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Documentary on experiences on cruising spots

Submitted by HeadsTailsAndHo Location: All India (All India, India)

Hello All

For some time, I was planning to compile/document the experiences of people from indian gay community, specially bad experiences, at cruising spots.

Idea is about document the phases of indian gay scenes from the era of finding gays at cruising places to the era of cruising on dating apps.

Idea is about to document the change happened due to removal of 377.

Idea is about making people (mainly the people outside the community) know of the bad experiences, issues, troubles, gay people have faced due to many reasons.

Idea is about making the new comers (specially who like to cruise for sx mainly) aware of type of risks, type of issues can be faced at cruising spots.

It would be a series of interview sessions, series of multiple one to one talk sessions, where individuals will talk about their experiences at different cruising points.

Maintenance of confidentiality of participants will be certainly assured. Rather than showing the faces, silhouettes will be shown. If participants need, the voice will be modulated in a way that the person can not be identified by his voice.

To build the trust of the participants in the initiative, to maintain the authenticity of the purpose, there will be an agreement (as long as participant wants it) between participant and organizer (me), which guarantees the confidentiality of the participant.

Nature / format of these video interviews will be similar to interviews / chat sessions shown on channels like History/NatGeo/Discovery where people share real life experiences on issues like abuses, bullying, ragging etc.

In first session, I am planning to emphasis about bad experience of people at cruising spots, due to local goons, fake cops, real cops, moral police, etc.

Based on the response on these videos, other aspects of cruising spots can also be covered.

Final aim is to document the good and bad experiences faced by gay people at cruising spots.

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Displaying 1 to 43 of 43 comments.

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Posted On Nov 16, 2019 - 12:51 PM

I liked it

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Posted On Nov 16, 2019 - 12:56 PM

Hello members
From all of cities of India

I am planning to visit these interviews / chat sessions on weekends, at a presentable locations.
Planning to have one day for one major city. But some cities are huge and have so many cruising spots to talk about, so it will be difficult to gather the info-bits about all of these places of a single metro city in 1 day.
Similarly, there are some small cities (B tier cities) and towns, where the number of such spots will be less, bit still people would be eager to share the info-bits.
So based on response of readers and based on number of responses, I will schedule the sessions and the counts.

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Posted On Nov 16, 2019 - 01:01 PM

I am sure, no matter if they are out of closet or still in closets, no matter if they are from high class society or not so open or outspoken, no matter if they what profession they belong to, no matter which gender they are from... there would be people with loads of queries about this initiative.

So please feel free to shoot your queries, here in open or to me direct in private msgs.
I will try to answer all genuine queries as much as in my capacity. I will also make sure that people's discreetness is maintained as top priority.

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Posted On Nov 16, 2019 - 01:09 PM

Also, I forgot the mention few things in the main thread text. One of those is, it would be scripted chat session to avoid accidental revealing the identities or the details which can cause harm to participants.
This means, we will regards what to talk about in the chat session, and what to avoid. But this does not mean of any input from our end (that you must speak up about this). This also does not mean that we will ask you to spice up the story.

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Posted On Nov 16, 2019 - 01:38 PM

Great idea

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Posted On Nov 16, 2019 - 05:35 PM

Excellent initiative. I feel rather than just concentrating on the gay cruising aspect it would be great if the documentary can cover the whole gamut of entire gay life in India. I am 100% sure that would be the first of its kind and would take you to places. Several documentaries have covered TG/Hijaras in India. But none exist for G/L/B. First people should understand the difference between Gs and TGs. I think the whole Indian society is completely lost in this aspect and I feel, that is what you need to highlight first. G are males who love their masculinity, their male body but however when it comes to *** would like to have it with other men. TGs are completely different. They don't accept their masculinity and would love to transform into a female. G have *** feelings but most TGs dont since they undergo orchestration (removal of testis and ***). TGs are open while 99% Gs are closeted. While some of Gs are effeminate most of them are masculine. This has to highlighted in the documentary. Then the bullying in schools,the confusion in the orientation which they undergo during teens, crush over straight friends, peer pressure, family pressure to get marry and have children, discrimination in the society after they come out,psychological turmoil which they undergo due to their religious beliefs, suicidal tendencies, public crusing, risks associated with public crusing, multiple partners, risks associated with multiple partners, etc. All these things should be covered in order to give the complete picture. I guess you are at the right place. Most people here, like me would be more than willing to help you out in this.

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Posted On Nov 16, 2019 - 05:59 PM

There you go, with one more creative idea! A lot of your threads have been really innovative, and people have been making constructive posts in those threads. Thank you for keeping- the forum alive. Besides that, I have had a personal experience of you taking time out to speak with me over the phone and help me with the details of a cruising spot when you were in Bangalore, and I had been there as a visitor. Infact, that's the reason that when I read about your idea of documenting the cruising experiences of fellow gays, I thought I must give my opinions about it.

So, without mincing words, I would like to say, that I feel it's a bad idea. Now, please please please don't get disappointed by my negative opinion. My intention is not to let you down, but to make you consider some issues related to the work that you are planning to do. The reasons that I feel it's not a good idea are as follows:

1] First, you said that you will not declare the identity of the interviewee. You will either have the person's silhouette or you will modulate the voice, so that the identity remains hidden. I think, this itself defeats the purpose of making a documentary. In the post 377 scenario, we need people to talk about gay issues openly and without any apprehensions. If you are going to hide the identity, then what's the point of making a video documentary. The threads on this website are doing that job anyway. People are made aware about the cruising spots in various cities, there are threads about people narrating their bad experiences and exploitation, etc. So, what new do you propose to achieve by making a video of all that, and yet hiding the faces?

2] Secondly, whom are you planning to make the documentary for? The gay community? Or the straight people? To let them know about the what all happens at the cruising places? Well, sorry to be slightly conservative and old school in this regard, but you see, the whole fun of cruising places is the secrecy and adventurism associated with it. It''s like, you do it in the public, and yet, don't let the public know about it. So, why do you want to let out the cruising spots? Let them be a secret within the community, and let us enjoy our time of socialising with fellow gays. To quote the line of that famous Hindi song, "...Raaz ko raaz rehne do..." Again, if your intention is not just to highlight the cruising places, but to bring forth the experiences (particularly, the bad experiences) of gays in those places, even then I'd say, having the identities of people hidden will reduce the credibility and believability of whatever the person is saying. It will make the entire documentary film boring. Imagine, episode after episode, all kinds of information and experiences shared by people but their faces hidden!

3] Thirdly, like I said, my intention is not to let you down, but to make you consider all these issues, so I would be glad, if you can really go ahead and make a video that we all can be proud of. For this, I would like to recommend you to check the work done by Sridhar Rangayan, and his Solaris Pictures. In fact, you can even consider messaging him on Facebook or Instagram, and meeting him in person and discussing your project with him. I don't know him personally, but I strongly feel, that he will be open to helping and guiding you in the best possible way. In fact, Sridhar and his team have actually done a series of such videos where a person talks elaborately about his/her journey as a gay/lesbian, and that also includes them talking about the cruising places they would visit in their younger days, and the kind of experiences they faced. The videos are under the name "Project Bol" and they are available on YouTube. Do see them, if you haven't seen them yet.

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Posted On Nov 16, 2019 - 07:44 PM

@Sasmathu & @Ethernal_Bliss
My sincere thanks to both of you for detailed msg on the thread with constructive ideas.
As of now I am very naive on this but strong enough that I can do it.
So just putting BABY STEPS. Once confident, I will certainly will run at the speed matching your expectations, will work at levels you guys are expecting me to.

Trust me, your msgs have increased my enthusiasm 10 times.

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Posted On Nov 17, 2019 - 07:25 AM

Great initiative buddy!👍

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Posted On Nov 17, 2019 - 12:34 PM

Bad idea. You will be literally giving the cops and moral police a hitlist.
We will lose all our cruising spots if they are publicized. It's always better to maintain a very very low profile.
Remember, we are in India not in the West and generally people here think of us as abnormal.
Just my humble opinion.

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Posted On Nov 17, 2019 - 01:02 PM

Hi @BobbyButt
Point noted. Definitely there is no plan to share the details of the cruising point. But idea is about to compile the bad experiences of people at cruising spots, as first series.

Same way, if the interviewee wants to remain discreet, no details of him will be collected. During the interview also, his face would not be visible on the screen, only the silhouette will be seen.

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Posted On Nov 17, 2019 - 02:51 PM

Ya even I feel it's a bad idea as these spots are supposed to be kept under the cover n secret... Hence they are crushing spots ... Once they are out no one will be able to go there

I agree to @bobybutt ... ... Again it's a humble opinion

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Posted On Nov 17, 2019 - 04:35 PM

Hello Readers
We will really appreciate if we get volunteers from different cities, mainly from Metro cities like Mumbai, Pune, Delhi, Bangalore, Chennai, Hyderabad.. The volunteers who are willing to speak up about their bad experiences at "earlier popular - now bad-named cruising spots" of your city or of your previous city.
You may convince others too to gather the courage and narrate the incidences of that dark moment you faced.

Atleast come up, write msgs to me, with your doubts and queries about the pattern of the interview, about assurance on maintaining your privacy intact, about interest of other cruisers.

Without the people without the participants, the initiative won't be success. success.

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Posted On Nov 17, 2019 - 05:09 PM

I never faced bad experiences, but always afraid, to trust unknown persons, and also some known persons will see in cursing places

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Posted On Nov 17, 2019 - 05:57 PM

I agree with Aadibott2 abd bobbybutt. It's a bad idea to reveal these spots to outside the community. It's basically giving up all our secrets which was what made these spots great.

Please rethink as to what this would accomplish and who would this benefit.

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Posted On Nov 17, 2019 - 06:13 PM

Yep.. I agree too.. Exposing these places would be equivalent to exposing our weakness. Most of us out here are still in closet and live a double life for the sake of family and various factors. So better use "name withheld" Option

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Posted On Nov 17, 2019 - 06:56 PM

Bad idea.. some people might make commercial use of information in documentary and impact the secrecy of cruising spots in the process.

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Posted On Nov 18, 2019 - 01:48 AM

Cruising spots have a sociological and psychological significance in the lives of most queer men in India and the world. Exposing a cruising spot would mean that the place will begin vanishing eventually. Cruising spots are the only source of gay *** to people who can't access Internet and apps. While those who can access will have the option of finding a mate online, those without will again be lead to push their desires under the carpet coz some privileged person decided it would be good to tell the world about the place.

If you are doing a research on cruising spots, ,please do NOT expose the place, don't give clues! If you want to talk to people about their experiences in cruising spots without revealing any geographical detail of the place, then yes its a good idea!

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Posted On Nov 18, 2019 - 03:36 AM

Not a good idea at all, please delete this link

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Posted On Nov 18, 2019 - 04:58 AM

Dear Readers
I am not sure why people are not able to read it, but it is clearly mentioned that no details about the person OR cruising spots will be revealed.
It is about sharing the experiences.

And if it is a threat that people outside community will know about the cruising spots, the data is still vulnerable.
To get the data, details of cruising points, even to read what have been written by individuals, one need not to login to the website.
For example, without logging in to the site, just google for "ohmojo barber poles", you will get all text of Ohmojo written so far on BARBER POLES thread. If you add PUNE or MUMBAI, you will get the text specific to that city.
Another example, without logging in to the site, just google for "Ohmojo HeadsTailsAndHo", you will find all of the texts written by me so far on the portal.

Besides that, I have planned to maintain secrecy and discreetness to the maximum level, along with a contract (if interviewee wants to sign) about maintaining the confidentiality.

I am fine with queries and doubts, but please avoid saying negative about the idea without logic.
Most of the folks, who have doubted about the initiative, have doubted based on revealing the location of cruising spots, without even reading complete thread, while I have clearly mentioned that we are recording experiences, and the details which reveals info about the place, about the person, and other related persons, would be hidden.

I myself don't want to fall into troubles.

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Posted On Nov 18, 2019 - 05:56 AM

first get your self interviewed with the crusing spot and post , let us all see of us the reaction and comments

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Posted On Nov 18, 2019 - 06:52 AM

Going by what you have repeatedly mentioned, you will get the same story. One person or a group of people luring a *** seeking gay man. Threatening him and taking money from him. That's it. A few details here and there might or might not be present for a bit of embellishment. Otherwise I don't think you have a documentary in place unless you plan to add other elements like the police, NGOs , pro LGBT set ups etc. There cannot be more to that story.

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Posted On Nov 18, 2019 - 07:27 AM

Ideally the documentary should have even those blackmailers , policemen speaking too.
Even their identities can be hidden.

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Posted On Nov 18, 2019 - 07:31 AM

Straight people are aware of what goes at loos and in local trains.
Cruising spots such as Maheshwari udyan and gateway have been featured in novels and movies.

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Posted On Nov 18, 2019 - 12:27 PM

This is nothing but inviting problem.
आ बैल मुझे मार/ Aa bail mujhe maar

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Posted On Nov 18, 2019 - 01:48 PM

Guys first it is very easy to be negative but difficult to be positive. Out of all odds HeadsTailsAndHo has come out with a concept. If you dont like it give him inputs about how to improvise it rather than discouraging him to take the documentary. As I mentioned in my comment he is trying to take baby steps. We need to encourage him by giving right inputs not discourage him with negative criticism.

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Posted On Nov 18, 2019 - 04:00 PM

Yes but what if the whole idea is wrong and not just the implementation part...
I think everyone here is trying to come up with the best of positive criticism...
Hopefully he understands their intentions and not just the words.

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Posted On Nov 19, 2019 - 01:38 AM

I think this is going to be a big mess if this documentary reaches wrong hands like the media and police. All the cruising places will then be in news as well the police will also take extra patrolling at these places. Also even ohmojo may be exposed due to all these and we will spoil everything that we have now.

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Posted On Nov 19, 2019 - 02:48 AM

@Sasmathu, why don't you take the same baby steps and help him, so that you and home start, let us all see and comment, it's easy to encourage, first you show the way, rather asking others.

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Posted On Nov 19, 2019 - 02:53 AM

First of all...If you think it's a bad idea....Do not participate, but don't discourage who wants to take initiative n do something.
Secondly, there are podcasts n all about gay sexual experiences then why it can't be about cruising.
Thirdly, why just bad experiences? You can publish any experience that people wish to share.

If people are not comfortable with silhouettes and voice modules...You hire some model or something who can be the face of this documentary and he will narrate all the scenarios this could be cheaper than the silhouette and module

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Posted On Nov 19, 2019 - 03:30 AM

Hello Readers

To be honest, one day I get encouraged and happy yo see that atleast some people are there to support me on my initiative. On other day, I get sad seeing unthoughtfully said negative comments (and also seeing the wrath being faced by people who are supporting me with positive comments).

I am fine with both of the things.
But what I am more concerned about that none has come back to me on PM, that yes he is willing to share my experience (even if not on video, sharing experience in messaging here will also do), or even with query like what would happen if... What will I get out of it... What is the way by which I can be assured that my identity would not be leaked... Not me but one of my friend had some experience, can I connect you with him..

When we don't even ask questions, we are like least bothered about anything out of the mainstream.
Atleast talk to me on this on one-o-one.
Let us feel that it is a forum of interactive and inquisite people.

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Posted On Nov 19, 2019 - 04:01 AM

@headstailand. since u r also into this forum and you should’ve already knowing what is happening around LGBT people. nothing new and same blackmailing threatening seen in similar pattern, you can take that as cumulative collection and apply your imagination as well if u taking documegtary. that’s wat the meaning of documentary. and i worked with upcoming directors as backup assistance director. so chill out

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Posted On Nov 19, 2019 - 09:51 AM

I welcome your venture. The gay community at times falls prey to their own fellow gays. Cruising spots are not safe anymore. Once a friend told me that the gay scenario in Banglore is drying up. Some rogues would act as gay and encourage other gays to approach them and then later victimize them. There must be something the "upcoming gays" should be aware about. Robbing money is one thing but sensitive gays can commit suicide as well for the fear of being exposed. Gays have no code of conduct but they should develop one. Instead of random hookups, there should be proper dating and knowing each other. I had been a victim too lately. Actually, transgenders, for whom *** is a profession too, are bearing grudge against gays and target them.. some rowdy guys are also supporting them. These things need to be shared and known to every gay. I also read about a criminal in chennai who used to hurt people while giving them oral ***. There are guys who are fearlessly committing crime because they think they would not got caught. All this needs to be discussed and shared even if costs us sacrificing so called cruising spots.

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Posted On Nov 19, 2019 - 11:08 AM

I am one of the commenters who expressed concerns regarding the secrecy of the cruising spot. I did it even after reading the assurances @headstailsandho had posted ONLY to stress at the need to be cautious about it and NOT to encourage a person. For that matter, it is a wonderful thing that the person is attempting to document cruising experiences and it is the need of the hour to finally talk about these things. After all cruising spots and what happens there is a direct reflection of what happens when natural desires are forcefully suppressed. I work in close association with the research fraternity and I understand how the academia has for ages been avoiding undertaking any research on homosexual people. To that extent I really appreciate your initiative @headstailsandho and I encourage you to go ahead with it. And I am sure you will do it well considering you are a queer yourself and also know things at a closer level.

It is stupid to say the study will be unnecessary as it results in similar observations. NO that is not how it works. Every instance of cruising abuse is different and every individual perceives it differently. If nothing, such a study would will tell us where people went wrong in each situation, apart from revealing certain really important observations about both the abusers and the abused.

@Abhiggyan, not all transgender persons (not transgenders) have a grudge against gay people so do not generalise. In fact they have always been the proud face of the entire LGBT spectrum and its high time we begin to respect them. And also, *** is not a profession of all the transgenders and transgenders who so *** for money need not be termed as criminal. It is 2019 and its time we learn to be sensitive about our community cousins. Also, “sacrificing” cruising spots? As if there are many left? No it is not an option and the researcher here is sensitive enough not to do that. You might find an outlet for *** elsewhere, but many people cannot considering a lot of things. People get enough warnings about cruising violence in forums like these.

So @headtailandho, all d best for your research initiative. I am quite experienced with cruising, and cruising abuses too and would be happy to be a part of this study. Good luck mate.

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Posted On Nov 19, 2019 - 01:00 PM

Hi. I have been negative and discouraging about your venture. I did not have any wrong intentions. I just expressed myself.

I am always eager to help the community and initiatives related to its betterment. I am from Mumbai and would like to help you with your initiative. I am ready to participate and contribute.

All the best

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Posted On Nov 19, 2019 - 05:04 PM

I have a lot of good and bad experiences to share. I would gladly do it in any form u want. Always to help

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Ebubu *
Posted On Dec 7, 2019 - 12:56 PM

Bobbybutt "You will be literally giving the cops and moral police a hitlist."
Well, really did you think that the Indian Police have been waiting for HeadTailandHo to give them such a list ? I think they have been aware of what goes on where for a long time. When they want to raid a place, they very well know where to go.

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Posted On Dec 8, 2019 - 12:18 AM

Hello all ,local police officers n Conistables are in vigil to get any such prey for there earnings... Any listing no matter how carefully its drafted n laid with security... Cops are well aware to crack it up n hunt down. By recent *** cases in country it's getting much more pressure on police that they r patarol more keen n cyber police also r active. It could be a sudden crack down anytime to catch up... It's not discouraging or demotivate anyone here but in view to be alert n not getvtrap by confessions in such forums... We ourselves giving arms to cops n moral policeing fellows an weapon to trap poor single immigrant boys n men who lives in cities to get caught... So early don't expect India to react like US or UK towards LGBT...

Especially Gay's ....its just a humble request... May be good to create documentary on bad experience to alert others but as a list on what's going on good would be a trap ourselves given to cops n burglars ...think over

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Posted On Dec 8, 2019 - 05:33 AM

In that case, shouldn't we stop crusing at loos etc.?

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Posted On Dec 12, 2019 - 02:57 PM

I guess what he means is whatever comparatively safe places are left, would become exposed to the public, especially the malicious people.

I personally don't think that would happen though since it's not a mainstream documentary i assume. The ones who are most likely to know about the doc will be the lgbt

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Posted On Jan 9, 2020 - 07:57 AM

A good initiative wherein a documentary version would be better. I am from Hyderabad and over the years majority of the cruising places have been replaced by either real estate growth or other forms of developments. But to me it has been a turn down over the years.
- Regards.

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Posted On Feb 27, 2020 - 01:23 PM

Having grown up in Australia, where during the 1980s gay men were ambushed at cruising spots and even thrown to their deaths from cliffs, I am interested in the progress and outcomes of this project. I am of the opinion that it is necessary to educate all of society to the dangers of repression and inequality.

Hate crimes should be documented; tolerance should be promoted. (Not just for us, for all.)

Petty and unsubstantiated fears of exposure are just as damaging to the gay community as irrational homophobia.

Good journalism is not deterred by popular opinion. Good journalism is the presentation of facts in a safe and meaningful way.

Please keep posting, OP!

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Posted On May 7, 2020 - 05:21 AM

There are have been some incidents here in Hyderabad at a cruising place where i stood almost on the verge as a victim but nothing unpleasant took place. I later got to know that they were money mongerers on the prowl for some easy money. Instead i asked other fellow people to be more careful.Some take the advise postiv No matter how enclosed or how secluded a place might look, risk element always lingers.