Emotional bonding?
Hi all - here everyone talks about gay ***, *** positions and hairy chests and young studs and musty smell of aftershave and pubic bush BUT as gays are we all just physical beings - *** all the time - do we need *** morning noon and night? What about emotional bonding? I would love to have someone special with whom I can share my thoughts and feelings freely without being judged - a bond where there is a connect - heart-to-heart. *** is definitely a need but you cannot possibly jump into bed with anyone and everyone - it is best enjoyed with someone with whom you connect, with whom you are comfortable - right? Comments Reply/Post a comment
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manish2322 | Posted On Dec 28, 2020
Yes ur absolutely right.... probably ppl do *** and then forget the partner........and most of the time happen with btms only |
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Triz | Posted On Dec 28, 2020
Definitely. If helps a lot when you have an emotional connect with the person you're sleeping with. But again it is more of a preference here. Some people do prefer the openness of having *** with strangers while others exclusively stick to a single person who may or may not be their partner. My thoughts though |
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skirt_whore2 | Posted On Dec 28, 2020
Kissing and cuddling and just regular sleeping (not ***) feels soo good |
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Aseem Javed | Posted On Dec 29, 2020
Well said, and its the need of the day. Especially now when emotional bonding is more important than the physical connection of just having ***. U might have *** with anyone, but wont be able to enjoy it knowing that perhaps you wont get the same person again. I personally prefer a good friendship and bonding more than just jumping into bed with a stranger. |
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Horizon_87 | Posted On Dec 31, 2020
A good article/post. There have been times when I expressed how I felt for the opposite guy, just not for ***/fun. I felt connected to the person and I still do though he does not hold the same. The moment you express yourself, messages and call volumes dwindle as days go by. I even made it clear to him that what ever I feel for him is not for a relationship nor ***. Rather it is a feeling that makes me feel better whenever I was with the person. I am a bottom and things are much difficult at times. The moment you say EMOTIONAL BONDING guys just fly away. Many fear while other just ignore you. They think that they will be forced or/ will have to get into something called relationship, but it is not the case. I myself tried so many times to clear this notion but I did not succeed. Dating has changed to a great extent. I can still be more happier if someone were to just talk to me or message without even expecting anything beyond(not saying that *** is not important- it is but not at all times). I am 35 now and ask myself have I made some mistake by expressing what ever I felt towards somebody? Kuch jyada hee lecture de diya mainey. Bas is post/article ko padaha aaj subah toh socha mai bhi reply karoon.
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Love2 | Posted On Dec 31, 2020
I have been emotionally involved with many of my close friends in past. They could never understand my feelings as they may not be gay. I have told one of my friends that I am emotionally attached to u. He is still my friend. No *** between us as he is straight. Recently I got emotionally attached to another friend but he felt that I am bothering him too much. He stopped talking to me |
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Shubham17 | Posted On Jan 2, 2021
See whn u talk like this people will say, oh yes u are all right we need to have this, but when it comes to practice they will always prefer "no strings attached", and I'm sure u are one of those too many times. Problem is all gay apps are designed from hook up point of view. They don't encourage bonding, freely allow use of nudes and *** language, and even encourage one night stands, because developers think, " These are men, and we know what they want, and we know what should we do to keep them addicted to our app". Compare this to straight dating app. They are very protective, and women themselves are very secretive. Even for official straight hook up websites, men will have to pay to get access to messenger. Thus straight hook up sites are not as much of flourishing business than those of gays. This makes straight people to use apps like tinder in which u would find more girls interested in long term rather than hook up. If gay apps were as secretive as this to make finding gay partner as difficult as finding women, then things would be quite different, but to some extent only. Mentality of males is to have more *** than relationship, and it's very easy to have a |
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Shubham17 | Posted On Jan 2, 2021
Man on ur bed. Not to mention there's huge social stigma over this issue. It'd need much time till gay marriages are accepted as normal as straight one's. This makes gay people private about their life, and to forget each other due to fear of exposing truth and hook up is only option to satisfy whatever needs |
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Jayesh Mature | Posted On Jan 2, 2021
ya sure i also think emotional bonding shd be there - in friendship we must take care for others feelings - only *** should not be criteria - we can be good frds without any *** relation also
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Nostaguy | Posted On Jan 3, 2021
For me, real emotional bonding has been mostly with males. That feeling of closeness, wanting to care for somebody, wanting to pamper somebody has been with my male partners. Though I have good n caring(both ways) female friends, that bonding is missing. I also want to confess that my relationships have been getting shorter n shorter with time. My first long relationship lasted 4 years, then 2, then 1. Now they do not go beyond 6 months. However, there are a couple of straight friends I emotionally bond with n am attracted to. But don't want to open up to them and lose their friendship. So, my physical needs come from one set and emotional needs(sadly, mostly from my side) from these two. There are other straight friends who I care for purely as friends and they reciprocate. No physical feeling from my side.
I also have found couple of random guys who have sort of chastised me for my philandering ways. They say they are so serious about me and I go around with some many other guys. One guy even asked me - aise kitne logo ke saath karte ho?? This hits me and then I think n go slow. |
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kingofdesire56 | Posted On Jan 8, 2021
Unfortunately you won't find that very often. It's a rare thing these days. Especially on dating sites or app. Where people are just *** for ***. The topic is really good. It's rare to find someone to whom you can actually pour your heart out, and you know have a sensible conversation and talk to, and then do things. I truly think that *** becomes much more pleasant and feels really good when you really know the person whom you are in bed with. The connection with someone, the mental connection, the spiritual connection after talking about stuff, getting to know each other, is really priceless. Unfortunately not everyone thinks about those things. And the worst part is, it affects one mentally. I mean if you're not able to talk to someone very openly, you'll be holding back lots of things on your mind and eventually that will be problematic. And it's not like you can talk about these things with your family or anyone related. I mean you can but our Indian society doesn't allow it I guess. That's the problem. |
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BotLove32 | Posted On Mar 14, 2021
Nice article i have my friend somu we was regularly meet at shivaji park chowpatty at night after 11.30 pm we have nice bonding with each other some times we spend seating at beach and loves each other somu treat me like husband after some days he ask how i feel when we meet, i smiled and kissed my somu baby we are in relation since from September 2020 eve i feel like im meeting my wife everyday i love u somu thanks to being with me my love.... |
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John_snow | Posted On Jun 5, 2021
i am emotionally had attached with mature guy, we had spend wonderful time apart ***. we have shared everything personal thoughts, fantasies, and many funny stupid thoughts, it became habit for both to talk daily atleast more than half an hour. but after a year situation become tough as he is married man and had responsibilities, we painfully need to close our chapter. it takes much time to overcome the pain. it was really painful for both of us to break the knots. overall moral of the my real experience being emotional attach is good but dont go too much depth. its really painful when to u separate. |
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Catchme | Posted On Aug 29, 2021
Really a nice article bonding is a must I'm a gay had a relationship with a foreigner who was 53 yrs old when I was working in Goa he was really nice since covid 19 he went to canada really feeling lonely without him |
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*** | Posted On Oct 16, 2021
@RahulMehra... my dear friend, it is basic biology. While I do not disagree with the need of intimacy and desire to feel love and care, at the end gays are MEN. Yes, I'm generalizing here. There is joke that Lesbians on their 3rd date bring a moving truck because they are moving in together, while gays on their 3rd date bring a new partner for 3sum.
It is said that Men give love to have ***, while women give *** to be loved. Compared to hetero world, gays don't have to give love to get ***... it is available at every corner, and with apps it can be available within few meters. Before the advent of Apps, people had to chat, meet someone at cruising spots, given the limited options, developed friendships and *** buddies, now with apps, I don't need to keep in touch with anyone.
Men, especially in Patriarchal society like ours are groomed to not show emotions or get sentimental right from young age (classic example- why are you crying like a girl?), also for us (Indians) we compartmentalize our relations, high school friends, college friends, society friends, neighbourhood friends, cousin's friend's friend, office friends...the list goes on, so when it comes to sexual intimacy... we have our gay friends and then there are random hook up and *** buds.. do we really need so many emotional bonding and baggages?
Men are very visual, we look, we like, we do ... emotional bonding requires listening, understanding and communicating... how many men, straight or gay can actually vocalise their feeling? How many of you have actually had aftersex?? rather how many of you actually know what aftersex is? The moment we ***, the game is over and we try to find reason to dash.
Sexuality is very diverse, people, especially men can separate emotions and ***. Humans don't need reason or season for ***. And the spectrum of sexuality ranges from Asexuals- they wants the emotional intimacy but no sexual acts to Sapiosexual, who get turns on and attracted to only intelligent conversations or by IQ and then there is everything in between. It is now upto you to find out where do you lie on this scale?
Personally at age of 41 and active 26 years of *** life (yes I started *** around when I was 14), when I look back to more than few 100s sexual encounters, I can sure almost 90% of them involved some amount of emotional engagement/ intimacy during the act, yes agreed, not all go beyond after the act. But in that moment, when were kissing, making out, ***, dry humping, grinding, ***.. there was intimacy involved. In that moment we were together, trusted one another, forgot the surrounding, had some amazing, some not so amazing, some plain boring orgasms. Only 10% of the encounters were pure carnal, where no one cared about anything but it was just a quick bang session to get the rocks offs.
If you want the emotional bonding, then you need to be good at ***, so the next step will be to get repeats and when the repeat encounters turn into *** buddies, then you will soon graduate to the emotional intimacy that you are looking for.
But on the first date you go seeking emotional intimacy, then you are not different then the psycho girl who goes on the first date with a guy and starts selecting the name of their first born and colour of the nursery.
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maturedguyhyd | Posted On Mar 12, 2022
Guys emotional bonding in gay *** is very very rare.... I don't say it doesn't happen but rare .,... I was very emotionally attached to a few guys in the past.... That's waste of time..... Been into this since 1985.....now my attitude has changed.... Be friends share feelings live happily.... Bonding is between 2 guys ... Once you enjoy and cumm..... U lose interest.... This is human tendency.... Even now a few guys are in touch with me ... They might be in touch with others also ..... So just take life as it comes |
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Ninad_shyguy | Posted On Apr 25, 2023
I have been very very unlucky in this sphere. Never got a male who could be my best friend. Iam still longing for a boy best friend. I get so jealous when i watch boy best friends videos. Iam like how they become best friends and i dont get any inspite of me being helpful and loyal. I cry alone. I crave for a good genuine guy..is it too much to ask?? |
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