How are you being treated by your family & society

Dealing with our family & society, is never an easy thing for the Lgbt people; especially for gays, lesbians & TGs. In many cases our close relationships are put to extreme tests due to our orientation.

How are you being treated by your family members, your colleagues, neighbours & society in general?

How do you handle the issues arising with them ?

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Displaying 1 to 14 of 14 comments.
No Picture Guru005	Posted On Apr 23, 2018 I'm not out to my family. But I am out to some or few of my friends. They played it so well. They accepted me for what I am, as there are thousands of good things about me, and I usually mentor a lot of them. I think that way they accepted me the way I am. No one expressed any hatred or never did I get any negative response, unless I kept it in a funny way, I was never laughed at. I love these few souls who have accepted me for what I am. When I am married, I will probably tell my wife about my past, now everyone has one. When I raise my son, I will never make him feel bad and I will let him be gay, evolve as bi and lead straight life and it will be his choice to stay stuck at what level he chooses to be.
No Picture Exotic1234	Posted On Apr 23, 2018 Family is the basic fabric of our lives and it's always give and take. Lots of adjustments and sacrifices. Mostly put their needs ahead of yours. Family I think is everything and I am blessed. Society - There are clearly laid down norms if you are working in a stable job making good money, married at the right time, have children then you are successful. However I personally think it kills our individuality. Unfortunately along with the family most of us also end up living for the society.
Kani2707	Posted On Apr 23, 2018 I came out to a distance colleague (he is from another IT firm to which my organizantion was giving handover) and he took it very well. He become close and invited for his marriage. But as usual I stopped talking to him. With that experience I wanted to come out to my parents. I really wanted my parent to know about me. I don’t care rest of the world. On 12 Jan 2014 I came out. Vicky a LBGT blogger - his article and Q&A helped me to come out. But as a traditional parents they didn’t accepted it... till now.. eventually my elder sister got to know about me. She knows every intention about me. So really thought she would back me up with my parents but she said it’s just a phase. Well after all they are my parents. They really wanted to do good things for their child in their absence. To put it very plain: they want someone (obviously a girl) to take care of me when they r gone. They can hand over to someone who can take care of each other during sickness and happiness. They r doing their part and I’m making them to understand & standing to my point till now on my own.
No Picture Mahesh80	Posted On Apr 23, 2018 @Guru --- Nice to know that you are mentoring many of your friends. Unless we elevate somebody to our level, we cannot move to the next level in life, that is one of the core universal laws; you are gaining lots of good merits through your acts man :) @Exotic – Yes, usually society kills our individuality, but only if we allow ourselves to be sacrificed at its altar..a handful of them put on a brave fight resisting that. In this regard, I am reminded of an interesting quote “Man is the most tamed of all the animals”. Lol. Few men continue to remain wild, paying a heavy price for that. Some very shrewdly maintain their individuality all the while, playing along with the rules of the society. @Kani --- It’s quite difficult to make conservative parents understand and accept this issue. Making your parents interact with other parents who have fully accepted their gay children or taking them for a counselling could be of some help, I guess. Your other post on the topic “future for gay guys” was quite elaborate, rooted in ground reality, a bit pessimistic as well…but overall it was a well written post.
No Picture 279743	Posted On Apr 23, 2018 I'm not out to my family and I don't intend to come out anytime soon. I might not come out as well. I'm pretty sure my parents being ultra conservative would never accept in spite of being educated. Family is everything to me and I'm eternally indebted to them for all things they have done for me. I know a lot of people who haven't come out to folks. I don't ever wanna cause that rift. Once a glass vase is broken how much you try to fix it it still doesn't get back to the original state. One of my best friends is undergoing the same and I know how much it has crushed him. Not every family is like that. Eventually with lot of support and understanding I have seen families accepting it or they just tend to ignore and not talk about it for good. As @exotic said at least Asian men live for the society rather than for themselves and Individuality is killed. How many of us ended up being doctors and engineers just to please someone else. Coming out is a really intricate and delicate process. If you have watched Love, Simon you would know that "I’m supposed to be the one that decides when and how and who knows, and how I get to say it, that’s supposed to be my thing!" I'm out to a very few close friends who have been extremely supportive. I have lost good friends in that process too. Coming out to girls was much more easier and also to a few guys. Guys in general especially straight Indian guys are homophobic mostly due to ignorance and want to guard their freaking fragile masculinity freak out and start making fun. I usually through out something related to homosexuality in a subtle manner during a conversation and gauge them from how they respond. I had once left my facebook open and it had a few chats and some of my friends read through my chats and cornered me saying he has proof. I was like well first of all you didn't have the basic courtesy to not invade my privacy and I need not explain anything to you. This was a freaking 23 year old student pursuing Masters and not some teenage kid. He would still wait to snatch my phone when it is unlocked. He did once and luckily gave back to me after my bashing. One reason I never share my apartment with Indian guys! Extremely nosy and literally no concept of personal space! For those planning on coming out please do your homework and seek help to avoid emotional blackmail. For those who are bi and married please be extra careful so that you never mix up your lives and make sure your electronic devices are clean. It would be very difficult for your partner in life to accept and digest the fact. They would feel extremely worthless and cheated. Have seen families break up and go through nasty divorces. I wish no one goes through it
No Picture funguy2016	Posted On Apr 24, 2018 one ques always pops in my mind is is GAY natural? many deny it completely and say its a disease or state of mind.. am confused.. on one hand i feel its really naturally for them, in the sense their brain is programmed like tat... but on the othr han.. i ask...when two gays can and never produce child... then surely sum thing really odd about this right?
No Picture 279743	Posted On Apr 24, 2018 @funguy : Its not a disease or a state of mind or a phase. Its natural. Ur wired that way in your brain and its coded in your DNA. Homosexuality is observed and documented in over 450 species of animals. just because two guys can't have children does not mean its not natural.
No Picture Exotic1234	Posted On Apr 24, 2018 Neel - well written. I specifically liked this paragraph of yours it’s so damn true. Coming out is a really intricate and delicate process. If you have watched Love, Simon you would know that "I’m supposed to be the one that decides when and how and who knows, and how I get to say it, that’s supposed to be my thing!" I'm out to a very few close friends who have been extremely supportive. I have lost good friends in that process too. Coming out to girls was much more easier and also to a few guys. Guys in general especially straight Indian guys are homophobic mostly due to ignorance and want to guard their freaking fragile masculinity freak out and start making fun I totally agree with you COMING OUT is a personal choice and it’s up to us to decide. As for married men, Yes I agree it can be tough and you need to balance it well.
No Picture Valentine84	Posted On Apr 24, 2018 @funguy - Homosexuality was once considered as a mental disorder and the suggested treatment was a electric shock which only resulted in rendering the person as a vegetable with no feelings. So it's that either the person could exist as a gay person or a vegetable with no feelings at all. After this been challenged and debated, "Homosexuality" was considered as natural and no longer a mental illness. Societal acceptance, homophobic people, gay bashing/ discrimination and above all lack of a trust worthy partner forces many homosexuals to remain in the closet rather than coming out. Some accept the duality (bi sexual inclination) and try to strike a balance. Only a very few dare to come out but at the cost of loosing the support of family and friends. @Neel - Yeah most of straight friends are pseudo homophobic. They happily discuss a lesbian theme movie but when I said "Brokeback Mountain" was a nice movie their reaction was different. I would suggest rather to debate with them better to avoid them.
No Picture funguy2016	Posted On Apr 24, 2018 i have no problems with it firends. i knw am Bi, and i love both woman and men when comes to ***.... i was jst thinking... again.. if two peoplecant produce child.. than what is the use of it? i mean...... if all were gays, u and me wont be even her dicussing abt thisright? we need a hetro parents for our own existence... i some how feel ths people turn gay at early part of life due to sexual abuse.. some take it a abuse, some pleasure ( me th e later).. i believe most of gay here have had some sort of gay exp in their early part which kind of triggerd their minds in ths dirction? again am not at all saying its bad and all. just trying to undertand
No Picture 285405	Posted On Apr 24, 2018 @funguy2016: I completely agree with you. In our society (especially in India), its better to be bisexual than gay. Also, long term relationships (except one or two) never ever work with men as they are never satisfied with one partner. The warmth that a woman gives cannot be balanced anytime by a man!!!
No Picture funguy2016	Posted On Apr 24, 2018 @vicky... hmm. nicelysaid.. but when in world a hetro man is satified with one woman ?!! :) never either.....
No Picture Mahesh80	Posted On Apr 24, 2018 @neelsachet -- thanks for your elaborate & very insightful post.. @funguy2016 - as mentioned by valentine & neelsachet, gayness is neither odd nor unnatural..it's just not accepted easily by the society, which adds to our confusions..
No Picture Shu	Posted On Sep 27, 2022 Though I am not out and not planning of doing it ever,I simply don't feel it's important rn,but I think my family guessed it already,both my father side and mother side family too always tells me not in bad way that I destined to be a girl instead of boy.