Being used - share your experiences
We all might have crossed or heard about this at some or any point in this G life.Share that moment when u realised that some one had used you for any means passing time,money, emotions...
Not here to judge about the action.Just how u felt and how u overcame that feel.
Am sure those who had been used by others would definitely made some mistakes like believing or trusting that person blindly or with some reasons.Don't like to argue and pointing their mistake again and again.They might have matured now
Just share some experiences and situations or point at which u felt that you had been used
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|Displaying 1 to 20 of 20 comments.|
|Posted On Apr 17, 2018 - 10:01 AM|
Pandi - I guess you are young but you will learn soon enough that life has a funny way to teach us the lessons that it wants us to learn. If someone has used us our smartness is in making sure we learn from it and make sure it does not repeat the same mistake over and over again. If we have been a victim more than once then we have to introspect and understand what makes us so gullible and correct it rather than pondering over the history of why and how we got exploited.
|Posted On Apr 17, 2018 - 10:10 AM|
@Exotic - I got your point.Recently, for the very first time I thought that I had been used by one person.will share it elaborately in next comment.
But, as u said am very young soon will learn to handle all things.Thanks for ur comment, it gives me a great message
|Posted On Apr 17, 2018 - 10:18 AM|
To be honest being a bot or vers bot hurts,. Because top or vers tops think that they are alpha male and bottoms are inferior.
Most of the tops that I met are not reciprocate the same I do in *** and emotions. I kept falling for the trap.
|Posted On Apr 17, 2018 - 12:02 PM|
@Hellosweetshere - I understand your pain but thats not actually true in all cases. I have seen bottom guys being more promiscuous than top or verse guys. Infact I have heard bottoms confess that no matter what kind of person he is, a big *** is a turn on for them. So a role of a person has a least influence but it's the moral integrity of the person matters than the role he plays.
Coming to the topic of being used up. I often use this comparison "USED TISSUE", that's the feeling I often got from people who laid me down. As rightly said by 'exotic' it's your teachings from life and experience over age you get to know how to handle it. When I was young, I was seduced by a 52 year old guy even elder than my father. All he did was a buttering up talk for 3 long months until he got me to bed and from the very next week he didn't even bother to return my calls. After so many years he finds me in planetromeo and again asks me for a date. Had he asked me for a date back then I would have readily accepted him but now I realised how easily I had been fooled by him. I learnt my life lessons mostly the hard way but what all these experiences taught me were that I shouldn't repeat those mistakes and learn to move on. Also I always wish I don't hurt anyone the way I was been hurt and for the very same reason I don't meet anyone below 25 and years and when I realise someone falls for me emotionally I try to make him understand.
I had a nice chat with a fellow ohmojoian and he gave me this advice which I am gonna share here "We invest in shares or stocks anticipating the monetary returns, similar when we invest on people we expect that emotions as return " Like investments are subjected to market risk, investing on a person is our own personal risk. Thinkwise and invest your emotions else you will always end up being used up only.
|Posted On Apr 17, 2018 - 01:36 PM|
@Valentine84 Thanks dude. Yes not all of them. But there are good people exist like u Gayspark Ragu..... Im glad about that. But as for as im concerned most of the time tops didn't take my calls. When they call I spoke n met them ... Thats what happened . my emotions and desire are not respected. I do have own share of a good tops respect n protect u help u. 90% are not like that
|Posted On Apr 17, 2018 - 05:18 PM|
@valentine - Being exploited by a 52 year old at such a young age is horrible. In fact every day we hear about the child rapes being reported all across the country. Wonder what kind of a unsafe world we are leaving behind for our children.
Anyway I totally love the last line you mentioned. Must be a really wise guy who told you that !! 👍😀
|Posted On Apr 17, 2018 - 06:27 PM|
@exotic1234 - worst part that uncle rather grandpa told his age only a week before he got me to bed but by then I was easily made his prey and his age didn't matter to me. Looking back I still feel very ashamed, if not my orientation why should I fall a victim to the lust of an oldie.. That's my worst experience ..
Oh yeah., About the last line, it was indeed a diplomatic guy's words but only those within the quotations, the last half was my add on and so I have to share the credit with the fellow 'ohmojo-ian' . Good that 'oh mojo' reminds me a lot of the community pages of the good old Orkut days..
|Posted On Apr 17, 2018 - 06:42 PM|
Pity hearing all your stories of victimization.
Fortunately, in my case i wasnt abused by anyone.It was outta my own sheer curiosity and liking i got into this and should say that the other person, though quiet older than me allowed it to happen.
I was jus in my 4th std , we had our family friends and this guy was around 14 yrs elder than me. Those days we used to visit our relatives near triplicane during summer holidays. Since marina was a stone's throw from triplicane, most often than not, we used go for a stroll to Marina and spend some time there.
While elders were chatting somewhere , myself and this guy who was already in his college used to go around playing ( those days marina was not crowded the way it is today). There was this stage called Sirani arangam which is undermined now. Around that place there used to be a lotta dark pockets. One fine day, while playing, i happened to touch his manhood inadvertently and there was this surprise waiting for me . I was so damn excited feeling the size of it despite being flaccid. Think of a 4th std guy feeling a thick meaty girthy one for the first time...It was bliss. I got hyper excited and without taking a second thought started exploring further, to which he dint object. There was this second pleasant surprise waiting for me - A fully erect one. Speechless for a while and was caressing it to my heart's content.
This became a practice then onwards. But *** n stuff all started only from my 20s. :):):). Lovelyl exp to cherish.
So, in my case, it was me who a kinda played with that guy instead the other way around.
|Posted On Apr 17, 2018 - 06:57 PM|
This happened to me when I was 16...
I had a friend who was 15 at the time, a year younger than me... We were roommates in 'a' hostel (not gonna go into details about that).
We were very close and I thought he was one of my best friends at the time. One night we were lying in my single bed, talking, late at night face to face... He was talking about his family and stuff... Our faces were close,... our lips touched, but we didn't move away... It evolved into kissing and a make out session.
This went on to for a few nights in the next week. He like being touched and I liked touching him... Made me do a HJ and one night a BJ... It was my first experience with another guy (actually another person period)... Thought we were in 'love' LOL.
I graduated after 2 weeks, couldn't talk to him again for a while be coz of hostel restrictions.
Tried msging him in FB. Told me not to contact him anymore, coz he knew "What You Are". He couldn't even say the word 'gay'.
The words I associated him with: Best Friend, Love, My first. All shattered. Was heartbroken and disgusted with myself for a long while.
Conclusion: He just used me and threw me away when I was of no use anymore...
|Posted On Apr 18, 2018 - 02:17 AM|
Past is past. I had all good bad times. But never ever had a meaningful conversation with any tops.
Now whoever I talk to they make a lot of sense.
So far I spoke to Valentine and Ragu. To be honest I never ever spoke my heart out. But here I could do.
Most of the conversation used to be.. Place irukka? Sari night un roomukku care.. Dei en roomukku variya ... Dei en friend kita unna pathi sonnen. Unakku ok na num kudukkure... Etc......
But here we can discuss about a lot of things. Its really good platform to pour ur heart.
|Posted On Apr 18, 2018 - 03:51 AM|
Being a DOOR MAT sucks and is really a sad thing to happen. It literally crushes the soul of the person used to the core it takes a long time to get out of the inferiority complex it creates. I'm no exception to it. It happened to me in my just once. Such a naive n gullible guy I was. I used to travel 2 hours in B'lore traffic just for a 20 minute meet almost everyday to Cafe Coffee Day for more than two weeks. I trusted that guy and his sugar coated words to fall for him and speak long hours into the night! Here comes the day Mr.Dumbass comes home , sleeps with me only to hear back never again.
Life teaches you lessons and sometimes it is hard. Just reflect on it and you'll learn something and make sure not to repeat the mistake. Its difficult to find love in a world were *** is so easily available. A lot of people can't differentiate lust/infatuation and true love. The other reason is we tend to have sky high expectations. Don't expect anything in return.
I have seen most tops in India do that! They wouldn't really care if the bottom is enjoying the act and also make sure they get to climax and satisfied emotionally/physically and if they are done with their business they call it a day. This attitude stems from the societal norms where they consider them more macho and take on the role of a man and the bottom is played off as someone from the weaker *** who can be controlled or dominated.
|Posted On Apr 18, 2018 - 05:52 AM|
@neelsachet : It’s a part of growing up in life buddy. As long as you have learnt from it it’s all good. You meet all sorts of people in this world and everyone comes with a different agenda. If you probe ask questions you almost get an idea about what the other person is looking for. Unfortunately when we are *** the part between our legs takes complete control from our heart and mind. That’s the reason we feel cheated. If you reflect back closely you probably would have got signals that you chose to ignore. Being dumped is a sad feeling but it happens to everyone. In the gay world more often than not it’s only about looks and looks and looks and finally hit the bed. That’s why I have come to respect this forum on Ohmojo where it’s all about sharing opinions and views on varied topics.
Also coming to the other point it almost looks like a case of Tops Vs Bottoms. In the western world most men consider being a top and a bottom as being different sides of the same coin.They change the role based on the partner and the mood. In India and a lot of countries in our neighbourhood (Pakistan for sure since I met few of them in London) being a top unfortunately gives the men an impression that they are not really gay coz they are doing a mans role. This belief also results in several s ex starved straight men exploring the gay world. It’s a misconception but you can’t correct it.
|Posted On Apr 18, 2018 - 09:17 AM|
I feel that quite a few of the so called tops are really just straight men searching for a hole to put their *** in. For them it doesnt matter the gender of the person they are enjoying with. These are not gay top men. The true gay top men would never be "pure top" as they would understand the need of the bottom partner and at least caress and make out with them. There would be some emotional connect as well.
My first "love relationship" was with a 37 year old Iranian man when I was 17. He was "pure top" and only wanted to be *** and then would ***. There was no kissing nothing. But I was at such an impressionable age at that time that I felt he loved me. I had never had *** *** with anyone before that. The act was so personal for me that I mistook that as love. He was in the merchant navy in Iran and used to come to mumbai to give his exams. He used to stay a few weeks, give his exams and then leave the country for months at a time. When he was in mumbai I was his to be used as he pleases. During the absent stage, there was no communication what so ever. I used to wait for him to come and out of the blue he would come and call me and i used to run to him without a thought. He had a wife and kids back in iran which I came to know much later. I was such an emotional wreck at that time that I couldnt concentrate for my board exams and though I used to be a bright student, I didn t fare well in that important exam. Luckily I did make it to a great profession later.
This relationship with the Iranian continued for 3 and 1/2 years and it was during one of the long period of absence when I met my current lover. I wanted someone as a friend and he was there. Slowly it blossomed into a love relationship. Though the ex (iranian) did come a few times in between and almost wrecked my current relationship, we weathered the storm and its been 25 years now with my current boyfriend, still very much in love and looking to be with each other till death do us apart.
So though I was used in the first relationship, it did give me a lot of strength and experience to help me in my current relationship. I can appreciate my current boyfriend much more.
|Posted On Apr 19, 2018 - 06:35 PM|
The topic might had been much more complete & wholesome if it had asked us to narrate the instances when we have used others for our own ends as well..at times the hunted becomes the hunter as well..our minds r so tricky, it will choose to remember only when we are exploited all the while conveniently forgetting the instances when we have exploited others...only when we analyse both these together objectively, will we make a real progress, otherwise it could become a hypocritical exercise.
During my school days & during the first few yrs of my college, i used to be quite selfish, short tempered, arrogant, vengeful, ungrateful in my dealings with people around & even with my own family members..then came severe blow after blow in my life in every aspect, adding to all that was the confusions relating to my orientation...i almost went to the brink of mental collapse..it was an eye opener for me, it was make or break scenario for me. At that point I started reading good books on holistic living, eastern philosophies & psychology and also got the friendship of some very good souls...all these gradually created a u-turn in my thinking process, emotions, behaviour & attitude towards others..as within so without..as my attitude & behaviour changed positively, so did my fortunes, i started attracting more and more good luck & good people into my life..life became very peaceful & blissful. Most of my prayers were answered. I do make some slips rarely while dealing with people but quickly rectify & atone for them.
Living as a single person, has its own risks & pitfalls..close relatives & friends would often come asking for money, many times it wouldn't be returned back as well..they think that being a single person, i wouldn't have any expenses at all...at times people within my inner circle have put me in a very complex situation or indulge in emotional blackmail to extract some favour from me.
This happened many yrs ago, one of my friends wanted to stay in my house for a week, since many guests had come to his house from his native place...week became a month and month became months..for 3 months he showed no signs of going back to his home. He used to leave home at odd hours, return back late in the night, bath for an hour, take food at odd hours etc..situation became unbearable for my parents, then somehow we plotted an idea and packed him off..later on he realised his error and apologized for his behaviour..
Now I neither exploit anyone nor do i prefer to be exploited either..but to those in my inner circle i would like to be vulnerable & flexible to a certain extent..
|Posted On Jul 7, 2018 - 11:55 PM|
Most tops do that. I have given BJ to so many top cab drivers , we exchange numbers, but not a single one calls back or recieve calls. I have given them best time of their lives, but in vain. They don't answer calls. I feel so bad. And the ones who call back , ask for money.
|Posted On Jul 9, 2018 - 03:12 PM|
had a neighbour who lived in the adjacent block in delhi who lived with his family, only called when he wanted to *** me, which was more than twice a week. Ah well not essentially only he used me, coz i used him as well.. i wasnt looking for anything else from him other than the huge monster *** he had and the enormous energy he had to ***! time well spent i must say lol
|Posted On Jul 13, 2018 - 05:54 AM|
bottoms are victims because in the indian soceity it is plain humiliating to get *** in the *** and maybe strangely enough this exact humiliation aspect is what turns many on.One has to understand that there is a lending of power during the act when a bottom gives power to a top to do what he wants .But for most tops,they are not gay,many think that the act of *** a guy does not make them gay and they are manly hunks with a huge ego just doing it because the bottom wants them to..a true gay person are mostly versatile,where pleasure is to be given both ways in a respectable manner. most dont respect you and think of u as just another peice of meat and bottoms end up as victims.
|Posted On Jul 13, 2018 - 05:59 AM|
one of my friend and me used to have drinks together
after heavy drinking
he started playing with my ***. n he said he wants to *** as he was gay and he had crush on me from long
he *** me , i loved that the way he *** and later on we met so many times and in bandra at my place he used to come
i started kissing him as he wanted to kiss him. licked his *** also those things even i was enjoying
so m here to have fun with more guys
|Posted On Jun 2, 2019 - 04:24 PM|
Being ignored if they don't like you is best thing then he saying he loves and cheats you and played wt your emotions.. The more trust u keep in a guy there is more chance of getting hurt always keep 50% doubt it will always help you if othe guy is ture no issue.. But never look life from your window try other views of your friends about your partner.. Gives a complete understanding for future steps and further proceedings in life.. Don't share unneseary information not needed..
|Posted On Jun 2, 2019 - 04:45 PM|
Bottoms have to wear loaded top.he never care the hurts to bottom when he is in full. Some bottom have to face damage in *** musles badly.