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Submitted by Neelan122

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India : All India : All India : True Friendships in the Gay world

Is true friendship or friendship with love & romance is not possible in our Gay relationship? Why should that be restricted to straight guys?

Also, gay guys are not really faithful or trustworthy to their partners. For e.g. i had a friend who used me and throw me after fixing his marriage. Even before that i didn't realize that he was just using me as a *** toy.

And even in ohmojo guys chat with me & become closer & closer but later they reveal true faces or time passers or only for body or pleasures or bottoms.

Your views please.

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Displaying 1 to 27 of 27 comments.
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Neelan122
Posted On May 12, 2018 - 09:37 AM

Hi. Thnx for ur msg. But I'm not a *** freak...the discussion Qn is based my long term & bitter relationship in the past and a few recent bad & bitter experiences. Instead of healthy discussion & guidance it hurts me a lot!!! I'm sorry to say this my friends..

😒πŸ˜₯😰😨😭😭😭😭
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Nikky_dost
Posted On May 12, 2018 - 11:01 AM

I feel True friendship seldom exist in gay world. having said that. I am not saying that it never exist. It may but percentage is very less.. Here attachment is very less.. some guys are bold enough to admit that. they look for fun only. but some don't. and fun between men can occur so easily (though it is sometime hard to find a guy..but in most of the cases..just even a single eye contact is a green signal to start some sort of fun.) So guys sticking to one guy is very rare... So who ever venture into this..should be careful. that they should not take this very serious.. otherwise there is .. every chance of a heart break...
you may feel that some one has used u as a toy and discarded as he lost interest in you.. you feel that because you still like him...Just think you too might have rejected someone after few meets.. We always feel bad.. when some one blocked us abruptly in grindr or any other flatform.. but we dont think much when we too rejected someone.. Its always hard to digest the fact..in most cases.. the person u like .. doesn't like you and the one who likes you.. you dont like him..

Call it liberty...irony...what ever..most guys are multi partnered.. its a fact. while u *** someone.. he might be browsing grindr for a new one..
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raja bot
Posted On May 12, 2018 - 12:31 PM

I agree with neelan
Most of the people n ohmojo fb or pr are only 4 ***
There is no true relationship in gay. There might be exception but in general its like that.. use and throw
Or mostly one night stands.. thats the way it is..
Fortunate are those ones to get gay soulmates
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Neelan122
Posted On May 12, 2018 - 01:11 PM

Thnx Krishna and Raja bot for ur views. None can use us and at the same time.. If we lov som1 truly but he is a fly jump to another flower and we are not at all aware of until suddenly we r ignored and tgrown away, I dont know what to tell.

May be a person who loves truly knows the pain.

The discussion has two parts,

1. Is true friendship or friendship with love & romance is not possible in our Gay relationship?


Some of U already shared ur views & comments. Thnx 4 that. I respect ur views.

Second part is,

2. Why that (here that - true love / relationship /romance ) be restricted to straight guys only?
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Harshid
Posted On May 13, 2018 - 04:32 AM

Mr. Neelan... - in an one line answer - your perception might be wrong.
Even in straight relationship also , we could hear lot of stories on affair..
It's all depends on commitment of both the people who are into relationship.
Most of the times I could see gay relationship goes for 3 years. After that due to so many external factors either one of the guy used to go with others . By knowing that other partner also start hunting which will end up in breakups.
This is not only in this relationship it's all there even in straight relationship as well.
May be the occurrence is more in gay relationship than straight one due to social factors.
If u r true , and u found that u r partner is not into that line , simply move on.. you don't need to show the value of love for the people does not about the importance.
Saying move on is easy, but doing that is so painful which I understand. But we should make up our mind in that way and do.proceed rather to be suffer everyday.
And the other one you being cheated- buddy when people approach you just try to understand by talking to them.. and let the relationship to build first.. in between if some one force you for fun in first meet itself just simply ignore them to protect ourselves.
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Neelan122
Posted On May 13, 2018 - 04:37 PM

Hi.. Harshid

All ur points are to be inscribed on solid rock and also in my heart too...

1. Even in straight relationship also , we could hear lot of stories on affair..

2. It all depends on commitment of both the people who are into relationship.

3. This is not only in this (GAY) relationship, it's all there even in straight relationships as well.

4. If U r true, and U found that ur partner is not into that line, simply move on.. You don't need to show the value of love for the people do not know about the importance / value of love.

Very well said. Thank you so much 4 ur contributions.

These are pearls!!!

πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘
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tonedbloke
Posted On May 14, 2018 - 09:50 AM

Let me add a few of my personal views on friendship and relationship in a gay world.
It is difficult to find the right person with whom you would be so comfortable that you would want to spend a lot many years together. First of all the chemistry between the two should work and both should share a similar view point. Giving the freedom to your partner right from the beginning would be difficult due to jealousy and possessive nature of every human being but gradually in the relationship you can introduce the concept of open ralationship where either of you can see other men. That takes the strain off as most relationships break up because one of them wants to meet another man and inorder to prevent from getting caught they would prefer breaking up the current relationship. So first develop a level of intimacy and friendship with your partner and then once both of you are sure of wanting a long term relationship, then move to the next level. Else one person gets too emotionally involved and feels dumped when the relationship ends.
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Mani12
Posted On May 14, 2018 - 10:46 AM

Actually I am very lucky person to have an intimate close friend at the age of 19. We enjoyed maximum always. Kissing hugging *** closing nude bath nude sleep ....
But not ***. Till the age of 29. Almost 10 years. The great surprise is my dear was not a gay. He was nude and do even *** only with me. But upto I met him, I enjoyed only *** with few. Even his and my marriage and having children for both, the temper of our love and affection did not decrease a bit. Even now he may be ready to do with me, if I go and stay with me. Because of his job, I was actually seperated from him. I also had a lot of problems in my family financially.

Recently since five years only, after 15 years, I feel to enjoy back as I behaved with my close friend - 15 years back.

I got nearly more than 15 good friends as per my profile message.

I want to get the love and affection of my close friend got at the age of 19 from others.

Now it is not possible for me to go to my close friend for this closeness.

Now, among my close friends, three friends are almost as my close friend. I love them equally and enjoying........




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Valentine84
Posted On May 14, 2018 - 07:44 PM

First introspect yourself and inspect from a neutral point of view about the nature of it.

"IS IT *** IN THE NAME OF FRIENDSHIP ? OR FRIENDHIP WHICH HAS ROOTED OUT OF *** ?" If it's the former it's never bound to last long. Once the *** or the sexual needs ends, the so called friendship ends. But if it's the latter, you are lucky.

I have had both good and bad experiences. I am not sure how many of you have heard the word "fidelity" in gay ***? Most of us (including me at times) go an urge to satisfy our carnal needs and that's when we end up in multiple partners. Like the famous saying " A ROLLING STONE GATHERS NO MOSS", we too end up in meeting / mating many people but never retain any. Since the encounters are for just a sexual urge and so the resulting relationship is also short lived.

But instead of the time and effort spent on cruising, how many of us have invested that time and effort on a true friendship ? I wouldn't say I have did that with everyother person. But I did it with a few people who have remained my best friends on and off bed. I had bed the same guy over 60 times over a period of 4 years, and what started as a NSA hooK up is now a beautiful friendship. Since my bestie came into my life before two years, I had restricted a lot of my escapades. I have gay friends whom I have never had *** but remained friends for a good 9+ years .. I have friends whom I had only chat and never even met.. Even the chatting isn't anything sexual but about a variety of topics just like straight life friends with common friends...

Frienship is a mutual feeling and it takes time to grow and mature. When you find a potential friend invest in that good relationship, though *** happens or not you will be happy to get a good friend. If *** happens then it's an added advantage. Understand that friendship is more beautiful feeling than a sexual hook up.
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Neelan122
Posted On May 15, 2018 - 03:41 AM

@ valentine84, excellent response. Can't stop reading ur response again & again and over & over. Simple message with grt & practical meaning in it.

I also cant stop applauding & appreciating you 4 such a brilliant & honest response from your life which is a lantern shows path to many ppl who walk in darkness and need a light source of guidance

ThnQ so much my dear friend!....
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Exotic1234
Posted On May 15, 2018 - 06:00 PM

@valentine - Well written thought as usual and Profound !!

This topic also reminds me of a similar thought I have been having lately - Just like my family friends and acquaintances from the straight world have no clue about my gay inclinations, I have some friends from the gay world with whom am not too comfortable sharing all intricate details about my straight world. May be I like certain level of anonymity in everything. Is it important to reveal everything about yourself to be friends with someone? Can you be friends with someone without knowing every little detail about the person? My personal view is we need not bare all but still be friends if there is a connection but will be happy to know what others think.
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Valentine84
Posted On May 15, 2018 - 06:19 PM

@exotic - I believe it's an individual's prerogative about what you wanna reveal about yourself to others. I don't think that anonymity matters either in straight or gay friendship. I feel more at ease in a gay friendship than my straight friends since here I can be my ownself. I don't have to fake myself as a straight guy like I do with my straight life friends. To answer your question on do we need to reveal all about ourselves to a friends, well that depends on how comforatble you are with ur friend and again as I said before its an individual's discretion. Trust is one of the strong virtues which builts up friendship .. So you take a call .. Guess I answered your question
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CherryBlossom
Posted On May 16, 2018 - 02:42 AM

@Neelan122 Let me tell you my story...when I was abroad I was staying with a roommate he is a very nice person to move with but he was straight since we were staying in same room I started developing feelings for him. I was so caring and loving towards him may be he felt that I am loving him and he slowly stopped talking to me. He didn't even tell me about his marriage fix and sent the invitation in last minute. After that he totally stopped talking to me and I let him go wishing him good luck.Iwas hurt badly inside and took several years to recover. Though there was no physical relationship the emotional attachment was there which was hard for me. I have cried in front of God many times why you created me a gay and gave me these feelings b? I developed habit of feeding birds in pinching cold to overcome my sorrowness.That got me lot of other health problems.But if you see the problem was with me and not with him. He never asked me to love him it all happened because of my gay feelings. Life of gay is not easy atleast in india. With gay friendship itself if it was so much heart break if you enter x relationship the expectation grows many folds.It would be really hard if someone just leaves you when you love the person very much.The problem in gay relationship is there is no marriage concept and society consider it as taboo.If the concept of marriage was there then we may live for that person completely sharing everything include household,expenses etc and there may not be need to depend on dating etc.Other problem is if family which was once loving finds out you are gay they may turn hostile towards you.Same way if wife or inlaws comes to know it is lot of shame. Your friend has entered into marriage probably that is the reason he has just ended your relationship. It may not be a easy thing for you but for him his family and marriage has taken priority.He may also have guilt feelings inside. In my opinion just friendship without x may be good as the expectations would not be high and there no restrictions or constraints. But if you also bring in x then it becomes very difficult as you are both physically and emotionally attached to him.Also better to keep expectation on lower side so that we are ready to face even if other person decides to leave you anytime due to his other priorities.
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Exotic1234
Posted On May 16, 2018 - 05:04 PM

@Cherryblossom - It’s quite a pity that you got treated like that by your friend but I think he was probably homophobic. This is the worst enemy for creating the kind of acceptance that gay people expect in the society. Homophobia is common in the much evolved west too So it is probably worse in India. The homophobic behaviour comes based on the cultural &religious beliefs that people grow up with. In fact a lot of closeted homose xuals who go thru identity crisis and denial start with being homophobic. Some of them grow up to believe if you socialise with someone with gay inclinations you can turn gay too without realising it’s the DNA and the way people are born and not a choice they make. If your friend was straight he can never respond back with the same emotion that you look for he probably got scared and backed off. You must watch this movie β€œ The Object of My Affection” it’s about a str8 girl in love with a gay guy who is unfortunately not able to respond back to her with the same emotion. Homophobia is a big curse and that needs to be eliminated.
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Sasmathu
Posted On May 17, 2018 - 07:40 AM

@cherryblossm with what you have narrated i dont think it was just friendship. It was pure romantic love which straight guys are very good at sensing at. Since he is straight obviously he moved on with his life.
Guys let me tell you a real life incident where in a brilliant student ended up screwing up his studies and career in the name of g love/friendship. I met this guy when I went to Us for internship. His father was from mysore and mother a french born and brought up in US. He was tall dark and handsome and was doing MD PhD. After my return i got to know from another friend that he was thrown out of the school overnight for the simple reason he came out to his friend. Apparently this guy was sharing a room with another guy and developed good friendship. Out of trust this guy came out to his roommate who was a closeted homophobic. He reported this to the School authority and gave it in writing. The school was a ultraconservative jewish university in bronx (those of you who have lived in NY will know. I am deliberately avoiding the name). Hell break loose. That guys mentor framed a case against him saying he stole the camera from the lab and the very next day he was terminated. The guy went to the court but lost since it is a fight between an individual versus an institution. The society lost a good doctor. Just google the name Jeevan Padiyar and you would get the whole story.
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CherryBlossom
Posted On May 17, 2018 - 08:11 AM

Thanks exotic and sasmathu for comments. It was friendship that blossomed into love for me. I never came out openly may be indirectly which he didn't like and just stopped talking to me as before. What was painful for me is the feeling of isolation and insult just because of my feelings. I don't want to just sound negative there are also good friends who may accept the love and stay as your friend but the numbers in my opinion could be less. Everything depends on what you are , person you meet and your destiny to greater extent which decides all. I was a day dreamer and in my teens I had many times dreamt of spending my life with a man who would care me like anything. With that mindset when somebody showed me care and affection I fell in love and forgot reality. Love made me blind and hence I went through all the trouble.But time heals everything and I now feel good. We have to move on in life and guess what I found a friend who care for me and talk to me regularly. It just feels good. But as you all mentioned society is homophobic . Clementine suicide and Delhi boy beaten for being suspected to be a gay etc. Thanks for sharing your views
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Neelan122
Posted On May 17, 2018 - 05:15 PM

Hi.. CherryBlossom, don't worry, true love always find its way to reach you...wherever you are, however far long it is, and whatever the situation is!!! I do not mean the person who left you but who was born and meant for you.

Thanks for sharing your experience!!!

You see, my story or life was different from yours. In your case, he was not really interested. He was straight and so he did not want to hurt you, make use of you, or take advantage of you & throw you after using you.

"He did not use you sexually, emotionally, financially or for anything favourable to him. In my case all these things happened. I was simply used and not loved by him. But I never or ever realized or understood it. When I understood it was late.. Too late..😒πŸ˜₯😰😩

Btw.. We were in to physical relationship however never into hardcore things such as ***. But he used to ask me to kiss him, love him, hug him and all such caring stuff. He used to be so possessive in such a way I can't mingle or be close with others.

That much of insecurity he had as people like me so much especially for my intelligence, presence of mind, helping nature and positive & friendly attitude with all. After all this 'thing' (ME) was used, I was thrown away. Now no contact between us.

In your case, he simply left you after knowing about you. It means he respected the way you are and did not want to intrude in your life i.e. a golden future which is awaiting you along with your best partner with the greatest understanding & love.

Who knows? He might have feared, if he may be attracted bcs of your true love & care. But he was a straight, he understood and left you.

Without liking or understanding each other, how 2 persons can live together or spend time?. It's not possible, right my dear friend?


Hence, the person whom you truly loved & cared for was not indeed a homophobic. We cant say that bcs of the reason he did not reciprocate your love.

In my case, I was faithful, loyal & we both loved each other & cared for.. I thought, at least we spent & had good time together..but later only I understood those were the moments he just used me for his emotional, sexual, financial (yes, since my love was unconditional, I helped him with ALL MY EARNINGS, with the part time job, by savrificing my sleep & health) needs. That's all. 😒πŸ˜₯😰😒πŸ˜₯😰😒πŸ˜₯😰

I know this universe knows about me. I know about myself. I will be successul in my life. I will be the happiest person with my best buddy.

"I'm happy as I am and I'm proud as I am."

As I said earlier, U r a nice person with pure love & affection and this quality & faith will bring the lovely half (your heart) to you from anywhere else.

I started this thread and I learned a lot from several other members here. After reading, pondering over what I thought was, I want to live the best life with success in front of him. In this process I'm not going to take revenge of him rather I'm gonna prove to myself that being a gay, nothing will be denied and I am gonna achieve, whatever I desired!!!

PS
In India, no gay man is against his partner's decision on marriage. Bcs he understands gay man marries for several reasons. Parent's pressure, social obligation / family status, etc. And so I am..

A gay guy expects true & unconditional love, care and moral support. That's all!!!

I'm sorry if I have hurt CherryBlossom or anyone here. I also hope I expressed my views politely and in a friendly manner so that this will not hurt anyone. If you feel so ping my inbox and correct me wherever I'm correct or wrong.

Thank you so much for your response, partocipation, support & sincere efforts!!!
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Sasmathu
Posted On May 17, 2018 - 05:52 PM

@Neelan you spoke your heart so nothing to regret about. BTW true friendship or even love is a mirage. The sooner we realize it better it is. Only parental love is unconditional but in todays situation even that comes with conditions. Lets be strong, lets be practical and lets be successful in life.Being a gay and naive is a deadly combination. But then experience is expensive and teaches you many things. The moment you realize every man (including you) is shiva swaroopam you will automatically see power in your hands and you would know how to handle your life. To me offense is wrong defense is right- just my policy of life.
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Valentine84
Posted On May 17, 2018 - 08:09 PM

@sasmathu .. I guess I have to disagree to your statement " true friendship or true love is just a mirage" not really.. It's only the people who aren't true... The feelings of love or friendship are always true or rather pristine.. But it's the not so true people who are a mirage..

Guess you ought to meet some really true people to understand that... I have friends whom I could have never met in my normal straight life.. But I have met them in my gay life ., they have infact introduced me to their straight life friends and families.. What else could have made it possible than a good and trust worthy friendship..?

Like I said in some previous threads "WHAT YOU SOW IS WHAT YOU REAP", how far are you true in love or friendship always you get your returns in the same way.. Ofcourse atleast over a period of time.. Also it depends on the true people whom you chose.. But true love or true friendship always exists.. When I was operated I was completely taken care by a gay doctor friend of mine.. In my worst depressed times in my life I had gay friends who had emotionally supported me.. You earn true friends by investing true emotions.. Everything comes for a price, likewise true friends comes at the price of being true to the virtue of friendship ..
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rogertoni22
Posted On May 26, 2018 - 08:24 AM

@ Neelan : Your intention being in this forum should be ***. You meet someone, physically plunge into action and once you realize you are satiated and if things work fi you meet him often. This might go on for a while and if it has to happen you will discover friendship blossoming and *** would have inadvertently taken the back seat. This friendship would ideally be true and will definitely last long.

Instead, if you seek friendship here at the first instance , that very intention is an hogwash - for everyone knows the intention is different.
And you are either fooling yourself or trying to fool others under the garb of friendship. :):):).

Have good fun and move forth. Frienship will happen if it has to...you just cannot coerce...
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Neelan122
Posted On May 26, 2018 - 08:54 AM

Pls ignore the previous comment. Read this comment..

@rogertoni, thank you so much for your comments. My intention for starting this discussion was... Not only just in forums like Ohmojo.. Anywhere outside.. In our gay world, having true frndships is possible or not?!!

Your points are truly valuable and at the same time, how many of our fellow members will be ready to just have *** only.??

At least they shud feel comfortable, understand, bcom and a lil frndly, thn only guys can hook up n develop frndship further. Othrwse it won't be good. It's just my humble opinion. And opinions can differ from person to person.

Needless to say, whilst there are ppl who seek only *** as main motto, there are also ppl like me who like Fun.. But also need love, affection, romance as well.

Once thanks for your valuable comments my friend. πŸ˜ŠπŸ‘
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Being_Unlucky
Posted On May 26, 2018 - 09:28 AM

@Valentine I agree with you. Here is an incident, I wanna let u know. I met an uncle he is 48 years old. He likes only young smooth bottoms. He treats them like his gf. He used to stay near central station. I don't even recollect how I met him. Anyway, it happened in 2009 I was hardly 20... We decided to meet his visit in Chennai. . He is from Madurai. I did not have mobile at that time. But somehow I used to call from 1rs coin boxes. I was pretty new to chennai. I was in awe of chennai like anybody who is from southern part of TN. He cam from Madurai and booked a room in central. He had some works. We decided to meet on Sunday. He told me to come in the morning. So i went we had breakfast. He came to know that im new to the city. So he took me in his company car. We roamed around longer time. He bought me t shirts. We saw movie. I think its Vishal movie Sathyam. Night came. He appreciated me for having good smooth body. We had awesome fun. Its over. We part our ways. Then I called him one day. He told me that his friends are coming to CHE asked me if I can meet them. I said yes. I met his friends both are huge top uncles. I had great fun. It's over. Then these 2 uncles came to chennai. We met often. But he never came to chennai, but we used to talk a lot. I got mobile. We used to talk even more. Not relationship as such he is such a playboy. Years have gone. Our friendship grew stronger. In 2015 he called me that he is coming chennai . In 2009 I don't even know what top means when I met him. 6 years. I met so many guys. So... He told me that he is coming with his family . His wife was going under a surgery. His son daughter came. I was meeting him n his family in hospital for a month on every weekends. He is such a nice person. Im still in touch with me . We spoke a lot n speaking a lot but we had *** only once. Now he is telling me that I should invite him for my marriage. I was trying job abroad in 2016. He gave his son num who is in USA to check with him. What else I could ask from him. So I agree true friendship is always possible in gay meetings.
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LOTUS143
Posted On May 26, 2018 - 09:58 AM

hi,

not one or two i have 03 best friends , its all started when i was young 20/22, it was pure lust in the starting stage slowly changed to friend ship and still in touch and talk regularly, with 2 of them *** has been stopped long back but our friendship remain for ever ,
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rogertoni22
Posted On May 26, 2018 - 11:28 AM

@ Being _ lucky : Absolutely.. Neelan.. look how it all started.. Initially the motive was ***..
Had that uncle not liked this guy ( HIs smooth body ) do you think the entire thing would have materialized and blossomed into friendship ?????? Never.

They had good fun initially. Then friendship happened like that over a period of time. You just cant engineer it.
If it dint happen, all said and done both would have had good time on bed which they could cherish anytime later. Period. :):):):)
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Pandi1980 *
Posted On May 27, 2018 - 09:37 PM

Everyone has their own definition of true friendship.We can't define the true friendship actually.Some may help think friends who helps emotionally are true.Some may think friends who helps financially (at time of emergency) are true.This thought goes on with many criteria like care,love,affection.

There can be friends in this G life.Infact, I have many good friends who are gays compared to my real life friends.It's nothing about being lucky to have good friends. It's only about how we carry ourselves in the friendship.There shouldn't be any expectations on having friendship with people.I never expected to meet high end guys (I meant in terms of money and education).But almost all my friends are high profile guys.They never showed any attitude to me.

Just go with the flow of life without any expectations. I do agree we all are poor humans who expects much.The thing is that we should practice to get through disappointments as well.Everyone in this world has good and bad experience in having friendship.Be good to all and never expect the same.If at all I expected anything from anyone and it doesn't happen,I used to open my feelings about the same to that person and finally I also add that I would never expect the same from that person.This is my policy of to avoid hurting(disappointments)

We can't restrict ourselves only to meet good.It's good or bad everything is an experience is my view. (It's good or bad.It's your choice so you need to take the responsibility - my ananymous friend)

The first gap comes into Friendship is possessiveness.Actually I am very possessive but I believe my friends (I will accept the reason it may be true or not but thing is to what extent do u accept that and in what case).You can't take away anything all of a sudden.Eveything takes time.You may have 1000 friends but the priority matters.You may give first priority to one friend but you shouldn't expect the same from him.It has to be given automatically you shouldn't force to have priority.If you befriended with some guy you shouldn't expect him to talk with you always.There might have friends whom they met before you.You might be very good and Caring compared with that friend but time also matters how long.If they really feels that you are worthy you will be given the priority automatically.It's your mistake to expect priority and take advantage on someone's life.For me every friends are special in some way.Everyone is unique.Be true to your Friends.My friends know about me that I had how many friends.It reduces trouble.Don't act like you are my only friend to each and every person whom you meet.

I met a friend through some other forum
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Pandi1980 *
Posted On May 27, 2018 - 10:02 PM

Continued...

Yesterday I met him.He is so kind and good.Met him in mall and went to movie with him.We chatted a lot before we met and we shared a lot on our meeting.I felt some good feelings in his presence.He created some impact in me.This doesn't mean that I could propose him or go and bed with him immediately.Every person we meet will create some impact in our life.We need to realise the thing.We both are good to each other.The thing is that I think,does he like my presence ? and he might have think the same.But we asked the same to each other soon.I can't predict how long this continues.That also we shared and laughed at.The memories that every person leaves is so important.We both wish to continue our good friendship without any expectations from both sides.

I do have friends who wishes on my birthday,cares for me while I am down, prays for my goodness.What else I need more ? If my friend is wishing on my this year's birthday.The thing is that I can't give assurance that the same friend will wish me on my next birthday but I wish he should do the same in all my following birthdays.

Try to pour out your feelings to the person for whom u feel for.It may be happiness,angry,sad.Don't store inside,one day or other it will burst out which will create bad damage for sure.

Most importantly give your friends their own space.You have all rights to give the best suggestions and point out their mistakes.It's their opinion to change that. you should not force them.Kindly don't show feelings on one side and feel for that person.It's absolutely your mistake.

Never ever expect..Just go with the flow...Be kind and help others as much as possible...Be happy

"It's good or bad.The choice is yours so u need to take the responsibility - ananymous friend"
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ganram
Posted On Jun 14, 2018 - 10:16 AM

I too got such bitter experiences. But I am a top versatile, but the approach in such platforms most of the guys approached like the bye passers and without telling a good bye they left!! First of all we every one well known about our needs and get into this sight. Then why not we approached any unknown stranger as a friendly manner? See if we talk over phone or send a sms what is the normal manner? We introduced about our name and then ask about the person we called. Instead most of us put an sms as Hi... or I got your no. who are u? What is your Name? etc., is it advisable. Before getting friendly manner how can we interact in intercourse? I REQUEST EVERYONE IN THIS SITE APPROACH EACH OTHER AS A FRIEND. WE NEVER INSISTED ANY ONE REGARDING SEXUAL NEEDS. THAT IS EVERYONE MIND SET UP. If our taste are ok then we further approached friendly. Out of *** why not we discussed many subjects and build a better relationship? DEAR FRIENDS HOW MANY TIMES WE MEET AND DATING IS NOT A MATTER; INSTEAD HOW LONG WE MAINTAIN A GOOD FRIENDSHIP IS IMPORTANT. I frankly said since my age of 13 I get this gay ***.Before such computer or cell facilities we maintained a good relationship and even now more than 20 years gay friends are still in contact and time permits we meet and joy. Understand the age is not a matter. But the mind setting and mutual understandings are must. See I am 53 completed, single, but still I have friends between 19 to 60 age group who are all in decent departments. Two are in defense too. Hope this detailed letter will be an eye opener of everyone. All the Best.