Cruising a taboo
Cruising is unethical, unhygienic, is for old and ugly people that can’t get laid, eww… I am writing this post because seems a lot of people look down on cruising and are acting to prohibit it . But the truth is before all these apps ever came out gay/bisexual men met at cruising places for them it was the only way it was a safe place. Unlike the apps where everyone feels very entitled I guess cruising is a raw emotion, it gives opportunity for straight curious bi or even closeted gay guys to explore their identity. For some of us it’s more than that it’s a kink a rush that you won’t get elsewhere. So I hope everyone reading this keep there prejudice aside and enjoy the act. Said that being a active cruiser myself here are some tips and dos/don’t for my fellow community members.
Be respectful - just because someone is not your type does not mean you have to be mean and disrespectful to them.
Respect boundaries - A no is a no. If someone is not interested in you please don’t push yourself on them.
Read the signs - general rule of thumb is always to start with an eye contact. Tap your foot to indicate you interested. Show off a lil if you are acknowledged and reciprocated
Be safe - Goons and policing is everywhere closeted discreet gay/bi men are easy preys/targets. Don’t be afraid play it slow play it safe, anytime you see a red flag post in a forum like this. Avoid the place for a while and look for alternatives
Don’t be too obvious - remember most of the cruising places are public so maintaining the decorum of it is essential. Don’t just *** in front of any fellow mates using the space. This results in them complaining and we loosing a good spot
And at the end have fun guys ! Sometimes shooting a load out in public has a thrill unmatched !
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|Displaying 1 to 32 of 32 comments.|
|Posted On Dec 18, 2022 - 02:39 AM|
|Posted On Dec 18, 2022 - 05:30 AM|
I did not rely on cruising much. I find it risky. When I was in Delhi, a nearby park used to be a cruising area after 8 p.m. I met a couple of guys there. As you said, we should not judge, but there used to be an old guy who by looks I found very frightening. He would stand like an idol at one place only. He had pox marks on his face.
Once I tried to contact one guy who I thought coughed for dropping a hint. He talked back rudely. I gave up the idea of contacting people in that way since then. I find apps safe. We can discuss many things beforehand.
Once I met a guy there and we moved to a secluded place in the park. We were just talking and a constable emerged from the shrubs around asking what were we doing there. Afraid at that time, I now laugh thinking how committed is police minding other people's business.
There also used to come an old uncle who never accepted he was gay or bisexual. He used to sit and play a flute. He was a self-taught flute player so it was out of tune kind of thing. I started talking to him and he used to gossip about how he used to cheat his wife for other women.
|Posted On Dec 18, 2022 - 09:08 AM|
I'm sure the "elephant in the room" was pretty much ignored for countless reasons. So it's good in more ways than one; that it's being brought out in the open. At some point in time, I'm also sure many of us must've questioned ourselves when cruising (alone); What are we doing? Have we reached an all-time low? Are we being cheap? lame? are we lacking self-respect? or worse .. being a s**t for that matter. But on the other hand, in quick defence and justification, we can very much put it forward and say , "it's my life, i know what i'm doing, i have my needs. if i get into trouble, then i blame myself for not being careful"
This is the way we're seeing it, the way we experience the thrill and dangers of it all. Those who criticize and do a lot of finger-pointing, will never understand it.
|Posted On Dec 18, 2022 - 04:31 PM|
Very well said.
There's nothing wrong in exploring your sexuality.
But cruising is highly addictive behaviour once you start doing it.
Maybe because of my vibes, I've mostly been successful in cruising and many guys, twinks, uncles have approached me directly, fondled and played with me. It feels addictive at times and I try hard to keep it in control.
|Posted On Dec 19, 2022 - 01:20 AM|
I appreciate this topic.
I have seen people people are criticize abt those are going cruisng place.
Some people dont have place, may b some family issues, but visiting cruisng place have different charm.
When straight people doing fun with their gf at park or in cinema hall, people are not critisize them.
Basically gay community always critisize other gays.
Its very important that wether the person doing unsafe *** or not.
|Posted On Dec 19, 2022 - 02:56 AM|
Ever since i discovered cruising I've realised its a lot more thrilling than swiping through people on Grindr. Its got a great kick to it, though people do look down about it. I'm open to my cruising sessions only to people who are also into it. Otherwise i mostly keep them to myself. But I've had some pretty great sessions cruising and i can never have enough of them. Yeah one should be careful, should approach tactfully and stick to their lane. Once you are following the basic ground rules, it's your game to play.
|Posted On Dec 19, 2022 - 06:11 AM|
Cruising is fun i agree.
But i have never tried mindless cruising.
Like getting on d street at 9 pm and deliberately walk on streets/ I'll lighted parks etc.
Rather i like cruising at the usual places one visit repeatedly.
Like gym/ swimming pool/ bar etc.
Find it much more comfortable to connect in such settings
|Posted On Dec 19, 2022 - 06:57 AM|
@Daddyrunner, absolutely. It's all on comfort / safety level as to where you intend to cruise. It's no fun at all if you have be in abject fear. Many people prefer to be in their zone. And that's ok. As @ShantanuUnu mentioned ; There people who go out a lot probably to escape family issues ; just get out there and be free for a while. One thing for sure cruising shouldn't end up being an "anecdote" ; it could have adverse effects on your life, health. Many may not agree with this, but there are some who know better.
|Posted On Dec 19, 2022 - 12:34 PM|
How to approach someone in a cruising spot, i am not that attractive to attract others attention easily. I tried while travelling, it was a thrilling and sometimes awkward and some time fearful if that guy simply sought loudly....
|Posted On Dec 20, 2022 - 12:33 AM|
All the people I have met so far is at the cruising spot
I am attracted towards older men and all till now I have got are older men..
It's safe and respectful with them
|Posted On Dec 20, 2022 - 08:40 AM|
I have started crusing Very recently. only after going through this sites places.....i .have lots of fear....this threat will be extermly useful for me...i have approched few guys here for accompanying with them...if anyone can help me i m from borivali area...
i have got many people following me whenever i have visted these spots but i couldn't make up with anyone out of fear....so would need guidance....
also guide on how do we avoid people whom we are not interested in...in one experience i had one guyfollowing me for a long distance so i have to run away.
|Posted On Dec 20, 2022 - 11:32 AM|
I have been cruising for a while and I can share some of my ways to do it
1) eye contact : a bit of a stare goes long way so make eye contact with guys that you are interested in and see if they do the same
2) smile : a smile generally is an indication that you are interested in some one and if they smile back at you it’s a deal
3) foot tapping : a universal sign for guys that cruise is foot tapping this can also be done in a stall where eye contact is not a possibility
4) show off : when you have established from the above steps if someone is interested show off your *** a lil you don’t have to expose yourself may be just gently stroke your *** and see if they get curious about that.
*note - cruising is an art and needs practice start slow and don’t get too obvious if someone follows you that you aren’t interested it’s always better to walk away and get lost in the crowd. Try again after sometime when that person is gone.
|Posted On Dec 20, 2022 - 03:49 PM|
I was been into a cruising spot in Hyderabad named seeshmahal theatre.,.. 1st day i was scared when someone coming towords me for any naughty thing i got out from theatre as a virgin without doing anything bcs i don't like men there all are smelly n all was unto oral s*x bt not into rom*ntic way..
Again i visited 2 times one guy ****d me for 3 min at the end if the show.... Thats. Not a big deal bt.
3rd time most of the ppl having fun dont want to distrub them n love to k*ss n have rom*nce for a good looking guy bt all belly fat uncles nd boldhead ppl approaching so i left early with in 45 min.... Dont know y.... Nd i was having problem with my erect*on in that theatre, it doesn't mean i dont like it ... I love to have with guy bt not in my way other times i get full erect*on
Sometimes i feel fear n gulty tooo on myself thing that how myself got deegraded.... Don't know how can j express my problems
|Posted On Dec 21, 2022 - 01:02 AM|
If ever you come across a blackmailer don't be shy to approach authorities. It happened with a girl. Once you fall into their Circle they just prey on you. So better to expose the racket.
|Posted On Dec 21, 2022 - 03:20 PM|
This post definitely needs a hell loads of appreciation ❤️
|Posted On Dec 21, 2022 - 03:28 PM|
@amorous_desire has given many tips that works.
In addition, some more:
(5) Gentle touch : Touch the guy gently, doesnt have to be his crotch always. Touch fingers, rubbing hands, clasping may trigger interest or looks atleast. If the guy is of the tribe and is interested, he will respond. Touching any where else, if in a crowded place may also work, like leaning over body, brushing against butts or thighs can get hard to resist.
(6) Gauge the response : Try to gauge how far you want to go in the act at that cruising spot. Be aware of your surroundings and if it can be risky. You may be tempted to just drop trousers but check the situation before you decide it.
(7) Overcome Fear : Everyone of us who have done it have gone through fear. It only has to be overcome. There will be hits and misses, sometimes bad experiences. Listen to your gut and act.
(8) Safety First: STD/STI can easily affect, for the wrong step. Especially in an anon set up. Be aware!
|Posted On Dec 22, 2022 - 05:54 AM|
Cruising is tiring, but thrilling..
And for me, a soft gay bottom man, people easily recognize my gay identity though I look like a gentleman when fully dressed.
I don't know what's the chemistry, but gay top men used to say that they get aroused while looking at me, and thank god, normal people never suspect me that I'm gay.
Now with the availability of gay websites, it's easier to share your interests and get the ideal man.
|Posted On Dec 22, 2022 - 06:10 AM|
@mister_thrill , you're correct; i experienced it many times in crowded buses. Gaytop men approach me with body touching and pressing when the bus takes turns. If the guy is neat and clean and looks employed type, I used to cooperate; and if he's rude and villain type, I just move away. Got some best friends this way!
|Posted On Dec 22, 2022 - 07:55 AM|
crowded busses mein kaise approach krte ho?
I mean how do u fig out which guy to go near to?
Then how do u initiate?
|Posted On Dec 22, 2022 - 01:04 PM|
@Dinesh_hot I have been to the same place with the same thoughts and got over it... don't assume or pretend yourself to be someone in the world..
Just go with the flow... Nothing is permanent... Just find happiness..
|Posted On Dec 24, 2022 - 06:42 AM|
@Brv2308 It's easy in crowded buses if you have the patience. As a gay bottom man, i'll tell two scenarios:
1. Me with no facial hairs and little bit reddish full lips, gay top men who have the gun fully loaded, somehow recognize me as gay bottom. The I need not to do anything, thy approach me and do the rest.
2. If I'm in mood, I just look for a masculine guy with big moustache and body hairs on hands and neck. I just stand by his side and rub my breasts on his body when the bus takes turns. After initial body rubbing, I find place to stand straight in front of the man with my buttocks rubbing his tool. Be careful to do this safely only when the bus turns or someone rushes through the crowded bus.. And if the man is a gay top, he's sure to get an *** and will manage the rest.
|Posted On Jan 2, 2023 - 08:41 AM|
@Mithun69 my scenario is also like yours. with fair skin, soft looks and behavior, men easily find me out. many men and top directly approached me for ***. i am proud about it.
Urinals are easy hunting place. the moment i unzip, i start looking at other di cks. they also look back and understand about me and take me to secluded places. most of the sessons ended up as fu cking ***. there is nothing wrong in cruising. it is just a way of meeting for ***.
|Posted On Jan 2, 2023 - 03:26 PM|
The most boring (or irritating) part of cruising is that everyone out at cruising spot act as if they are not for cruising there. We all know at some spots, people are either there to pick up or get picked up. Act accordingly.
I can understand the fear of being outed or taken advantage/ hustled, but that's a risk you are taking by being at the cruising spot. What's the use of going at cruising and then act all ignorant about it.
I was in Banglore last week and decided to go to Cubbon park at 9PM. While I agree that the charm of CP has gone. There was a time that you could chat or play with 3-4 guys in an hour and then if you want to bang, then take or go to some safe place. But last week, all the guys there were just plain miserable. From 9pm to 10.30PM I was there and all guys strolling/ riding around from Soudha to Press Club were just stuck up. There were all looking for fun, but no one was approaching anyone. I (tried) talk to a guy, but he was so scared, that barely a word came out of his ***. I can understand people can get nervous, but not to be able to even answer simple questions or communicate is sheer waste of other peoples time.
It was not all bad, atleast 1 Banglore guy had balls to chat, say hello and have general conversation. Too bad we both were looking for someone to suk us off.
Always remember, S*x is in the eyes, but you still need to take initiative and respond for any action to happen.
|Posted On Jan 2, 2023 - 03:52 PM|
@behen I guess the fear of the sanskari police is too deep rooted. These people believe that they are doing something illegal if they talk to someone else. It's the guilt deep within which will make them the next moral police and never let LGBTQ way of life gain legitimacy in India
|Posted On Jan 3, 2023 - 07:14 AM|
I like reading comments on this thread and couldn't resist from adding my opinion. Indian culture is distinct from the rest of the world. West has no culture of its own whereas the east has distinct cultures. The two are polar opposite. Unfortunately Indians fail to identify this. LGBTQ acceptance is about social acceptance. Saying that west accepts LGBTQ is full of ignorance. I can name so many western countries that do not accept LGBTQ. Men in India specifically are devoid of morality. They marry a woman but still sleep with men. They do not have guilty conscience. Many men are very promiscuous and their mannerism is a big turn off for generally conservative society. Instead of fighting for LGBTQ rights and creating a discord in the society people should just accept their fate and live their lives to their social expectations. You guys cannot even show your faces in Pride parade so take a chill pill. Rather than changing the society just change yourself. None of you have the caliber of a great leader.
|Posted On Jan 4, 2023 - 02:34 AM|
@Justdome- Pot, Kettle, Black???
You lost me at "Indian culture is distinct", that's the most sham sentence people hide behind. While you may want to pretend that somehow Indian culture is distinct, but when it comes to value system, community/clan influences, religious dominance, family unit structure and so on it is no different than Latin/ South American, African, Southern European, Middle Eastern, Mediterranean and other South and East Asian communities.
You seem to be confused or ignorant about the term " Down low". It describes men, irrespective of their sexual preference, cheating on their spouses/partners with same or opposite Gender. So it neither unique to Gays nor Indian men.
Saying west has no culture is the most beyond ignorance. I hope you do understand that culture is a living thing and it adapts and changes to changing times. If your Indian culture is so star spangling awesome then lets bring the SATI practice and child marriage back and make polygamy official, because apparently all these things were part of your distinct Indian culture.
"Indian men are devoid of morality"... hahahaah, you surely know how to crack a joke of the year. Men in general are very sexual. Irrespective of nationality, religion, community, ethnicity, polygamy is accepted for men. A teenager sleeping with multiple girls is player or a stud, but a girl sleeping with more than 1 guy is branded ***. Look at your handle- "Justdome" Just Do Me, how much desparate one can be?... I digress.
The topic is about cruising culture- cruising spots, etiquettes, situations, and taboo about cruising in general in the gay community. I'm sure noone here is planning or claiming to start world revolution, so rest assured, we are not staking our claim of being great leader. We will leave that to you. Cheers!
|Posted On Jan 4, 2023 - 04:42 AM|
What a show of ignorance!
West has no culture? East has? I once met a 70 year old women in a cab on the way back from Brighton. Brighton is famous for its vibrant LGBT culture in case you do not know. The understanding and solidarity she showed was something I've rarely seen even among supposed LGBT activists. That's culture. And that's a western country. Please don't believe West is the US. The US is shitty and will implode soon. The rest of the western world won't.
Also, do not compare cultures. Every last one of them are so distinct that comparing them is putting an apple next to an orange. Besides that, there is no such thing as an 'Indian' culture. It's a set of sub cultures. What you call as culture in Maharashtra is not us down South or on East. So you're mistaken of your basic understanding of our 'culture' right at the first sentence. That annihilates anything you've said on it later on.
And foregoing discord? Really? So what, we should all go involve in honour killing sprees as punishments like we used to? Or walk around the city at night beating unmarried couples up? Do you know who did stupid *** that in the past? The Aztecs. Do you know what happened to them as they continued doing it into the 15th century? Wiped off clean.
A society is not a set of rules. It is an ever changing machine. You change, you evolve, you survive. You keep living in the 90s, you get swallowed up whole.
|Posted On Jan 13, 2023 - 05:47 PM|
this is an important post for the gay community. i hope that dangers spots could also be uploaded by people who have witnessed or heard about incidences. besides physical dangers, TAKE CARE ABOUT YOUR HEALTH< as STDS/VIRUSES are everywhere. as long as people refuse to get tested at least every 6months,EVERY PERSON IS A DANGER and in danger!
|Posted On Jan 17, 2023 - 10:45 AM|
This is a good post with many good and constructive replies (with one rather confused post about culture being the exception).
Let me only add that for a self-identified white faggot who needs to submit to Asian men cruising spots offer a far better chance
to get lucky than the internet. When men see me naked and on my knees in front of a group of men, they know what I am about
and I don't have to battle stereotypes about white men being tops. This happens on the internet more than it doesn't even when
clearly state my needs. Communication at cruising spots is more direct and more honest. You either take what is on offer or leave
it and I am quite prepared to wait until someone is interested in using me.
My experience in cruising in India is next to zero. I mostly got hooked on Indian men during my stays in Southeast Asia, i.e.
Singapore and Malaysia, both conservative societies but places that offer a rather safe cruising experience. For example, I remember
being gangbanged by three mature Indian men at a sauna in downtown Singapore while a group of Singaporean Chinese men watched.
Now, I have only spent a weekend once in Mumbai a few years back and I only know that I have to come back and experience India
(and Indian men) more thoroughly. To that end, I agree with all the contributors who say that current information about the safety
at certain cruising spots is vital.
One final word about culture. The important points have already been made by the contributors, so this post is more like a reiteration.
Culture is not a thing that comes neatly packaged and with a label like "Indian culture" or "European culture". Culture is a set of
continuously evolving practices, not an immutable thing. On the contrary, like certain chemical substances, culture is highly reactive.
Certain aspects of a distinct culture travel across to other cultural spheres and form something new. The original is not lost but it
has reacted with its host culture to form something new. This is one of the fundamental aspects of culture which is why culture is
never pure and any claims to the contrary are necessarily flawed - or most often ideological. One last thing, the US may go through
a rough period but be careful what you wish for. With the war in the Ukraine, Europeans know that they need the US even though
the US is sometimes an overbearing ally. Question: Who will side with India when things go downhill with China?
Thank you for your attention.
|Posted On Jan 19, 2023 - 11:33 AM|
I have seen many dating sites are there but when contacting a profile , they chat & send messages & don't come to who have place, there is a possibility of group *** happening or stealing from that person , what all he has got including watches,chain,wallet,mobile phones, Though I have not seen personally recently, I have heard many such stories from ohmojo and news articles in public sites with cases in police station registered. So be careful to meet him in a public space, gain confidence then have fun.
|Posted On Jan 28, 2023 - 01:04 AM|
I feel offline is better than online. The percentage of hookups is more when u r cruising at a gay spot than finding someone online. The In my opinion Bluetooth technique in public places, bus & train is efficient compared to dating apps.
|Posted On Apr 25, 2023 - 08:29 AM|
This thread is required. I appreciate the initiative. Yes cruising is a Taboo, no doubt in that. But we need to get through this.
I have earlier experienced groping rubbing etc during rush hour in train, bus or public gatherings, but cruising at a place I discovered later. In fact, a public place, at a particular time, can become a cruising spot. A train or bus of a particular time and/or route can become a temporary cruising heaven. That doesn't make that place barred to use at other time by other people or even the cruiser. Please do not 'taboo' that 'place'. (1).
People have preferences and choice. Doing things in the open has a kind of thrill. Doing things within a crowd is an art in itself and it has its own kind of thrill. Doing activities in a secluded area may be one's choice while having *** in front of other cruisers' watchful eyes is another's. The diversity is there in the preference of surroundings. Each one has its own kind of risk and thrill. (2).
There might be older persons approaching young ones or vice versa. To approach anyone physically without their consent may be termed as teasing or molestation in straight settings, but in case of gays, most of the times, there isn't other ways to know if you are also interested. The basic essence of cruising lies there. We should try to be smart enough to pick up right signals and convey ours. Do not 'taboo' people. (3).
Cruising is addictive. Sometimes I wonder, is cruising bad? For me, It's a way to search for like minded people, to see how many gay or bi people are in the area. It can truly be done through the way of people's lust which leads them to cruise. We are such a minority and socially outcast, that, people can only truly reveal themselves in such a secret activity that is cruising. Meeting new people, being discreet are basic essence of cruising. Nothing makes it a taboo. (4).
People new to cruising are usually shy. But in general people are afraid to open up nowadays. This is largely because of hyperactive-ness of police. Some greedy people help police to set up traps to extort money from cruisers. In turn they are torturing gay people, destroying cruising spots, forcing people to retract within their shells. Yes, there are reasons that people do not initiate actions in cruising places nowadays. There are fraudsters who would seduce you from long time but want 'you' to initiate the action and then you will be caught as the one who initiated something. Better be smart in choosing your partner. But how will we do that, when they are faking? I honestly have no answer. But let us accept other cruisers' fear or shyness untill we ourselves wait for the social situation to change where police will not treat cruisers as criminals. (5).
Till then let us find newer places and more discreet ways to cruise and stay happy. :)
Please remember, doing sexual activities come with the risk of diseases. So protection and caution need to be taken as much as possible. There are many good threads and comments in this site about safe and good cruising practices. Those can be followed.