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Means to be gay in rajasthan india


Submitted by Ruhanruhan Location: Churu (Rajasthan, India)

Ruhan 40 from rajasthan

I am really happy with the court's decision announce in favour of LGBT society. It will help people in cities express themselves without fearing the law.

Rainbow flag of the LGBT community

But sadly, it's different for people like me who live in villages.

It's not the law that we fear - what troubles us is people's perception. I hope that the media's coverage of the verdict will help people understand that homosexuality is normal.

But LGBT people have a long battle ahead of them before they can live without fear. I have lived my whole life in fear and this may not change in the near future.

I was 14 when I realised I was attracted to boys. I was initially confused. I tried not to think about it. But the feeling kept troubling me, so I decided to talk to a friend about it.

His reaction shocked me. He told me it was disgusting to even think about homosexuality. He started to avoid me and, soon, we barely spoke to each other. For years after that, I never spoke about my sexuality.

When I felt sad, I would go to the fields and talk to trees and plants. I didn't feel judged and they became my friends. I still talk to them. I was 18 when I moved to a nearby town to go to college. But things didn't change. I was depressed and the world didn't make sense to me.

I always felt guilty but I didn't understand why. I wasn't doing anything bad. I eventually mustered enough courage to tell a teacher, who seemed friendly. But that was a mistake.

The teacher called my parents and they took me back home. My father was furious. He thought it was a disease that could be cured. He took me to quacks and shamans. They gave me all sorts of concoctions - one of them said I should be locked up in a room for a week. And my father did that.

I still live in my village but I have been offered a job in a big city. Hopefully, things will change. I want a partner. I want to love and be loved.

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Displaying 1 to 3 of 3 comments.

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Neeta *
Posted On Dec 6, 2021

It is heartbreaking to hear what you had to go through. Be strong and be true to yourself and please do take up the job that has been offered to you. It will give you a fresh start and an opportunity to live life on your own terms.

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ashish7890
Posted On Dec 15, 2021

very sad to hear your story..
i would say just move on in life but yeah have a job in hand and you can do wonders..

All the very best..
you can DM me.. i can talk to u and make ya feel better :)

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***
Posted On Feb 19, 2022

Thanks Ruhan for sharing.
I understand that it is tough in Indian families and society for boy/son to come out as gay. The anxiety, depression, isolation that you talked about is probably part of every man's story ...at least to some degree.

A lesson for all of us can summed up by Allama Iqbal's quote:Khudi ko kar buland itna ke har taqder se pehle Khuda bande se khud pooche bata teri raza kya hai.

Taking that big city job may be a sign for you to explore the "big bad" world, make some new friends, build your social circle, build a family of friends who you can depend and count on, who will support you without any judgement.
You might also find what you are looking for.
Best wishes.