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Submitted by wingedcupid Location: All India (All India, India)

Hey ppl

Do you use feminine pronouns amongst your closed circle. I have a close circle of gay friends where we always use she/her and it only feels weird to talk he/him when we needed to.

I have high respect for non binary or fluid people. No offence meant to any gender. Its just bring closeness calling them akka. But is that just me

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Displaying 1 to 41 of 41 comments.

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Posted On Nov 17, 2020 - 06:42 AM


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Posted On Nov 17, 2020 - 08:41 AM

may be hurt someone

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Posted On Nov 17, 2020 - 03:25 PM

Nope. Being gay does not mean I would address other person as she (feminine)
I would f**k the *** out of any cohort addressing me as a "she". I take it as an offense, and yeah, if I ever come across words like any gender changing words, I will maroon that person. Doesn't matter if I am bottom, I am proud to be a guy ^_^.
Thankfuly my close cabal of friends also act masculine.

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Posted On Nov 17, 2020 - 03:49 PM

It's used in a lighter mood during conversations with the gay brethren. Many use it and are comfortable with it as long as it is in a joking way.. Many don't like it. It's a personal choice and one can always request not to be addressed in the feminine gender.

It should not be taken as offensively. Being feminine or representations in feminine gender or addressing anyone by that gender does not make anyone inferior, weak or low. It is this hidden conjecture that makes men take offense. It's very difficult to change these misogynistic attitudes.

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Posted On Nov 17, 2020 - 03:51 PM

I prefer being called a he/him. if someone calls me a she, I would ask them not to as I don't identify with the feminine gender. I wouldn't be 'offended' and ai wouldn't really make a great deal of it as long as they don't do with a bad intention

have a few friends (physically male) who prefer to be called a she/ her. I have female friends who want to be called a 'they/them', so I address them so. It's always ideal to ask the pronoun queer folk are comfortable with before assuming and addressing then in a certain way.

In academia, you see a lot of professors from foreign and some Indian universities mentioning their preferred pronouns in their mail signatures.

Its simple, ASK don't ASSUME, speak for yourself and respect others choice of pronoun.

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Posted On Nov 17, 2020 - 04:38 PM

Well - all said and done the gay person - bottom or trans - is male - unless that person has undergone a *** change procedure - so it has to be he / him only - if he prefers to be addressed as she / her - he will say so - if not sure ASK

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Posted On Nov 17, 2020 - 06:14 PM

For me only three genders exist(naturally two) - male, female and transgender. A person with a *** is a male, a person with a *** is a female and someone with neither a *** nor a *** is a transgender. Now, i will address a transgender the way they will like me to address them(he/she). Apart from that i would never want someone to refer me as 'she'. And the simple reason is that i'm a proud man and am very comfortable in the way nature has made me(not that i'm against anyone going against the nature, if it's not causing any harm to others). Also, i don't like it when someone refers a girl with male pronouns. For example i have seen that in lots of families(including mine) parents, several times, call their daughter 'beta'( a hindi word used for a male child). Tbh i never support it at all, even though i know they do that in love and pride. Why calling your girl 'beta' when she isn't? Why don't just feel proud in calling your girl beti( a hindi word used for a female child). We never witness someone calling their son as beti but calling your girl child 'beta' is a pretty common thing in Indian families. Also, several times you listen people saying that she is not beti but beta of our family. It actually shows the conservative mindset of our society and how patriarchy still exists. Also, i will never use 'she' for a guy even though he would want me to use that. Because the english language has gender specific personal pronouns in the third-person singular. And according to that a person with a *** is 'he'. So, why should i call a guy 'she'?

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Posted On Nov 17, 2020 - 06:44 PM

Well lot seem serious..
I am male, i am proud to be addressed by she/her within my close circle!
I would probably laugh if someone calls me she, i wouldn't retort with physical or verbal attack.

As an aside, the kids are too clever ones and cruel at times. I once visited friend's sisters' family. We were all talking for a long time and suddenly the lady's 8 year old son who kept observing me asked, "mummy is this a girl". There was an awkward pause but the lady told since uncle doesn't have a mush the little boy thought I were a girl and i laughed it off.
PS: i am not as flaming as my pics in my real life!

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Posted On Nov 18, 2020 - 02:06 AM

@shapeoflove , in some cases their is a conflict between body and mind regarding gender. Thats the whole issue.
One should respect the person's choice, for whom the pronoun is being used.
Otherwise you are as insensitive to that person as we find the general society towards gay men.
Do read - https://uwm.edu/lgbtrc/support/gender-pronouns/

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Posted On Nov 18, 2020 - 05:10 AM

I would to be called as she and her
I always had a feeling of female and feminism inside me
I feels like i am. Just a female in male body

Every one has different views

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Posted On Nov 18, 2020 - 05:50 AM

*** and gender, they are different... *** is constant, that's assigned at the time of birth. However, Gender is not a constant... To me, that is a state of mind.. how one feels about themselves... In the same context, people choose different gender (pronoun) at different occasions.. (eg. queer culture)
With that context, there is nothing wrong in calling a person He or She if the person is feels like that.

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Posted On Nov 18, 2020 - 07:52 AM

@fifty How is it insensitive when i'm just stating the fact? 'He' is used for a guy and it's a basic fact. Then, how i'm hurting a guy by refering him with a male pronoun. I have a huge respect for human emotions and their way of living. But then, what about my emotions? Why should someone compel me to do something in which i'm not comfortable in doing? Should we start refering a dog as cat if it starts to behave like a cat? No, we shouldn't, untill and unless that dog loses its own identity and transforms itself into a cat in some ways. At the same time, i would never force that dog to change its behaviour. It's as simple as that.

@wingedcupid I agree with your statement that one should never retort with physical or verbal attack for someone addressing him by she. And if someone does that then, it only shows the level of immaturity of that person. For me, physical and verbal attack is never an option unless i'm compelled to use it for my defence.

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Posted On Nov 18, 2020 - 08:21 AM

@Knightrider i believe that's the Right way however many including within the community find it hard to understand.

I perceive Sakthi (feminine form) as a kinetic energy and associating myself with such form always gives me joy.

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Posted On Nov 18, 2020 - 10:14 AM

No issues if strangers call me she. I remember one lady greeted me as 'madam' even though I was in normal attire.

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Posted On Nov 18, 2020 - 10:37 AM

Shapeoflove, What you are calling a fact is only an opinion.
If you insist, it is a fact, it is outdated. Facts change in science as we gain more knowledge and insight.

There is a whole spectrum of gender identity , just like sexuality.
The LGBTQ movement demands that people be recognised by the gender they wish to identify with and not by one assigned to the body.

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Posted On Nov 18, 2020 - 10:58 AM

@fifty If you really think that calling a guy 'he' is an opinion then, i would better like to stick with my opinion . Why should i carry someone else's opinion in which i'm less comfortable in? I don't like to refer guys as 'she' and it's my opinion. Don't you think others should respect that? Why any compulsion then? If someone wants to refer himself as she, he better should. I have no problem in that at all. But why shoving your opinion down my throat? I want to stick with the opinion of the majority and i should have all the freedom to do that. Then calling me an insensitive person isn't right. Because i can say the same about the other person too, who is compelling me to do something which is against my feelings and emotions.

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Posted On Nov 18, 2020 - 01:32 PM

shapeoflove, what matters is what the person being addressed will like to be called. Your feelings come in picture when you are being addressed. Wow! You bring out the majority point? Remember how the society treats a minisculed minority community of gays and lesbians.
IF you are indeed gay or belong to LGBT, you would rethink that argument.
I wont be dragging this conversation further.

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Posted On Nov 18, 2020 - 01:40 PM

'B', who is a man, wishes to be called a 'she',
but 'A' does not want to address 'B' as a she,
Then 'A' should simply not speak to B and let B, be :D

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Posted On Nov 18, 2020 - 01:47 PM

Also, technically speaking, the law of the land does not really make it mandatory for people to undergo a *** reassignment surgery to be considered of a certain gender . GENDER IS FLUID, you can be a man physically, dress as a man, behave as a man, but u can still call urself a female, u can still friggin ASK people to address you with a different pronount of YOUR friggin choice.
Misgendering a person, which is called someone with pronoun that they do not preferred to be addressed with amounts to harrassment! We as a society have for ages 'misgendered' gender fluid, queer people, and it is time we either learn of shut the eff up and disappear from the scene.

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Posted On Nov 18, 2020 - 07:14 PM

@letsfuck First of all i don't have rules for anyone except myself. Neither do i object anyone in their way of living. And no doubt that i follow strict rules of equality and feminism. And i feel proud to follow such rules. But i never ask anyone else to do that. As far as calling your child thing is concerned then, i have never in my life have objected someone for calling their child whatever they call. And i'm pretty sure that i will never do such a thing in the future too. When i don't object my own family members then, who am I to object others? So, what i said about calling your child thing is just something i have noticed in Indian families(mine and others) over the years. Neither do i shove my rules nor do i believe in such actions.
Now coming to your reply in which, it seems that, you have typed down all your anger and frustration and was just looking for a chance to burst out loud😄. I don't think there is any use of that. There is no need to increase your blood pressure when all we are doing is just having a discussion on a certain topic and that too on a platform which is made just for that. But then, i know where all this anger and frustration is coming from. I can gauge that from your comment here. Tbh all i did is that i questioned some of your statements and wrote down my opinion, on a topic which was based on discrimination, in which you seemed to ignored things that's currently happening in our country and then, that made you this much aggressive? Hey buddy, there is no point of all this. Just relax and chill out man.
Now I may be wrong or right here, idk. It may be the case that i'm not able to understand the topic of pronouns and gender fluidity the way some other people on this thread are able to. But then, all we are doing is just a discussion and disagreement is a part of it. I'm open to all the disagreements and never mind when someone tries to correct me. And it's never too late to understand new things in your life. So, have fun and take care 🍻 ✌

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Posted On Nov 19, 2020 - 01:58 PM

Im mostly very respectful to those around me. I wouldn't mind addressing anyone with however they liked to be addressed and seen. For me, I identify as a gay cis man.

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Posted On Nov 19, 2020 - 08:22 PM

I love being addressed as a she as i feel like a woman in a man's body. even in public places with men i am attracted to i have used feminine pronouns for my self and used feminine names for my organs. most men have respected that only a few have laughed and made me feel cheap and slutty.

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Posted On Nov 19, 2020 - 09:22 PM

same to our own community, belittling our own brother and sisters....same on such people

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Posted On Nov 20, 2020 - 09:07 AM

I love to be called as she. It makes me shiver in pleasure.

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Posted On Nov 20, 2020 - 03:56 PM

Hey, i want to apologise for the fact that my views were wrong on this subject. After going through some comments on this thread, i went across some articles and videos regarding this subject. And i found out that my views on this subject were wrong. So, i seek apology for hurting the emotions of people, especially those who are gender fluid. Also wanna thanks people here for correcting me out and helping me in understanding the topic in different and better ways.
Stay safe and have a nice weekend you all.

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Posted On Nov 20, 2020 - 04:17 PM

Learning and unlearning are constant :) But coming back and acknowledging that one was wrong is truly a sign of maturity and a strong character. Cudos for that @Shapeoflove. Cheers to you.

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Posted On Nov 21, 2020 - 07:17 AM

I apologise for my foul language to shape of love and everyone on the thread. These discussions are important for everyone. I will try to be neutral in the coming discussions.

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Posted On Nov 29, 2020 - 07:06 AM

i read some of this... i think its ok for only a guy feel himself completly as a woman..

others dont like it

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Posted On Nov 29, 2020 - 05:10 PM

It’s nothing but just to get attention from strangers. Actually this is chutiyapa. If using such words than y not dressing like she/her in public. Show ur guts by wearing such clothes and than use such words.

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Posted On Nov 29, 2020 - 06:06 PM

I think its a taboo to show guts when you dress up, girl or trans.

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Posted On Nov 29, 2020 - 06:54 PM

Learn to accept that there are people who like to be called with pronouns which may be incorrect as per you.

Logic does not apply everywhere.

Logically, scat and golden shower is not supposed to be erotic....But some people enjoy it ....Right?

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Posted On Nov 29, 2020 - 07:10 PM

No need to drag scat and golden shower here. Pronouns are not meant to be used for attentions so pls 🙏

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Posted On Nov 29, 2020 - 07:59 PM

Lol so you're comparing being called a she in private to dressing up in drag in public?

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Posted On Nov 30, 2020 - 03:35 PM

I don't have many gay friends and the few I am closed, we refer to ourselves mostly in the female pronouns if we are close and male pronouns if not or in a formal setting. I'm an effeminate person who is not super femme nor at all masculine but I am growing to be more comfortable in my own skin nowadays. Being girly and feminine is quite empowering and I'm not ashamed anymore.

Currently, I'm thinking whether or not should I transition myself but I'll consider about it in the near future when I'm more financially stable and can withstand family and society pressure. In the meantime, hey sisters y'all are fabulous.

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Posted On Nov 30, 2020 - 04:06 PM

That’s so cool

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Posted On Dec 2, 2020 - 02:43 PM

It helps me to loose out and relax and adress to feminine side of mine...I dont see any harm in this...

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Rum Bun
Posted On Dec 4, 2020 - 06:17 AM

it is individual's choice and wish. no need to say chi thoo and all here. we have to respect the diversity.

during personal conversation with friends I don't like to be called as she. i am not comfortable at all. but while having *** when the top calls me she or other names, I am very comfortable.

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Posted On Dec 6, 2020 - 01:45 PM

@Rum Bun yes its all depends individual choice..

no wonder calling bottom with fem name while having ***

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Posted On Dec 11, 2020 - 04:36 AM

Yes , I do accept its purely a personal choice to address using female pronouns. In fact as said by many it gives a sense of informal lighter moment amongst the gay fraternity.

But we need to be wary of the surroundings cos we don't want to be subject of ridicule or disgusting frowns while in public. As long as such things happen in private within the accepted non judgemental circle its fine.

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Posted On Dec 11, 2020 - 04:22 PM

That's hypocrisy.

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Posted On Mar 28, 2021 - 06:15 AM

When you talk directly to a person face to face you use gender neutral pronouns like “you”. Not sure what the fuss is all about.