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Self Acceptance & Emotional Support


Submitted by Coolbisu91 Location: All India (All India, India)

One of the hardest phases in a gay person's life is self acceptance. It is a battle that most of us have to fight alone. While some of us finally win the fight, a large number of persons lose it.

Knowing that I'm gay and accepting myself as gay was actually completely different. I was already struggling with my sexuality when I watched the movie "Dear Zindagi". There in a scene, Alia asked a gay boy "Why do you visit your therapist? Is it so that you can tell people that you're gay?" The boy replied "No, so that I can tell MYSELF that I'm gay"

That's when I realised the importance of self acceptance and started working out for that. It took me long to finally accept myself. But I think it would've been easier and faster if I could talk to someone.

So how was/is your experience? Pose share them. Your story can inspire many others like you.

And also to the ones still struggling, if you want to talk to someone, feel free to reach me. I can be the non-judgemental ear when you can still be anonymous.

Reply/Post a comment


Displaying 1 to 16 of 16 comments.

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Naveenkumar1145
Posted On May 2, 2019 - 02:59 AM

In my experience, accepting to your self or even saying it out loud is very important and at the same time very difficult thing to do. Especially when there is no one we can talk to(which is in majority of the times). I remember saying to myself that I'm not attracted to men while I was thinking about someone I found attractive. And once I slowly began start thinking its OKAY to be attracted to men and saying it out loud, I felt super relaxed and happy within myself. That also gave me courage to come out to my close friends and family.

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Mehtaaa
Posted On May 2, 2019 - 04:44 AM

Main abhitak khud ko as gay accept nhi kar paya hun, its very diffcult. Confidence pe bahot jyada affect karti hai ye baat. Jab log lgbt ke bare me bat karte hai ya haste hai tab bhi aap kuch nhi kar sakte :(

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Auzy
Posted On May 2, 2019 - 12:11 PM

Dont let history interfere with destiny. We have to stop being a victim of circumstances & start living the life we want

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Anush53 *
Posted On May 2, 2019 - 01:02 PM

We bottoms are setting up our mind as we are Gays, but society and 75 percent of gay sites are taking advantage of us. All friendship and love trust all the things going up to bed only. After *** bottoms are again alone only. I can't see any true friendship and love after *** in my experience.

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kingofdesire56
Posted On May 2, 2019 - 02:36 PM

@Anush53 Then maybe you just have met the wrong people till now. I mean there are some nice people out here as well. Who just wanna have a friendship. *** is secondary. Sometimes you just wanna cuddle and talk as well. Or much less just chat.

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ALWAYS4U
Posted On May 2, 2019 - 08:11 PM

Self acceptance of gayism may not be much useful but having self respect is a good concept which teaches you to respect the guys who are gays. Don't blame the society, society is nothing but a group of people like us and we are part of society. Try to make yourself comfortable and accept the gays who come across in your day today activities of life

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ALWAYS4U
Posted On May 2, 2019 - 08:23 PM

Anush53, i agree with your comments but all are have their own life besides ***. Loving passionately with your mate is different from having possessiveness on your mate. your passionate behaviour makes your mates close to your heart but your possessiveness makes them uncomfortable in their life. I have 25+ years of friendship with my bottom guys as we have a strict partition between our sexual life and friendship. Giving heart is much easier but console the broken heart is highly imposible. First realize that our sexual relationships are different from MF relationship, moreover most of the top gays are bisexual and having thier own family which the society accepted and made by them with heartfelt bonding with the members of their family. The bottoms respecting the family relations of their tops, can maintain a bonding of family friendship with their top guys. surely you will get lesser pain than you are presently getting with the situation you explained on 02.05.2019. merely doing *** is not make you happy adding heartfelt bonding with your mate will surely make you feel happy and the moments memorable in your life. Try once, surely you will get happiness in your life.

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Coolbisu91
Posted On May 3, 2019 - 01:19 AM

Anush53, no good relationship starts with ***. Two people can just meet due to other circumstances and like each other and finally fall in love or, if they aren't lucky enough to meet the partner from their day to day life, then they can start it by a simple date. *** is an important part of a relationship, but that can never be the starting point. So of you're, going for an One Night Stand with a guy, enjoy the ***. Don't expect for something great starting from that. It is called ONE night stand for a reason.

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letsfuck
Posted On May 4, 2019 - 12:10 PM

Anyone who wants counselling and support can approach Humsafar Trust. It is an NGO working in the LGBTQI space. They have a panel of counslers and psychologists who are qualified and experienced. Your identity will be protected. Do not suffer alone. Please seek help. You can directly go to their office on Vakola or you can fix an appointment. The details are available on google. Search "Humsafar Trust"and you will get the address and phone number.

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Mebtm
Posted On May 6, 2019 - 06:26 AM

Anush53 u are absolutely right I also feel the same thing
We Bottoms are jst for fun no real relationship ...........
We are taken for granted

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Anush53 *
Posted On May 6, 2019 - 01:24 PM

Mebtm, I'm appreciating your expression openly. Many of our gays are expressing their opinions in a something hiding manner. They always pointing the weakness of bottoms. They are really not the part of our Gay world,but they are really straight Tops only to use the bottoms in the name of friendship. They need only the pleasure of ***. But their talking is like a counsellor.

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Mebtm
Posted On May 16, 2019 - 05:53 PM

Then what about bottoms their life
But gay marriages happen in foreign countries
@anush53

And I dont want to be used by someone it's very slutty feeling

Y God made me a gay ???

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Here4Love
Posted On May 16, 2019 - 07:22 PM

Hello everyone...
Actually the concept of gay is basically wrong in our country ..People don't know what does exactly gay means..so the problem arises that one section of our community is being used & looked down .
There is a misconception in our country that gay means those male bodies who are born to get fu*ked. They want to fulfill body desires so that they pretend to love men & want relationship . It is very well equal to female prostitute...like it's oftenly said that prostitute doesn't have heart to love ( also one of the dialogue from the movie DEVDAS of 2002) .


But then how it should be ????
GAY means a man who is interested in another men. This is what everyone knows...
But if one goes deeply - it means a man who loves other man, a man who likes the company of other man, a man who likes to watch other man, a man who loves the smell of other man, a man who wants to share his life with other man, a man who loves being admired by other man, a man who want to earn & spend for other man & much more ...etc etc & finally reaching to bed for sexual desire ofcourse afterall that's what it should be ideally..
& Ofcourse in reality there is no top or bottom ...it's just a guy when in bed just likes to *** & one likes to get ***..it's very simple ...
But in our country it's used as a Surname ...like I m Mr.XYZ bottom or I m Mr. PQR top etc etc ...that's strange
& We revolve our life around those two words which make things go in wrong direction. Bcoz of which problem arise.
But what exactly happens --- *** , *** & *** ( maximum cases) . & the word relationship is used for those sexual intercourses which are done to maintain a single partner for long time & when the purpose is over ...there is no *** & the dummy so called relationship is over . ( again maximum cases as there are rare exceptions ) ....

Now comes the love part ... Ofcourse love means having special feelings for each other & all ...but if we go deeply again it's a big science with no facts & exact definition but is purely based on mutual understanding , trust , loyalty, responsibility towards each other & much more...
But in real in our country Gay relationship doesn't have these things as base...It is called love as it based on the pillars of trust , loyalty but the pillars of understanding & responsibility towards each other are less in use .
Like in straight couples it is being taught that no matter how much difficult your relationship gets at a point of time, give it a time find solution , be with each other , it will be on track again ...
But here its just walk off ....no responsibility no understanding ...( again exceptions are there ) ..no working on problem for solution ...

Coming to very different note....
What Ancient Indian mythology says about Homosexuality ????
Answer is simple : A person who has homosexual orientation should never marry the person of opposite gender . ( Bisexual ofcourse have the option to marry ) .
& one can easily find the statues of homosexuals having *** in many archeological places in India ( won't take the name ) which clearly signifies that it was allowed in our culture.
Coming out part ???
Now-a-days much of the Indian population & foreign population also has started accepting the fact that Ancient Indian culture was rich as well as was based on logical basis ...so the reasons to facts are such that one can trust them as they are logical ( now here m not talking about the superstitions & all just talking about such texts which really are logical & even used by foreign scientist & researchers ) coming back to the thing ...
What I suggest that referring the texts which are relevant to this & then have a logical & culture based reason to support to coming out to someone...bcoz here people think that homosexuality is foreign concept...
So try to give reference of our own culture so that it is easy to accept & trustable by Indian population .

Now coming to Marriage part:
Again here Ancient Indian texts are silent but allows *** between consenting persons as well as Indian law says same thing . But one more thing ...According to Hindu Marriage Act ( don't know about others so excuse me ) two consenting adults can marry according to their wish after or at attaining the age suitable for marriage. It is completely silent which two adults ....between male-female / male-male/ female - female ...so again it's not clear.
So homosexual marriage can happen but is not considered....So now that ???
Numbers play the game --- if a huge number of homosexual ( gay/lesbian) start to have real relationship & intend to marry , they should marry ...ones the number will start increasing , obviously it will be noticed & slowly slowly society & law has to accept & legalize it ...
What we think it's the govt. & society job to accept us & legalize us ...
What if this would be the thinking of freedom fighters ( they came to rule us so its there job to leave our country ) what would have happened ?!???
Even if the considerable amount of population goes & settles in foreign countries so that they make a family & live peacefully ...then again the govt. will have to consider afterall bcoz of its mistake only it's loosing its youth & workforce .

Talking about emotions & other factors :
It's okay that the gay person who likes to play bottom role feels his man superior to him...Why ???? I know it's natural but why ??
Now-a-days even in straight couples there are signs of equality & now people think both should be at par ( no superior both equal) again this is supported by ancient Indian texts .
Coming to our part ...if we start giving respect equally to each other then this problem won't arise...
It's the fault of both ( the person who calls himself top should respect the other one & the one who calls himself bottom should not over respect& surrender the other )
It's often heard that bottom are used like materials & all
Obvious answer : if u give yourself in wrong hands that's gonna happen ( don't anyone take it personally )
& m saying this bcoz don't always blame the other ...he also gets tempted & you also ...but to stop that thing from happening it's in our hand as we cannot control the other person's mind ...So don't ever think your blamed for being used but ur blamed bcoz u didn't used your power which u have...See afterall for our ownself one has to stand rather wasting energy blaming the opposite demon who did that ( again don't anyone take it on themselves ) .

Recently I read in some thread that being Gay is only right when u have *** otherwise it's a shame to be a Gay on this earth by not having *** ???
By the way no one has the right to decide the purpose of anyone's birth in this world ...So if anyone thinks it's a shame then from such point of view every single orientation is a shame....Think over it

Thanks

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Ankit v
Posted On May 18, 2019 - 10:10 PM

I need to talk to someone about the confused feelings i have. I am very depressed everytime i climax because i cant accept the fact that i am a bi. The moment i climax and c*m, I am not bi ,i am straight again. Just because of hormonal disbalance due to overmasturbation, i think i become a pure bottom boy who likes matured tops! This dual nature puts me in a big dilemma and often makes me think i am insane and brings me to the brink of suicide. I cannot believe the amount of stigma and shock ill face from my family, my friends, my cousins, my relatives if they come to know about my bi nature. I have had numerous risky encounters and great pleasure from many tops, but now its wearing off and i dont feel ANY excitement anymore , nor girls nor boys! Maybe i broke my *** hormones and they are eventually dying out?

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wingedcupid
Posted On May 19, 2019 - 12:45 AM

Ankit its heartening to read your message
Good news is even on a worst case scenario this does not warrant suicide
Try talking to happy gay friends...or else write your feelings as it is in a mail to yourself. Read it after 10 days. U wud feel how silly we worry about things as time goes on

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Edward75
Posted On May 19, 2019 - 03:54 AM

I love being a bottom and have no problem being a *** bitch to straight or top guys. How can you look down on what you are all about. Message me and let's talk any bottoms feeling depressed