Hi guys, this post is to share about the relationship..
Many of us crossed into a relationship life with guy(s) and we still remember those memories and person though we are not into any contacts or missed by some how or etc...
Let's talk about that here without violating any one of inner feelings...
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Sasmathu | Posted On Dec 23, 2017
Cant say whether this would qualify for a relationship. I met a guy through guys4men.com(now PR) about 8 yrs back. We met at his house and had great fun. Both of us were married had a kid but where looking in for fun and friendship in g world. Since both where sailing in same ship we met often but no fun since no place was available. Since he was at anna nagar we used to meet at annanagar towers and had a great talk atleast for an hour. We shared everything right from our latest g incident to childhood crush on next door uncle!!Non sexual but very pleasing moments. We never called often and met only a month and that to for a chat. But the sink in the wavelength kept us going for the next month till we met again. What started as a hookup turned into a mature friendship. But good things do not last for ever. After a year he got a job in canada and moved there with his family and there ended our relationship(friendship???). |
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263363 | Posted On Dec 23, 2017
I have had both good and bad moments in gay relationship. I have some really great friends whom I have know for almost 17 years now still in touch. I'm so happy n quiet few didn't turn up that well. Wish I had them in my life. Especially one bitter experience that I can never forget. Actually I met a guy through G4m in my early days n we met at Annanagar tower, after meeting we got into a good conversation n came to knew our families were friends too. And he was so friendly he knew everything about me n I knew all about him. He was a perfect partner, we were so close n even visited each other's families n too. Both our families knew each other as good friends. We used to altogether, shop for each other, travel, watch movies n hangout. It was a great time of my life we had such passionate friendship n *** . All of a sudden he left the country without even informing, no hint of what happened or where he went. His parents also moved along with him. After that I also left the country, but every time I thought of him I missed him a lot. I frantically searched for him in All social media n after years of trying I found him in Facebook n LinkedIn. I texted him n was pretty excited to talk to him. He spoke to me n he asked me if I could get him an iPhone from London when I returned to India. I said yes when I come back. When I came to India during Easter break, my luggage got misplaced in transit so I called him to say that it will take sometime to send him the phone. But I was shocked to hear him speak so harsh over phone saying that I cheated him by making false promises about the gift and I never intended to buy him what he asked for n he hated speaking with him. He unfriended me n blocked my calls. I went blank didn't know what had just happened, over all these years I was madly thinking of meeting a lost friend and when it happened I was so hurt. I never believed that it was he who acted like this......... I was heartbroken |
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Sasmathu | Posted On Dec 23, 2017
@gayapark i can very much understand what you could have underwent since I have also underwent the same thing. This guy was two years junior to me during my under graduation. Fair and good looking with a smiling face. Just on day one i got attracted to him but being a senior and an introvert couldnt move with him closely. Almost after two years i met him accidentally at my work place where i was doing a project. was all excited. he had known lot about me since i was very studious in academics and be became very close to each other since we were the only two students in that lab. After work i offered him a lift to the nearby bus stand. Slowly i started developing a crush on him and started seducing him. I guess he realized it but remained neutral. Towards the end of his project when he visited my house it happened. After that we continued our relationship with friendship and fun. It was heaven. Then one fine day he said he leaving for higher studies to US since he is not able to get proper placement here. Those were the days of no internet and so our relationship came to an end. After few years suddenly again i met him accidentally in the same institute. This time he had come to invite his mentor for his wedding and he also invited me. But what was shocking to me was he was getting married to his gf with whom he had been dating for the past 5 years!!!Which mean there was a brief period were in he was in relationship with both me and his gf. Even though shocking i accepted this and decided not to interfere with his life. I attended his wedding and also gave a good gift. It so happened the very next year i visited US and wanted to establish contact with him just for friendship. Frantically I searched the*** and got his contact details. But when I poke with him he spoke to me a cold voice and was unwilling to resume the friendship. After that he had visited India several times but not once bothered to contact me. He has not accepted my friends request either in fb or in linkedin. I have decided to forget him and have moved on with my life. |
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Exotic1234 | Posted On Dec 23, 2017
@sasmatu and @gayspark - Quite sad to hear about how your relationships turned sour.
Its a known fact that the Human Behaviour is very unpredictable. My 2 bits are :-
@sasmatu - I think in your case the other guy was infactuated and not in love he probably did not identify himself as gay. He wants to break all ties because he is probably embarrassed and guilty about what happened between the two of you and would like to close that chapter forever. Maybe he is worried he might fall for you again if he opens any channel of communication with you or his wife might get suspicious. Maybe his GF was aware of your orientation thru him and now he does not want to risk it anymore.
@gayspark - I think you should be thankful to God for the missed baggage it gave you a chance to realise that the guy was probably using you or could have used you for money even more. There is something about that guy that looks suspicious ; genuine friends will never ask for such expensive gifts especially if they have not been in touch all this while.
Relationships are always complex and a lot of it comes from your upbringing, our belief system, our assessment of the society/social norms and other life experiences. I have never ever encouraged a gay relationship to get serious beyond a point. May be during my growing up years I have internalised the fact that gay relationships are not meant to be long term and it has no place in the society. Over the years I have never been in a long term relationship. However with my experience and the stories you shared it appears that a lot of this apprehension is because of the society we live in. Unfortunately even after all these years it is seen as unlawful and criminal. I think if the law changes we will start seeing better acceptance. Look at the West where same. s ex marriages are possible and gay couples can adopt and start a family. They have all the legal rights. I feel only when the social thinking changes will people have the courage to form long term relationships. Until then it's just 50 shades of Grey 🤐 |
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Sasmathu | Posted On Dec 24, 2017
@exotic123 you just nailed it on the head. The came to the same conclusion long back. Only difference is i was also not in love with him. It was just fun with friendship kind of relationship. But in the Indian scenario i know this would never happen. Looking in for long term g relationships and making a family by adopting a child is just a mirage in the indian scenario.
@gayspark I agree with exotic123. Something is very fish with that guy. Nobody would ask for such a costly gift especially when you are trying to reestablish a relationship. Anyway i dont want to be judegemental here. Loosing that extra baggage is good for you. |
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Harshid | Posted On Dec 24, 2017
Nice comments of few...
Would like to pass my view..
Few years ago , i met a guy thru Orkut.. we were frnds together and keep doing chit chat online..after a year had a chance to meet him in a temple..he s a nice guy interms of look and way he talks .but I was not having a feeling of being close with him..after few months i had a chance to travel UK for work..I didn't even informed him before I travel which I felt very bad later...some how I called him and informed just before boarding into flight. He didn't scold but he said I could have come if u would have informed in the morning.. I said sorry and started . It's all the feelings started once I landed there..it was a new place new people and I felt very lonely there. I started calling him and we were sharing things.. we do Skype calls and talk for an hour and all.. suddenly one day he proposed me which was completely new.. i don't know about the guys relationship at that time..so I hesitant to accept..later we still more spending time thru Skype and calls..somehow he impressed me ..one fine day I accepted his proposal on his birthday.. after that usual chit chat happened in a healthy way..I was so adamant to stop the 2 yrs commitment and go back to India and wish to spend time with him...finally I back to India and spent a week with him in Blore as he was staying in Blore..all touch up happened except the final climax 😃.. it was going smooth for 6 months and again I was pushed to travel back to UK for 6 months.. all problems started once I went there..I had an insight that he used to meet people and having fun and all.. instead of directly asking I did a big mistake. I was having another friend ( intro thru Orkut)..and asked him suggestion to overcome this issue.. this guy got all contact details of him from me and went directly to his home by introducing me as a frnd..later I know this guy ( with whom I asked suggestion) is pakka cheater nnu.
He went there and told that ur bf was having doubt and asked me to verify nnu ( changed what I asked actually).. next day my bf didn't attend Skype call and I got a message from
Him that " I had a fun with a guy who u sent for verifying me"..I was stunned and really felt bad about the incident..finally my bf attended and made him understand the actual things..how ever it was a broken glass..so couldn't get back to original form..after I came to India I was trying to meet but he denied as he still think that what ever I did its the complete mistake..for me it took very hard time to come back to the normal life.. later few years I became frnd in his FB and he invited me for his marriage and all.. however till now he s not willing to meet him..
I feel very bad the mistake I did in my life till now.
Really a relationship life is so heaven when there is no such issues..it will be so hell after u bree |
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Harshid | Posted On Dec 24, 2017
relationship life is so heaven when there are no such issues..it will be so hell after u breaking ur relationship..I felt both .. |
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Exotic1234 | Posted On Dec 24, 2017
Relationships are always complicated and friendships aren’t that’s why I choose friendship over relationships. Unfortunately I can never seem to have s ex with a friend. I can never look at them that way as far as relationships are concerned I keep it short and sorted. I am friendly with people I have a relationship but they can never be my friend
The funny part about gay hook up is if you are desperately looking to meet some hot guy thru PR or Grindr it does not happen but just when you are not looking you get to hook up with some hot guy you are least expecting from. I already posted this in another thread about a police guy we met by chance at a Tea shop exchanged numbers started calling and would have talks. He was amazing looking guy from Trichy or Madurai with well toned body tall mush etc. We met once again in person but this time I could sense he was looking forward to something more than short term. I cut ties with him after a cool off period of 2 months when I called him he was quite heart broken at my approach and the way I backed off. I did feel bad for him but I was not wanting to trust a police guy and my own personality does not believe long term relationships have a future so better nip the bud before it flowers. After reading some of these posts though I feel I might have hurt people unintentionally in the past. Not many but a few. |
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263363 | Posted On Dec 24, 2017
@exotic1234, yes break ups in relationships can be painful. Actually gay relationships are not socially supportive here yet. I know my limits n limitations hence I don't expect an other guy to commit into such relationships if they are already in relationship with a woman in their life. The best that can happen is a genuine friendship with mutual understanding. It is just like straight guys having friends we can have gay friends that's all. What learnt is don't take it too much to heart. I don't know if I'm right or wrong. If any mistake excuse me |
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Marriedbi | Posted On Dec 25, 2017
Hi all
After reading few of the post, I am urged to write mine...
I came across a person in g4m( 2009), we exchanged numbers, that person wasn't from chn but he said a visitor.. We spoke once and agreed to meet on the weekend however it got totally slipped from my mind. But he called me on the day.. Only after receiving his call. I realized that I forgot about meeting him and told him will meet in an hour
Was really lazy to go however since I promised went.. Believe me the moment I saw him walking towards me, I felt a bonding which I have never felt with anyone. He smiled and that made me clean bowled.. From that moment to this minute.. I love him and yes we are connected but He made it clear though both of us feel like committed its not mandatory to be away from having fun with others. Pure love won't demand or command.. Initially it was a pain when he met someone else but he would be transparent and let me know before even meeting. And few of the friends played in between us. I went a big trauma during those days. I had few friends from pr who have been supportive and helped me to realize the words of My man. He isn't cheating but made it clear that I own a place in his heart and no one can replace..
I had my own doubts about it but eventually as days pass by I understood the love and care he hss for me. And in reality its true we can't be under the same roof everyday. now my relationship is smooth because I understood the expectations that I had was all unrealistic..
Be clear in what you expect from your partner and understand their expectations.. Your life and relationships will always blossom
Thanks to God for giving such a person to be in my life.. Its almost a decade and still I love him like day 1 |
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Rahulsam | Posted On Dec 25, 2017
I never tried to have a relationship with a guy, coz i know someday or other i will get married. But i believe in long term friendship with like minded guys. A longterm friendship never worked out with any guys i met thro g4m, grindr , or orkut or facebook. Those were only for one night stands or max 2 or 3 months. But i have very good long term friendship in other means. Like with guys i met in train, in office, friends friend whom i met in a marriage, my friends brother etc. All going cool till now. Mostly without fun, we share everything, go for trips n travel once in a year together |
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Harshid | Posted On Dec 25, 2017
@exotic1234-you are right..but at the same time relationship is like heaven when u understand ur partner and not to restrict him much..have seen many of the relationship not go more than 3 yrs ..issues are start getting from 4th year onwards..there are various reasons behind thar..according to me there are 2 main reasons
1. Hiding and losing trust
2. Controlling much(possessive) and reducing the comfort of partner being open..
Trust and love are the factors for close bonding..
In this case, I like the relationship life happens by foreigner..they are always giving so much of respect on the relationship which I have seen when I was I UK..
It doesn't mean we are not having...we are in a situation we have to go where our society pull us.. |
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Exotic1234 | Posted On Dec 26, 2017
From my life in the western world, there are a lot of couples (straight & gay) who have this concept of open relationship. This means that you stay married but are free to meet with other people. A basic level of transparency is expected like the couple would tell who they are meeting etc. Some gay couple meet other people together but and have a 3 some. I participated in a few 3 somes myself and its fun. They probably do it to get the monotony away and spice up their relationship. However the East can't emulate all western values our thinking and society is different we are not individualistic in our thinking but believe that we also have responsibility towards others like parents etc Anyway I do not want to be judgemental about which way of thinking is better but yes I do agree that when people get possessive in relationships all trouble starts. Best is to give your best and not have much expectations. |
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Sasmathu | Posted On Dec 26, 2017
This is an interesting incident which i had atleast 15 yrs back. At that time chatting was the only way for hook up. There was this famous chat room called chennaiguys gays chatroom no 9 in yahoo chat. On weekend it used to be so full that getting entry into that chat room itself used to be so difficult. But once you gain entry you might even pick up a guy right from the next cubicle in your internet centre. Almost all chennai Gs would be there. On one Saturday I ended up getting the number of a guy who said he was in villivakkam. Those days I used to be too cautious and would never exchange any pics. I was also too conservative and was strictly against meeting married guys or threesome. These were things which I laid upfront before meeting any guy- and this guy was no exception. So had to travel all the way to villivakkam from kellys by my oota sooter!!! The guy was ok, but the first shock came when he told me he had no place since he lives with his wife and kid. However he took me to his friends place. I told him very clearly that I am not ok with threesome and even if we go to his friend's place it would be only between he and me. However after meeting his friend I had to rethink my decision. His friend was a cop, tall well built hairy with thick mush- my dream man. Immediately I changed my decision and we had my first threesome- awesome. Latter while returning back he told me he and his friend (who is married and his wife is in kerala) are in relationship for the past 5 yrs. Whoever gets a hook-up will share it with the other person. This helps them to break the monotony and also to strengthen their relationship. These things are very much their even in our Chennai setup but in a illai marai kai fashion. |
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sakthidev | Posted On Dec 27, 2017
During my college days, was in a relationship with my hostel next door mate. We were like very close. Except f**kin we did everything. It ended in my third year. He said that didn't want to continue as this relationship won't last long and this world won't accept. By saying this we l he Broke up with me, blocked me on FB, changed his mobile number. But still I managed to get good contact number. Now he is working in Chennai. I call him on his birthday. He won't pick up as usual. I text him then. After 10 messages, I get a single reply like thanks. That's it. |
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Sasmathu | Posted On Dec 27, 2017
@sakthidev Please dont do that. Whether g/s in any relationship it is not worth to beg a relationship whoever it may. Self respect is a must. Only when we have confidence and self respect others will respect us and even love us. Let me tell you the golden rule of all relationships. It should be water on a lotus leaf. Hope you get it. |
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Harshid | Posted On Dec 30, 2017
@sakthidev...you view may be differ case to case... Not sure all people looking 1night stand ..may few or more than few of them looking which you can identify easily... priorities and preferences are keep changing..so people moving based on that.. |
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tonedbloke * | Posted On Jan 9, 2018
I am re posting my comment from another thread about ' marriage"
Let me add my experience as a mature "unmarried "man in a relationship with another man.
It is the best experience to be in a long term relationship. I have never been married and I cannot comment on life as a maried man. But the feeling of sharing your bed with another man on a daily basis is great. Relationships do have ups and down but dealing with it and accepting the flaws in your partner is part of life. You yourself are not perfect so why not accept the same from the other. But... it is very important to find a erson with the right mind set. You should be able to share at least one common hobby. Financial situation must be made clear in the beginning to avoid misunderstanding later. *** is just great. You can be so much more free. Over the years there are periods when *** does become a bit monotonous but there are periods when there can be a lot of passion. Try to look good and maintain a decent appearance for your partner.
Accept that either of you will stray at some point or the other later in the relationship. |
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Exotic1234 | Posted On Jan 10, 2018
The supreme court has asked a special bench to review the Sec 377 decriminalizing homosexuality. A lot of politicians and actors and media support this time. Once decriminalizing is over there will be an increased acceptance of gay relationships |
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