr 13, 2018 I have been blackmailed. I was in my late teens and just started college. Those were the days of yahoo chat! Someone had my picture and blackmailed asking me to top up his mobile for INR1000. I was like I can't do it. What will you do? Expose me. Go ahead and do ! I'm already out and its not gonna make a difference. Never heard back from him again. Just don't be scared. Have an I don't give a rat's *** attitude and don't let the fear factor take over. I never let money come between me and any friends. I politely refuse.
No Picture Exotic1234	Posted On Apr 13, 2018 Kudos Neel Sanchet you nailed it. Fear and nervousness are the two reasons that make people a prey to blackmail. 377 cannot be applied randomly unless caught having a nal.
No Picture a wanderer	Posted On Oct 7, 2019 Yesterday i got a call from my friend who is from dehradun. With sobbing voice, he told me abt his blackmailer. He was his school senior, with whom he had some fun in school days. Now that guy is local goon and forcing my friend to establish physical relation with him. He also threatened him to disclose his identity to his friends, relatives and family if he doesn't abide by his wish. As a result, my friend who is just 21, got terrified. That goon also claims to have his nudes with him. What can be done in such situations? I am most certain abt he don't have any pictures of my friend. But still he can contact his family easily and make life difficult for my friend. Any suggestions???
No Picture Sasmathu	Posted On Oct 7, 2019 @awanderer First your friend should be really brave and also little cunning. Maybe he can initially start with texting that goon and make him chat nasty things in Whatsapp fb etc. Store it safely. Then seduce him (goon) to send some semi nude/nude pics. Store it. Once your friend has both he can turn the table around and can blackmile that goon. He should think cunningly so that he can generate evidences like pics, msgs, mails etc documenting the fact that goon is actually blackmiling. Since 377 is amended the goon can't do much except for treating to reveal the identity (which in any case he wont). On the other hand your friend would be better off he he has the evidence of blackmiling since by law any form of blackmailing is an offence.
No Picture Sasmathu	Posted On Oct 7, 2019 This is for chennai guys. Recently they have started an organization for gay men called magilvan foundation (https://www.magizhvanfoundation.org/contact-us/) at villivakkam chenai. The founders Yesuraja and Satish are Chennai based gay couple.I had spoken to yesu and he is a very genuine person. He is also there in fb. The organization is registered with govt. So no problem. They are well connected and would be able to provide counseling, guidance and help under these conditions.
No Picture Abhiggyan	Posted On Oct 7, 2019 Recently I had been a victim of extortion from a guy from Madurai who also had robbed my friend as well. I do not want to get in details but I must say be very careful in random hookups. Nowadays some guys who are living with transgenders are also doing this kind of thing. I contacted a guy who is a gay social worker but he also could not of much help. I just wanted to expose that guy so that other people beware of him but I could not do so. Within a short period of time I read about three gay crimes in India of which the latest one was of that ISRO scientist who got killed recently. Make nice faithful friends and with them also keep some reservations regarding privacy. Do not take any nude pics together.
No Picture Lips4hugepoles	Posted On Oct 7, 2019 What happened to the isro scientist?
No Picture Sasmathu	Posted On Oct 8, 2019 News story related to murder of ISRO scientist
No Picture Lips4hugepoles	Posted On Oct 8, 2019 God damn. Money means so much to some people huh
No Picture frahaad	Posted On Oct 8, 2019 This is why i don't like to have friendship with anyone. Especially from these types of sites or apps. Better to have random hookups in a theater than share personal life with someone you don't know and get screwed later on.
No Picture HeadsTailsAndHo	Posted On Oct 8, 2019 It is not good to generalise the things. Having friends is not bad. Extortion and blackmailing happens in str8 relationship also. Wrong is when we cross limits and trust other extra ordinarily. People want / share details in very first meetings like real names, real phone numbers, where they are from, etc etc. Why such things are necessary to be exposed? Evem after togetherness of long time, their is no point in telling people personal details. And always listen 6th sense' voice. And once u smell greed and cunningness and cheating in your friend, start being cautious about him.
fifty	Posted On Oct 8, 2019 Only solution is more and more gays become open about their sexuality. Then what will they be blackmailed for?
No Picture Mg_123	Posted On Oct 8, 2019 i agree @fifty but there's still a lot of social stigma attached to gay sexuality and it is not seen in good light.
No Picture radical123	Posted On Oct 8, 2019 The safest way to live and socialize with gay and bisexual guys are as follows: 1) Meet and talk to guys on gay and bisexual sites only. 2) Verify. Verify. Verify. Strictly verify. Check if he is really gay or bisexual or just a trap by cops or goons online. Check his social media presence. 3) Check if his intentions are 100% genuine, harmless, innocent and friendly. If he harms you, you'd regret later. 4) Meet him or group of men at LGBT parties ONLY or check if he is connected with other well known gay guys. And perhaps you can verify from that other gay guy if this guy you are chatting with is genuinely gay or impersonating. 5) Get to know a guy before you decide to meet. 6) There is nothing wrong to be cautious. Don't feel bad if you are feeling suspicious. Your own safety is must be your highest priority than someone else's feelings.
No Picture Longck4u	Posted On Oct 8, 2019 Its very bad thing rubbery and blackmail First need to all clear if u need money then tell clear but why they do that samefull think so frnd tacke care
No Picture Lips4hugepoles	Posted On Oct 8, 2019 @radical123 - but how do you verify a random guy you're chatting with on a gay site? I don't go to lgbt parties. So is there a way?
No Picture Joykiron	Posted On Oct 8, 2019 @ punetop there r people who uses mask of a gentleman to seduce real gentleman. How can these masked person be identified? Have u any short cut method.?
No Picture Boozebuddy	Posted On Oct 9, 2019 Blackmail is when someone wants something but what would call a guy who asks for nothing and simply wants to expose your sexuality because you have dumped him or moved on...
No Picture Daniel_M1900	Posted On Feb 14, 2020 Please go through the following links Gurugram: 50 executives trapped on gay dating app, robbed by gang Corporate bosses in Delhi fall prey to honeytraps on gay dating app How the police trapped gang extorting execs through gay dating app Out of 50 executive only 1 dare to go to police and they helped him! And here people still think that going to police is more risky than going to secluded places with Random guys Question is did police disclosed the victim details to their friends/family or media? Answer is Big NO
No Picture Unimate *	Posted On Feb 14, 2020 Despite so much awareness, still they fell prey as victims. What's the use being a senior executive or ceo when you can't handle safety norms!!!
No Picture Fatchubbyboobs	Posted On Feb 14, 2020 Listen to your gut feeling...your sixth sense does warn you when something bad is about to happen...move to a safe zone ..and dont fall into the charm and temptation of the opposite guy...this has become a new source to make money for rogues...most of the men on those hook up apps are gold diggers, black mailers ,looking for easy money, sponsers for high end life styles who can take them to movies, pubs ,bars ,all sponsered trips and tours...they want to live a life of luxury on the others expense...i still..remember the scene from I am ..movie ..where rahul bose gets duped by a cop and con gay hooker..its so close to reality....be aware... Listen to your mind than your ***/***...god forbid you get into such a situation...dont fear to approach the cops..if you dont file a complaint and report the crime .and take their help...if those criminals are on loose and you are giving them a chance to loot many more victims
No Picture PlanetMercury	Posted On Nov 12, 2021 This happened around 2 years ago. I wanted to book someone for fun and used a random site that no one probably is aware of.i do not want to disclose that site name here (not rentmen though). I found someone who claimed to be a mediator and sent some pics.. I liked one person so much that I lost my senses. Mediator asked for pics and I did share and he even video called me and saw me. He did not show himself. He asked me to come to their flat, but I decided to book a hotel and asked him to send. The hotel is really safe as you cannot even operate elevator without the room key. Very safe. I was waiting and then he showed the real cinema. He asked me to send money as the guy would be there in no time. I said I will not. Then he said he will send other guys to which I said no. That's when I came to my senses. He told me to transfer money and shared his paytm number in such a commanding tone. I told him I will not. It's probably from a jobless techie..within minutes he added bikini to my pic and added some stupid text message and told me it would be made available to public. I told him that I will send more pics if he wanted and asked him to upload wherever he wishes to. I also told him that in case I get to see my pics publicly, I will straight away go to police station and will meet him in person..that's it..never heard back from him..
No Picture toprod	Posted On Nov 14, 2021 the people who ask to transfer money via paytm or google pay etc. they all r fake guys. even my friend got fooled he paid 500 before meeting. after that sum slum guy came. this type of people lives in jogeshwari slum veera desai slum versova slum or malwani. they say that location where they dont go. if guy is living in lokhandwala andheri then he will say kurla. they only need money thata it. please many people r fake and dont send any money without meeting. understand why they r scared to meet ? cause person behind pic is someone else.
No Picture xohaileyshah	Posted On Nov 15, 2021 The society we're in, doesn't allow us to be open about our preference - may it be personal relationships or our desires.. People often judge us with their perspective eventhough we have no offence to their lives. There are many sites for dating our community people, but more than 80-85% accounts are either fake OR managed by perverts and authenticating anyone over the web is not feasible.. This ultimately ends up in meeting many falsehood creatures and nothing else.. However, we could always take baby steps in going further with someone we got introduced on the web - irrespective of whether you had a voice/video call, exchange of pics, etc... Just do not rush into anything, take your time and know the person well before you share same breathe.. The more you interact, the more you know and the more you connect.. As many members here pointed out, please try not to meet someone discreetly (outskirts of town, isolated place, late nights, etc.) but go for a movie date, street shopping, walk in evening, etc and if everything clicks, go ahead happily.. Most important thing, keep a speed dial or emergency calling configured for someone you trust (2 AM friend) as a back-up if at all you need any help.. To get blackmailed is ofcourse a worst thing but we always get some sense at a point of time that something'a wrong, we simply need to hold off and act on that cautiously.. Hope nobody else we know gets blackmailed now..
No Picture mayank_blr	Posted On Nov 15, 2021 Heard lot of blackmailing stories in Bangalore and Kolkata. We may not be aware of the person's intention so we may fall prey. In such cases support group always help. Also friends can rescue you to large extent. Make some gay friends... yeah grow up from *** manias and make good friends who can be with you and support you when you need. Become a good friend yourself too. They go a long long way. Few things which I learned from friends experience: 1. Dont send/receive money 2. Meet the person outside in some shop where there are people. Person with different intentions will avoid it. 3. Ask if something is different like looks, trying to convince you, self appreciating too much, or appreciating you too much. 4. Talking of love in first instance 5. Avoid buying them a tea/snacks/gifts initially. Pay your own bills and ask them too. 6. Dont disclose job, salary, family details etc. There are people who blackmail after making you fall in love. It is not love, it is a financial and emotional trap. Beware.
No Picture vishal_kumar	Posted On Nov 15, 2021 Contacting NGO's like Humsafar Trust is also a solid option. Has they deal with such cases pretty often and can help with legal counsel as well.
No Picture Mine4You69	Posted On Nov 17, 2021 1-First thing do not share your mobile no. Use Hangout which associated with email id. 2-Second thing do not share pics with face even front person share. 3-Third thing no recording or photoshoot while ***. 4-Fourth thing do not invite home directly invite outside meet and then decide. 5-Last thing no money transaction.
No Picture Mumdude30	Posted On Jan 11, 2023 Guys i have been blackmailed by someone , we had little videocall for like 5 mins , and yes my face and pvt parts were visible , first she contqcted me multiple times for video call, once i am online she shown some prerecorded video i guess and made me go nude . Now he/she don't know is blackmailing me . Only my phone no is shared with him/her , never really heard voice or anything . And yes i wan not in my sense while doing video call . Anything i can do ? I have disabled my whats app for now and not taking any unknown calls.
No Picture Shivakarthikeya	Posted On Jan 11, 2023 Don’t worry it would be awkward for few days later it gets used to my vdos were leaked that way am used to it
No Picture creamice	Posted On Jan 11, 2023 @mumdude30: nothing to worry bro.Its just their gimmick to get money from you. They are not going to do any *** with that.it happened with me and also with many of my friends. When they call you next time, ask them go to hello and f**k off do whatever you want.just chill.dont burn your head on this.
No Picture Daniel100	Posted On Jan 11, 2023 @Mumdude30 Approach Cops at the earliest... They will definitely help you! This is a common practice by thugs and you shouldn't fall prey to it.
No Picture Roykhannaa	Posted On Jan 11, 2023 @mumdude30 i agree with daniel100.. also dont worry these people just threaten.. dont do anything as such.. it happened with my friend too. He didnt show any fear.. and later the people stopped threatening eventually.
vanju1	Posted On Jan 11, 2023 @Mumdude30 - if you are reluctant to approach the Police on your own, then you may want to seek the help of some organization that assists people in your position as a victim of blackmail. Have you heard of humsafar trust? If not, you may want to google it and approach them to help you.
No Picture boylol	Posted On Jan 14, 2023 Many years ago before legalization one time I get caught to a cop when I had fun with someone and a cop looted me lot of money and I tried to get help with LGBT community help, NGO's association etc but of no use. They will call give counselling etc but of no use. They try to include you in the community etc. Most of the cops loot money, don't help unless you know someone in higher level in the cops.
No Picture Shivaprakash	Posted On May 3, 2025 My cousin and I have *** regularly later on my uncle came to know about this and he approached me an we too started to have *** without making his son know about it years went like this father and son had discussed about this slowly and started to use me recklessly and slowly property disputes arose within the family my uncle and others filed suit in the court against my parents and other relatives. It being so our relationship continued but they had recorded our *** act and hid their face and now demanding me to make my parents give up the case else would release the video and shame the family don’t know what to do
BankimSingha	Posted On May 3, 2025 @Shivaprakash that was stupid on your part to continue the relationship and let them record videos. Even if they did it without telling you, as a human with instinct, you probably knew that they're doing so. That being said, don't give in, if they threaten to leak the videos, threaten them back that you will tell everyone that it's them having *** with you.