Married bottom dilemma

I am a married bottom married for 4 years.

I have been doing bottom acts since college. And I thought I will leave being a bottom after marriage, but time and again every few months(3-4) I get a huge urge meet some top and give BJ. And I always do it.

But the after guilt is too strong, with things like I am cheating on my wife. And everytime I think, that this was the last time, and pray to god to pardon me just this last time. I delete my all accounts(ohmojo, planetromeo etc) and live happily until the urges start agian later.

How do other married bottoms come to cope with this? Have tou made peace with this that youwill be doing it forever or some other way ?

P.S: Got the guilt today as I met a top and had fun for 2 hours being a total ***. And when I left, bam! guilt starts.

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No Picture Bandrasc_hlong	Posted On Apr 21, 2025 Tbh it's an individual thing many sub bots were totally closed with relationships and stuff and did this to serve their desires.there were few married guys into niche kinks such as sniffing *** *** *** or getting a *** bath, then there were some courageous ones who came out to their partners based on their initial reaction , some women were against it, some supported it but didn't want to know, and the best ones actively joined, those were the couples that took their camaraderie and companionship to the next level
No Picture Harry80	Posted On Apr 21, 2025 Nice , what level u r in
Longwick	Posted On Apr 24, 2025 I had threescore with many couples and mostly guy happen to admire the *** and start craving and soon they open themselves as bisexuality. Girl are open to that. They enjoy *** 90% I asked few wives how they feel about cuckold and this lifestyle they say if it's in room let it be enjoy yourselves. Women are complicated they expose everything within limits.
No Picture Harry80	Posted On Apr 24, 2025 Luckey
fifty	Posted On Apr 27, 2025 Watched a movie named Dear Dad. starring Aravind Swami. It captures the dilemma of a married gay guy, how he lands into the situation and how he decides to come out of it. The conflict gets solved quite easily for real life . A question on the title of this thread - do only married bottom guys have a dilemma? tops dont? Is there a conception that bottoms dont get *** or are not capable of having intercourse with a woman? All this is more psychological than physiological . Isnt it? So a top also may not get aroused by a woman and there will be bottoms who have been satisfying there wife.
No Picture BH@2225	Posted On Apr 27, 2025 I m also a married bottom.... Curiousely developed men to men *** habit in my school life..... After my graduation... I got govt job.... So i left this being dedicated in my duties.... After few years i got married.... Met very honest wife.. Born children..Thereafter... Service and family responsibilities became my everything so never thought about homo ***...now children are well grown up... I m retired... Wife is 45 plus.. Now i feel strong urge for bottoming.... So i met and enjoyed with few men.... Which i enjoy very much in this 50 plus age.... But with extreme privacy from family.. Relatives and known peoples... Have *** with wife once in a month.....
No Picture Mr_calvinharrie	Posted On Apr 27, 2025 @fifty great prespective but I guess I dosent matter if ur top or bottom u r in same situation my friend is married and vers bottom He don't get any difficulty having *** with his wife it's just he don't enjoy some take vigra some naturally can do
No Picture Jigs_love *	Posted On Apr 27, 2025 @fifty ... Nice point... Also to add on that it is much more issues with Bisexual.... We bisexual feel urge for both genders.... Attracted towards women and also urge to be a bottom with a nice top.... It becomes complicated as neither of the urge is affecting the other one....
No Picture smacarbon	Posted On Apr 29, 2025 Hi @choosnewala, I am an 0mnis3xual. I am versatile with men, so, I do get my a55 f0cked or s0ck a c0ck, whenever I have urge and get place. I do not feel that, I am cheating on my wife because she is not at all interested in s3x. I do make her 0rgasm 90% of the times we have s3x. But still she never initiate anytime, and never allows me to l1ck on her pu55y to make her reach 0rgasm, if I do get early ejac. Many times when I want to intiated she is engaged in household works till late that, my mood get off due to irritation of waiting for her to come to bedroom, sometimes she is engaged in teaching the kids, sometimes she make excuse of getting up early to pray, etc. So, to fulfill my needs either I have to either jack0ff or visit others. I have had gone to pr0st1tutes and massag3 parl0urs (male & female) whenever I have spare money, got handj0bs or bl0wjobs. Otherwise I go to gay apps to get men. I crave physical attention, and I try it from somone other than wife. So, I do not feel guilt or remorse.
No Picture chubbybttm50	Posted On Apr 30, 2025 I had a very early exposure to gay world me and my friend in 3rd or 4th standard fondling each others cck. I was amazing. Then started indulging in gay fun when I was 25ish. Was enjoying it. Then I got married. But as all said the gay side was always open. I am more towards bttm and lou to deep suk and suk ***. I am more attracted to feminine guys . As said above, there is always guilt when have such encounters but cant ignore the fun part as well. AS they say enjoy till it lasts
No Picture dals	Posted On Apr 30, 2025 From childhood have had *** with males,continued in school,college and even during working life.Yes after marriage continued but wife doesnt know.im also cuck curious so do get guests at home and my bi partener(s) also come in sometimes with clear that wife wont know of the secret interest. i enjoy those having a big one and hearing absured things bout how my toppers express their desires bout wife. in open ,even vulgar language.Excites me a lot, i love it
No Picture Manshish	Posted On May 4, 2025 I'm married with 2 kids. My wife is aware about me, she saw my chats on multiple occasions, discussed few times and I've promised i don't do it again. She often checks my phone, i never step out of the house other than work. I got no friends, i don't meet anyone. I can't even chat with my old friends with whom I had good time. I hardly used this site to read some experiences and what's happening around. Living a compromised life but I don't blame her, it's my fault marrying a girl, I should have settled ny life with a guy or being single. I do feel the urge of hugging a guy, feeling a guy... I often feel, i will take a day off and meet someone during my office hours, stay in hotel etc but never come across any guy who is okay to meet during weekday... Both kids keep me busy at home, so I don't regret this life completely... But I'm lonely, very lonely...
No Picture Getsharon29	Posted On May 7, 2025 I am a married guy aged 36 and got married at 33 however I developed this feeling of admiring big c0ck and thinking of scking it around the age of 28 and started chatting however never got an opportunity to indulge in it. Used to cuck chat as well before marriage with my gf n fiancé pics and last year she caught my chats with other girls, fortunately not with guys but since i am also confined to home and deleted all my accounts because of guilt.. I have a kid of 1.5 years and am not that attracted towards my wife now due to she being busy with household chores.. she wants *** but i dont aroused.. not that i dont love her but no ***.. happens once in 3-4 months.. but now m feeling the urge again to sck and cucking.. hoping to find a genuine buddy with same feelings..
No Picture Marco69	Posted On May 8, 2025 Don't you worry, let yourself go and keep it secretly, until you find the way to communicate it to your wife.
No Picture Fivestar	Posted On May 10, 2025 The best idea is to trap your wife and she should agree to have bisex if she's guilty then she'll let you in my experience when a women taste another *** she will need it again and again. Only the first time will be difficult then you both can live happily there won't be any guilty. If you need any help on this dm me
No Picture Aisleluck96	Posted On May 10, 2025 @bh2225 how do u manage that as kids are growing up stage or already 16+ age now..but secretly how do u manange to.meet and get ***...in hotel or their place...how do u do chat with them and are these other men also married?
No Picture Pixie	Posted On May 16, 2025 @choosne_wala, You lied to your wife, you lied to your family, you lise to your freinds and you are lying to yourself. You are living a dishonest double life and you will never be happy. It's natural for a gay to have *** with a man, I don't understand your guilt after having *** with a man. Doesn't matter how much you try to control your gay *** urges or feelings, it will never go away and you will never be able to control all your emotions. You didn't choose to be gay, it's nature, or if you are religious, its god who made you gay. To be honest, if I were you, I would come out to my wife and family. It would be difficult initially but you will have a long, honest, happy and peaceful life. Your wife, family & freinds will understand you, if they love you and respect you. If they don't, it still doesn't matter because they are no good to you if they don't understand and respect your natural gay life. Be gay, Be happy.
No Picture Virginbot92	Posted On May 16, 2025 Same Dilemma here too, being bisexual bottom & married it is difficult to know when and how to open up. you try to avoid this urge itself but then it remains inside you and does pops out every 2-3 month.
No Picture Sartakk *	Posted On May 16, 2025 All the married bottom guys here can talk to their wife nd try to explain her all about the desires nd inner feelings. Then your wife will understand your situation nd might support you also. You can also ask your wife for 3some where both you and your wife can enjoy in same sexual activity without having any guilt.
No Picture beerbuddy	Posted On May 16, 2025 I don't know the what conversation is going on !!!! But today I am very happy, so sharing my feelings pls don't judge me ... I am 33 yr old married guy, since marriage I leave my old life in which I had a lot of m2mfun ... I suppressed my feelings when I have an urge for then i tried many times but no body show interest in me...might be I am not good looking as much, as earlier i was....so much disappointment although my other life is going very good, nice earnings and understanding friendly wife and family support...after all things I have but I am depressed and missing
No Picture beerbuddy	Posted On May 16, 2025 Cont. Today my depression leads me to wine shop while coming back from office in ggn, I had two beers and driving my car( i know traffic rules and i am taking care of everything pls don't lecture me drink and drive) near about sec 10 I got nature call so parked my car on road so isolated place around park ...there a guy came i noticed him and he is such a handsome young teen, he showed me his small heavy meat assets and gave indication to follow him , i followed there I just s..u..k him for 2 mins ....he told me he will come back but I was frightened as I was not aware of the place and risk about it ..so I left from but with these 2 mins I got so much joy can't explain.... This incident is related to 15thmay 25..still have freshness of his....I hope u all understand
No Picture sandyh	Posted On May 16, 2025 @beerbuddy take care brother, no harm in exploring and having safe fun as long as you are being discreet. no one has to know and make sure its all safe so you dont take any disease home. millions of married men around the world have *** outside the marriage, i think it is normal.
No Picture ***	Posted On May 17, 2025 The most convenient lie among married Indian gays and bisexuals is "I have happy married life, because regularly have *** with my wife and keep her "satisfied"", I always wonder- 1. Does the door swings both ways? does she also has the same liberty to fcuk around because she regularly has *** with her husband and claim to keep him "satisfied". 2. How many men have actually have balls to have candid conversation to ask their wife if she is truly satisfied in the relationship, but not just sexually. I remember reading a survey report conducted in Gujarat by Prince Manvendra's foundation where an astounding number of straight married women disclosed that they knew that their husband is gay or that they screw around with men. When asked why they choose to stay in the marriage, unanimously the response was- 1. social security, 2. less chance of husband leaving them. If the husband has relationship with other women, there is fear of him leaving her, but a gay husband will never leave a marriage to be with another guy. Women know... they have their instincts and understand the difference between intimacy and sexual act. We may not be wired for monogamy, but we are hardwired with possessiveness for our partner, especially the ones we are intimate. I never understood the randirona of gays who chose to marry and blamed it on parents, society and world about the "pressure" and how they live a dual, compartmentalised life. Every choice has repercussions, deal with it.
No Picture Easy_mark_5	Posted On May 17, 2025 In the USA wives peg their husbands but here in India if I tell my wife that I want to get *** by her wearing a strapon she will laugh at me lose all her respect for me and will.srart openly shaming me and might start *** other guys in front of me.
No Picture wolfie72	Posted On May 17, 2025 This can only work if you talk to your wife and give her the same liberty as you have,this might sound kinky and stuff but it is serious,bottom guys deserve to be cuck and that’s how it can be stable for the e marriage,only take care that you satisfy her other needs so she doesn’t look for divorce.
No Picture Sartakk *	Posted On May 17, 2025 @Easy_mark_5 hey what's the problem if your wife starts *** other guys in front of u. If u can *** with other boys for ur pleasure then she need to be also taste her pleasures and satisfy her desires. So basically u want to cheat ur wife by *** other men's but didn't want ur wife to have *** with any other men?? How strange
No Picture sarasar	Posted On May 17, 2025 @Sartakk : no one things like that most of the married guy they need some pleasure name sake of gay they will use single gay people for them they won't share number anything they will be smart. we can't change person mind in life!!!
No Picture yash8795	Posted On May 17, 2025 By not getting married.
No Picture Sissyvarsha_699	Posted On May 19, 2025 I don't think there no such dilemma. I am enjoying to the core with top older than me and younger than me
No Picture bicuriousvirgin	Posted On May 21, 2025 Context is important, culture, morality, circumstances, society, technology etc all these are ever evolving. How homosexuality is perceived today in 2025 is very different from just 05 or 10 years ago. I am almost 40, When I was in my 20s, single and mingling, the mature men I met online and offline, I was advised to get married because that was the perception then. Keep up appearances, get married, get stability, have a family life, these urges for gay *** will come and go etc and I believed marriage will make me forget gay ***. There was no one to talk to, no forums for discussion then, but now after almost a decade being married with a kid, I advise GAY MAN (top or bottom) should NEVER MARRY A WOMAN. Being single is difficult but better for everyone. I am versatile, I like to *** a *** and get *** and also like to be *** and to ***. The virility of a man turns me on. I love my wife and my child and my love for them means I never want them to get hurt by finding out about me and I wish they had a better deal in life. This thoughts are depressing. But somehow I go on, dragging myself ahead with my lies and my fake double life and my occasional *** with men. I keep my wife as sexually satisfied as possible. I don't want her to have *** with another man. Double standards, I know but I am from that era which I hope gets replaced by better viewpoints by the younger generation. Tough luck but this is my life and I have to go on somehow with the choices I made. I tell to everyone who passed judgement on married gay men, you have no idea how difficult it is for them, they are also victims of their times and the world they live in.
No Picture Lostboy_06	Posted On May 21, 2025 I have such bottom friend in this situation and there is only one solution to have a open conversation with your wife after the *** and tell her about your desire and give her a chance to express her desire nd step by step openup with yr wife's desire and give her freedom to fulfill and take yr freedom. it will take long time but in this way you both can have a guilt free life.
No Picture soft_sam	Posted On May 21, 2025 @bicuriousvirgin I am in the same boat as yours Leading a dual life. i dont want to hurt other’s feelings but at times I want to listen to what my heart says.
No Picture Oh_Roy_Khanna	Posted On May 21, 2025 @bicuriousvirgin tough life dear!!
No Picture everydaygayguy	Posted On May 21, 2025 @Sartakk- agreed!!!
No Picture Sartakk *	Posted On May 21, 2025 Guyss!! Let me share you my story I too used to be very scared hiding things from my wife and then one day while having tea in the evening, I asked her about her sexual desires and then I told her mine that I love her but I like to have *** with boys also and on hearing this my wife asked whether she is not able to make me happy then I explained to her in detail that I am very happy with her but till I do it with boys once in 2-3 days, then my love for her also starts decreasing.  I explained to her that if you want then you can also try another boy with me, then she said that you will not feel bad and what will you think about me and what if you get angry when you see your wife with someone, then I told her that I will not feel bad if you do it with some boy in front of me for your happiness and if both of us fulfill our fantasy together then what is the problem in it and just like I have the right to fulfill my desires you should also have the same, she was very happy with me and then we had a good hardcore *** after that. Then after a few days, we started searching for boys together on Ohmojo site and after talking to one boy, I invited him home but when he came to our house, my wife was shy at first but after talking for a while, she became comfortable and I and that boy started *** first and when we were having ***, my wife also joined us and we had very intense threesome *** which went on for 2-3 hours and after that all three of us were very exhausted. The most surprising thing happened when instead of feeling sad and angry on seeing my wife having *** with another boy, I was feeling more excited and the painful sounds of my wife were making me even more intensely erotic due to which I was able to enjoy *** with that boy more. After this threesome ***, my wife came closer to me and she became very happy with me and started sharing everything with me and now she started taking care of me so much that I cannot describe it and the most important thing is that I have no fear of cheating on her and I have no guilt either and we always have threesome *** once in 2-3 weeks due to which my wife remains very happy and so do I. After this new sexual life, my wife has become my best friend and our love has also increased a lot where we do not hide anything from each other.
No Picture Akshaypatil1234	Posted On May 22, 2025 Loving and caring bisexual bottom. Looking for long term friendships and fun. Kinks and Fetishes explorer. DMs are open for chat and connect
No Picture Sartakk *	Posted On May 22, 2025 After my story many of you messaged me to know how they can convince their wife too or how they can share their secrets with wife to remove all the guilt feelings inside them. So here is few tips which I followed and you can also try:- 1.Bring it up as a hypothetical Asking her as a “what if” takes a lot of pressure off the question. If you really aren’t sure how your wife feels about three ways, try talking to her about it as a hypothetical question. That way, if she’s totally against it, you can simply move on without bringing it up again. Try something like, “Have you ever thought about having a threesome?” or, “What if, hypothetically, we invited someone else into the bedroom? 2. Focus on how it might spice up your *** life. Reassure your wife that it would benefit the both of you. If this is your fantasy, your wife might be hesitant, simply because she’s never thought about this before. Try describing to her how much you’d both like it, then let her sit with the thought for a while. Say something like: “It wouldn’t all be about me, it would be about you, too. Think about how much fun we could have trying this new experience together. 3.Start with a few new things in the bedroom. Starting small might help ease her into the idea of spicing up your *** life. If you two always have *** the same way, try introducing new positions or having *** in a new place. Or, head to a *** shop and pick out a new toy or a fun outfit. Then try these things in the bedroom to see how she feels about doing new things with you. Bring this up by saying something like, “Hey honey, I was thinking we could spice things up a little tonight. How do you feel about doing something a little different?” If an in-person *** shop is a bit much, try browsing online and ordering something to your home. If your wife is open to it, you could also try watching *** together. Find a few that include three ways so she can see it happening on screen before you bring it up. 4.Let your wife make all of the decisions. Make your wife feel safe and comfortable by handing her the reins. If she seems open to talking about a three way, assure her that she could pick the person, pick the timeline, and say stop whenever she wants to. Be open to any of her ground rules that she lays out, and respect whatever she says about the situation. You can tell her this by saying, “If we were to do this, you’d have total control. If you ever felt weird or uncomfortable, we’d stop everything right away.” 5. Talk about who you’d have it with. Discuss together whether it would be a friend or a stranger. The “who” in a three way is very important, and your wife might have some input on who she’d like it to be. You probably don’t want to bring up one of your friends—if you do have someone in mind, let your wife bring them up first. Otherwise, suggest that you go pick someone up at a bar or find a third on a dating app together. In general, having a three way with a stranger is less messy than doing it with a friend that you might still see at social functions. But it’s up to you and your wife to decide who you’re comfortable with. You can ask someone if they’re open to a three way by saying something like, “Hey, my wife and I were thinking of spicing things up a bit. How do you feel about being our third?” 6.Emphasize the fact that it won’t affect your relationship. Your wife might be worried that your relationship could change. Before you have a three way, let your wife know that sleeping with someone else one time isn’t going to push you apart or make your feelings for her any less. Tell your wife that you love her and that you’re excited to have fun with her. You could say something like, “I just want you to know that having a three way won’t affect how we feel about each other. You’re my number one, and you always will be no matter what.” 7. Discuss any underlying issues in your relationship. Having a three way to save your relationship will never work. If the idea of a three way seems appealing because you’re trying it as a last ditch effort, take it off the table and work on your relationship instead. Bring up any problems that you two are having and hash them out together before even thinking about spicing up your *** life. If you and your wife are having trouble working through your issues, consider making an appointment with a couple’s counselor.
No Picture Gridlock_1 *	Posted On May 22, 2025 At least you are fulfilling your fantasy, I can't even muster up the courage to meet someone in real life. Yes I understand the guilt, I felt it when I even chat online, but you're physically meeting with someone, I can't imagine your guilt. You're brave to talk about it and do not worry. It's quite the confusion, especially when you're married and have to live in a closet. But sometimes the heart wants what the heart wants and that's just being human. As long as you're NOT physically or mentally hurting someone and everything is consensual, then I don't think you're doing something wrong.
No Picture IlliosSun	Posted On May 31, 2025 Wtf is this thread...it was fine till having secret *** life along with married life...but sharing your wife with others!!! And thats make you feel good/aroused!!!!!!...not only that you guys discussing how to drag your wife into this ***!!.... Wtf...maybe i am not married that why I am not getting it but *** that I don't even want to. You guys left me traumatized lol.
No Picture LanjavarshaCD	Posted On May 31, 2025 I don't have any dilemma. Just get set your mood with men we meet either top or bottom. Have fun and go back home as nothing happened without any hickies .
No Picture VisitorTopWP	Posted On Jun 1, 2025 I am married and top and had bf since college.. i still manage to have bf with whom i am doing it fr years now.. you cannot help as it’s within you.. life comes ones and so love yourself and your needs.. rest whatever has to happen will happen..
No Picture Loveknight93	Posted On Jun 3, 2025 I'm 31, bottom. I don't want to get married because my lust towards men is uncomfortable. I can't love women. But in our country there is no freedom for gays. I'm scared what if remain single for life long. I can't tolerate lonilenes.
No Picture Dil_Bottom	Posted On Jun 3, 2025 I’m married bottom recently. I think my wife will cuckold me as I have small tool
No Picture JenaBraja	Posted On Jun 3, 2025 If that happens .. visit Hyd .. we 3 will have a good time together
No Picture Top4funonly	Posted On Jun 4, 2025 Reading some of these encounters made me *** for having threesome with couples…
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