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Effeminate behaviour or mannerisms

Submitted by bottomboyvicky Location: All India (All India, India)

Generally this sort of behaviour is observed in the bottom partner's. I used to have this behaviour when I was quite young. But growing up in my teenage years I used to observe straight boys for their postures and copy them. The result is that from my walk and postures you may not be able to tell at first glance. But still my hand postures or movements have not changed much.

Once a corporate trainer asked me the reason for this in a one on one session. He told me I needed to overcome this problem if I need to make it big in the corporate world. I panicked then and beat around the Bush with his question. But over the years I realised that what he said had proven to be true. I have found growth but I feel that if this was corrected, I might have been on a different trajectory.

Do other guys face such issues? How do I / we overcome this? Any thoughts about the same?

Thanks for your feedback and concern!

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Displaying 51 to 54 of 54 comments.
Previous comments: 1  2  

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Posted On Oct 30, 2022 - 02:00 PM

Laburnum. Once we cross 40 less problems in old due female inside us. Now u can go and enjoy without much problem . But if they don't respect don't go . I m in fb . Lot of unknown friends. Cautiously interact with them . I travel. In travel also even in cab sit back fear of getting attracted to drivers . All is well. Submit to god .But health problems loneliness all would come.

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Posted On Nov 9, 2022 - 11:49 AM

im normally not like this. but i have to wear tight vest to coverup my big boobs. 34D is my cup size. when i travel alone or while meeting partners I wear bra. it gives big relief compared to tight vests. the moment i wear bra i become effeminate. many daring men approached me directly. but all these are in my personal space only. in regular life i am different.

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Posted On Nov 14, 2022 - 12:49 PM

@Elder51forboys My guy, you are so oblivious to your internalised queerphobia, especially towards the femme/effeminate dudes. Your entitlement and cowardice is what's disgusting. People like you are like plague to LGBT+ rights and humanity in general. You are so weak and coward that you would rather blame femme guys (the victims of worse form of hostility) for the reason behind societal norms and homophobia than to actually stand against bigots and straight guys.

Secondly, you have ridiculed and dehumanised others (called them duplicates and what not) who do not fit your criteria of ideal suckable *** that it's nauseating. You are free to have sexual preference for masculine guys, but nobody gives you the right to demean others. They do not owe you boners or butthole clench.

There are people who exclusively like CDs, trans-feminine individuals, flamboyant gay dudes and so on. You don't need to worry about their dating life. Figure out your own pathetic pervy self, lurking for young boys like a predator.

And grow a *** pair to actually stand up for what is right instead of victim-blaming and toxic masculinity. People have negative stereotypes and homophobia because of religion, societal conditioning from ages. Not because of the camp gay dudes or transwomen. They are the ones who take the full blow of queerphobia, all the hostility and trauma onto themselves, so that lousy ungrateful men like you can *** *** and lick *** behind closed doors in anonymity. Without having to come out and face any of that.

And the selective homophobia and femmephobia in some of the comments is just appalling. Y'all should be ashamed of yourself.

@Elder51forboys Real men don't desire masculinity, they desire femininity and an urge to pound right ***. So, according to that neither you nor any of your lovers are real men. Smfh, you're 51, grow out of this crap already.

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Posted On Nov 14, 2022 - 01:05 PM

@bottomboyvicky You should never change who you are just because it offends the people around you (when in actuality you are not hurting others or yourself). Male femininity is atypical behaviour and I can assure you as a practising psychologist that not all atypical behaviour is pathological.
Think of it this way, most people are right handed, but often you come across a left-handed person, it's atypical. But a normal human variation.
Similarly, masculinity in females or femininity in males is a normal human variation. With the advancement of feminism across the world, masculinity in females has been normalised and you see that women who happen to be different almost wear, do or behave like.. what once was strictly male appropriate.
But society has always been more critical of male gender expression and roles because of patriarchy, sexual dynamics and a lot of other factors which I can't discuss here. Bottom line is, it is ok to be a tomboy but not ok to be a sissy. Even in today's day and age. And males who are different in their gender expression (behaviour, mannerisms, interests, appearance) are often met with extreme hostile resentment, physical and verbal threats and bullying. Especially growing up.

So, even in a lot of gay and bi men you will see that they equate male femininity or effeminacy with weakness, cowardice and perversion. Because, they grow up internalising those notions. And at large, society also does accept it. So, in order to live your life as a visibly queer man, as someone who's camp, flamboyant or effeminate. As a transfemme individual. One requires enormous bravery, courage and strength of character. Also, for their safety any of the forms of martial arts, because most people perceive this to be weak they are bound to attack on such individuals, 6vs1 or 10vs1. It requires enormous amount of mental stability and psychological calm. As every other day you would be called freak, chakka, gandu, hijra, mitha even by some of the pathetic lowlives within community.

A lot of people realise these real facts and often choose to censor their authentic selves in order to be safe but that takes a toll on their mental health and overall well-being. It is therefore, advised to always surround yourself with supportive people and to limit any sort of negative interactions. And be your true self when there's safety and you are around people who accept you for who you are. Be it friends, family or a partner.

At last I'd just type this, although I hope that you know it yourself. You're not the reason why people hate gays, you're not a defect and you certainly deserve to be loved and accepted the way you are.

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